At this point in life, everything has lost its importance to her.
She felt like she was stuck in a hole.
used all the anger she had.
hit her fists on the shoulders of life.
But it was no use.
All this was the result of a useless efforts.
And now she felt helpless.
could not continue because all her forces were depleted.
had tears in her eyes and was tired of the endless sadness of this existence.
And that was enough to make her feel helpless.
Feeling lonely.
So lonely...
Mrs han shouting was making everything worse. But what could she do to calm the broken angry woman down.
She yelled again , it's like she was pouring all her anger in mrs eunhwa's cup,filling it till she wants cause she know how eunhwa is helpless to overflow.
At this state all this little girl could do was shedding tears and control her numb yet shaking body.
" i told them , we fucking planed everything but they never listen , they are always like this , they like to throw themselves in mud"
She was yelling out loud ,thinking she is controling her tears but they were falling again and again.
She was also trembeling , sadness was clear in her eyes but she was covering it with the anger she had. Her trembeling body get side hugged by eunhwa whom heart is filled with sarrow by the news they heard but still wants to heal others.
" i-l told them...eunhwa i told them , showed them the best way , i did everything i could..."
She start crying , the thing she wanted to do all this time. Sobbing by explaining how hard she tried to save them but they ignore all her efforts. She explained what she told them, said them to set up a meeting with those bastards so she can come up with police men but all they did was not giving two shits to her words and at the end ruining the plan.
Her tears shed again.right now controling them was something like miracle.
She tried to be strong. She tried to not make others feel sorry for her , to not pity her , she tried it over years, but now she wants to be weak with all her heart.
want to surrender for a short time.
want someone to control everything.
Hold her in arms and tell her that everything will be fine.
She doesn't wanna be the strong y/n anymore....
She is just asking god to gave them back
She wanna do something but can't, she is only able to suffocate her screams in her heart
She tried so hard but the only thing she get is melting bit by bit?
it feels like running to reach her goal, but the road is getting bumpy and she is only getting further away from her destination.
She stayed , showed him her loyalty, but only get his answer 'be out of things that doesn't relate you' .The only answer was their broken promises and his ignorance to all her concern.
She is just tired , too tired of begging them to help them
Begging them to explain her , to listen to her, to stay
And god know how insanly she was begging mrs han in morning to let her go with them after hearing they were is hospital and arrested....
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Her heart was beating out loudly and fastly not because of running all the way to third floor but because of not being ready to see how hurt they are.
She searched all around only to see jimin standing far in the corner , his one hand handcuffed with a policemen hand.
Her dry eyes start to get wet for another good reason as she saw how badly bruised up he was , his head was still bloody though there was a bandage on his forhead.piece of his clothes torn and his face showed how angry he is.
She just wanna cry...to what did they turned too , to what they ended up...
It's like her nightmare came alive , it wasn't the same case but it was as dark as that.
Her heart start pounding when their eyes met eachother.
It's like he saw what he wanted to see , like the peace finally found its way towards him. With a step towards her , he was harshly pushed back to his place hissing due to the cold metal hurting his wrist.
She with her stuck breath ran towards him.the cruelness of that policeman was hurting him physically and her mentally.
"Jimin..."
Her weak and broken voice called his name.again he wanted to walk to her , calm her down , or maybe calm himself down like they would always do , being a shoulder to cry and lean their head on....
But again that cruel monster beside him pushed him back not caring how it hurts his wrist.
It didn't take much time for mrs han and eunhwa with some of staffs of orphange reach there.
It was like some one has put mrs han's soul on fire by seeing how hurt jimin already was and how that man was ignoring it.
Soon she pushed back y/n and start shouting , yelling , fighting and nearly beating that man for the way they were holding her child.not caring he was some how the guilty one...no one could stand infront of this angry woman.
Soon the police officer showed out of no where and was able to hold that woman's wrists to stop her from hurting his cooperator.
He had harshly pushed her back , now the fight between them started , like they forgot they are in hospital , where there need to be peace for pateint...
"Don't cross your limit miss or we can complain about your wild behaviour , it's the freaking law , we have every right for what we arr doing"
"When arresting under eighteen kid without letting him talk become part of law ,This isn't law or any other stupid things you are calling it , just let them go so the community will check this issue"
It was clear they were just playing some sick games , every body know they shouldn't be punished like that. They would surly have an punishment but not in adult way, the punishment that the community had planned for them was bad enough.
" like you don't know or maybe you're just acting all stupid , they were cought during street fighting with bunch of drug dealers who we are trying to find for years , till they don't fucking help us in finding them they will be having fun in our cage , and no one can save them nor you or that community. NOW BACK OFF AND DON'T WASTE MY TIME "
He said as rude as he could be and left after hittng her shoulder , not forgetting to take jimin with him.
Though it was hard for all of them to react or even breath but still they tried to do something useful , geting help from all the people they knew , by calling in the phone or pleading those policemen as their future was on their fist , one wrong move and they could send them in prison.
Her weak knees made her to sit on them , pressing her head in her hands trying to take out all the dark and dirty thoughts out of it.
Unknowingly a salty tear made their way out of her eyes , then another one , and others come out again....again and again and again...It seems like crying is the only thing left in her life
And she know it well.
She has more tears in her throat than words.
She's sad
Just like a little girl who lost her mother in the middle of the night in a dark crowded and chaotic street.Terror has taken over her being and hee thin body trembles, she looks around confusedly and no matter how much she screams, she does not find her mother.she only gets lost more than before among the crowds and the flood of her sorrows,and anyone who passes by ignores her.
The worst of all is how foxy people these people are...
They don't care who they are , how injured they are and how they bahave with them , the only important thing is what the want.and maybe they are right...when you try an adult thing , you must be ready for an adult consequence.
His image was played in her mind , the memory of their last time talks , again a pain punched her heart by remebering how she begged him to don't go , to come back...only if he would listen....then none of this would happen , they wouldn't be cought by police while the main guilties had ran away.
Her trembeling weak legs made her stand up as she start searching the rooms for him...she looked so crazy , so mad...
Just at that time , a nurse came out and before she could close the door their eyes fell on each other.seems like she was talking to him but his attention was every where but on her words.she wasn't so sure as the nurse was on her way but it's like his head was all bandaged up.
If someone want to describe him, he have to say that his outer shell is a strong person who doesn't need anyone and is very calm, but if that person know the language of his eyes , he would see in the core there is a person who has a broken heart and is sitting in a corner and healing his wounds.and that person is none other than her...who is the most fluent person for his eyes...
Her legs steped towards him without herself knowing ,
He was the same broken glass that hurt her hand when she touched it, but she kept touching though she knew it's able to hurt her more and more.
hurt was clear in her eyes , in her moves and so others while he was drown in regret but seeing her become a light in his darkness , just like always she managed to be the best saviour.
But before she could do any other thing her arms was in a tight hold...
"Mrs han..."
Her heart clenched by seeing her state , every one were like a depressed people , because of them.
She was dragged all the way down to parking , no matter how she cried yelled and struggled...it was impossible for her to get free.
She was pushed in a car which showed one of orphanage guards to be the driver
" send her to orphanage"
"Why you all do this to me.... i'm not a toy to play nor a thing to drag here and there"
Her broken voice came out by her loud sobs , her words were true and hurtful but she should know it's dangerous for her to be there....maybe one of thoes gangstars still be out there , or get hurt to see the boys , or even get ill for all the hospital contamination...
"You will understand me when you'll be in my place....what are you waiting for?! Drive!"
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Some one said that you understand sadness, both you and others, but about sorrow, only you can but maybe if you explain it hard others will figure it out too, but about grief...not only others but you yourself can't understand...it's just like a black stain on heart and brain that you don't how to clean it...
Slowly lay down on the land , closing her eyes letting sun shine all over her.
Suddenly a tear rolled down which made her to again open her eyes.
Sometimes she ask herself , how are you girl?
And later it'll be like no....
She was so immersed in the pretense of her life that she forgot how bad the situation was.
She forgot that at any moment she has the potential to cry for 24 hours and don't know why.
Not that she doesn't know...but when a person reaches a certain level of sadness, she no longer feels it.
Only something inside makes her bent and bent more.
She has bend so much that she got completely tangled inside herself.
And now it's a tangled knots , in a way that even if God comes, nothing will change.
It is called being late
When it's too late, your knots will be so tight that even if you forget, you'll again remember what happened to make you like this...
She sniffed trying to control herself...but no one know how many time she broke down only by seeing some one who only his shirt was like his.
She still cry like a child.
But no one promises her candy anymore, no one even tries to make her happy; Growing up is so sad!
Not so many thing has changed , mrs han is hardly trying to get them out of that hell where jimin is already at and after taehyung's discharge he will be definitely send to there...
They wants their place but only thing they got out of their mouth was how they were forced doing these all and how their band scaped after seeing police...some information which was already knowen by them.
But the question was why their mouth was shut.one word and they will be free...atleast from Detention center and police stuffs...
She closed her eyes and there was jimin's smile , his angelic and pure one, the one which melted everyone's cold heart.
She closed her eyes and their time was played where he was feeding his sick little bestfriend sister. She again closed them and it was his eyes that held all the sorrows in them.
Soon sat down and cried...cried and cried...loud and noisy trying to empty the grief of these four days.she wake up thinking about them by making days turn into nights and night to day...
This bitter repetitive process without them both...
She was sitting there crying her heart out not caring how others would react , though they never reacted these days , without knowing how some one was looking at her with so much attention and concern...
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"Y/n?!"
Hearing eunhwas's words was last thing she wanted right now.
"Yes?"
"Where are you going?"
"I have no other place other than library aunty"
As she said it's the only place she has and can find her peace at.though one of its peacefull person is lost.
Maeyoung is nowwhere to be found nor yee joong. Like they melted in the ground.
No matter how much she called her with other co-workers phone , she never answered...
And here she is with the lost of her three important people of her life
"Okay , i will come with you i need to buy something"
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"A-aunty i..."
By her pleading her boss for a day off she knew something was so fishy and now she had nothing to say , like cat got her toungue.her eyes shining cause of the tears she had. Her infront of the hospital was something she never thought they let her be...her head slowly turned to face her.
Like always she managed to be the best person ever for her.
" go before it's late , my niece is the guardsman for taehyung , he will help you get in , now go before anyone doubts you ,mrs han will be back in one hour so don't take that much time."
She said by fastly walking in , explaining her everything.
"I love you aunty..."
She said wanting to ran to the floor she got to know his room is but was stoped by her words
" tell him not only his and jimin's but even mrs han's future will be in their hand so think better"
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Here he is staring at tge black hole of toilet.
His weak knees and shaking hands hardly trying to bear his weight.
After all his vomit , now it was time for his tears to come out.
Suddenly he was sat on the ground as he no longer could stand like that.
His hair was harshly fisted , dark circle under his eyes showing how he barely slept , pale skin showing the way he refues to eat anything and his wounded lips and body which is cause of that fight and....himself...himself cause he learned to do this...learned to hurt himself to calm down
Waiting
He is waiting badly!
don't know what to wait for! Or How long to wait!?
He is waiting for a miracle that maybe this cursed cycle will end!
Have a good day! And may the nights not be so long!
That his hearts start beating!
to turn for the person he was , the person he become after meeting her , the one she wants...
Not the person who only knows how to be bad , the one who brings nothing but misery for himself and all people around him
The person who when he get drown in deep ocean don't know how to swim...
But today he is on stramge state
void of emotion
void of love
free of anger
free of sadness
free of pain
The only thing which is stuck in him is regret.
It's like floating between life and death...
He closed his eyes , so tightly , her pleading could be heared even ehen he covered his ears.
His tears rolled by remebering how he was helpless infront of those people , how he begged jimin to run, to go back and leave it on him but that boy stayed and fight for him till his last breath.
A sob left his mouth...he can't...he can't control himself anymore...she is not coming and he is scared to death that yee joong and his bastard uncle of him have done something to her...
He scared to death to see her crying...
He is scared to death to hear some one hurt jimin in that fucking detention center...
He is tired. Too tired to save himself. too tired to do anything. There is no spark to revive him
He wanna shout , tell every one their place , ready to take all the punishment alone but let those two innocent soul free, he wanna see jimin and y/n happy like tge first day...
But he is scared , scared about them changing their place already , scared about what if they find out about him baterying and hurt y/n like they said...
He miss her the most now.
She was more into herself than before and isn't not paying attention to him Now...in a way he is jealous of her pillow.
He wish that he could at least be her bed so that he could always hold her in his arms..
In his opinion she is not paying attention to him anymore , and she has all the right as he disappoint her in so many things... she is so immersed in problems, that he feels that she is forgetting him...god knows how much he was heart when she left four days ago...though he knows ignoring him was a small punishment but a painfull one from her.
His complaint is because he miss her.
It's not his fault that when some one fall in love, his heart breaks..!
His heart breaks because of her absence.
He want to have the power, no matter hiw pain and problems they have, he would destroy it then throw it away until the end she was his...
But he knows he is just a mere human who right now us scared to even take a step... his days are getting darker and darker...
He is just thinking about how long he hasen't seen her smile
How he wish those time when they had fun like children and she would tease him all day..
how long he hasen't seen her happy and he is dying to see her smile once..he is dying.
He wish he could turn the world according to her wishes, so that he could see how she giggles and hear the sound of her laughter filling his ears..
He wish he could erase the past and tell her to lean on her from now on...
But again he just feel that there is nothing he can do...
He was all drown in his thoughts untill the door got open.looked over to the clock and saw it's the time for his food.
Lazily looked over to door only to see her...
The one he missed so much , the one he was waiting all these days...the one he is ready to die only to see her smile...
This girl is the end of him and he knows it so good.
Her face was soulless like before but her eyes was filled with the same love , fear , care and those damn tears...the one he wants to destroy so badly...but right now he is too shocked to even move...
He was dying to see her but he knew so good with the guards standing next to door it's not easy for anyone to just enter...
She without any words just steped closer to him , sitting right infront of him and placed the tray of hospital shitty food on the ground...
Unlike all other times he wasn't staring at her but at ground...he doesn't have the courge to look at her , a shed of tear and he surly will die from inside.
No matter how much he was complaining that he missed her but now he can't even look at her anymore , it reminds him the pain she while begging him to stop , to don't leave her alone.
A good amount of time passed by silence.
He watched her as she took spoon full of foods near his mouth...his full of regret eyes slowly fell on her as she was watching him concernly. As he opened his mouth to talk she feed him. Slowly chewed the food but now staring at her , the more he stare the more he miss her...can't they just hug each other, without any question and answer,regardless of their circumstance...
After a while he stoped her for feeding him
"Y/n i---"
"How could you starve yourself even by knowing your right now state."
A large and deep knife scare was from his shoulder to his elbow , passing from middle of those two moles which they would always consider it as elephant.
Bones of his head nearlly broken cause of the harsh fight and cheeks all bruised up for all the punches.
Even at this state he ignored taking care of himself.
He sighed seeing her sad eyes , wanted to start explaining but he was stopped by her again
"Butterfly---"
"Are you satisfied with its end taehyung?!
Was the prise pleasurable?"
It wasn't hard to feel her mocking tone , yet he only lowered his head while she stood up walking here to there , her habbit when she is too angry , sad and anxious...
"From the very first i was scared for this moment..."
She said making a fist as her tears made a waterfall
"When you two were thinking about money i was thinking about your safety , about that god damn community"
Her voice got a bit louder though she was trying hard to not shout...
His existence was dyinh bit by bit, her tears did their work so well.
His feet made his way towards her , slowly hugging her tiny body from back but his arms was jerked so harshly.
At this moment his heart broke so badly , she successfully scratched his cracked heart...his soul.
But it's not like she is all fine...she is just like withered flower which will be destroyed by a slight wind...
"I made everything possible.I did everything to help you feel less alone. I spent a lifetime looking for things that make you happy and I tried to do them all one by one just to see your smile for a moment. I told you that I care about you and that I will give my all for the people who are important to me. I came forward a hundred times just to prove that my life has no meaning without you two and that you are very valuable to me. now, if you are not in the place i wanted, I am not sad "
She said by looking straight at his tearfull eyes...harshly wiped her tears and continued
"and I do not even have a guilty feeling. I did everything I could and I waited for you to see how you would prove yourself , and You prove by leaving. You have proven that you do not deserve even a moment of my attention---"
"Don't...don't say this..."
He said lowering his head , firmly hold her waist , placing his forhead on her. His tears gently falling on her cheek as she closed his eyes by feeling his touch , the one she longed for
"I ran and ran, I tried so hard to find solution, I stood in front of you and every time I blocked you in some way, I was ready to cross each and every red line and let you make a person out of me that is 100% your taste, the one you want. But instead of all these useless things, I just could do one thing, go and not look behind me anymore, whatever happened or didn't happen, even forget your name and don't even think about keeping you---"
"SHUT UP Y/N... shut up!"
She didn't flinched nor she got scared , she only stood and watched him , letting him calming himself down by hugging her cause she knows behind his mask of indifference is unlimited misery and behind the apparent indifference is despair.
"For god sake don't say these..."
He silently sobbed in the crook of her neck.
At this moment he is ready to give his whole life just to ask God, why?
Why do you give us things or people that are important to us, then you take them away?
Why did you start this game? Why do we all have to run in our lives? run and not reach, run to end up with nothing? Why should we suffer for a few months instead of being happy for a few days? what is your goal ,Why did you do this even though you knew it was going to happen? Why did you create this labyrinth so that we all look for the right way in the hope that we will reach the end? While there is no end...
His breathing turned to normal as she start caressing his back.he hugged her tighter , so tight to feel her against him , so tight that she can't get away...
"what you want me to say?say it will be fixed? It's morning and and the sun is shining on this rough darkness you're stuck in? say wait , endure and hope for a miracle? say that the night will not last and the army of pains will be defeated?
Not this time! I want to say get up, take your torch of awareness and hope and walk in the heart of this darkness. I want you to look for the light yourself and wake up the sleeping sun of your world. I want you to move and leave nothing to the passage of time! I want you to gather all your courage and take the rest of your hope and walk. If the night was continuous, if the the sun was far away, you should reach the light before winter."
"I can't---"
" you can!"
He stared at her angry eyes. She was never this much angry.his face was tightly between her hands as she was looking at him , though she was crying still she managed to be strong.
He also harshly wiped his eyes , here she is so strong for him but again he is weak as hell.
" kim taehyung there is only one way and you clearly know what is it---"
" i won't give them the address y/n"
"You fucking will"
"I won't fucking give them , no matter how much you say"
" why are you so cruel?!"
She said helplessly , pain was all over her face as she said that...but he is not cruel, he is just worry to death for her safety tgat he doesn't wanna take a little risk.
"I'm not---"
" yes you are...you are so cruel that you bear seeing how i suffer every second , so cruel to bear jimin being in detention center, for making something that will cause you two to be kicked out amd mrs han losing her job,you are not only cruel but an asshole for leaving me alone , for always chosing the worst way though i always show you tge better way..."
She kept nagging and coursing but he was only standing , admiring how she is pretty from both inside and outside...
Adore her as much as he could and secretly smiling at how she cared for him.
But the thing she doesn't know is he us ready to put every one in danger for her , and even his right now self would warn his four days ago self , he would do it all again...if it be about her safety he will do anything without any hesitation.
'The love that was surrounded by poisonous ivy was my love for you, the love of my inner Romeo for Juliet...
The love that even after you are gone, even after sucking the sap of my existence, still lives with strength...
A love that didn't kill many people like in the story, but it killed me many times and brought me back to life with the thought of you. Your love made me a phoenix to catch fire every time and live again from my ashes and see that you are still not for me...
Being in love with you is a road to the moon, running and not reaching...
My Juliet, distance and dream but still the closest feeling to my heart'
He whispered his unsaid words to his heart , to his repository of secrets , but he was back to his sence when his cheeks was touched by her soft delicate hands.
Here is her waterfall eyes again
"Kim taehyung..."
He never understand why his simple name sounds so good when she call him
" yes my metanoia..."
" please tell them taehyung...i swear i can't bear these pain any more...my heart want to give up...i can't just close my eyes on you or jimin , i can't ignore your pain but at the same time i'm able of nothing , please free yourself from this shit"
How hard it was to see her like these.her crying so hard in the way that breathing is hard while he caress her back staring at nowhere with his cracked heart
"P-please---"
"Promise me you won't come out of orphanage till everything is okay...till i come back..."
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"C-can you please help me,please o have to contact my brother"
Here she is standing next to eunhwa pleading her niece , but all he could do was shaking his head sadly
"I wish i could but it will cause me so much trouble , letting you meet that bot was all i could do...sorry..."
She sighed sadly , but still she was somehow relived...he agreed to talk to police which means it will solve half of problems...but she wanna talk to her jimini too , god knows in what state he is right now...she wanna hear his voice , give him this news that he can open his mouth and talk to polices , or atleast give him some warm words , to make him feel he is not forgotten , to remind him his sister misses him like a crazy person
"But don't worry , i can tell my co workers to don't be harsh on him , also after taehyung give the information everything will be fine , but only if they find them..."
She sighed nodding her head , heading back to home with eunhwa trying to lught her mood up.but by what she said she was so shocked
"Can you wait on the way , i have to resign from my work"
"Have you gone crazy?!"
" i'll explain you later aunty..."
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Another three days passed , though it was so stressful with sleepless night but after seeing the news on newspaper it was like the heavy weight on her shoulder was throwen away...
She screamed in happiness hugging jaehyun who was carefuly reading the left over lines with joy. Tears of happiness made their way...finally some happy moment...she had forgot how it felt to be happy...
Finally they were arrested
Hopefully they will be here today afternoon.now it's clear why mrs han had an ear to ear smile yesterday.
Her dancing moment was distrubed by the door geting open , seeing eunhwa she happily shake off her body to her , her laughter filling the room...her laughter , the one everybody longed for.
But eunhwa's face wasn't the one she expected
" y/n can you come with me "
" is something wrong? "
"There are a couple...who wants to see you..."
Not only her but jaehyun's eyes also turned wide open.
This life like to snatch everything from her...from her parents to her happiness.
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Her crying was muffled as she dig her head in mrs han hold.
Eunhwa watched as she was nearly passing out due to her hard cry.
These two woman both had tears in their eyes , not knowing how she will be sad of this news.
It's all the orphans wish to be accepted by a couple but why she is acting like that...
Though this question answer was clear for eunhwa but not mrs han
"W-why?...WHY DID YOU DO THAT"
"Y/n dear they are the best people who came here , and they were the one who was ready to accept you as their child not having any issues by your age---"
" i-i don't want it I DON'T WANT THEM , I DON'T WANT ANY PARENTS"
She screamed her lungs out , crying hardly by falling on her knees cause of the shock that entered her body.
She wished she could do something for her...in her opinion she just wanted to give the best to these little girl before she go as she was the only one who beared all these pain from her childhood...anyway she was the kid who had special place in every ones heart.
Only if she knew her reaction would be this.
Her legs was cought by her , her tears was soaking the ground , if she continue there willl definitely turn to a pool
" i beg you...i-i beg you to stop this contract...i beg you to stop this , mrs han i don't wanna go from here"
"I'm so sorry..."
She was sorry cause she couldn't do anything...the woman had admired her alot , saying she knows her from library , they looked like good people , and also the law say for breaking the contract , the one who brake should pay a fine , which is a big amount of money.
After saying sorry she left there ,leaving the broken soul with her aunty who can't solve her problem , only can hug her and caress her soft hair...
No matter how she always try to ignore this matter but life never left a chance about how bitch it can be with them...
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Home...finally they are back home
Where it's safe , where you can breath care free , where you don't feel being extra...
They both looked at each other , a slight smile was placed on their lips , by a gentl tap on their back which was given by mrs han both of them got out from the car.
Just a step in the yard and all the children were shouting their name by running towards them hugging them and confessing how much they misses them.
Every one were here , but the person they both came back for...
"Please never ever leave us again"
Again they both made eye contact but this time their eyes was drowned in sadness.
They wish they could but the main punishment is left.
"Okay guys , let them free , they need to rest"
By mrs han words all of them backed off like obedient soldiers as three of them start walking towards the building.
"Come to my office"
"Can't we come after chang---"
"No"
She strickly answered and fastened her speed in walking.
By seeing jaehyun running tiwards them with open arms they both stoped , not wanting to fall cause of a hard bang.
Soon they both were hugged tightly by the little boy but instead of sweet words he was coursing them and saying hiw much he hate them...being the little brother of y/n had effected him a lot.
"Where is she?"
"In her room"
The hesitation he had was clear for them but before they could ask anything they heared mrs han yelling for them...
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.
He is searching , here and there and every where that comes to his mind.
She is not in her room , nor bathroom , tv room , baby's room , or with her friends , nor back yard, not even on the tree...jimin almost panicked as he left as soon as possibale to the library in hope she would be there.
Their secret place was his last hope.
He ran and ran by his heart pounding loudly, opened the door to see no one , again , there was only some old furniture drown in dirts...their painting was still stick to the wall which bring so many memorise for him , memories that make him doubtful that if he can make any happy moments with her again or not...
His eyes turned to look out of the window , where would she be at this time in evening.
His long tears slipped from his eyes which caused him to close his eyes harshly...such a weak he is without her...
"You are just waisting your time..."
By her voice he without a waste of time turned to her, eunhwa was standing with laundry basket in her hands...why every one look so hopeless today...
"You know where she is?"
His broken voice let out the words as she nodded her head
"Just go to the nearest cemetery "
.
.
.
'mom!
I'm tired.
Mom, come hug your baby.
my soul is hurting.
Mom, I feel like I'm on fire.
I feel i'm torn to pieces.
I feel like someone is digging my heart.
I feel pain flowing in my veins instead of blood.
Dad, come sit next to me, put my head on your lap.
Let me sleep slowly, calm me down, I am no longer ready for life's torture let me sleep, let this torment be over.'
She is here , next to their graves , crying her heart out with her weak self, she's tired, her knees bent, hands trembling, broken voice,teary eyes, wet cheeks became and a broken heart she is sitting there...
Her words took on the color of fear and anxiety, mind become confused, body froze, and head felt pain from the onslaught of thoughts and imaginations. Her soul was tired, there was no shoulder to cry ,her dreams turns to nightmares and the roof of her wishes collapsed on her...
" you are the best person to stop my heart beat , you know it butterfly?"
He tightly hugged her from back following by her gasp.
"Taehyung..."
"I told you to remeber , remember that exactly when none of them understood what you said, didn't calm you down , or did not hold your cold hands in their warm one, hug you, sing a lullaby to you, or support your suffering state, right where they didn't die for your eyes, didn't stick the big and small broken pieces of your heart together, remeber that I am here..."
He gently losen his tight hold and turned her towards himself , facing her...
Softly kissed her tears away and placed his chin on her head
" but my metanoia is much more stubborn than me..."
It's like her mouth is locked, she can't tell anyone anything about it, she doesn't want anyone to talk about it at all, it's ridiculous to explain when there's nothing they can do for her...so just like always,like all these she will hide it with her smile
Smiles can hide so many things like fear, pain, sadness, tears.
But than again they reflect one thing: strength...
Her tearful eyes fell over him and hugged him gently , like he is a diamond and will get hurt if she tight her hold.
She breathe his sense , his calming smell that always prove her he is here with her , prove she is safe , she is loved...
" you're back..."
She breathed out , whispering it while her tears shed one by one.
" oh god , you are really back..."
She said tightening her arms around him...
He is the last remnant of her happiness, she wanna stay for him and make him stsy for her. Everything she loved was not hers and everyone she loved didn't last.she learned to let go of people , happiness and accept that many things cannot be changed. But he is different, she need him, she need him to be good, to sleep earlier at night and wake up earlier in the morning. To pay attention to herself, because of him she will try harder and become more successful. She need him In order not to understand the pain and sadness of the society...she loves him , loves him too much that she can't survive without him...she doesn't want to survive if he won't be with her.
"I'm back and i'm here for you , empty the sorrow from your heart now metanoia , i'm here for you..."
"I'm okay...you and jimin are back and there is no sorrow anymore..."
His cold eyes glared at her , how dare she try to lie to Him...is he dumb in her pov?
"Metanoia---"
"I just missed them , and you two...i'm sorry for hiding myself and not welcoming you..."
His eyes softened by hearing her words , again he hugged her , just like always so tight,they hug each other soul so tightly in the surrounding commotion that peace flows in their veins
And it made them to stay away from the whole world because of each other, because of being with each other.. and it is enough! They won't need anything else If they always stay like this...
"I don't know how exactly you felt at that time, but for me the story of you and me started from the deepest point of darkness; Where there was no hope, where I had lost my soul, I had no heart to beat."
He said while they slowly started moving , a light dance with an unknown rythem.he left a light peck on her forhead looking at her closed eyes...he doesn't know he always left a kiss on her soul
"And you? You came and created light between the brokenness of my soul. You became the glue that connect the pieces of my soul, you became the heart that I can live with. With you, I never felt incomplete, I never felt that I didn't belong somewhere, that I wanted to run away from everything. You were never like other people, you were not pain."
Breathing was hard for this girl now...his words was sweet as honey but it gaves her gosebumps all over body...
But she didn't know his next words will make her breath hitch.
"Will you give back my notebook now..."
He knows...he knows and she doesn't want it...with him caressing her wet cheek she slowly opened her eyes but breathing was again hard for her as she met his soft eyes gazing her soul
" now that i'm back , i need to write about my emotions...about taebear and metanoia"
She can't anymore...slowly sobbed and he dig her head in his chest leaving bunch of pecks on her head. Slowly caressed her back not forgeting to wipe her percious tears...
"We will be going to capital to see the community in two days"
Will he let her live for a moment?or he wanna kill her with his words.
As her crying got harder he hugged her tighter , though it's not possible as they are already hugging each other so close.
" wait for me...please wait for me...i don't know if it would take days months or years but i want you to wait for me....You were always the reason for me to be happy,to smile, to know that you are here as a light in this darkness.But what about you? Am I someone who makes you feel good? Do you want to rely on me and be happy that I am here for you in any situation?"
She nodded without any hesitation.
He smiled ear by ear...why yhis girl is so adorable , he will die one day if she don't stop being cute , his heart can't handle this fast beats.
"Aww my butterfly , don't cry , i told you, your tears are so precious but when they are for your happiness...now smile"
He took her face between his hands, soon there was a cold drop on their face which was cause of the rain...his smile turned wider
" look , it's even raining , in summer , it definitely a sign for us , it means light in darkness, hope in the worst...everything will be alright metanoia"
He said placing their forheads on eachother.their body was getting wet under the rain...He tells ber not to worry, everything will be fine sooner than she think.she also gives the most hopeless smile in the world.she knows that nothing going to be right...but she smiles , smile and hide her pain...
"I SWEAR TO GOD , I WILL KILL YOU BOTH , I WILL FUCKING CHOKE YOU FOR NOT SAYING ME WHERE SHE IS AND FUCKING LOCK YOU IN YOUR ROOM SO THIS SHITTY IDEA OF RUNNING AWAY WON'T COME TO YOUR LITTLE MIND EVER AGAIN"
They flinched hardly by nonother than jimin's shouts.looked towards him seeing how he was taking big and firm steos towards them , though it was raining his tears was clear , all over his body soaked by this rain.he hardly glared at taehyung throwing umbrella at him after pulling her towards himself.
"Calm down---"
"Shut up"
Annoying angry park jimin is a good reason to be murdred so he just stayed quiet , knowing how much he must be worried as he himself is worser than him.
"And you..."
He turned to y/n , talking by pointing her.didn't take a long moment for his tears to fall and get a hug by her...
"I won't forgive you if you again do this..."
She sadly smiled...though she is withering of pain...
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I think it is the longest chapter till now.
Please ignore my misspeling and grammar problems.
Thank you so much for your beautiful coments on last chapter...
Hope you enjoyed this part and again like always vote and coment if you did...
I'm waiting for your energetic support♡