Amelia sniffed and looked at Samantha's face. Sam parked the car properly at kanina pa sila magkayakp sa loob nun.
Ramdam na ramdam niya ang init sa dibdib niya habang yakap siya nito. The storm in her stomach also settled. In Samantha's arms she felt so safe. Kahit pa masakit ang nangyari kanina. Sam made it bearable.
"Are you ok now?"
Sam gently lifted her chin. Amelia felt heat creep up her face. Napayuko agad siya dahil hindi siya sanay na maging ganito ka-vulnerable sa harap nito. She was a strong woman who believed that for a long time. But Sam could see her weak side and didn't judge her.
Hindi niya masabi kay Chrisitan kung ano ang pinag dadaanan niya dahil alam niyang maiinis ito at magagalit sa kanya. He would always say na dapat ay hindi na niya iniisip pa ang iisipin ng pamilya ng Dad niya dahil matagal na siyang iniwan ng mga ito. But she was stubborn and tried so many times to contact her father.
"T-Thank you, Sam."
She heard Sam sigh. "Amelia. You can be weak in front of me. Lahat tayo may mga pagkakataong hindi laging matatag. It doesn't mean you are weak when you cry. Crying relieves us of the emotional burden. So let it out."
Sa sinabi nito ay tiningnan niya ito. Amelia suddenly felt an overwhelming emotion inside her chest. Muling tumulo ang mga luha niya.
"D-Don't you think I need to let go of my father and stop begging for his love?"
Her hands trembled. Ikinuyom niya iyon. She doesn't want to be weak and cry in front of Sam pero hindi niya kaya.
Sam held her trembling hands. "Tumingin ka sa mga mata ko, Amelia."
Amelia slowly lifted her chin and looked directly at Sam's face.
Sam gave her a soft gaze. It was a steady gaze that was comforting and not invasive. Nakatingin lang ito ng diretso sa mga mata niya.
"Hindi kailangang mag kadugo para masabi mong pamilya mo ang isang tao. There are many people who care for you. Si Bridgette, my Dad at ako andito ako."
Sam inhaled deeply bago ulit tumingin sa mga mata niya. "Tell me all about him. I'll listen."
Amelia felt her chest tightened. Her voice felt like it would crack kung mag sasalita siya. Ang sama sama ng loob niya sa Dad niya. It was getting harder to breath too habang bumabalik sa alaala niya ang mga nangyari noon.
"Nagmakaawa ako noon sa kanya na pag aralin ako. Hindi na kaya ng mama ko na sustentuhan ang pag aaral ko and I lost my scholarship at that time. So I went to him to beg because he is still my father and he has responsibility to me." Amelia took a shuddering breath.
Hanggang ngayon sa tuwing naiisip niya ang mga panahong iyon. Gusto niyang bawiin ang lahat. Gusto niyang wag na lang dumepende dito but what can she do?
Sam stroked her hair.
"He has some business here sometimes pero ni minsan hindi niya kami dinalaw ni Mama. Nalaman ko na lang na may iba siyang pamilya. He has a wife and a kid sa Korea. Noong una ay nagalit ako sa kanya then I felt pity towards myself pero mas naawa ako sa Mama ko. Binuntis niya lang at hindi pinanagutan. But I was desperate. Gusto kong makapag tapos ng pag aaral. So I begged him to provide for me and my Mom."
Nakita niya ang pagkuyom ng kamay ni Sam. The younger Del Rio looked away. Nag tutubig na naman kasi ang mga mata niya.
"H-He finally gave up dahil lagi akong andun sa kanila. A-Ayaw niyang makita ng pamilya niya na may anak siya sa labas. So to shut me up, he gave me money. Kaya hanggang ngayon, sa tingin niya ay yun lang ang kailangan ko sa kanya."
Sam bit her lip. "I-I'm sorry, Amelia."
She shook her head. Saying it to someone really helped. Ni minsan hindi niya nasabi kay Christian na ganun siya ka-affected sa hindi pag pansin sa kanya ng Dad niya. But Sam listened and didn't judge her.
Parang gumaan ang pakiramdam niya. It's like something had been lifted off her shoulders.
"T-Thank you, Sam."
Sam looked away, blushing. "A-Are you gonna be ok?"
Tumango tango siya dito. She will always cry but she'll always pick herself up. Everytime he pushes her away, unti unti na di siyang nasasanay.
She wiped her tears with her hands pero hinawakan ni Sam ang kamay niya. May kinuha ito sa bulsa nito. She found out that it was a handkerchief. Ipinahid nito iyon sa mukha niya.
"Lalong magiging singkit yang mga mata mo. Papangit ka na."
Amelia couldn't help the smile that made its way to her lips. Hinampas niya ito ng mahina sa braso.
Sam threw her head back, laughing. "What?"
"Pag ito humupa. Who you ka sakin."
Amelia rolled her eyes. Tawa naman ito ng tawa. She really like seeing Sam smile. It was so sincere. Kumikinang ang mga mata nito sa tuwing tatawa ito. She doesn't want Sam to smile like that to anyone else. Gusto niya sa kanya lang. Is it selfish of her to do that?
Sam suddenly stopped laughing and held her face. Malamlam ang mga mata nito. "I'm glad you are smiling again."
Amelia's eyes teared up and she suddenly felt her chest cave in. Sam really know how to make her feel loved. Pero hindi niya alam kung anong nararamdaman niya para dito. Is she only attached to Sam dahil sa pag aalala nito para sa kanya at sa mga maiinit na sandaling pinag saluhan nila? Or is this something else?
She still doesn't know. Kailangan niya bang magbigay muna ng distansiya sa pagitan nila para malaman niya kung ano ba talaga ang nararamdaman niya?
Amelia closed her hands tightly.
"S-Sam. I—I want to be alone for a while. Is it ok?"
Sam bit her lip and sighed. "Yes, pero ihahatid na kita. You might not be in good condition to drive."
"B-But what about your Dad?"
"Dad is being taken care of. Sandali lang naman kitang ihahatid."
Amelia's eyes lit up. Tila hinahaplos ng mainit na kamay ang dibdib niya. Sam cared for her so much. Minsan natatakot siyang tanungin ito kung ano bang nararamdaman nito para sa kanya, dahil hindi niya din alam kung ano ang nararamdaman niya para dito.
It is lust, attaachement or love? She needs to know.
Minaniobra na ni Sam ang sasakyan paalis sa parking lot ng hospital. Amelia looked at Sam's hands holding the steering wheel and the gearing stick. Her hands reached out and held Sam's hands.
Napatingin ito sa kamay niya.
Kumabog ang dibdib niya but she liked holding Sam's hands. Hindi ito nagsalita at ngumiti na lang. Amelia leaned back on her chair and sighed in satisfaction. She hoped everything would stay the way it was, but the truth is she's a married woman.
Hindi niya alam kung sino na ngayon ang mas matimbang sa dibdib niya. Is it Christian and the years that they had spent together or is it Sam with her smiles, caring heart and the 4 short months that they had?
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A/N:
I think I rushed the story, and it felt like whiplash. So in-edit ko. Thank you for reading. Minsan nakaka-discourage magsulat pero hindi ako susuko. ^^