Chapter Fourteen
The Kiss
"Bastos ka!" Isang malakas na sampal ang lumipad sa pisngi ni Raglan nang makabawi ako't maitulak siya palayo.
My hand went numb right after it fell back on my side. Sa lakas ay agad namula ang kanyang kanang pisngi pero kahit na masakit ay para lang iyong kalabit sa kanya. He was literally as hard as a stone!
"Isusumbong kita kay daddy! You harassed me you fucker! Pagbabayaran mo 'to! You're a maniac! I hate you! I hate you!"
"Shut the fuck up!" Mas malakas niyang sigaw matapos hawakan ang magkabila kong balikat at bahagyang yugyugin! Knocking some of my senses out!
Sa lakas ng kanyang boses na umalingawngaw sa tahimik na parking lot ay parang nangatog ang mga kalamnan ko. Sinabayan pa ng kanyang boses ang kanyang madilim na presensiya kaya marahas kong naitikom ang aking bibig.
"You're drunk and you know how fuck up that is, Saryna. Saan ka uminom? Tell me where the hell have you been and who you are with?"
"Wala kang karapatang kwestiyunin ako!"
Mas lalong nagngitngit ang kanyang panga dahil doon. Siguro kung hindi lang ito ang trabaho niya ay nasaktan na niya ako ng pisikal. I could sense his instense anger towards me. At mas lalo ang pagkaupos ng kanyang pasensiya.
"Sino ka ba sa akala mo, huh?! You're just my father's employee—"
"Who can ruin your life in a second!" He cut me off. Dama kong may kung anong nagpintig sa aking tainga.
"And I can ruin yours too! I fucking will!"
"Like how, huh? By telling your father that I kissed you? You think he'll believe that?" singhal niya pabalik pagkatapos ay binitiwan ako't umatras palayo.
"How dare you!" kuyom ang mga kamao kong sagot.
"You are drunk and I'm sure this is not the first time you used your charm to make someone bend on your knees. Kung mapaniwala mo man ang daddy mo na hinalikan kita, tingin mo matatago no'n ang ginawa mo ngayon? You think he'll let this one pass again? No. Whatever you say and do, you'll still be in a big trouble. I'm pretty damn sure your mom will not like it regardless of what I have done."
"Fuck you!"
"You can't. And that will never going to happen." he spat, making my tears formed because of too much anger. I despised him so much!
"Now be honest with me, saan ka galing at saan ka uminom? This is not the first time and you can't fool me now."
I ripped my eyes off of him. I'm seconds into punching his stupid-annoying face, but I know I can't. Kahit na iyon na lang ang gusto kong gawin at kaya ko naman ay alam kong mas trained siyang iwasan iyon. I'm sure I'd lost again at ayaw ko nang dagdagan pa ang pagkatalo kong muli sa harapan niya.
"You can't speak now?"
"I said it's none of your business. Iuwi mo na ako at huwag ka nang magtanong!"
"Fine, but don't blame me if I go straight to your father and tell him that you're drunk and also probably high."
"I am not high! Uminom lang ako pero hindi ako nag-tsongke!" nagngingitngit kong balik ng matalim na titig sa kanya, hindi na naisip pa ang mga sinabi dahil galit na galit na ako
Fuck! I want to kill him!
"Tell me about it then. Be honest with me because we are not going home without your confession."
Imbes na magsalita ay pumasok na lang ako sa sasakyan. Bago ko masara ang pintuan ay naagapan na niya iyon.
"You're really this stubborn aren't you?"
"Leave me alone Raglan."
"I'm giving you a chance, Saryna. Maging totoo ka lang sa akin ngayon ay palalagpasin ko ang lahat ng ginawa mo. I won't tell your parents you get drunk and disobeyed their rules. You will not get in any trouble just tell me what I wanted to hear."
Naghalukipkip ako sa harapan niya dahilan para siya'y mapabuntong-hininga. Akala ko ay mananalo na ako pero mabilis na kumalat ang takot sa aking kabuuan nang lumayo siya para kunin ang kanyang telepono. Seconds later, my father was on the other line.
"Yes, Mr. Rozovsky. We're on our way home medyo na-late lang pero kasama ko na si Saryna," he pulled his phone away to let me see it was really my father on the other line. "Do you want to talk to her, sir?" He said and then put my father on a loud speaker.
"No need for that. Just get home soon. Tell her Somerset is here and is waiting for her."
Tuluyan nang gumuho ang mundo ko dahil doon. Kahit na gusto kong sumigaw at isumbong kay daddy ang ginawa niyang paghalik sa akin ay hindi ko ginawa dahil tama siya, my father wouldn't buy it. Alam kong imbes na sisihin niya ito ay sa akin lang mapupunta ang lahat.
Raglan was right. If he will lie and tell my father that I kissed him to gain myself a favor, he'll believe it. Ilang beses ko na rin kasing nagawa 'yon at palagi akong nakakalusot pero ngayon ay alam kong wala na akong kawala. Raglan already cornered me and I'm doomed.
Para akong natauhan nang ma-imagine ang umiiyak at disappointed na namang mukha ni mommy kaya tinanggap ko na lang ang muli kong pagkatalo.
"Yes sir. I have something to report to you, too." the man said now glancing at me to give me an ultimatum before he hang up his phone.
"You ready to confess now?" tanong niya sa muling paglapit sa akin isang minuto ang nakalipas at kahit na labag pa rin sa loob ko ay wala na akong nagawa kung hindi ang umamin.
I told him that he was right about me being drunk, but I lied and said that my friends just brought alcohol inside the university and we drunk it inside our classroom. Kahit na may pagdududa rin sa kanya ay hindi na ito nagsalita.
We were both silent on our way back home. Saka lang ako nakapagsalitang muli nang huminto na ang aming sasakyan sa garahe.
"So... are you telling dad about this?" I asked after he opened the door for me.
"I'll think about it."
"I am not lying, Raglan. Gusto ko lang uminom kaya nagpadala ako ng alak sa mga kaibigan ko at sila ang kasama ko—"
"You could've just drink your father's liquor stash if you're that thirsty."
"But I want it to be with my friends. It has been a while since I did something fun with them so please give me a break. Nangako kang kapag sinabi ko ang totoo ay bibigyan mo ako ng chance kaya huwag mong sirain ang mga salita mo."
"Beg for it then."
My jaw dropped at that. There has been no soul that made me so low, but in this case I have no choice. I am really at my lowest and as much as I hated it, I have to really beg for it.
"Don't tell my dad."
"You're forgetting some words."
Fuck you and your stupid angst. My mind screamed.
"Please?" nasusuka kong paglunok sa aking pride para lang masabi iyon.
He did not respond to me. Isinara niya ang pintuan pero bago ako muling talikuran ay nag-iwan pa ng mga salita.
"Do it again and you're done Saryna, you understand?"
I forced myself to nod to end the conversation. Nanghihina akong napasandal sa kotse nang talikuran na niya ako't mauna siyang umibis palayo at papasok sa bahay. My family was already waiting for me, but I gave myself some time to focus and fix my thoughts. After five minutes pa ako naging handa matapos kong maubos ang pangalawang bubble gum. I sprayed more perfume on my body.
Ate Somerset was there together with my other siblings. Ate Nia was sitting beside mom and kuya Nio was seated on my father's left. I kissed all of them. Mabuti na rin dahil buong durasyon ay nasa kanya ang atensiyon ng lahat at wala sa akin.
"How's the uni, Yna?" she asked, natigil ang mga kalutangan ko sa hapag.
All I wanted right now was to sleep because the tequila was still kicking in, but I had no choice but to join them.
"It's good, ate. How's Russia?"
"It's great. I kind of love being there."
"Babalik ka rin ba kaagad bukas?"
"Yeah. I'm just checking in. I've missed a lot of news about you."
"I am fine ate. I can handle myself."
"Tell me you got that bitch good?"
I smirked at that. I was about to tell her proudly about how I put Valeron's girlfriend in the hospital, but father cleared his throat to stop the conversation. He doesn't want my mother to get upset kaya kahit na gustong-gusto ko ring magkwento sa kapatid kong alam kong kahit paano ay maiintindihan ako ay hindi ko na ginawa.
The dinner went well. Ate Soms decided to sleep in my room just like the old times, but she left before one am after she got an overseas call.
Napadilat ako. I should be sleeping right now, but I just can't. Iba yata ang tama sa akin ng alak ngayon... o kaya naman ng halik na 'yon.
Remembering how Raglan savored my lips earlier made me wide awake. Kahit na nakapaglinis na ako ng katawan ay dama ko pa rin ang init ng kanya sa akin. Kahit na nakapag-toothbrush na ako ay isang pikit lang parang nasa bibig ko pa rin ang mga labi't dila niya.
I felt my cheeks burned at the thought. I still could feel myself getting weak as his lips was pressed on mine. His body heat was intoxicating and his tongue gave me real punishment. At ito na 'yon. Kahit na mabilis lang ang mga pangyayari ay hindi ko madaling makalimutan. It was punishing me right now. There was something in that kiss that marked me.
Fuck, I am doomed.
Imbes kasi na magalit, bakit parang may kung ano sa aking gustong maulit ang lahat ng 'yon? Bakit parang gusto kong gawin ulit ng hindi ako nakainom?
I know he wasn't pleased with that lame kiss and he only did that to prove a point, but I don't think he disliked it.
Kung hindi ako lasing at nasagot ko ang halik niyang iyon ay tingin ko'y hindi niya rin ito makakalimutan gaya ko. My mind screamed again because of what I was thinking.
I was kissed by the man I hated the most and I liked it. What fucked up is that even though I know it was a huge mistake, my inner demons was urging me to do it again. Not for the sake of a proper kiss or whatnot, but for revenge and to save myself from losing more. And I am fucking down for it.