Chapter Thirteen
Tequila
"I love seeing you this behaved, Saryna." Mommy said while we were on her favorite coffee shop.
Niyaya niya akong lumabas nang maabutan niya ako kinabukasan na dito na mag-breakfast kasama siya. It has been a long time since we spent some quality time together. Noong bata pa ako ay madalas ako ang kasama niya at close naman kami pero hindi ko alam kung kailan iyon nagbago. As I've said, it has been a long time.
Pinilit kong ngumiti nang makaramdam ako ng guilt habang nakatitig sa kanya. Don't get me wrong. I may have been a real pain in the ass, but I love my parents so much. Ngayong nakikita ko siyang masaya sa pagiging matino ko lately ay sumasaya rin ang puso ko.
"And I miss spending time with you."
"Same, mom." Tanging nasabi ko na lang kahit na gustong magtuloy ng mga salita ko upang humingi na rin ng tawad sa kanya sa pagiging sakit ng kanyang ulo.
"Your father told me that you've been great in school, too. Sobrang proud namin sa 'yo, you already know that right?"
"I do, mommy. And I thank you both for always putting up with me."
Pinagdiin niya ang mga labi at saka inabot ang aking kamay. Kahit na mukhang stressed siya sa akin nitong mga nakaraan ay napakaganda pa rin ni mommy. No wonder why I am so damn beautiful, too. Her genes and my father combined was a masterpiece. Hindi na rin nakapagtataka na natisod niya ang isang Thelonious Auxerre Rozovsky. They were perfect for each other.
"I know you're mad with your father's decision on you having a bodyguard and I know you don't like to follow rules, but please understand that we only do this because we love you. I don't want to see you again in the hospital or worst, somewhere else, Yna. Masyado ng maraming nangyari sa pamilya natin at ang lahat ng gulo noon ay ayaw ko nang masaksihang muli. I want all of you to live a good and quality life away from all the chaos this world has. Hangga't maaari ay gusto kong mamuhay kayo ng tahimik ng mga kapatid mo. Peace and joy is what I really wanted for all of you. Kahit iyon lang kaya huwag mo sanang masamain ang mga paghihigpit namin sa 'yo ng daddy mo."
I get it. Alam ko namang tama rin ang mga ginagawa nila, but this is me. I like living my own way and even though I know they were just worried, alam ko rin sa sarili kong kaya kong harapin ng mag-isa ang lahat. I can handle myself and there's no need for anyone to be bothered about my life. Kahit na gano'n ay nagpakumbaba ako. I don't want to hurt her anymore.
"I know mom. Gusto ko ring malaman n'yo na kaya ko ang sarili ko at pagkatiwalaan n'yo ako palagi. I can handle myself, really."
Mom's smile faded a bit. Nagkalat ang pag-aalala sa kanyang mukha pero pilit pa rin akong iniintindi.
"I trust you Yna, I do, but not this world and most of the people in it. Seeing you at the hospital was the end of the line for me. Ayaw ko nang mangyari ulit 'yon."
"It was just a misunderstanding mom. Hindi na 'yon mauulit, I promise you."
Kahit na hindi pa rin siya palagay ay hindi na lang rin ito nakipagtalo dahil baka masira pang pareho ang araw namin.
The chit-chat went on. Napag-usapan namin ang pag-aaral ko, ang mga kaibigan ko at kung paano ako nag-a-adjust. It was just a casual and fun conversation until she mentioned Raglan—who was currently sitting across the coffee shop and waiting for us to finish.
Damuhong 'yon. Nag-iinit pa rin ang dugo at buong pagkatao ko sa tuwing nakikita siya.
"How's your new bodyguard? Is he giving you a hard time?" Tanong niyang hindi ko alam kung paano sasagutin.
"You know he is and I want him replaced, but daddy didn't want to."
"He's one of the best and it's hard to replace him."
"He's not the best for me and I still hate daddy for not replacing him, but I'll compromise."
Mommy smiled at that. She looks proud on how I deal with things now. Hindi niya alam na may making dahilan iyon na pabor rin sa akin kaya ako nagkokontrol at nagtitiis.
"You remind me of myself when I was your age. Ganyan rin katigas ang ulo ko noong itinataboy ako ng daddy mo."
Kahit paano ay gumaan ang pakiramdam ko sa pagbabago ng topic naming dalawa. Nakangiti akong nakinig.
"Can you believe he even named me slave on his phone because I kept bugging him?"
"Daddy and uncle Syver already told me about that. You're really just as stubborn as me mom."
She chuckled while nodding and walking down her memory lane.
"I am. And I'm glad I didn't stop being your father's pain in the ass. Kung sumuko ako ay baka wala kayo."
"You're a fighter. We all are mommy so please," inabot ko ang kanyang kamay bago magpatuloy. "Please trust me a little bit more. I can handle myself mom and I know better now."
"I hope so, Yna... I hope so." Iyon na lang ang tanging nasabi ni mommy para sang-ayunan ako't matahimik.
Nagpatuloy pa ang mga pag-uusap hanggang sa kinailangan na naming maghiwalay. As usual, tahimik pa rin ako sa sasakyan habang nag-da-drive and salot sa buhay ko. I was minding my own business when I caught his eyes through the rear-view mirror looking at me. My left eyebrow raised at that.
"May problema ka?"
"There's a sudden change in your schedule today. May I know why your last class will be longer than usual?"
"Gusto mo bang mag-sit in na lang para wala ka nang marami pang tanong?" I spat, irritated because his presence was already enough to piss me off.
"I'm just asking."
"And I'm proposing something so you would stop bugging me today. You know how I hate talking to you."
That shut him up. May kung anong tagumpay sa puso ko ang nabuo dahil sa pagkatalo niya. Good thing my harsh attitude worked on him today, but I know he will not stop asking more questions. Napaghandaan ko naman na ito kaya walang problema.
I left my phone with one of my classmate so he could track me where he wanted me to be. Hindi na ako dumalo sa mga sumunod kong klase para um-attend sa launching ng Splace. Danny was already there when I got to the place at ang mga haliparot kong mga kaibigan ay pinuputakti na ito.
"Finally! She's here!" bulalas ni Holly na siyang unang lumayo kay Danny para batiin ako.
I greeted and kissed them as well as my cousin. He gave me a shot and applauded me for what I have done. He was proud of me and that boosted my confidence.
"I brought enough for your visitors tonight." bulong niya sa akin habang nakaakbay.
Itinuro niya ang kabilang side ng bar area at nakita ko ang ilang pamilyar na mga mukha na siyang in charge sa dala niyang pagpipiyestahan rin naming lahat ngayon. I kissed him on the cheeks.
"You're the best."
He smirked. "I know. Congratulations."
Pagkatapos no'n ay nagpahila na ako kay Holly sa gitna ng stage. The music went down and all the lights were turned to my direction. I greeted everyone and they all cheered for me.
"I'm not good at giving speeches, but thank you all for coming tonight. I also wanted to thank my friends for helping me with building Splace and for the support that they've given me. I don't want to be emotional tonight and I know you're all eager to party so I want to end this with a toast! May you drown with alcohol and high with mj you motherfuckers! Cheers!"
"Cheers!" masayang sagot ng mga ito sa akin pagkatapos ay sabay-sabay naming ininom ang mga hawak na alak bago muling bumagsak ang kantang siyang nagpahiyaw at nag-hype sa lahat.
I went back to our table. Kaliwa't kanan kaagad ang nainom kong alak. Danny and Andrea was flirting on the other side while Holly and Queeny was looking at them with envy. Kung hindi ko pa hinila ang mga ito patungo sa dance floor ay baka mamatay na ang mga ito sa inggit dahil sa dalawa. I know my cousin and my girls shouldn't be sad by Danny giving all his attention to one. He's a womanizer and he was generous on giving his time especially to girls so I know the two will also be getting their turn. Hindi nga lang ngayong gabi, but who knows?
Hindi ko na namalayan ang oras. Hindi pa man ako nakakahithit ng marijuanang umiikot na sa kabuuan ng Splace ay natatamaan na ako sa tequila at kung ano-ano pang mga klase ng alak na hindi ko tinanggihan sa mga nang-alok.
I didn't expect for Splace to be jam-packed tonight. Oo at marami kaming pinadalhan ng exklusibong imbitasyon pero hindi ko pa rin akalaing halos lahat ay pumunta dahil nalalapit na rin ang examination. I guess partying was still the top priority of my kind of people.
Wala pang alas siete ay bahagya nang umiikot ang paningin ko habang nakikipagsayaw sa dance floor. I've meet with new faces, but I flirted with none. Hindi dahil sawa na ako sa mga lalaki pero dahil alam kong mabibitin ako ngayong araw. I only have thirty minutes to stay and I don't think someone could please me with that time frame. Nakipagkaibigan na lang ako't inuman sa mga nakasalamuha ko. I almost drink a whole bottle of tequila after settling back on our table.
Again, I was in my world. My heart was at peace and I am happy. Iyon nga lang, kinailangan ko nang putulin iyon nang tawagin na ako ng bantay namin sa building at sabihing hinahanap na ako ng napag-iwanan ko ng aking telepono. Apparently, my last class was already done and I needed to leave.
Pilit kong inayos ang sarili. Halos maligo ako sa pabango bago lumabas ng club.
It was a little bit dark outside and the silence was killing me. Kakaunti na lang rin ang tao at halos sa labas dahil tapos na ang mga klase sa ganitong oras.
Nagpatuloy ako sa paglalakad sa mahaba at paikot na hagdan imbes na sumakay sa elevator. Ang totoo ay ayaw pang manahimik ng katawan ko at kung pupwede nga lang ay hanggang madaling araw akong mananatili rito. I don't want to go home yet at mas lalong ayaw kong makita ang lalaking tinik sa buhay ko ngayon. Unfortunately, I have no choice.
A classmate escorted me outside the building until I reached the parking lot. Nagpaalam si April, ang iniwanan ko ng aking telepono nang makita na niya ang paglabas ng bodyguard ko sa aming sasakyan.
Kahit na lasing ay parang tumino ang utak ko nang matitigan ang kanyang matipunong bulto. I was ten minutes late, but I was never on time so I thought he was used to it. Boy, I was wrong.
Kung akala ko ay pasasakayin niya na lang ako at walang tanong akong ihahatid pauwi ay imbes na pagbuksan ng pintuan ay hinarangan niya pa ang aking daraanan.
I cursed when I remember that I haven't brushed my teeth or even take some breath strips. Bukod sa pabango ay wala na akong ginawa dahil nagmamadali na ako. At isang salita ko lang ngayon ay mababalewala ang paliligo ko dahil amoy alak ang bibig ko.
Fuck.
I stared him down instead, but the fucker wouldn't budge.
"What?" I said, only talking with my lower lip.
Naningkit ang mga mata niya. I prayed that he wouldn't smell the alcohol in my system, but he was a smart ass. Bago pa ako muling makasinghal ay gumalaw na siya upang pagbuksan ako ng pintuan pero imbes na hayaang matiwasay na makapasok sa loob ay nagitla ako nang maramdaman ang mainit niyang kamay sa aking palapulsuhan.
"Where have you been this time, Saryna?" he said in a low and dangerous tone, enough for my knees to weakened.
I chuckled to hide my nervousness. "Where do you think I have been? Hindi na ba gumagana ang tracking device mo o pati sarili mo pinagdududahan mo na rin? Are you really that paranoid?"
Nag-igting ang kanyang panga. Hindi ako nagpatinag at pilit lang hinawi ang kamay niyang nakahawak sa akin pero muli niyang ibinalandra ang mga kamay sa pintuan para hindi ako makapasok.
"Be honest with me this time, saan ka nanggaling at bakit lasing ka na naman?"
Muli akong natawa at akma nang pabubulaanan ang mga espekulasyon niya pero sunod ko na lang naramdaman ang pagdiin ng mainit niya katawan sa akin at ang walang sabi niyang pagsunggab sa aking mga labi dahilan para mawalan ako ng lakas at tuluyan nang mapakapit sa kanyang katawan!
Everything inside me was screaming so loud that all I could do was closed my eyes and pray that everything was just a dream.
It was not.
Isang ungol ang kumawala sa aking bibig nang imbes na halikan lang ang mga labi ko ay walang pasabing pumasok pa ang mapaglaro niyang dila sa loob ng aking bibig. He made me moan again when I felt it run across my teeth and before battling with my unprepared tongue.
I know I was a good kisser, but Raglan's lips made me damn lost. It humbled me so much that all I felt was fever when he finally let go of my mouth after the straight away punishing kiss. Mas humigpit ang kapit ko sa kanyang balikat nang awtomatikong lumihis ang kanyang mukha patungo sa aking leeg.
"Fucking tequila..." he hissed dangerously on my ear, making my heart weak once again.