Won't Hold Back (COMPLETED)

By xoloviexo

13.9K 510 414

A description wouldn't do this story justice. It's about love, life, and family. This is a no judgment zone... More

Intro
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9: Part 1
Chapter 9: Part 2
Chapter 9: Part 3
Chapter 9: Part 4
Chapter 10

Chapter 3

1.2K 42 65
By xoloviexo

PRESENT DAY
2026

Kierra's POV

As Krista and I continued catching up in the car, I grabbed us some food as well as some for E. The kids are in school so I didn't need to worry about them. We pulled up at the house and I parked the car.

I took my time getting out of the car and huffed. I rubbed my belly and leaned over to grab the food and my purse.

"Honey get these keys and grab the drinks for me. I walked around to Krista's side of the car and her eyes bulked out.

"Whoa Mama! Your stomach is so huge now!" She exclaimed. I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, baby boy is growing so fast. I'm ready to get him out." I said.

She unlocked the front door and I immediately went to place the food down on the kitchen island so I could pee. Baby boy feels as if he's playing soccer right now on my bladder. After using the bathroom and washing my hands, I saw Krista's bags in the foyer and the front door locked. I went back in the kitchen and saw her already eating.

"You seen Mommy yet?" I asked. I grabbed one of her fries and sat beside her to eat my food.

"Nope. I wanted to eat my food quietly before she bum rushed me." She said. I laughed and shook my head.

We ate our food quietly and threw our trash away. I placed E's food in the fridge so she could eat it later.

"Go ahead and get settled and I'll see what Moe is up to." I told her.

I used the elevator to go up to the bedroom and saw Moe knocked out in our bed. I climbed into the bed and she immediately turned her body and snuggled up against me.

"Hey Mamas. How long you been asleep?" I kissed her forehead as she kept her eyes closed.

"Not for long. You know I can't sleep without you." She began rubbing my belly as I continued giving her soft kisses.

"I'm surprised you didn't rush downstairs to greet Kris." I told her.

"Oh I will but I'm too tired. The kids gave me a hard time getting ready for school and almost made me late for the radio show." She said.

"I still think it's time for us to get a nanny. We're not superwomen Moe. Three kids plus the one on the way?" She opened her eyes to see how serious I was. She didn't respond, only lifting my shirt up to see my big belly.

"Hi son son. You giving Mommy a hard time in there. Look at you moving all around." We smiled as we saw the baby's foot print against my skin.

"Mama needs to stop talking because he only moves so much when he hears your voice." I said throwing daggers at her. "And we're going to discuss the Nanny thing sooner rather than later E."

E ignored me and talked to the baby some more and bent down to give my stomach kisses.

"I can't believe we're going to have 5 kids total." I said.

"Me neither. Thank you for carrying our baby girl and now our son Ki." She looked up at me smiling.

"Of course wifey. You know in the car Krista asked me how I felt about our Essence shoot tomorrow, basically saying it's brave of us to go through it." I said.

"Yeah, I'm too grown to still be worrying about people's opinion of me and I know you are too." She said.

"True. I know our families will have a field day about it. Can't believe a big chunk of our families still don't know about us, especially about our little ones. We're kinda dope for remaining private after all these years." I said.

"Trust me, it's best they didn't. Could you imagine trying to explain to your COGIC family all of this." She said laughing. I rolled my eyes. It's best I don't even think about COGIC and just my Detroit family in general.

Ever since I left Detroit and started living my life, my relationship with a lot of my friends and family back home have dwindled. Do I miss them? Of course I do but I couldn't miss out on the life I have built with E. Let's not even get into me coming out to my parents and aunties. They bout damn near drowned me in holy oil. It took some time, actually years for my parents to come around to us, but I'm glad they did. They love all of their grandkids.

As far as E's side of the family, that's a whole 'nother drama that we'll probably get into a little bit with Essence.

"Enough about all that. How about we nap until it's time to pick up the kids and then we'll figure out dinner. We can have Krista pick since she's home." I suggested.

"Okay, you know she's going to pick Benihana's like she always does." E said as she wrapped her arms across my belly. We both laughed because that was true. We were all kinda creatures of habit when it came to food. We hardly went to new restaurants.

~~~~
Next Day, Saturday
Erica's POV
7am

The alarm blasted loudly on my phone and I hurriedly turned it off. I knew the Essence crew would be coming around 9am to start prepping the house and I needed to get everyone up.

Ki isn't a morning person so I'll let her sleep for another 20 minutes as I get myself and the kids ready.

I took a shower, shaved everywhere, and washed my hair. I detangled my hair and put it in a top knot bun to let it somewhat air dry. After brushing my teeth, I completed my skin care routine and lotioned my body before placing sweats and a tank top on.

I went ahead and laid Ki's sweatpants & tee on the foot of our bed and went to wake her up. She's a heavy sleeper and it's never an easy feat.

"Ki baby, c'mon get up." I shook her, which is the gentle approach to getting her up and of course she didn't stir.

"Kiiii, wake up honey. I got something special for you." I sung into her ear. She stirred a bit and hugged into the pillow more.

"I'm taking you shopping." I said louder in her ear. She immediately popped up and woke up.

"Now that's a shame." I shook my head and watched her focus her eyes on me.

"Morning baby." I placed my hand on the side of her face.

"Morning babe." She said in her husky morning voice that I loved so much. "We're going shopping?" She added.

"Yeah baby, after we're done with Essence this weekend I'll take you first thing Monday." I told her. I kissed her cheek and rubbed my baby's belly. I knew not to say anything to our son because that'll rile him up and I didn't feel like getting yelled at.

"Go get ready and I'll get the kids up. Your clothes is already laid out." I told her.

"Thanks Moe." I watched closely as she took her time getting up from the bed to make sure she was okay. This pregnancy is draining a lot of her energy so I like to make sure she's doing the bare minimum at all times. Once she closed the bathroom door, I made my way to the kids wing.

I like to wake up the easiest kids first so the order went: Wozy (16), Krista (21), Zaya (14), and then our baby girl Kai (5). Kai Valencia was born on September 4th during the pandemic and is the princess of the house. She's me and Ki's first child together and truly spoiled rotten. She's the perfect shade of brown, just like my Krista Nicole, and has the cutest voice as if she belonged on an animated Disney show. Her birthday is the same day as Beyoncé, who's become a close friend of ours ever since we moved to Atlanta, so she's Kai's Godmother.

I opened Wozy's door and took off his headphones that blasted God knows what in his ears and woke him up. He immediately got up and went towards the bathroom.

Next was Krista and surprisingly her door was already open and I could hear her singing in the hall bathroom. I went a ways down to Zaya and Kai's room. They didn't share rooms but had a Jack & Jill setup where their rooms were connected to a bathroom.

I decided to get Kai up first since it's easier to get her washed up so that Zaya could have the bathroom all to herself.

"KaiKai, time to wake up honey." I turned her light on and bent down to give her a few kisses.

"Mama!!" She woke up and started laughing, trying to get away from my tickles and kisses.

"It's time to wake up." I told her.

"Where's Mommy?" She looked around for Kierra. "We'll see her once you get dressed now c'mon & get up." I stood up and she immediately stretched out her arms.

"Mama up" she commanded. Kai's the only one out the bunch that calls me Mama while the others call me Mommy.

Normally I would make her walk and not baby her, but I wanted to rush the process faster this morning and I didn't mind babying her today. I picked her up and placed her on the bathroom counter. I turned the faucet on and watched her add the toothpaste on her toothbrush.

While she brushed her teeth, I washed her face and smelled under her arms. Don't judge me, she took a bath last night and I really didn't have time to bathe her again. She still smelled clean so I added a little deodorant under her arms and lotioned her up. I watched her switch her pajamas to a cute romper set and she was good to go.

"Go get your hair stuff and go to me and Mommy's room. Turn the TV on and sit down, okay?" I told her.

"Okay Mama." She ran out of the bathroom to get the hair stuff. While she did that, I opened the connecting door and walked into Zaya's room.

"Zaya, get up. You're the last one not up." I turned her light on and she didn't flinch. I snatched the covers off her bed and I knew she caught a chill.

"Girl what I tell you about putting some clothes on. You gonna catch a cold in these sports bras and booty shorts." I complained.

"C'mon Mommy, turn my light off." She shielded her eyes and stuck her head into the pillows. I snatched that too as she groaned.

"Zaya Monique, get up. I'm not gonna come back in here fooling around with you. If I don't hear that water running, imma have Ki come in here and you know she's heavy handed." I threatened. She instantly got up and lazily walked into her bathroom.

Once I heard the shower running, I headed back to my room. I saw Kai laying on the bed watching TV and saw our bathroom door opened.

"Baby you almost dressed?" I said walking fully into the bathroom. I softly laughed at the sight in front of me.

Ki was struggling to put her bra on. She couldn't twist it around due to her belly being in the way. She looked through the mirror at me and puffed out her cheeks.

"Stop laughing Erica! Come help me." She fussed. I went towards her and gave her a kiss on her shoulder before helping her from behind. I turned her around so that she'll be facing me.

"You're so pretty honey." I told her. She blushed and rolled her eyes.

"Don't kiss up now after you laughed at me." She said.

"I mean it forreal. You're so gorgeous and carrying our son is making you glow even more. Give me kisses." I puckered my lips and she kissed me back without question.

"You need help with your pants?" I asked. I moved her hair away from her face and gave her a once over.

"No I got it Mamas. Thank you though. Are you doing baby girl's hair or me?" She asked.

"I am, you just finish getting ready and please wear some slides or slippers. You don't need to put on real shoes while they prep the house." I replied. She can overdue it sometimes with her outfits and shoes but lately I didn't want her bending down too much.

I went to get started on KaiKai's hair and noticed that it was almost 8:30. I felt like we're making good on time. I don't cook breakfast on weekends so the big kids knew to eat cereal or whatever was in the kitchen.

After doing baby girl's hair, I told her to get Zay or Kris to fix her breakfast and went to take down my own hair from the bun and blow dry it out. Me and Ki already knew how hair, makeup, and wardrobe would style us today. All we had to do was be prepared for the wigs we'd be in and out of.

After putting on my Adidas slides, I met my family downstairs and did a final sweep of the house.

~~~~
The crew started showing up and because this was an important magazine issue, NDAs were handed to every single person from Essence. Also phones were confiscated as soon as they came into our residence.

They'll not only be seeing my family's interaction up close and personal, but see Ki's pregnancy & our daughter who's never been shown to the public. They probably think this is just some regular shoot but they're in for a total surprise.

Currently, the glam squad are in our downstairs guest room working on Krista's makeup and mine & Ki's hair and makeup.

"Hello Mrs. Erica & Mrs. Kierra. Thank you so much for having Essence inside your beautiful home. I'm Quinn, the creative director, working alongside you two and please let us know how we should address you both throughout the shoot & we will relay it to the crew." She spoke.

"Just Kierra and Erica is fine. Nice to meet you Quinn." Ki spoke on our behalf.

We were also greeted by the rest of the creative team & the video producers who would shoot the BTS & our interview portion.

"Nice to meet you too. We're all big fans of the both of you. So I just wanted to go over the rundown of today. Our first look will be in the kitchen where you two are cooking and just being playful with the food. The next shot is the two of you in the living room together and then separately. After that is a wardrobe change for the backyard shots with your family & then we break for lunch. The kids will be done after lunch but we would like for Krista to answer a few questions during the interview part this afternoon." She said.

We took in all of the information surrounding the schedule for the day and it didn't seem like it'd be too jam packed.

"Okay thank you and what time is Michelle arriving for the interview?" I asked.

"She's expected to arrive at 2pm." She responded.

"Okay great. Thank you Quinn." I said.

"Anytime, we'll call once the first shot is ready." She said her goodbyes and left the room.

For our interview, we picked our dearest friend Michelle Williams to interview us. She's known about our relationship since the very beginning & in fact, officiated our wedding. She's our best friend and not only does she support us, she's been secretly dating Beyoncé for the past 4 years. The world doesn't know about them at all due to the magnitude of their fame & it's probably best that the don't know.

Time passed and Krista has since left the glam room, and I was almost finished with makeup. Kierra was already finished but stuck around to wait for me. I heard little pitter patter feet and immediately knew it'd be Kai coming in.

"MAMA!" Kai came rushing up to my chair, almost running into the makeup artist working on my face.

"Kai Valencia, you know not to run. You gotta be more careful honey." I said.

All of the glam team gushed at Kai, and I could see they all had shocked faces but quickly masked it. The makeup artist working on my face stood back a bit so Kai could climb into my lap.

"Sorry Mama. I wanna get my makeup done like Krissy." She said, referring to Krista.

"You too little for makeup KaiKai. How about lipgloss and a little blush." I looked at the makeup artist and she happily obliged. Kai really didn't know if she was getting full makeup on or not—she just wanted to be in the chair and have brushes on her face.

It didn't even take a full 2 minutes for her "makeup" to be finished and Kai looked so cute with her glossy lips and pink blush.

"Ooh you look so pretty!" I exclaimed.

"I look like Mommy!" She said excitedly. "Mommy look!" She turned to Ki and she matched her energy.

"You do look like me PoohBear! We twinning!" Ki sung obnoxiously. Everyone in the room laughed.

Kai stayed in my lap for a few until she got bored and left out.

"Okay ladies, time for the first outfit and we're ready for the kitchen scene." Quinn peeked her head into the room to announce.

~~~
Kierra's POV

We were wrapping E's solo pics before it was time for us to break for lunch. One of the production assistants mentioned passing by a parking lot on their way to our home and wanted E to get a few impromptu shots there. Only the necessary people rode up there, including me since I was co-creative director. E was adamant that I remain seated in the production van, so I wouldn't be standing for too long and I happily sat in the AC.

My baby looked so good in her outfit. She never wears blonde hair this light but the platinum color was looking good on her.

I loved all of my looks from today and was super thankful the Essence team chose outfits and poses to help mask my pregnancy. We wanted to announce about our baby once the issue goes live in a few months. The crew was so sweet to shoot a couple of maternity style shots of us dressed in denim and white with my belly out.

The kids also did well in our family backyard shots and we had no issues whatsoever throughout the shoot.

"Alright, that's a wrap on the photos! Let's break for lunch for an hour & radio the crew at the house about it." Quinn announced to the crew.

E walked over to me and opened the door.

"Baby how did I do?" She asked me.

"Mamas, if we didn't have to do the interview after lunch, I would take you to our bedroom to show you just how good you looked posing." I said lowly.

"Babe! You know what that does to me when you talk like that." She said, placing her arms around my neck. I pecked her lips multiple times in a row. She looked at me adoringly.

"I love you." I said.

"I love you more KiKi." She climbed into the van and we talked until the crew packed everything back and drove us back home.

E helped me down the van's steps and we walked side by side into our home.

"Let me take these heels off so I can feed you and my son." She took my hand into hers and led us back to the glam room.

She quickly switched her shoes into a pair of fuzzy slippers and we walked into the dining room. She pulled out my seat and left to get our food. At the table were three people from glam, Quinn & another person from the creative team. Everyone else were spread out in the kitchen and our backyard since we had lots of shaded area & patio seating. I'm sure Krista, Wozy & Zaya were probably back in their rooms with Kai somewhere bothering them.

Everyone talked and ate amongst themselves at the table while I kept busy on my phone. I'm not sure if I gave off energy that I didn't want to be bothered, but I didn't mind if they talked to me. I guess they probably figured not to bother the talent but me and E aren't like that. We talk to any and everybody.

"Here baby. I got you a little bit of everything." E said walking into the room with our plates and two bottles of water underneath her arms.

"Thanks Mamas. Come here." She sat my plate & drink down and bent down to give me a quick kiss. She sat next to me and held my hands as I said a quick prayer over the food. She tried to let go of holding my hands but I wanted to still hold onto one as we ate.

Call me clingy but I don't care. With this pregnancy, I've been more clingy than ever but E never complained. She happily catered to my every need and want and always showered me with love. She's truly the most selfless person I know.

It got quiet pretty quick and we both looked away from each other, so consumed in our own little world, and saw the crew just looking at us.

"What's wrong? Why y'all looking at us like that?" I asked self consciously.

"Sorry, we don't mean to be rude to just stare but you two are so cute together." Quinn spoke up for the table.

"Aww well thank you." E and I said at the same time.

"See! Just that right there. It's so cute how y'all are so in sync with one another and we can see the love you two have for each other." One of the hair stylists said.

"Thank you sweetie. It definitely took us a long time to find our groove in our relationship but we've been at it for 9 years so we got it down packed." E said. All of their faces dropped and I assumed it was because she mentioned how long we've been together. It made us laugh.

"9 years! Lawd this is the biggest, best kept secret ever. When I say we are ALL fans of you two and had no clue y'all were together, this is so crazy. Sorry if it seems like we're gawking over you." Another stylist said.

I could only laugh and smile.

"It's truly okay. We totally get it, that's why we're cracking up at y'all facial expressions. We're very private people so it wasn't as hard to keep our business in tact, especially living here in Atlanta." I said.

"Right. If we lived in another city like L.A. or New York, it might've been harder but we know how to live our life without getting caught up in the fame of it all." E said. They nodded their heads and asked us a few more questions that weren't invasive. We didn't mind answering as we ate our food.

I mean look at my wife, she's a freaking radio host so she loves this kinda thing. For me, I could have a full on conversation with a rock and make it seem like I'm talking to Oprah so I'm right there with her.

After finishing our food, one of the ladies offered to throw our plates away while we were whisked away to change into new outfits for our talk portion. Me & E went ahead and brushed & flossed our teeth again before getting dressed. We didn't want funky breath when we sat down with Michelle.

Fifteen minutes later we were walking to our sitting room and was greeted by the amazing Michelle Williams.

"Besties!" Michelle exclaimed as she gave us a big group hug.

"How's my baby doing in there?" She asked as she rubbed my belly.

"Doing alright, driving Mommy crazy." I replied back laughing.

The crew, which consisted of mostly Black women, cooed at the scene.

"Alright ladies, let's get settled and started shall we." Quinn said. We took Michelle's lead and sat down on the couch. She was sitting directly in front of us, with our coffee table separating us.

We were all mic'd and the cameraman counted us down. We knew this would be more of a conversation instead of a typical interview, so we were relaxed. Michelle knew we wanted a "Black Love" type of interview and her questions to be fun and unique.

MW: Okay ladies, first I want to thank you both for choosing me to interview you for this special edition of Essence's Black Music Month celebration.

Erica: We couldn't have chose a better person to interview us.

Kierra: Totally.

MW: What made you two finally decide to address any of the rumors that have swirled around throughout the years and clear the air?

I looked at E before grabbing her hand and interlocking our fingers. I nodded for her to answer.

Erica: Well if there were major rumors about us, we didn't pay it enough attention to address during the time. We're clearing the air now because we're at a point in our lives where we want to move freely in the world without worrying if someone may catch us and put it out on the blogs. We're established in our careers and secure enough within ourselves to take any backlash from the world once they get an insight into our life.

Kierra: Yeah, we've always been private individuals but we now feel ready to let our supporters know the truth.

MW: And what's your truth?

Kierra: The truth is that I'm happily married to the love of my life, my wife Erica Monique Atkins-Sheard.

I smiled as E raised my hand and kissed the back of it. Michelle smiled at the gesture.

MW: Ah yes. My favorite married couple. You've been together for 9 years & married 8 of those years, correct?

Erica: Yes ma'am. You were there to officiate it.

Michelle smirked at E's comment.

MW: I'm just letting the people know. You know I already know every little thing about y'all.

We all laughed.

MW: What happened that switched the relationship from a friendship, almost a sisterhood some would say, to a romantic one?

Erica x Kierra: ATLANTA

MW: Wait, why Atlanta? What's the story behind Atlanta?

Kierra: Well we became really close in 2017 but it was early 2018 when we were both on the same lineup in Atlanta where our relationship shifted. We were getting close as friends but E surprised me and it was something about that hang out moment that made me want to kiss her badly. I just went ahead and did it and the rest is kinda history after that.

MW: So just like that y'all were together?

Erica: Umm yes and no. I was very hesitant because at the time I had been single for over 7 months, and I was afraid of the public knowing that we were seeing each other before we had the chance to see if we could work out. Fortunately I didn't let fear hold me bound to getting to know Ki on a personal level beyond the friendship.

Kierra: It also didn't help that we are two well known Gospel artists and being gay is frowned upon, so we knew the odds were against us from the very beginning.

MW: Did you both know you were attracted to women?

We shook our heads no.

Kierra: I would have girl crushes here and there because I'm a girl's girl at heart but I never acted on anything. We are each other's first, and might I add last experience with a woman. It's just something about E that gravitated me towards her. Of course she's gorgeous, kind, funny, and all the wonderful things we love about her but her heart is what made me fall in love with her. She's the comfort I always wanted in a partner.

Erica: Aww baby that's so sweet of you to say. How you feel about me is exactly how I feel times 10.

I smirked because that's the exact line I told her before our very first kiss.

MW: Did the 15 year age difference impact your relationship?

Erica: At first that worried me a lot. I always felt like she'd lose interest in me and want someone around her own age. I'm older so I've experienced life a little different than she had so I thought she'd easily get bored with me.

Kierra: But I just kept reaffirming my love for her to let her know that I'd never lose interest in her.

Erica: It took a few months but her heart was fully committed so I didn't think about our age difference too much.

MW: On the more fun side of questioning, here's a few rapid fire questions for you two.

MW: Who takes the longest to get dressed?
Erica: Definitely Ki

MW: Who cooks the best?
Kierra: E for sure

MW: Who's quick to apologize first?
Kierra: E is quicker and it takes me longer to accept

We all laughed at my statement.

MW: Who said I love you first?
Erica: Ki said it first

MW: Favorite songs of each other's? Erica you go first.
Erica: For Ki, my favorites are: I Choose You, Won't Hold Back, Invisible and All I Am.

Kierra: She added All I Am in there because she wrote on that song.

E laughed.

Erica: Yeah I did but it really is one of my favorites from you baby.

MW: Okay Ki now your turn.
Kierra: Okay I love her song called "Changes" because she's such a Barbra Streisand fanatic & that song gives it that vibe. My other favorites are: Positive, All I Need Is You, Help, and as a Mary Mary bonus I'll throw in Biggest, Greatest Thing.

MW: How did the kids react to you two dating?

Erica: Oooh, you taking us back down memory lane with that question. Let's see, it was real interesting to say the least.

I started laughing and I knew Michelle wanted all the deets now.

MW: Now you're going to have to spill after that laugh Kierra. Spill the tea for us. Matter fact, let's bring Krista in here so hold on for a moment.

Me and E chuckled at Michelle's antics while the crew paused the taping to get Krista. It didn't take long for her to get her makeup retouched and to reappear in the room.

"Auntie Chelle!" Krista said, greeting her Auntie and sitting right in the middle of us.

"You could've at least said excuse me." E said as she moved over.

MW: Okay so now that Krista is here, let's get back to the question. How did you two break the news to the kids?

I looked at Krista and laughed at bit before finding the right words.

Kierra: Okay, so here's what happened...

*****Comment, VOTE!*****

Quick question: Is this story making sense to y'all? Like, I have a vision in my mind of how the story is unfolding and I hope it's translating well for y'all. It makes sense to me but I want to check the temperature with y'all. Please be honest!

It's a flashback type of story where you're seeing their relationship unfold in real time, while also seeing their blast from the past moments.

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