CINDY
"I'm too casual." I try to tell Levin, but he keeps ushering me toward his car.
"Trust me, you're not."
I know he's talking more so about the way I'm acting, not the way I'm dressed. Not that that would help his case at all. I still glare at him from over my shoulder.
He grunts softly as he lifts me up and helps me in the monster that he drives.
Usually, I'd be inclined to comment about how he straight up grunted and thinks I'm fat, but I'm too focused on how much I want to change to be bothered.
I met Tommy's parents in high school, when I doubted things would ever be too serious. I was so excited to have a boyfriend to care about how long we'd be together.
Meeting your boyfriendy person's parents is so different. I'm not sixteen anymore. In fact, I'm a grown ass woman which just means Levin's family will most likely be expecting someone mature and poised.
I'm in my mid-twenties, and while that isn't saggy-titty old, I'm old enough to be recognized as somewhat of an adult. But I'm going to make jokes about my now pebble-sized bladder and ruin dinner with my fat pregnant ass.
"Levin, maybe we just do this another day! You know I was feeling tired, right? I told you."
He gestures toward my seatbelt, watching as I fasten it.
"Mm-hmm. You texted me. You know you took a nap, right?"
I frown at how terrible his impression of me is. If he's gonna mock me, he can at least pop a hip or something. His performance there just straight up lacked sparkle.
"Stop it. I'm being serious."
He smiles all sweet at me, squeezing my knee and then kissing it as he moves to close my door.
"It's going to be okay, all right? My mom is going to load you up on pregnancy tips and easy craving-satisfying recipes, my dad is going to compliment your nails and pretend he knows anything about how doing them works, my sisters are going to basically jump you and won't stop touching you, and my brother is going to show you a bunch of his sick skateboard trips. And I'll be sad all night that I don't get you all to myself. But while I'm sulking, you'll be having the time of your life. I promise."
That all sounds great. It does. But I've never been a pregnant girlfriend before. Well, I have, but that time doesn't count. My son isn't Levin's kid, and he's about to pop out and I'm meeting Levin's parents, and my grandma hates that I'm not with Tommy anymore. Tommy's mom was a word away from a bitch-slap last time I saw her.
How would his family react to all of me and my kid?
"Promise, promise?"
"Promise, promise. All buckled in?"
I nod and he leans up to kiss me before shutting my door.
My eyes follow him as he walk over to the driver's side.
I really hope he's right, that his family will at least pretend to tolerate me until I inevitabley almost pee myself. His family is obviously everything to him, and if they don't like me, I know I'll be done with.
❄︎❄︎❄︎
Levin's holding my hand extra tight as we walk up to his parents' front door.
I don't know exactly what I was expecting his childhood home to look like, but in my head, I'd pictured some huge house to fit all fifty of his siblings.
The house is smaller than what I expected, one of three houses in a cul-de-sac. It's two (not four) stories and grey and beautiful. I love it.
"You really grew up in there? All of you? How many rooms are there?"
He shrugs casually. "Three."
I blink at him multiple times.
A part of me wants to laugh in his face, but another doesn't want to come across as a raging bitch, so I stare at him until he starts laughing at me.
"I'm kidding! Stop looking at me like that, freak." He says, bringing his arm around my shoulder. "Five rooms, three bathrooms. Growing up, Sarah got her own room and so did I. And then Chris and Mandy shared."
"What about your brother?"
"By the time he came to live with us, half of us were already moved out."
"Oh. Right. That makes sense."
He nudges me teasingly. I'm too busy staring at the door to retaliate.
Levin starts speaking as the door opens, but I'm more focused on how the hell the door is opening in slow motion.
The woman in front of me is blindingly gorgeous. She's got the sweetest looking angel settled on her hip, holding another kid's hand as a smile stretches right across her face.
She squeals loud enough for her mini-me—the one holding her hand—to frown at her.
"Cindy!"
"Uh..." I start, but I don't know which one this is.
"Hey, Chrissy." Levin says from besides me.
I release a breath. "Chris! Yeah, okay. Hi, Chris."
"Hi! Can I hug you? I'm gonna hug you."
It's a little object with her kids basically pressing up against me too, but it's a sweet gesture nonetheles.
"Mom, can I leave now?"
Christina's gaze flicks to the little girl's.
"If you spray Gavin with that nerf gun one more time, it's over for you, little girl." Her mom warns. "And take the baby to Daddy please, Madeline. Don't drop her."
Chris hands the kid over to Madeline, who holds onto the toddler like an absolute pro. She's about to walk away, but Levin takes the baby from his neice.
She turns around to scowl at my boyfriend. "Hey!"
"Little miss, where is my hug?" Levin demands.
She sighs dramatically, rolling her eyes and everything before she wraps her arms around Levin's waist.
And with the baby he's holding and the little girl he's leaning down to kiss on the cheek, I'm going to melt.
I look up just in time to catch Chris smiling at me knowingly. I mouth an OH MY GOD and she laughs at me.
Madeline steps away, crossing her arms defiantly. "Can I go now?"
Levin smiles at her, shooing her. He doesn't give up the baby though, and Madeline doesn't seem to mind. She skips off without another complaint.
"Okay! Come in, come in!"
Chris takes my cardigan from me and hangs it up, ignoring Levin when he offers up his jacket.
My boyfriend leans in close to me, whispering.
"If you get cold, at least I still have mine."
I look up at him. "Oh, so that was stratigic. How your sister just walked right past you?"
"All part of the plan."
I roll my eyes at him, shrugging off his arm so I can follow Christina a little closer.
The whole house is so loud with laughter and people and chaos. Kids are running around, parents are trying to tame the little monsters, and the granparents are trying to calm down the parents.
I almost want to run around, screaming and laughing too. Unfortunately, I'm a little...
"Pregnant! She's pregnant!" An older version of Christina calls out excitedly.
For once, I don't mind that the first thing that's been noticed about me is my huge stomach. Her excitement is intoxicating.
She pulls me in for a hug, and she's instantly my new favorite person.
"It's nice to meet you, ma'am." I feel like a fifteen-year-old boy calling her that, but I don't know what else to say.
"You can all me Eliza, honey."
Levin sighs, smiling softly. "Mom, I told you she was pregnant."
"Oh, I know. It's just... AAH! I'm gonna be a grandma!"
I laugh and Levin's eyes pop out of his head at that last part. It's a sweet thing for her to say seeing as she's just met me, but Levin seems to think it's more like embarrassing.
We've only just started dating, so I understand where the reaction comes from.
"M-mom, you're already a grandma. And the baby's not mine."
"Yeah." I confirm.
His mom kisses her teeth, waving her hand dismissively at him. She pulls me away from Levin to lead me into the family room where seemingly everyone is.
Before we walk into the chaos, she says close to my ear:
"He dates to marry, so even if the baby isn't his now? It will be."
My whole face goes red. Marry? Me and Levin?
I haven't really imagined that. A white dress and a handsome groom. For so long, it was something I had to think on it. The venues and the invitations and the whole marrying part.
When it came to mine and Tommy's engangment, I always felt like it was such a chore. I'd have been fine eloping in Vegas. But thinking about what Levin's mom just said, I actually wouldn't mind all that. The venues, the invitations, the marrying him part.
We just starting doing this whole us thing, so I push the thought aside. It's too early for all of these thoughts. They were put there by someone else, though. Maybe that gives me a pass.
Levin's mom pokes my cheek. "I see that blush, girl."
I try to hide my smile, looking away from her. My eyes catch on Levin not too far behind us.
I expected to find him talking with someone, or maybe for him to be nowhere in sight, but he's just watching me. Smiling at me and making me smile back.
"Come on." I tell him, reaching my hand back so he'll take it.
He does, and we walk into the family room together.
Everyone is dancing or walking around with a drink or yelling over someone else. I love it. I love all of this.
It's not like my family is tiny, but we're not like this. We yell over each other and dance together sometimes, but our chaos is different.
Levin has a family of seven, and I have a family of five—six now, but Eryn showed up pretty late in the game. Late in the game being a couple months ago.
There's all three of his sisters and also his brother, I'm guessing. The one sitting on the floor next to the speaker playing music.
Levin lets go of my hand, making me frown until I notice he's moved to hug him mom.
"Sorry I didn't say hi yet, Mom. I'm a little nervous."
His mom pulls away first, fixing his hair before cupping his cheek lovingly.
It's the best thing I've seen all year. He's twice her size and she's hugging him and loving on him like he's still a little kid. And he's letting her and loving right back.
"No worries, bean. It's just good to see you."
He kisses her cheek and then he tells her he's gonna feed me to the lions. I hope that's just a joke, that they aren't going to eat me alive.
Levin pulls me after him as he goes to greet everyone, squeezing my hand in an attempt to ready me for whatever is about to happen.
"Who do you want to meet fir—" he begins to ask me before some kid comes barreling toward me.
"Are you Cindy?"
He's smiling so big at me, his two front teeth missing. I smile back just as big, putting my hands on my hips.
"Who's asking?"
"Me! I'm asking, silly." He tilts his head at me shrugging his shoulders up to his ears.
"It's very nice to meet you, me."
He giggles, putting his hands behind his back and leaning forward to press his nose to my belly. It's a little odd when I realize what he's doing, but he's just too cute for me to awkwardly push him away.
I shoot a look to Levin to show how much I'm dying over this kid, but he's a little busy glaring at his nephew.
"Joshua, what did we talk about? Give Cindy some space, buddy."
"Yeah, Joshua." Levin grumbles, making me laugh.
Joshua ignores his mom—another one of Levin's sisters, I'm guessing—and his uncle.
"Is it a girl or a boy?"
"I'm actually curious about that too." Levin's mom says, placing a hand on my shoulder.
I'm just now realizing how physical this family is. Christina with her hug and Joshua with his nose and Eliza with the sweet little touches to remind me she's here.
I like this. It makes me feel... here. Connected to them, almost. Is that weird?
My family isn't super touchy. My parents are super touchy with each other, and my brothers were too busy being boys. Plus, I spent most of my adolesence "hating" physical affection.
I don't think I ever noticed how much I like it.
I'm about to answer Eliza's question when I notice how heavy Levin's eyes feel on me. So, I look at him.
In those eyes, those beautiful greenish-brown eyes is a question. He's silently asking me if I'm bothered.
We've talked about how I hate how my pregnancy gets adressed before I do. He knows how much it kills me to be treated like I'm just a vessel for this humanbeing I'm growing inside my body.
I shake my head at him because this is different to me. This isn't bothering me. It's a curious little boy who wants to know what I'm having and an older woman who clearly can't get enough of kids.
He nods in understanding, grabbing my hand and holding it tight.
His hands are sweaty, and I have a feeling he's a little nervous about this whole thing.
My gaze shifts away from Levin and to Joshua. "How about we sit down? Then I'll tell you all about my baby."
I feel like just standing here isn't going to do much to settle Levin's nerves, and I want him to have as much of a good time as he wants me to have.