Ace finished his story, starting with the night with Aaron and Mr. Hrodvitnir, then ending the story with identical expressions of the man. The man gasped, "You say they're the Phoenix Auxiliaries? There's two of them? Wait, isn't-he's not-"
Ace interrupted so fast, the man dropped his spoon on a clean cloth, "Don't make a mistake, Winston."
The man's- Winston's- eyes flitted nervously past Logan than at me. His eyes stayed on me but it wasn't a look of hatred but rather a look of sympathy, the same way he looked at Ace when he first saw him. A smile spread across his face, but just briefly before looking back at Ace.
"Ace, what about your-" the man began but Ace stopped him once again, "I have nothing to do with her. Please just fill us in about what you know about Phoenix Auxiliaries."
"Who is this man to you anyways?" I asked aloud.
The man chuckled. "I'm Ace's uncle, Winston."
No wonder the eyes were identical. Then, I remembered the photo back at Center Assemblage, where Ace and another man were in front of an oriental garden and a gorgeous sunset. The other man that was smiling next to Ace was Uncle Winston.
"Don't you know something?" Ace asked Winston. "Don't you remember from your husband's books?"
"Henry?"
Ace's mouth tightened. "Didn't you say he had books on phoenixes?"
"I'm sure there is more relevant information from the media or television," Winston replied.
"Not many know about phoenixes," Ace said. "It's dangerous. The books are the only official source."
"I don't think I still have them," Winston replied, looking away. A flash of hurt crossed his face. Whoever Henry was had left Winston feeling very hollow. "Henry threw them out a while ago, but I remember from them that without phoenixes, the land would grow cold and we would die without the heat."
"That's what Aaron said," I mentioned. "So is that the phoenix's power that everyone wants?"
The man looked at me expectantly and considered his answer carefully before responding, "Aaron. He did well for Malanthe, then. And no, a person is not mentally or physically capable to have a strong enough Phluid to have complete control over how much they can change the land's temperature."
"Then, what else could Phoenix Hunters want from a phoenix and their Auxiliary?" I asked.
He continued as if he didn't hear me, "People used to believe that inferno dragons once had the job of giving a source of heat to the humans and animals. Inferno dragons were extremely hard to connect with, probably the hardest animal. Anyone who got them during The Evaluation usually end up dropping out of training and go without an animal. Iona pushed the propaganda that Inferno Dragon Auxiliaries would bring the most progress."
"But animals and Auxiliaries don't just choose which powers they get. Unless someone passes on their powers over to you and is added to your existing one."
"Of course not," Winston agreed. "But no one knew since the land's temperature rarely changed. There was no clear evidence which animal could control it."
"Inferno Dragon Auxiliaries believed it was them that should have the powers. Phoenix Auxiliaries believed it was them, since heat could come from the phoenix, not dragons."
"Why do they want to take over the role of whose light source manager?" Logan asked.
"It would be nice if they had the power to turn on and off the sun, but nobody's Phluid is so powerful that it would surpass a human's limits. Phoenixes do have the power of the sun, but with heavy limits. They might be able to move a temperature one degree up or down, but that's about it."
My face scrunched. "That's it? To alter the temperature by one degree?"
Winston shook his head, "The power to alter the temperature by one degree is simply a figurehead between the Inferno Dragons and Phoenixes. The real problem is that they have another power that Inferno Dragon Auxiliaries have wanted for a very long time. I am not exactly sure what the other power they possess is, but it's enough for Malanthe to want it. Because of that, all of the previous Phoenix Auxiliaries and their phoenixes died to preserve that power."
"Malanthe is an Inferno Dragon Auxiliary then," I whispered. "But how did she get close to the sun to create a phoenix without burning up?"
"Yes," he stammered. "She does have one. Going near the sun without burning up, well, that's a question I ask myself as well. I don't know how she did it. Her as an Inferno Dragon Auxiliary, though, nothing is out of the question."
Winston stopped and looked at Ace, "Still Ace, what does this have to do anything with you?"
Ace scratched his head. "Nothing, just curious."
Winston didn't buy his story, "You're not all going there by yourselves, are you?" Winston questioned in a dangerous voice.
I clenched my knee under the table. "I don't think we have a choice."
He stared at me with astonishment. "Stay hidden, if you don't want to sacrifice your powers. She wants you to come to her. That's what the Phoenix Hunters and her Colludes are there for. To threaten you in some way and convince you to give up yourself. Don't go."
"What choice do I have?" A tinge of desperation tinted my voice.
That was my only argument, of course, to appease him.
"You of all people," Winston targeted at me, "should not be risking their life against Malanthe. Death is not something you can gamble. Death is not something you should wish for."
"No," I rejected. "Whatever I choose, it will be death."
"It may be," Winston warned. "But how you get to death may be extremely long and excruciating. Malanthe does not have followers, she has supporters and allies."
"Then that's more reason why you shouldn't question me," I told him. "I've already made my decision. At least at this point, encourage me."
Logan and Veronica were very still next to me. I was afraid I had said the wrong words. Ace looked at me with a harsh steady gaze.
"No," Winston countered. "That's more reason why you shouldn't question me. I might have lost everything, but you haven't. You haven't lost anything."
I sat there, silenced. He was right. I didn't understand how he knew so much about me with so little words. He knew where my vulnerabilities lied.
"She's already done damage, no matter if she was directly correlated with them or not. When we stay hidden, she's going to find a way to find us. She already has allies." My next words were sharp. I looked up at Winston, unmoving. "And we don't want enemies."
"I can't let all of you go to your deaths without me doing something to prevent it." Winston's voice was shallow and full of hurt."Especially when Ace is with all of you. I've already lost Henry, my animal, Rosaline...everybody...You, Phoenix Auxiliaries may be safe, but there are no promises for Ace."
Logan interrupted, pain flashing through his dark eyes. "I have that gamble as well." He was right. Veronica, as well, had no safeguard.
Winston covered his hand over his face when Ace stood up. Veronica's head shot up at his sudden movement. Ace growled, "It's our time to leave. It was pointless talking to you."
"I'm worried," Winston continued, reaching out for Ace. "I don't want to anger you, but I beg for all of you to not look for trouble."
Winston's voice lowered dramatically, "It might not even be domination or power that Malanthe wants. Power isn't what everyone strives for. It might just be something middle ground. And that's the most dangerous type of all."
I stayed where I was. I wanted to stay in the warm recesses of this hut and travel back to the past generations displayed on the walls. Winston was Ace's uncle and that connection had made me long to see some of my own family again.
Ace huffed, turning his back to Winston. His shoulders seem taut with anger. "That's all we needed. We will be leaving. Now."
I didn't say anymore when I walked hastily to follow Ace and Veronica out the door, Logan right behind me. While we were all crowding the door of the hut, Veronica looked at Winston and said, "Thank you. I apologize for our abrupt visit."
I stayed behind with Ace and Winston while Logan and Veronica left to find our animals again. Winston leaned against the fragile door of his hut and smiled at Ace. Although it was a small one, it was filled with affection and love. "I know I can't stop you, Vance, but I wanted to let you know you're doing well. I'm so proud regardless. Remember, not to hate your mother too much. Let people live their one life."
Ace sighed. "It's Ace. Not Vance."
"It's a way to say I missed you," Winston said in return. He frowned. "What would happen if your mother knew I was letting you go like this?"
"She doesn't care," Ace said bluntly.
"She wants you to go," Winston said. "But not like this, in such a dangerous position. Do you remember you promised me you would eat my apple pies with me again?"
Ace tapped his fingers on his staff. He let his hand run against his collarbone as if in deep thought. "I don't break promises."
I didn't want to bother their family reunion any further so I slinked away after Veronica and Logan. Ace's eyes followed me and noticed the signal, so he quickly piped a goodbye to Winston and ran after me.
Ember and Nix moved behind a tree with Veronica and Logan, illuminating an oblong shape of light around them. Zoey sat on top of Veronica's shoulders as usual and Ace's Garvyn popped out of the soot.
It seemed strange how fast we were in and out of Winston's hut as if time was against us, pushing us away and away from the known and faster and faster toward something morally wrong.
Not before I had fully set myself back in my walking routine, I turned back to the hut and watched Winston finally close the door behind him, shutting the warm, ambient light away from us.
Though he was not part of my family, Uncle Winston's absence was jarring, especially present in Ace's encumbered aura. Ace's shoulders sagged, his staff loose in his hands. He had been lagging behind Veronica and Logan for some time before he picked up the pace and began to retake his role in guiding us. With all that was going on, I couldn't help but wonder who Uncle Winston was in Ace's life and the memories they had together.
We crossed more beaten black paths. There were forests upon forests of emaciated trees and layers and layers of fog that coated the bleak sky above. In a forest, I would have expected moss on the ground, multitudes of organisms, fertile soil, rays of light coming from the canopies above, but this forest looked more like it had just survived a wildfire, ashes piling on the ground and near-broken twigs criss crossing the way of walking.
Sometimes I imagined a slight tap on the shoulder or something smiling at me from the depths of the trees or a wiry creature frozen in the middle of the path. The more I thought of the hallucinations, the more I felt inclined to think they were real. Whispers and hushed screams infiltrated, perverted my sense of rationality. I didn't know I had flinched before feeling intense heat diffuse out from inside me. I was scared, I realized, so scared that even if I willed the fears away they would come back intensified and more grotesque.
But they eventually disappeared. Nix and Ember's light didn't reach a very long range, but to me, it was everything. A light at the end of the tunnel. The group was comforting to watch, as well. They could not limit my imagination of the forest, but they served a reminder to bring myself away from that and back again toward reality and the path ahead of me.
Ace gave a sigh and sat down when we were in a very thick part of the forest where all I could see around me were trees after trees, shrouded in fog. As he sat against a random tree, black soot streaked his shirt.
He saw my disheartening look, "It gives us some cover."
His Garvyn dove itself in the soot next to Ace, a small white ball against the mass of dark around it. It dove a little too far, its horns tipping over before the bird righted itself and ruffled its feathers readying for a good night sleep.
"Resting on soot this time," Veronica teased, brushing off some soot from the ground with the tip of her shoe. "Better choice than the burial chamber."
Ace snorted.
I didn't bother finding a tree; I just plopped down and laid my whole back across the soot. Nix curled his body against my stomach and instantly I was rewarded with warmth. My hand instinctively grabbed some of the blackish substance on the ground and I began to rub it between my fingers out of boredom.
I shook off the soot off my fingers. The phoenix symbol on my hand was glowing faintly through the fine layer of dust. Even with so much recent usage of my hands, the lines of the symbol were prominent.
"What are you thinking about?" Veronica piped up.
Veronica was against a tree with a rather small trunk but her back fitted well against it. Her hair ran down her front in soft curls and it still looked clean despite the soot. Her large silver dragon earrings poked out from the stray locks of hair.
"It's not at all how I imagined a night-out under the sky," I said, looking up. Only the mass of broken twigs greeted me from above. Suddenly, I wished I was back home, seeing the swirl of the ceiling fan and the warmth of light from the bedroom window shining through each glass of home-made terrariums.
Veronica looked up with me. "I wouldn't have expected anything better in Daer Necropis."
"Probably not."
"You already survived Augite," Veronica said, encouragingly, moving her eyes away from the sky. "You should be happy about that."
"It doesn't feel very victorious."
"Well," Veronica said. "I like to think of it as an accomplishment. Otherwise, how could we ever achieve bigger things in life? What you did, Iridian, may not seem much, but it's incredibly big for you."
Veronica flicked her wrist and her bow and arrow appeared in her hands, but as soon as she conjured it, she made it disappear again. It was a habit, I realized. Even with her fast reflexes, she was still uptight about defending herself. Not only that, she began to summon her double sabers over and over again as if her bow and arrow didn't suffice enough. Zoey slept on by her thighs, her wings covering her face.
"The business with the Colludes you were talking about," I ventured. "It was because of your family and Logan's."
She nodded, slowly. She glanced over at Logan's immovable body, small against the darkness around him.
"I'm sure that wasn't your only motivation," I said.
"No," Veronica agreed, finally turning away from Logan and to the black forest to keep watch. "I had other plans before, but can goals truly be defined all the time?"
I thought about my conversation I had with Logan. Whereas I always wanted a definite goal, Veronica's mindset was completely different. She was open to change. Maybe not open, maybe used to change.
"You don't trust me to get you what you want?" I asked.
Veronica shook her head. "No, no, I don't doubt you. My business has to be solved by me. I would never want to place my own burdens on you. That would be selfish of me."
I focused on breathing at the same pace as Nix. "I would like to try my best for you," I told her.
Veronica's eyebrows perked up at my response. I continued, "I always wanted to follow what Iona wanted. Progress and success with my animal besides me. None of this right now was what I wanted, or even imagined. I can't even try to accept it because there was no initial will or motivation for me to go to Malanthe."
"You're not forced to make any of these choices," Veronica reassured.
"No, I'm not, but that does not mean there are no consequences that follow what I do."
"That's correct."
"I don't know what I want," I said, voicing the same I had with Logan. "Saving the world, saving people definitely wasn't it. Maybe I want what was stolen from me. Maybe my progress and success lies within all of you and my purpose should not be to let you all down."
Such empty words. Even Veronica could feel it underneath my seemingly encouraging sentence. I only wanted to reassure myself that I wasn't leading people to their death; trying not to remind myself that if this failed, it would all be because of me. I had brought light to their motivation by being a Phoenix Auxiliary and leading them to Malanthe, but soon enough I was going to send them off to regrets and disappointment.
Sure, Logan was a Phoenix Auxiliary as well, but he had another job, I had mine. More importantly, if I failed, my job would never be complete and the struggles of being a Phoenix Auxiliary would continue as long as Malanthe and her Colludes lived. Was I really that selfish?
Veronica smiled warmly, placing a single hand on my hair. "For now, just think of it as giving me a great opportunity."
"Of course," I said, trying to dissipate the tension of the conversation. "Helping me while benefiting from it. What could be better?"
Veronica laughed at my tone and said while stroking my hair, "Exactly. As I said before, goals don't have to be defined all the time. Iona didn't only want progress. She valued creativity, individuality, identity, and more. What you do, Iridian, I'm sure you'll know what your definition of progress means and how it aligns with Iona's."
We listened to the animals' snores and my eyes had begun to grow heavy with lack of sleep. While Veronica's hair moved through my strands of hair, I stroked Nix's soft feathers and counted second after second to coax myself to sleep.
I could barely make out Veronica's words as my eyes started to sag and as I lost count of what second I was on, "I wouldn't help the world. It's just filled with-"
Veronica never finished her sentence when a roar pierced the silent night.