My stomach drops when we round the corner nad our apartment becomes visible. I don't know why I feel so nervous but Hex being so on edge isn't helping one bit. He may have lowered his voice and apologised but the tight grip he holds the steering wheel with confirms that he's still angry.
The sky had darkened considerably since we left mums even though it was barely fifteen minutes ago but the events that had happened within that span of time has made it seem more like an hour.
It's silent between us as I unlock the front door. The click of the lock turning is loud and Teddy hears it, coming to walk around my feet as I enter.
"Alright" Hex sighs in frustration as he locks the door. "Tell me" he demands.
I continue walking into the kitchen with my back to him "I need a drink" I murmur. My throat is dry and and my saliva thick.
Hex follows behind me and patiently waits, watching me drink out of a glass as he leans on the kitchen island across from me. His eyes follow my every move and I have no doubt he can tell by the way I crack my knuckles and fiddle with my hair that I'm anxious to tell him.
He nods his head in encouragement when I finish the glass, the water doing little to sooth my throat.
"Don't get mad and don't yell" I say firmly, hoping that it will lessen the outcome of this conversation. He nods but the darkness behind his eyes says something else. "T-the Pollars came in to work today" his eyes darken further nad I see his hands grip the island out the corner of my eye. "T-they stayed all day."
He nods, his eyes darkening further. I think he's trying to give me a false sense of security but it's not working.
"Hex?" I say softly ready for him to lash out.
"What did they do?" He asks, his voice rough.
My chin starts to wobble at the harshness of his voice, its not towards me though, its towards Amos and Ace Pollar, but I keep the tears at bay and focus on the rest of the story.
"Drink a-and-."
"Did they talk to you?" He asks, his grip on the island becoming tighter.
"They tried to" I say quietly. "Harley wanted to confront them, but I didn't let her" I whisper. It does little to direct Hex's attention away from me.
He nods and looks to his left, giving me a clear view of his jaw clenching. I jump when he slams his hands on the island, the sound a loud smack and I wince knowing his hands must throb at least a little bit.
"Okay" he says more so to himself as he takes a deep breath in and continues nodding. "Okay."
My breath hitches in my throat when he turns and grabs the car keys before disappearing into the lounge room and in the dierection of the front door. The boots that he hadn't taken off at the door stomp along the floorboards loudly and I hope our neighbours can't hear them.
"Where are you going?" I exit the kitchen in a rush after him "you said you wouldn't leave" I plead as he unlocks the door. My heart throbs in my chest.
"I'm going to Harley's, be back soon. Lock the door behind me" is all he says as he closes the door with a slam. I do as he says and lock the door before making my way over to the window and pulling the curtains back. I watch as he walks to his car. His stance strong and obviously pissed by the tensing of his figure.
He gets in the car and pulls out of the driveway too fast, the car engine being heard loud along the street before fading as he gets further away.
And once the car headlights fade completely a chill takes over me, an eerie chill. I hadn't been by myself in this apartment ever, especially not at night. Hex is always with me. Always.
I jump as Teddy meows. I cover the window with the curtain once again and look at Teddy. He's standing in front of his bowl and I realise that we hadn't given him his dinner.
"Oh Teddy, I'm sorry" I mumble and feed him.
I watch the clock tick away and hope that the sound of a car will be heard soon as Hex returns home.
My phone starts to ring and I run to grab it, it's not Hex though; it's Harley. Which only makes me worry more. Had something happened at their house?
"Hello?" I answer.
"Hi, it's me. Did you tell Hex about today?" She asks. I hear the rumble of Banks' car in the background, its loud engine distinguishable.
"Yeah, I had to. He didn't take it well" I mumble and rub my forehead as I feel the ache of an headache coming on.
"Yeah, that was obvious" Harley scoffs "he came over here pissed and then just left with Banks" she informs me.
"He did?" I ask, shocked. They hadn't ever showed dislike towards each other but also didn't show a liking. Hex also found it hard to connect with people or trust them so it didn't surprise me that they didn't become best friends.
My hearts sinks knowing that he won't be home soon like he said he would be, but the sadness turns into anger quickly when I recognise that it's me being punished for something I can't control, a punishment I don't think even Hex is aware he's giving.
"Yeah, I don't know where they were going but don't worry. He's with Banks, he won't let him do anything stupid" she reassures me with a yawn. Hex must have caught them just before they were going to bed, after all Harley is opening Darby's tomorrow morning.
"Okay" I reply shakily. I really don't want to be here alone especially in the dark. I double check the front door is locked as I continue holding the phone to my ear.
"Will you be okay by yourself? I can come over until Hex is back" she offers. I hadn't bothered to hide my worry but I wasn't going to make her drive over here just to keep me company in my own home.
"No, I'll be fine. Let me know if you hear anything okay?" I ask and take a seat on the couch, ready to turn the tv on for the night while I wait for Hex to return.
"I will. Call me if you need me" she says before we hang up.
I hold my head in my hands and rub my temples, my headache growing but also the frustration is growing too.
I can't decide if I should be angry at Hex. On one hand he said he wouldn't leave and he did, but on the other hand he was told in anger management that if he felt like blowing up then he had to leave and that's better then the alternative of putting a hole in my wall.
But I'm allowed to be angry, especially when hours pass by, anger growing each time the big hand makes a rotation around the clock and by the time twelve o'clock strikes I stand from the couch. I keep the TV and the lights in the kitchen on in an attempt to make myself feel more comfrotble during the night.
I can't help but wonder how Hex is going to get up for work in the morning when he's still out and has to be awake in five hours, but I get rid of that thought quickly, that's not my problem and it will be his own fault.
I take Teddy with me, not because he can protect me but he'll make the bed feel less lonely as I climb in by myself. And in a moment of annoyance, I lock the bedroom door. If Hex comes home he can sleep on the couch.
I lie awake for hours, the annoyance turning into worry and fear that something had happened but then I would remember he's with Banks and it would lessen a bit and the cycle would repeat again and again, until I eventually fall asleep.
*
I wake from a half asleep/half awake state to the sound of a car. I recognise it as Banks loud engine, the same one I had heard on the phone to Harley earlier. I wince knowing that it has probably woken our neighbours.
Only moments later it leaves and the front door opens.
I expect to hear stumbling from intoxication but he sounds exactly how he left. Sober. The noise from the TV is switched off and the flick of the light switch can be heard as I see the light from under the crack of the bedroom door turn off and then Hex can be heard walking in the direction of our bedroom.
My heart lurches knowing that he's about to find out that I had locked the door on him and I begin to feel guilty but I don't move and unlock it. It's only one night, I can hold my ground for once.
He stops outside and I hear him trying to turn the door handle until he realises it's locked and then he stops. He stands outside the door for a while, the sound of our breathing the only thing heard in the apartment.
I wait for him to call out, to say something to me, maybe even beg me to let him in and tell me he's sorry for leaving but he doesn't. Instead, he turns and heads back out to the louge room. It sends a sharp pain to my chest.
It's the first night we had spent alone since Hex was released from Hellbound and I know I'm going to hate it, and I know I'm probably not going to get a lot of sleep but there's very few things I have asked for him to respect in terms of boundaries and he broke one tonight.