steve:
the next school day went by and when steve finally packed his math notes and calculator in his bag he breathed a heavy sigh of relief.
"thank god! one more minute and i would have taken the window exit", he mumbled to himself before leaving the class room.
the corridors were almost empty again since his teacher exceeded the lesson. steve walked towards his locker which was only a few steps away. after he unlocked it, he put his math and geography book back and was about to close the metal lock again, when he noticed something.
he reached for the few magnets on the inside of the door and took one off. it was a small guitar. steve couldn't hold back a smile. it seemed that wherever he went, eddie would follow him in some way. obviously not really follow him. but the more steve got to know eddie, the more steve found things which reminded him of the metalhead.
he put the little magnet back and shut the door. with his now way lighter backpack steve made his way down to the parking lot. standing in front of his car, he looked around, trying to find robin but it seemed that the red- head wasn't here yet. instead, he noticed how jason and his basketball team members walked towards him.
"fuck", steve mumbled under his breath while leaning against the bonnet. for a second steve considered to get into his car and avoid the upcoming situation but it wouldn't help him much since he still had to wait for robin and couldn't just leave.
"hey, harrington!", jason called him when he was only a few meters away "remember, tomorrow is chrissy's birthday!"
steve didn't know what he was supposed to answer to that statement. "yes?", "i know?", "you told me?" so he simply nodded and crossed his arms, preparing for jason to throw a punch or yell at him about the last time they met. but nothing happened. he didn't even bother to stop walking. he just left. no mean words about himself or eddie, no slurs. nothing but a weird smirk on the other men's faces. however, steve didn't know if that was a good or a bad sign. maybe he would have actually preferred the mean words than those questionable smirks.
when jason and his team passed by and started their own cars, steve shook his head confused. it was jason. he always had those weird smiles or facial expressions. it was nothing new and he shouldn't overthink it. even though he told himself that and tried to suppress the overthinking thoughts, there was still this tiny part of him that they had something on their minds.
"hey, steve! are you okay?", steve got pulled out of his thoughts and watched how eddie ran towards him. "i saw that jason and his companions talked to you. are you okay?"
"yeah, yeah i am fine. surprisingly, they didn't do anything"
steve watched how eddie' worried expression went to pure confusion and his eyebrows were scrunched together.
"believe me i am just as confused as you are", steve added but the other male just shrugged his shoulders.
"i don't care. as long as they didn't do anything, there's nothing to worry about. i was actually looking for you to ask if you want to come over to my trailer to continue with the project", eddie asked and moved the palms of his hands slowly against each other. steve noticed that eddie's fingernails were painted black which suddenly released a warmth inside steve which creeped from his toes to his face.
fuck. that was attractive.
"uhm- yeah? i mean, yes sure? i don't have to work today", steve stumbled across his own words trying to rip his eyes of eddie's hands. he couldn't deny that eddie's hands with rings were already weirdly attractive but eddie's hands with rings and black nail polish- that was just a different level.
"alright, cool. i drove with my own car to school today so i will go home already while you're waiting for robin. you can just join me after bringing her home"
"okay, by the way have you seen robin? usually she never takes this long?!"
"oooh- yeah i did", a big smile spread on eddie's face "however, she seemed busy so i really, really didn't want to bother her"
"seriously?! you could have at least told her to hurry up!", steve protested and leaned his head back with a groan.
"and interrupt her literal make out session with vickie?! hell nah! it was a pain in the ass to watch robin shy away from that girl so i wouldn't want to destroy their glorious moment!"
"excuse me what the fuck did you just say?!"
"what? we gotta support the local lesbians, stevie boy. or should i say the local queers?", eddie smirked and winked at stevie, leaving him speechless.
inner panic spread through steve's body. on the one side he was terrified that eddie might have found out about his crush on him, on the other hand he would have been a tiny, tiny bit relieved because maybe, just maybe eddie would like him back? consider to like steve back? steve gulped and pushed his hopes back down. there was just no way that someone as cool and confident as eddie would ever even consider liking someone like steve. not to forget that eddie thought that steve didn't like guys.
"anyway", eddie cleared his throat "i will go now. robin shouldn't take that long so don't worry. i will wait for you"
steve smiled at the other guy while watching him walk over to his old van. his words were so simple yet so perfectly fitting no matter what he said.
seems like my crush is worse than i thought.
steve smiled to himself and happily opened his car's door. he was way too busy thinking about eddie to notice how another ten minutes passed before robin swang open the door and jumped on the seat.
"sorry! i know i am late but something ca-"
"you made out with vickie it's fine", steve interrupted her. he turned to his best friend whose cheeks turned pinkish.
"naw! i am so proud of you, robin!", steve pulled robin in a bone crushing hug and couldn't stop smiling. "really! even though it took you way too fucking long- here you are! happily in a relationship with vickie! wait-", steve pulled away from the hug and held eye contact with robin "you are in a relationship right ?!"
"ye-"
"amazing!!", steve yelled and robin covered her ears with her hands.
steve patted robin's shoulder like a proud parent and smiled like there was no tomorrow. he started the engine and with a short sight to the right he could also see the shy but happy smile on robin's lips.
"i am seriously proud of you", steve repeated and got a "thanks" from robin.
"so, now that i made my move towards vickie, i expect you to do something about eddie", robin teased and steve made an excited undefinable sound.
"oh. my. god! i can't do that!"
"now look who's talking! every time i said that you always told me to "not worry" and "just do it". now you see how helpful that was, huh?"
"no, you cannot compare that! vickie was so obvious about liking you and you were just fucking blind! meanwhile, eddie doesn't even know that apparently i also date guys- eddie- i mean i don't know if i would date other guys besides eddie because until now i didn't even consider dating a guy and now out of fucking nowhere he just appears and makes me question my entire existence!", steve ranted while robin just laughed at him.
"you should see yourself right now, harrington! it's so funny because i went through the same struggle, besides the fact that i was literally five years younger"
steve sighed while stepping on the gas a bit more.
"does eddie even like guys?", steve slowly asked trying to make it as inconspicuous as possible.
"uhm- i am not even gonna answer that question", robin answered dryly while giving steve a "you're so fucking dumb" stare from the side.
"don't you dare looking at me like that!", steve protested and pointed with his finger towards robin. but instead of an answer robin just put a gum between her teeth and laughed.
"the only thing i am going to tell you is that he literally has a black hanky put into his jeans' back pocket"
"wow! that absolutely answered all of my questions!", steve said ironically, still having no clue what robin meant.
"you'll find out soon. even if you're too blind, eddie probably figured it out anyway", robin added and gave steve's shoulder a little pat while he stopped the car in front of her house.
"okay- jokes aside for a second, robin", steve said and turned towards his best friend "just give me a yes or no answer, please"
robin put her backpack on her lap, ready to get out of the car.
"is there a chance that eddie would maybe, possibly like me or i don't know start liking me?", steve asked and gulped because of his nervousness. without even thinking robin answered.
"yes"
steve took a deep breath, maybe because he was relieved, maybe because he held his breath for the past 20 seconds, maybe because even though there was a chance, it didn't mean that he had to like him.
"thank you", steve said and watched how robin got out of his car with a big smile.
"one thing i recommend you about eddie, steve: don't overthink it. if you're sure how you feel about him just try it, alright?", robin gave him an encouraging nod before she went to house's door and waved him one last time.
cheerfully steve stepped on the gas and made his way to eddie's trailer. it was going so well!
a few minutes later, steve parked next to eddie's van and walked up the few stairs to the trailer's door. he knocked and after a few seconds, eddie opened the door with a wide smile.
"stevie boy! there you are!", eddie welcomed him and stepped to the side to let steve come in. he didn't even bother to take off his shoes and instead sat down on of of the chairs around the table where music sheets, steve's college block and a variety of pencils were scattered all over. above all that stuff, eddie's guitar was laying across the table.
"you already started?", steve asked while taking a look at all the different papers.
"just a few minutes ago. i was looking at some sounds from other songs to find new inspirations", eddie answered and sat down on the chair next to steve.
"for example this song. it's from one of my favourite groups. since our refrain is kinda dry until now i thought maybe we could mix some songs and change it up a bit", eddie moved a paper towards steve who picked it up, looking at the white and black spots acting as if he would know how to read them.
"aaahh, yeah right. that's a good idea", steve slowly answered while sending eddie helpless looks.
"sorry, i forgot you can't read sheet music", eddie realized and reached for his guitar. "however, i can play the original and then how we could change it up", he suggested and steve nodded excitedly.
while eddie jumped between the different sounds back and forth, steve tried his best to focus on the project. however, it turned out to be incredibly difficult to not just stare at him, sitting in his black tank top and ripped jeans, which was bedecked in silver chains and random pins, and of course his guitar which he played with his painted nails and rings.
steve caught himself spacing out over and over again while writing down the things eddie told him to since most of the time he had no idea what the other male was even talking about.
"okay! i think that's good for now. let's wrap it up for today and instead work on it tomorrow again", eddie sighed and laid his guitar back on the table. steve put his pen down and watched how eddie rubbed his eyes before leaning back and stretching his arms in the air above his head. by doing that, his tank top moved a little upwards and just about five centimeters were exposed of his stomach. a thin black drawing appeared on his waistline and steve couldn't hold himself back.
"you have a tattoo on your stomach? didn't that hurt like crazy? i've heard that the stomach is the most painful body part to tattoo!"
for a few seconds, eddie looked confused at steve before noticing that his shirt exposed his skin. he laughed before moving his chair closer to steve.
"actually, the rips are the most painful body part", eddie corrected him "and where are you looking stevie boy, hm? checking out your project partner?"
steve's cheeks turned pinkish.
"that- no- that's not what happened! it was just- i was curious because i don't have tattoos!", steve defended himself while crossing his arms in front of his chest and put his right leg above the left one.
"oh, yeah right", eddie ironically said, absolutely not convinced by steve's excuse. obviously he knew that steve checked him out. he didn't need a good school degree to realize that. but he enjoyed to tease steve instead of confronting him directly with it.
"i should go home", steve suddenly mentioned and stood up abruptly, almost unbalancing his chair.
"you don't want to stay?", eddie asked but steve shook his head.
"nah, i already stayed over last time i can handle it. it's only 8pm anyway", steve said his inner bi panic taking over.
"alright whatever you want, stevie boy", eddie gave him a little smile while steve already opened the trailer's door and walked to his car. eddie followed him and watched as steve got in his car and started the car's engine.
"get home safely, darling", eddie smirked and waved as he watched steve leaving.
as soon as eddie was out of steve's field of view he frustratedly hit on the steering wheel.
why did he back out? why did he even pointed out eddie's tattoos? it was going so god damn well and now he panicked and backed out again ! of course he didn't plan on telling eddie that he liked him, but he hoped to spend more time with him. a sudden wave of anxiety and an insane amount of pressure took over steve's lungs.
"shit shit shit", steve panicked and hit the breaks in the middle of the road. luckily the road was empty and no cars except for steve's bmw were on the street. what the fuck was even wrong with him? yesterday, he seemed so relaxed after talking to robin about this whole sexuality thing and now it was suddenly not?
what if all the things he seemed to feel towards eddie were just platonic? what if he just thought he liked him but actually he didn't? maybe he just talked himself in being bisexual. he liked girls his entire life, why should that suddenly change within not even two weeks? he had to choose. he liked girls or he liked boys. everyone had to choose, right? you can never have both. steve felt his heart racing before he suddenly remembered robin's words.
"you don't have to choose. even if you feel like you have to, there really is no pressure"
steve groaned and put his head on the steering wheel.
why did he ever start questioning his sexuality? that shit was frustratingly confusing...
he rubbed his temples with his index- and middle fingers, already feeling the headache coming. slowly he started taking shaking but deep breaths, calming down from his almost panic attack. as soon as he would be home, he could sit down on the couch and watch a relaxing movie.
steve sighed and stepped on the gas once again. he handled his feelings alone for so many years, he could also do it alone this time. even though his head felt as if it was filled with cotton, steve tried his best to focus on the street.
when he finally drove into the street where he lived, he heard loud music coming from a house. confused and annoyed, steve scrunched his eyebrows. he hoped to end this day with a relaxing evening on the couch and not staying awake the entire night because one of his neighbours threw a party with loud music filling the entire street.
he drove past his neighbour houses but the music didn't come from any of their homes. finally, his own house came in his sight and steve forgot how to breathe for a second.
lots of cars were parked in front of his driveway and all around the house were colourful lights hung up. not to forget the loud music coming from the garden behind his house.
"it's not real. it cannot be real. this is not happening right now", steve tried to convince himself but even after rubbing his eyes and pinching his skin, the picture in front of him didn't change.
still in disbelieve, steve got out of his car and walked towards his house. the entrance door was wide open and inside was an uncountable amount of people. people from school and people steve had never seen in his life were mixed and he tried his best to push past the dancing, drinking and chattering crowd.
finally he stood in the garden, watching how people have jumped in the pool with their drinks in their hands from which probably half went in the pool's water according to it's red- pink colour.
"hey, harrington! finally! i thought you wouldn't join us anymore", steve suddenly heard the person's voice he was looking for.
"jason! what the fuck! what the actual fuck have you done! i told you that i was busy and didn't want your party at my house!"
"oh yeah, hm. turns out you aren't that busy though and turns out i still needed your house for chrissy's party"
"so you literally fuckin burgled my fuckin house?! what the fuck is wrong with you?! if you don't pack up in 10 minutes i will literally call the police", steve yelled, his blood felt like it was boiling and his head was about to explode. before he could say anything else one of jason's basketball team members turned steve's right arm on his back. steve felt like it was about to break and tears welled up in his eyes.
jason stepped forward and turned steve's face upwards to force eye contact with him.
"and how are you gonna prove to the police that you didn't allow us to have this party at your house? i told every guest that you invited them plus i don't think that your shirt smelling like weed from that freak's trailer adds to your point, harrington. or do you want to put your little friend in danger?"
steve wasn't able to reply anything and instead looked at him with his death stare. jason was right. he couldn't risk, eddie getting in danger and it wasn't worth to call the police if he had no proof. there was only one possibility: he had to stand the night. it was just one night, right?
after a few more seconds of neither jason or steve saying anything, just holding eye contact, jason looked at his friend who still pressed steve's arm on his back, as a sign to let go. the guy let go and steve gritted his teeth to stop any sound coming from him even if his arms felt split in two.
steve left the group behind and walked back inside, upstairs to his room. a guy and a girl were just about to enter steve's room but he immediately stopped them by the girl's arm.
"piss off", steve said tiredly and even though the guy looked at steve as if he was about to throw a punch, the girl quickly pulled him with her down the corridor to another room.
steve entered his room and locked the door behind him. slowly he slid down to the floor with his back against the door before hot tears started to roll down his cheeks. he didn't have the energy to hold it back anymore and the sharp pain in his right arm just made it worse.
slowly he took of his sweater, trying his best to move the arm as little as possible, to take a look at it. when he finally put the sweater to the side, he saw red spots all over his arms, some of them already turned to small blue marks.
"fuck", steve cursed with his stifled voice. without a further thought steve reached for the phone which hung right above him and dialed a number. it took only a few seconds before the phone on the other side got picked up.
"steve? is everything okay?"
"eddie. please, can you come over?", steve almost whispered into the telephone receiver.
————————————————————
FUCK. THIS CHAPTER IS SO LONG 🤡
anywayyy: i hope you enjoyed it <33
to the people worrying that i discontinued this book: No :) and i won't. i will finish it don't worry.
i just relapsed so i wasn't in the mental state to update :D anyway i am better now.
stay excited for the next chapter cuz then the real tea is happening 😌🤝 btw i am already halfway through the next chapter so i'll probably publish it today already hehe