here's a long chapter, in the middle of writing the next chap rn. Enjoy the beginning stages of Eren's pov :)
tw: mentions of suicide/suicidal thoughts
* * * * *
Jean pulled up to Mikasa's dorm building, it wasn't much further than yours. Approximately a five-minute drive. Eren was in the backseat, slumped over with how badly his head was pounding.
Mikasa reached for the door handle, "Alright."
"Good night, Mikasa," Jean sincerely said.
"Good night, Jean." Mikasa spared Eren a look over her shoulder, "Good night, Eren."
Eren got out of the car to head to the passenger, Mikasa got out as well. He wrapped his arms around his childhood friend, "Good night, Mikasa. Sorry about worrying you."
Mikasa hugged back, "It's okay. I'll always be there. I'm happy you protected Y/n."
Eren let her go, a snicker passing his lips, "Look at you being all lovey dovey after that girl."
Mikasa frowned, "I care about Y/n, she's my best friend. I wouldn't want anything bad to ever happen to her. I wish I was there though. I would've cut Willy's fingers off myself."
Eren knew that hearing a threat of that magnitude from Mikasa's mouth was one he should cower in fear for, but he nodded as if it were the right thing to say.
Eren eyed the ravenette for a moment, thinking how crazy it was that a few years ago, he had the biggest crush ever on that girl. Now, he didn't see her that way. He wasn't exactly sure what made him stop thinking of her romantically, but he didn't love her any less.
Once he learned through Armin that Mikasa began to develop feelings, it was too late. Eren was already a foot out the door on that conquest. It wasn't like he loved anybody else, or even that something like love came easy to him.
He'd always remember Mikasa as his best friend, though, and his first love.
So when she waved good night and headed to the building door, Eren couldn't help but pity the girl for feeling the way she did for him. After everything she'd done for him, she deserved what she hoped for in the very least.
Eren hopped into the passenger seat, reclining the seat back and crossing his arms.
Jean started to drive towards Eren's apartment, "You tired?"
"A little, why?" Eren yawned.
Jean scratched his nose, "I was going to ask if we could play a round or two of 2k."
Eren mumbled, "Yeah, I'm down. I got beer and shit too."
Jean waved off the offer, "Nah, can't drink. I have to drive back home after."
Eren smiled to himself, "Ah, good boy."
"Ew, Jaeger, don't call me that," Jean grimaced.
Eren poked at his friend, "Why? You have something else in mind?"
Jean laughed, "Get the fuck out."
Eren joined in as they pulled up to his apartment and headed inside. With how much money he made as a surgeon, Grisha had bought out a luxurious condo just a few minutes from the university for Eren. He figured it would be a convenient five-minute commute rather than the thirty minute one from his and Dina's home.
The two boys entered the condo, setting up Eren's play station to play video games. They kicked back on the couch in the living room.
"So, how bad did Tybur look?" Jean asked.
Eren pondered, "Let's just say red isn't the best hair color on him."
Jean wheezed, "You're sick."
Eren shrugged, "He pissed me off. Did you see her arm? I should've snapped his in half for that."
Jean shivered a bit, "I did. And I'll kill that douchebag whenever I see him next. Thanks for keeping her safe. I owe you one." Eren shook his head and Jean then asked, "What did he want from her anyway?"
Eren once again shrugged as if he had no clue, which was quite the opposite—he knew far more than anyone else did. "Dunno. Shouldn't you be asking her? She's your girlfriend after all."
Jean scratched the back of his neck, "About that. We're on a break."
Eren felt a strange sensation running up his back, "What? Since when?
"A week," Jean groaned. "We agreed to split up for a bit. Timing was just off, y'know."
Nodding, Eren felt warm, almost like he was relieved. Hold up, why did he even think that? Jean's his fucking best friend.
"That's too bad," Eren focused on his avatar on the screen. "You better get your act together though if you want any girl."
Jean frowned a little humorously before defending himself, "What are you talking about?"
"I could take a guess on why she wants a break," the clicks and taps of his controller played behind Eren's lecture. "It starts with Mi and ends with sa."
Jean's eyes darted from their corners towards his friend, all chill and laid back as he continued to play the game. "Mikasa has nothing to do with me and Y/n."
"Yeah, okay," sarcasm slipped from his lips like a name of a familiar comrade.
"I'm serious, Mikasa and I are just friends. I'm over her, I've tried burying my feelings and I know I'll get there eventually, especially because she's in love with you. But I think the chance of losing Y/n, it made me want to fight even more for her."
Eren stiffened in his seat, "Right. Which is good." The words weren't as honeyed as he wanted them to be, "Better be quick or else you're not getting anybody."
Jean flung his arm out to punch Eren at his horrible attempt of a joke. And just like that, the two best friends went back to playfighting and playing videogames like before.
* * * * *
Curled up in bed, you were reading a book you'd been meaning to finish for a while now. Although you were at a party earlier, it proved to be a lot more draining than it needed to be.
Your phone started buzzing, frightening you to the point of nearly falling from the bed. When you the read the contact name—
"Mace?"
"Hi, how are you?" your brother greeted you.
"I'm . . . good. What about you?" you looked around. "Is everything alright? It's really late."
"I'm okay," he replied. "Lara and I are back together."
You blinked, unsure why he felt the need to call you at one in the morning to tell you he got back with his psycho ex.
"And she told me something interesting," he ominously said.
Suddenly, your heart stopped. Now you knew why he called—it had only been a few hours. How could you forget?
"What the fuck are you doing at parties and with Eren Jaeger?" he lowly growled. "Do you even know anything about that asshole? He's bad news."
You could feel your chest tightening, "I'm not dating him. Why would you believe anything that comes out of Lara's mouth. You know I don't lie. I barely know the kid. I just have some friends who know him."
"That's Zeke's little brother—I know him better than you ever could," your brother spat. "I believe you though. I'm putting my trust in you that you're not lying. But if you ever break that trust, I'll kill you before I get to Jaeger."
Then suddenly the line dropped.
You dropped your phone on your bed, trembling. Being away from home clearly wasn't enough when it came to your older brother.
You were closing your eyes as you thought of how you definitely had to stay away from Eren. Your thoughts were cut short when your phone rang again. It was him, the boy you just vowed to stay away from.
"Hello?" you picked up.
"Hey, are you busy?" he asked ever so coolly.
Eyes wandering around the room, you replied, "No, why?"
"Are you down to go to Bellflower with me?" he asked, quite direct on the delivery.
You scratched your head, knowing you shouldn't. You closed your eyes. Just tell him no—Mikasa doesn't deserve this.
"Please," he begged.
"Uh, yeah, sure." You almost wanted to slam your head against the wall for the words that came out involuntarily.
"Okay," he replied, his voice low. "I'm outside your apartment so just come down."
You jolted, "What?" You rolled out of bed and peered out your window, seeing Eren outside his car, leaning against it while having his phone pressed to his ear. "You're a freak. What if I said no?"
He couldn't completely see the little smirk on your face, but he could tell by the tone of your voice. He replied, "I'd ask Pieck instead."
The frown on your face was one he could see, "Shut up, I'll be down in five minutes."
You hung up the phone and drew your drapes shut. Not much thought went into what you were doing before you quickly changed into something not as unflattering as your fluffy pajama pants with snowmen patterned over it.
You cursed yourself, "I don't even have any makeup on—"
You paused, why did you care about looking nice? It was Eren.
Trying to push the thought up to stop yourself, you realized you just couldn't. So you did a light look as quickly as possible.
Once you were done, you spared a look back at the duck sitting on your bed. A little smile on your face before you headed out to the boy who won the animal for you.
"That was a lot longer than five minutes," he scoffed when you finally walked towards him. "Were you getting ready for a beauty pageant?"
You placed your hands on your hips, "I don't know. Were you getting ready to pick up trash?"
He scoffed, "You know I look good right now. That's why you took your sweet time getting down here."
You rolled your eyes, jeering, "As if. I'm just excited to see that one hot professor that goes there."
He opened the driver's door, scoffing once more as you also got in, "Technically I am picking up trash."
When he beckoned to you, you whined, "Hey!" He laughed it off and your eyes zeroed in on his bandaged hands and the bandaids on his face. Still the Hello Kitty ones. "Does it still hurt?"
You didn't even realize that your left hand went to his cheek and your right one to his arm. He batted his lashes, "It's fine. I'm used to the pain. Not really used to being patched up with Hello Kitty. My go-to are Cinderella bandages."
You let go of him, "Sometimes I wonder how you're the son of a doctor if you can't take care of your own cuts."
"My dad carves out hearts for a living," he illustrated. "I'll be fine. I don't need my mother to come running to wipe my blood away."
You crossed your arms, "Surgeons don't do that. And—isn't your dad a neurosurgeon? He wouldn't have anything to do with hearts then."
Eren narrowed his eyes, "Stop being a smartass. If I'm trying to have a badass moment, you let me have it. That's how it works around here."
You fake hailed to him, "My apologies, my lord."
Eren smugly smirked even though he knew you were being completely sarcastic. You hadn't had the time to go to the bookshop in a while. You had gone by yourself two or three times, but you still missed it. Maybe it felt incomplete by yourself.
It was only a five-minute drive from where you lived, it was quite convenient how close everything was. You both got out of the car, and you were greeted by the late-night breeze when you entered the little Maria village square.
Without even realizing it, your face lit up when you saw the familiar surroundings. The statue in the middle of the plaza, the bricked flooring, the short streetlights with potted flowers dangling from them, the little garden benches, and the lights pouring out from all the little shops.
Your eyes flitted towards Eren who was also engrossed by the scenery. The emerald of his eyes was faint in the night, yet you could see the glow in them as he gazed around in comfort.
You smiled, looking away and continuing to look as you approached the shop together. When you stepped inside, the scent of bakery sweets and coffee infiltrated your senses. And when you looked at the brown single seater straight ahead, you noticed a familiar individual there.
"Professor Ackerman?" your eyes widened.
The short, dark-haired man, set down his herbal tea. His eyes lifted from his book to see you and Eren just a step ahead of the threshold, "L/N, Jaeger, what are you two doing here?"
"You can drop the act, Professor," Eren said bluntly.
You gasped, "Dude—that's our teacher."
Levi slowly blinked, "That I am. But I suppose if we aren't in the classroom, I'll tell you how much of a pain in the ass you've been."
Your jaw dropped and Eren used two of his fingers to lift your jaw back shut, "He's a family friend, I've known Levi for years."
You turned back to Levi who nodded grimly, "Oh, now a lot is starting to make sense."
Levi furrowed his brows, "Y/n, you're a smart girl. Why would you date an idiot like Eren?"
"Date?" you pointed at the boy next to you. "Him? Never. I'd never be that much of an idiot."
Eren frowned, a bit offended, "Oh, why don't you run a knife through my chest while you're at it."
You bared your teeth in guilt, and Levi spoke, "Oh, with how much you flirt during class time, I would've thought you were together. It's almost two a.m. and you both showed up here alone . . . together."
Eren narrowed his eyes, "You're a little too interested in what I do, aren't you?"
Levi groaned, "Your father told me to keep a close eye on you. Same would go for your brother if he weren't in Marley."
Eren huffed to Levi, "Isn't it past your bedtime?"
Levi scowled, "I was finishing grading your exams." He stood up, looking back at a worker, "Good night, Farlan. Wish Isabel my best." He started to walk towards the door, he whispered to you, "Don't date Eren, you'll dodge a bullet. Good night, and good job on your exam."
He left and you turned to Eren, "I can't date you, sorry."
Scowling, he replied, "Don't make me cry. What did you get on Levi's exam, anyway?"
You laughed at his sarcasm before reaching for your phone. He was doing the same as he led the way upstairs. You saw your score on your screen and smiled, "Ninety-four. But you definitely got higher."
"Me getting higher is going to ruin your ninety-four?" Eren raised a brow.
As you entered the vacant area the two of you sat in last time by the comics, you groaned, "Yeah, you almost always beat me. I won't feel like I won."
Eren chuckled, "Well, sorry to rain on your parade, but I got a—" he abruptly stopped talking when he looked at his phone, "ninety-two."
You spun around, "I . . . won? I beat you?! Ha! This feels great. I feel like I'm in heaven."
Eren smiled, tucking his phone away so you wouldn't see the ninety-six on his score sheet. He passed you a comic and you opened it as you sat next to each other.
"You're an idiot," he chuckled. You rolled your eyes as you both immersed into the plotline of the comic.
You paid attention to his facial expressions as you read together. The little smiles, little crinkles in his eyes, and the little furrows of his eyebrows. This was a nice feeling, a comfortable one. The little leap in your nerves made your heart palpate and you couldn't understand why that was happening, especially when you just concluded you felt safe.
"Then she gets shot," Eren interrupted your thoughts.
You jerked in place, "What?"
Eren pointed at the book, "Barbara gets shot right now by the Joker. We were just talking about how she can't be Batgirl anymore and winds up in a wheelchair."
The distant and dazed look on your face made him click his tongue against his teeth, "Dude, what are you doing? You told me you're obsessed with Oracle."
Your palm flew to massage your forehead, "I am—I was just thinking about something."
"About what?"
You looked at him, "Why did you call me at one in the morning? Something had to have happened."
He blankly stared at you as he shrugged, "I like hanging out with you."
You smiled, "You think I'm cool."
"Cool? You?" he ludicrously pointed. "Don't make me laugh."
"It's the truth, Jaeger," you smirked. "You just admitted that you like spending time with me."
"Those are words that never came out of my mouth," Eren chuckled. "Are you forgetting how you could barely contain your excitement when I called you?"
Your jaw dropped, "That was not excitement. I was shocked and thought someone stole your phone or something."
"When making up a cover story," he leaned in, "try to make it believable. Or at least be a better liar. You're not that good at it."
"For your information, I am a brilliant liar," your features twisted in repulsion. "You must've hit your head or something when we were at the party cuz apparently I owe you all my time now."
He slowly looked you up and down, "Oh trust me, this isn't me having you pay me back. If it were, we would be in a bed with the lights off, not here."
Your eyes widened. You always had caught Eren eyeing you but you thought it was out of repulsion, not attraction. This was just him pushing your buttons, and you knew better.
"Stop being gross," you knitted your brows.
"I'm just saying, I wouldn't mind even if it weren't you paying me back," Eren said, he shut the comic and set it aside. "You know you wouldn't mind it either 'cuz you think I'm hot too."
"Huh?" you glowered at him, "Did you really just say I'm hot?"
"It's no secret," Eren kept his eyes on you. "I mean, Jean thinks so. The other guys think so. And it's true but don't let that go to your head."
He flicked his finger against your temple and you hissed, "I know I'm hot. I'm just shocked you admitted to being attracted to me."
"Just said not to let it go to your head," he repeated. "You don't have to say anything about what you think about me. It's okay, I already know."
He had a prideful smirk until you said, "Great, now I don't have to tell you just how much I hate you." When his expression turned sour, you pouted, "Oh, don't cry about it now. Besides, I'm not one of your little girls of the week."
"Girl of the week?" he chuckled. "You'd have to be special to earn an entire week."
You smacked him with a book, "God, you're disgusting."
He laughed, eyes closing at how easily he riled you up, "I'm just messing with you. You're the biggest dork I've ever known."
You pursed your lips and watched as he stood up. He held his hand out for you to take, "Well, come on. Let's go look at other books."
You gave him your hand and got up to follow him to the other sections in the Bookshop. In the meantime, the worker that Levi was speaking to earlier—Farlan—had come up to ask what the two of you wanted to eat. Both of you gave him your order and he returned downstairs, leaving you and Eren alone up there again.
Eren watched as you walked among the books like they were your companions. Paying close attention to the way you'd describe a certain series to him and when you'd read certain quotes you enjoyed out loud to him.
"So, he ends up dying in the end. Cool story, huh?" you quizzed.
Eren blinked, "Yeah, sick." Rolling his eyes, he added, "Mikasa loves that one, too."
You felt your limbs go numb . . . Mikasa . . . how would she react if she knew what you were thinking? And Jean too? You tucked the book back onto the shelf.
He cleared his throat, stepping towards the back of the second floor, "They sell vinyl records too here."
"They do?" you watched as he pointed towards the crates lined up, filed with hundreds of records.
You rushed over, thumbing through them as he picked up a marker to draw on the whiteboard. You grinned, "I've got to bring Mikasa and Hitch here. They've got their favorite artists."
Eren doodled on the board, "They've got some of mine too."
You walked towards him, "That's cool." You noticed him drawing little skulls and you picked up a purple marker to draw something of your own.
Eren's eyes zeroed in on you carving out a wing of a butterfly and he pointed, "You really like butterflies."
"Mhm," you hummed, glancing at him. "I have a thing for them."
Eren gazed at you while you continued to draw. Butterflies were beautiful creatures, majestic and vibrant. They signified many more complex things too. He could see why you liked them so much.
"I could tell, you wear that necklace a lot and you were chasing butterflies with Sasha at the park," he bluntly said.
You lifted your marker from the surface of the board, "Oh."
"Yeah," he started to draw a dove, "You should chase this instead."
You scoffed, "Birds? I'd rather die."
"You're scared of birds?" he laughed.
Your jaw went slack, "Uh, yeah. Have you seen their beady little eyes? And they fly all over the place. Easily as scary as clowns."
He laughed his pretty laugh, although it was a lot louder than any time before, "I knew you were a loser."
Your arm flung out to swat his bicep, "Will you shut up? God, you're annoying."
He kept laughing and before you knew it, you were laughing along with him.
Then Farlan returned with your drinks and cheese danishes, cutting your moment short as you rushed to sit down and eat.
"So you liked CSI and stuff when you were little?" you asked while munching on your danish, bringing up something to change the subject. You recalled him telling you that he was into mysteries and stuff like that growing up.
"Yeah," he nodded. "My mom made me this detective costume for Halloween when I was little too."
"You have pictures?" you lit up.
"Not with me," he responded. "Back in my house I do."
"I want to see," you both were sitting on the carpeted floor. "I wanna see how different baby Eren looked."
He rolled his eyes, "You should've seen Armin with his bowl cut."
You laughed, "No way. He had one?"
Eren nodded. And as your laughter finally died off, you fell quiet. You looked back at him as he looked through some of the disks you were showing him.
He then murmured under his breath while looking at an album you showed him, "That looks awesome."
You flipped the cover to look at it. There was a steam engine on it, red and dull looking. The deep red gave it its character, that much you could infer.
"You like trains?" you sat up straight.
"I love them," he told you as-a-matter-of-factly. "You could say I have a thing for them."
You giggled at him stealing your line, "Why do you like them?"
"I used to sneak out before I could drive, took the train everywhere," he enlightened. "Sat there by myself listening to music and looking out the window. It was fun being alone—like I was an adventurer or something."
"That sounds like so much fun. I used to take the train with my mom but haven't in years," you beamed at him. "Do your headphones have noise cancellation?" you pointed at the black headset around his neck.
He pulled his phone out, unlocking it and opening his music app before handing it to you, "Pick a song."
Your bottom lip jutted out humorously as you scrolled through artists and made your pick. He slipped the headset off from his neck and you pulled your own phone out and your less fancier earphones from your pocket, "I want you to listen with me."
He shook his head at how childish you sounded and how excited you got when he put his headphones over your ears, and you put yours on his.
The song you picked for the test run was "Heavenly" by Cigarettes After Sex because the instruments in it would tell much more as to how good the headphones worked. You clicked the play button on each of your phones as the song finally started. Eren watched as your hands raised to press your palms against the back of his hands on the earpieces of the headset.
You jolted a little bit and laughed at how it sounded like the song was being played inside your head. The notes reverberating around each corner of your mind. Eren listened with you as he watched how you laughed with amazement.
Since your headphones weren't noise cancelling, he could hear the soft melody of your laughter with the beat of the song. You rocked your head to the rhythm, feeling the warmth of his hands touching yours against the sides of the headphones.
It was like a concert was going on inside the hollows of your lungs, your bloodstream carrying the strum of each guitar string straight to your brain.
Slowly, the song began to end. And as the final notes were dying off, you both had the widest grins on your faces. You pulled the headset off and handed it back to him.
"I need to get a pair of those," you let out a breathy exhale.
Eren handed you yours back, "Remind me to never use these again."
"They aren't so bad," you yanked them back. "You won't ever have to worry about using my crappy headphones ever again. You should feel honored I even let you."
"What are you royalty or something?" he interrogated teasingly.
You rolled your eyes, "You're lucky I didn't play a sappy love song or a song about death."
He shook his head at you, a softened look in his hooded eyes. "You ready to go?" he suddenly asked.
You looked at him, "Sure."
You began picking up the two books you wanted to buy as you headed down. He took them from your hands.
"Eren—"
He didn't even look at you, "I'm paying."
"You don't have to—" you began to argue.
Eren already handed his card and the books to Farlan, "Don't listen to her. I'm paying."
"Thirty-seven ninety-eight," Farlan read the price after scanning.
Eren smirked down at you after Farlan packed them in a bag and handed it over. You both walked out, back into the village square.
When you both found yourselves completely alone out in the square, you looked back at the bus stop, "I'm taking the bus."
"No," he sharply said. "Remember last time I said you're not allowed to take the bus back when I'm here. Unless you're in the mood to get kidnapped."
"I was kidding," you rolled your eyes. "Jeez, you really know how to suck the life out of somebody."
"And you know how to piss people off," he drearily quarreled.
"Um, Eren?"
He stopped in his tracks, facing you.
"Thank you for everything. I'm happy we're friends," you said, a sincere tone in your voice. Eren's pupils were blown but he didn't say anything. The moonlight glid along his tanned skin, reflecting white against the bandaids on his cheeks. You then furrowed your brows, "Stop that."
"Stop what?"
"Staring at me like that," you clarified. "I hate when you do that."
He kept staring before he looked to the side with a little upward flick of his lips, "It's late. I don't want you to lose any sleep."
"Aww, you're concerned about my sleep schedule?" you cooed, following behind him into the vacant parking lot.
Approaching his car, he remarked, "No, because if you don't get enough sleep, you're cranky. I'm not in the mood to deal with your little tantrums in the morning."
You frowned, "I don't throw tantrums."
Eren chuckled, poking your forehead when you got in the car, "Yeah, you kind of do."
"What?" you slapped his hand away. "No way."
"Yup, you do. You're super OTC about everything," he said all smartly.
"OTC?" you questioned.
"Yeah," he nodded.
"Over the counter?" you indicated sassily.
"Oh—"
"Yeah, 'oh'. How come you're such a dumbass?" you cackled.
Eren tried to defend himself, "It was an honest mistake—not a big deal."
"Not a big deal? You just confused a disorder with buying stuff from a store," you laughed as he had the most childish frown on his face.
"It's not even funny—anyway, don't you have a curfew or something? I thought your family was tracking your every move," he chuckled.
"Oh, you're hilarious," you sardonically muttered.
He pridefully shrugged, "I know. It's what you love most about me."
You had your arms folded as you quizzed, "Who said I loved you?"
"How could you not after I beat the shit out of that guy for you?" he shot at you.
Your eyes reeled to the side, "If anything you're the one who's in love. You beat Willy."
"Only an idiot would be in love with you," he joked. "Do I look like an idiot to you?"
"Yes, actually, you do, Mr. OTC," you enunciated his previous slip up. "Sometimes I wonder how the hell you pass in school."
"Hey, I'm smart," he used his thumb to point at himself. "You're an idiot who winds up in stupid situations all the time."
"Am not," you snapped. "The amount of stupid things I've witnessed you do I can't even count." Eren's eyes widened, and you jolted, "What?"
"Your neck," he looked horrified. "There's—there's a chip on it!"
"Enough!" you cried, laughing as he did too. "If there were a chip in my neck, it would lead Mason straight to you."
Eren wrapped his hands around his own throat to imitate strangling, "Kill me now." He then paused and he witnessed you throw your head back in laughter. "If he does ever show up here and I see him near you, I'd do worse than I did to Tybur."
Your smile dropped, blinking slow. "Eren," you seriously muttered. "I know I hate him but he's my family."
"I don't like that he is," Eren put his hands down.
You wanted to agree, but you looked down, "Can I tell you something?"
"Yes," his eyes fell to yours.
You still weren't looking at him, "I wanted to be the one that died in that crash. I was jealous Aria got to die. I don't think I ever told anyone about that before."
He clenched his jaw, swallowing a bit to your sudden proclamation, "How come?"
"I hated myself before it, I only learned to hate myself more after it," you softly spoke.
Eren stared at you through the darkness of the vacant parking lot. Your eyes were lowered and he could feel your heart bleeding in the silence that carried after your words.
Eren exhaled lightly, "Can I tell you something?"
You looked at him and nodded. He went ahead and confessed, "I've been praying for my own heart to stop every night since I was fifteen."
Your nose twitched as you looked into his desolate eyes. You never imagined someone as careless and reckless as him could have carried such a heavy toll in his mind. Having a sick mother since a young age, a father who was rarely around, estranged older brother and stepmother, and how he didn't like to interact with friends growing up.
It made you question if there was even a day of comfort in this boy's life at all. Even if he was granted a minute's worth of peace.
You had a difficult childhood too. While it may have seemed like the perfect cookie cutter life to those on the outside, the walls of your house were caving in. And only the residents within could see the debris.
Eren then shrugged, "We were confessing our darkest secrets so I figured. Not trying to sound all morbid."
"You're not, I started it," you assured. "Others finding out more about me gives me anxiety. I usually feel embarrassed, but I think you understand better than anyone ever could. As embarrassing as it is to say."
His tongue slid along his top lip, "I never tell anyone else anything. Armin from time to time, but not how I do with you. I feel the same."
You shook your head, "I like seeing you like this." He raised a brow and you corrected, "I mean being honest. Lying about your feelings can only get you so far."
He looked at you before he exhaled a sharp yet agreeing exhale through his nostrils, "I could say the same thing about you. You seem more human when you're not trying to act perfect. Not like you're lying about stuff either."
You beamed, a glow in your eyes as did. He faced forward, "I'll let you get your beauty sleep now, heaven knows you need it."
Your mouth fell open, "Why do you have to say stupid shit all the time? We were just connecting spiritually."
"I don't believe in spirits," Eren tipped his head with a smirk while driving.
"Not ghosts," you whined. "Like a heart to heart. I was just learning that you aren't some soulless bastard."
With half lidded eyes and a frown, he said, "If that's what you believe, you don't know me as well as you think you do then."
"You don't always have to pretend to be some proud jackass all the time," you bit, poison laced in your voice.
A few moments of silence passed and Eren's voice dropped an octave, "I don't know how else to be."
You looked at him, letting the quiet aura dwindle as you felt a presence of deep-rooted emotions within him wrapping around his throat.
The tailgate party on your third night in Paradis came to mind, and how you and Eren had a quarrel by the pool. And how he mentioned for you to not boss him around the way a mother would. It was all because of losing his own mom.
Truth was, you weren't even scolding as a mother, you were doing it to point out his wrongs. And in all honesty, you had been infatuated with him since the moment you saw him. The party was indeed a setback, making you rethink everything.
But ever since you both became friends, you felt so free. It was something you never felt an ounce of with your family. Only one you believed understood you was your younger brother, but for Eren to not pity you but rather understand you—it felt nice. And talking to him and being next to him felt liberating. Like you were breathing for the first time.
You were a little shocked that Jean had not been brought up in your conversations with him at all tonight. It made you wonder if Jean ever told him you weren't even with him. Not that it could ever matter.
Your brother made his words clear. Mikasa—your best friend—was in love. Jean was Eren's best friend. And Eren didn't seem the type to even settle. He was definitely still hooking up with girls.
He pulled into your dorm parking lot, putting the car in park as that silence still lingered. "Hey," he finally said. A brief pause as you gazed into his eyes, "Jean is a good guy. But he doesn't know what he wants."
"Why are you telling me this?" you breathed.
He said nothing in response. Your brows pinched as you looked out the front window. His warning made you a little weary of everything.
You pulled the receipt from the bag of books he bought you, "I'm paying you back for the books."
"No," he grabbed the slip of paper harshly from your hand.
You hissed when the thin sheet of paper grazed your index finger. Instinctively, you held your pointer finger. He noticed the red seeping through the slice on your hand. On your opposite hand was the bruise from just a short four hours ago.
The different colors on your skin made his heart drop and he immediately opened the glove compartment, "Shit, I'm sorry."
"It's fine," you brushed off. "Just a papercut. Not a big deal."
He pulled out a small pink box and you watched while he pulled a small bandaid from the package. It was from the same pack you bought from the drug mart
Wordlessly, Eren grabbed your hand, wrapping the bandaid around your finger. Goosebumps rippled atop the skin of your arms and you were relieved you were in a hoodie.
His touch felt more healing than the bandaid.
You felt him stop and gaze at you. Emerald glinting around his pupils as his lips parted. He let you go, "My bad."
You hooked your hand around the handle of the door, "Don't worry about it, Jaeger. I'm stronger than you give me credit for."
"It's a papercut," he pointed blankly. "I didn't stab you."
You snapped, "I survived a head on collision. It looks like death doesn't even want me. I thought your facts would've been straight by now."
He cracked up, "Go to sleep. You're acting like an idiot."
"You act like an idiot rain or shine," you opened the door, taunting him. "I'm the least of your worries."
Eren had a mischievous grin, "Bye, dummy."
"Bye, stupid," you got out of the car. After you shut the door and walked to the building, you waved at him over your shoulder.
Returning a sincere wave back, he watched you stepped through.
* * * * *
Every few days, you and the girls would go to the gym together after your morning classes. You regretted agreeing to letting Mikasa guide you because her workouts were far too intense for your sake. If you didn't know anything about her besides her workout routine, you'd think she was a fitness coach—or a marine.
Mikasa was busy lifting weights while you and Sasha were not too far from her. You were seated on the mats with your backs against the wall as Sasha munched on a cookie and you had your head on her shoulder, sleeping.
"Phew," Historia drank from her water bottle. She caught sight of you against the wall and pointed, "Is she okay?"
Mikasa sighed, "Yeah, she sleeps the most out of everyone I know."
Sasha patted your head, "Wake up, sleeping beauty. Jean, Eren and Connie are coming to pick us up to go to the library."
You groaned, "Ugh, five more minutes."
"No," Mikasa walked over. "We're going to Sasha's and my place to shower and get ready. Come on."
She tugged you while you pouted childishly. After that, you headed to their dorm, using their shower and getting ready before you got into Sasha's bed to sleep a bit more. Going to classes in the morning then the gym right after sort of knocked the wind out of you.
"Hey, Sasha?" Mikasa asked while they were folding clothes in the brunette's room. "Have you noticed Eren's been acting kind of weird?"
Sasha faced her, "Now that you mention it, yeah. Do you think it's because of a girl?"
Mikasa shook her head, "I don't know. Historia would've found out already."
You closed your eyes, not responding to them. Sasha walked out and you were left alone with Mikasa.
You propped your head up using your elbow, "Mikasa? What makes you think Eren is acting weird?"
Mikasa had a straight face as she kept folding her clothes, "He's been seeing us all more. A little more smiley."
"And why would Historia know anything about it?" you curiously asked.
Mikasa shrugged, "Historia knows just about everything about everyone. She always told me if Eren was with a girl or not. That's why Eren had a fight with her. She never minded her business but she was always doing it for me."
You raised your brows, "Mikasa, you're in love with Eren, but have you ever told him?"
"Well, no," she said. "I noticed you and him are better friends now."
You retracted, a little caught off guard at her bringing it up while you were talking about crushes, "Uh, I guess. We just don't fight as much anymore."
"Can you do something for me?" she asked, her cold eyes radiating a pleading warmth. You stared at her wide-eyed as she requested, "Can you find out if there is a girl? And if Eren does like me back?"
For a fleeting moment, your heart stopped. A girl?
You had an awful feeling that you knew who the girl was. And you wanted to tell her that you weren't close to Eren at all and you couldn't be bothered. She probably saw your relationship with Eren the same as how she viewed his and Sasha's. Platonic and soulful.
When you were with Eren, it felt like something else was going on. Maybe you were reading too much into it, but since the park, you've felt a strange connection with him.
So as you stared back at your close friend, you nodded, "Of course. I'll find out for you."
She smiled, "I owe you one." Then, she returned to folding her laundry, a gentle and calm look on her features as she continued doing so. Like her peace would always remain uninterrupted.
You turned away as you pulled the blanket over you. Your heartbeat fizzling into a sickening chill as you stared at the wall till your eyes stung.
You only managed five minutes of rest before you heard Eren and Jean come in. Mikasa seemed busy in cleaning the kitchen while Sasha was trying to shove the mess of clothes back into her closet.
You kept your eyes closed, hopefully they'd take their sweet time before they decided they wanted to head out.
"Get up, no one's planning on carrying you to the car," a voice crooned from the door. You were half expecting it to be Jean, but Eren was the one that stood there, his arms folded as he leaned against the threshold of the door. His temple was against the door frame as he had a sly smirk painted on his face.
You groaned, sitting up straight, "Ugh, it's you."
Eren frowned, "Yeah, it's me. Are you waiting for Jean to come in and kiss you awake?"
You rolled your eyes, "Stop being gross."
Eren tilted his head, he didn't realize how much pleasure he got out of teasing you, "Uh oh. Trouble in paradise?"
You got out of Sasha's bed, fixing it and trudging over to the boy, "Aren't you and Jean best friends? You're telling me he hasn't told you?"
And just like that, he gained that same apathetic look he always had on. That look told you his answer. You rubbed your head, "Let's go."
Since the other night, you couldn't get any of yours or Eren's conversations out of your head. You felt closer to him than you did to anyone else. And the mere mention of Jean and you made you mad.
You walked out of Sasha's room to where Jean and the girls were. Jean smiled upon seeing you, "Hey, what's up?"
"Nothing really. You?" you beckoned to him as he stood up to follow you out with Mikasa.
"I'm good. You look tired," he said.
You flicked your wrist as Sasha hopped into the passenger seat of Eren's car, "I'm fine."
Jean got into the back with you and Mikasa while Eren took the driver's seat next to Sasha. You felt a bit odd being between Mikasa and Jean. It felt much more figurative than literal.
Mikasa was acting as her natural self, it was more of Jean's eyes you felt lingering on both of you. Like he was registering his options. It made you feel sick.
The next hour went by painfully slow. With trying to get all your work done, you felt your own sanity slipping the longer you stared at your screen.
So you stood up, walking over to look at some of the novels in the thriller section of the Sina library. From where you stood, you found Eren in the same section, eyeing books as well.
You neared him, "What are you looking at?"
"This book," he said, a bit sharply because of how plain the answer was.
You bent down to look at it, "Oh, I've read that one. It's pretty good."
"I guess," Eren flipped the cover to reread the synopsis on the back. "But you made me not want to read it."
"What?" you flipped. "Why? I just said it was good."
Eren's eyes enlarged, "Exactly. Can't trust a word that comes out of your mouth."
You placed your hands on your hips, "Fine. You're missing out though. Not my problem."
You turned to face the shelf again, pondering as you skimmed along the frame of it. Eren studied you, making sure you didn't notice he was, "I haven't had fun like last night in a while," he stated, standing to face you.
You slightly smiled, "Me too." You lowered your eyes, "Can I ask you something?" He nodded and you proceeded to ask, "Why did you beat up Historia's boyfriend before summer?"
He slid his tongue along the back side of his teeth, looking anywhere but at you, "He pissed me off. Was asking too many personal questions."
Without much thought, you stepped back. He raised a brow and you said, "Well, I should probably start running before you beat me up too."
He didn't take the humor in your statement as lightly as you did, his face twisted, "I'd never do that to you."
The look on your face was one he was far too familiar with. The liveliness in your eyes would die down when you thought someone wasn't looking. He could feel your fatigue as your eyes swept across the library once more to return to the rest of the group.
Jean had shot you with a soft smile while you took your seat next to him again, "You found what you were looking for?"
You glanced over your shoulder, seeing Eren coming back to the big table to sit next to Mikasa, "Yeah. I did."
The athlete opened up his textbook, listening as you helped him through his homework. The entire time, you found your eyes drifting back towards Mikasa and Eren studying together. And when he was sure you weren't looking, Eren's eyes always found their way back to you.
"I'm bored," Sasha sighed. "Let's do something."
You frowned, "We got here like an hour ago. What do you want to do?"
Jean jumped at the opportunity to leave, "Scouts—the plaza. The arcade, roller skating, diner—everything. I missed out last time."
Connie and Sasha immediately agreed, then Mikasa looked at Eren, "You want to go?"
Eren shrugged, "Uh, I don't. . . "
You smiled at Jean, "Okay, let's go."
Eren then nodded at Mikasa, "Actually, yeah let's go."
Mikasa began packing her books like the rest of you were, "Okay, let's text everyone and meet up there."
You wasted no time in slamming your books shut, getting up with a lot more energy than you had before.
Since Connie had come separately in his own car, he took Sasha and you while Eren took Jean and Mikasa.
Everyone in the group chat was able to come to the hangout and needless to say, you were both shocked and excited. Even Nicolo was coming. And since him and Sasha were going out now, you could get to know Nicolo a bit better since he was dating one of your close friends.
"Yay, everyone's here," Historia was standing next to Annie and Ymir.
Reiner was coming back from the laser tag help desk, "It's been a while, hasn't it?"
"You book a game already?" Armin was coming in with Marco.
Bertholdt nodded next to Nicolo, "Ten minutes."
Eren raised his brows, "Perfect timing."
"Okay . . . we don't have an even number of boys and girls," Reiner grinned. "We have time to pick teams. And I pick Y/n."
Mikasa kept a straight face, "Who said you're captain again?"
Reiner stood there with his jaw hanging low, Connie raised his hand, "I call captain."
Then Eren stepped in, "I'm the other captain." Everyone looked around, shrugging and letting the boy take the first role.
Mikasa began to take a step in his direction, assuming she'd be his first pick, but he announced, "I pick Y/n."
Brows raised, you went to stand beside him. Everyone was groaning in the back on already losing you in the first round. You caught a glimpse of Mikasa's flustered face as she looked down.
It was time for the first game to start, and you all got busy in searching for the exact vests as last time and to your surprise, you found your pride and joy. Phoenix.
Sasha threw her arms around you and Eren, "Are my hot sushi bitches ready to take down the thundercats?"
Ah, Sasha and Connie's stupid team names. How could you forget?
"Your boyfriend's one of the thundercats," you narrowed your eyes, smirking.
Sasha inhaled deeply, "He'll understand. It's for the good of humanity."
Eren cheesed, "Ah, yes, humanity. Now make sure you actually shoot Nicolo."
Sasha scoffed, "I am not a weak woman. I could shoot him."
Armin and Annie shrugged along with the rest of the blue team. Then, overhead the announcement went off, "Welcome to Scouts Laser Arena. Let the game commence in three, two, one!"
A horn went off right after and you all rushed into the maze. You ran in, taking a right. You noticed a red vest coming into view, you pulled your trigger several times. The deactivating sound of your opponent's vest finally pulled you to see who it was.
Mikasa stood there, a big frown on her face, "You've got to be kidding me."
You laughed, "It's a war. Sorry."
You ran off again, seeing Connie. He pointed his gun at you, laughing and dramatically beginning a monologue, "Why isn't it—" You cut him off by shooting him and he cried, "No!"
Historia was hiding behind a wall that you circled around. Luckily for the blonde, you both were on the same team. You heard footsteps, you got in front of Historia when you heard someone running.
Ymir popped up behind the wall and you shot as if you were trying to shoot all the rounds in a gun with a barrel.
"Phew, thanks, girl," Historia put her hand on your shoulder. She then pointed the gun at her best friend and shot at her again. You gave her a high five and she cheered, "Yes! I made a kill."
Ymir scowled and said something about getting you back but you were already rushing through the maze in search of your next victim.
You noticed Bertholdt and Reiner in the distance, shooting them from far off, leaving the two confused. You looked up, seeing the second floor overlooking the first. At the edge of one of the posts, you noticed, Connie up there. He was pointing his gun down towards the other side of the maze. It seemed like he spotted one of your other teammates.
You pointed your gun up at him, shooting and deactivating his vest.
Then, you rounded a corner in the maze, seeing Jean and Eren pointing their guns at each other in an all-out battle. You joined in, shooting at Jean vigorously.
Jean laughed, "I'll take care of you later!"
You yelled back, "I don't think so!"
Eren kept shooting at Jean, a little too determined as he did so. Eren grinned when you both managed to deactivate Jean's vest.
Jean pointed at you before running off, "You're so dead when I recharge."
You rushed to Eren's side, holding your hand up for a high five. You had the brightest of smiles on your face. He took it in for a moment, registering the look of happiness and he finally returned the high-five.
An announcement sounded overhead, signaling the end of the game. You both turned away, looking anywhere but at each other as you returned to the laser arena lobby.
"Nic, I'm sorry, but I had to," Sasha had her palms pressed together while Nicolo faced away with his arms crossed. "The victory of the hot sushi bitches was important."
"Hot sushi what?" Nicolo grimaced.
Sasha skipped over it as you, Jean, and Eren tired hiding your laughter. She said, "As the team leader, I had to take my team to vict—"
Eren butted in, "Who said you were leader? I'm the captain."
Sasha argued, "My amazing skills let us win."
You interrupted, "Nuh uh. I brought the skill. I'm the reason we won. Look—I'm ranking number one again!"
Eren interrupted once again, "I'm number two. And I'm the reason you placed first!"
You shrilled, "What? I had to come in and save your ass! I even saved Historia in there."
Historia nodded, "It's true."
Eren opened his mouth, but Armin squeezed in, "We won though! Isn't that what's important?"
You and Eren shot Armin a menacing glare as you both hissed, "No!"
You then said, "You know I'm the best player—it's why you picked me."
Eren smirked a sickly sweet smirk, "No, I picked you to get back at Reiner."
You gasped, as did Reiner. You pointed your finger at Eren dramatically, "I hate you."
"Right back at you," Eren narrowed his eyes. "You want to roller skate now?"
You hummed in thought before you said, "Sure."
Sasha, Armin, Nicolo, and Connie shared a confused look with the other as to how yours and Eren's argument played out. How quickly and fast paced it was and then how it ended just as quickly.
Everyone was beginning to walk out, back into the arcade. You all headed towards the left where the roller-skating rink was. At the help desk, you gave your shoe size in order to receive your skates.
Jean came and sat down next to you, "Have you skated before?"
"I'm okay," your lips were in a line. "Have you?"
"Oh, yeah," Jean said. "I love it. I'll catch you if you fall."
"Alright, Kirstein, I'm not that bad," you sardonically waved.
Jean laughed, and you began to take your shoes off to slip on the skates but your eyes fell on his mismatched socks.
You dramatically gasped, and he quizzed, "What?"
"You're wearing two different pairs of socks!" you pointed. You noticed Eren's were also mismatched, and you covered your eyes, "You too?"
Eren kept a somnolescent look, "It's not like I wore two different pairs of shoes."
You winced, and Armin agreed with you as did Historia when she chimed, "That's blasphemous."
Ymir's eyes widened and she rushed to slide the skates onto her feet to cover her white sock and black sock on her other foot before Historia would notice.
"Oh my gosh! You guys are here too!" an unfamiliar voice cried.
You all looked up, seeing that girl from Historia's pool party. Lisa? Or something like that. You couldn't really remember.
"Louise! Hi," Historia grinned. "What are you doing here?"
"I came with some friends," Louise said. "Mind if I hang out with you?"
The girl seemed sweet enough, even Mikasa smiled at her, "Sure."
Louise smiled at everyone and when her eyes landed on Eren's, she shied away. Her cheeks were turning pink and then her eyes landed on you, and once again she looked away. An irritable furrow in her brows.
You watched as Historia and Ymir went into the rink first. Right behind, everybody else followed.
Jean went in first, and since it was in the middle of a weekday, it was only your group in the rink. Jean held his hand out for you to join him. With a grin, you accepted and let the wheels of your skates meet the wooden flooring of the rink.
You watched a flustered Nicolo being guided by an excited Sasha. The smile on her face when she was with that boy made you feel so warm. She was amazing and she deserved this.
Jean laughed as you lost your balance, gripping onto him. You warned, "You didn't see anything."
"I'm not blind—or stupid," Jean recounted.
You tipped your chin down, "How much do you want to bet on the second thing?"
"Shut up," Jean snickered, shoving you a bit.
Then, you noticed Mikasa wobbling along the side of the rink, gripping onto the handrail on the edge. You stopped and watched as Jean skated over to her. He offered her his hand and she hesitantly accepted. Letting go of the rail, she put her faith in Jean to help her.
And just like that, you felt like the smallest thing in the world.
Your friends were laughing and chasing each other as you were in the corner of the rink, feeling all sorts of betrayed.
The little clack of the hefty wheels on the wood behind you caught your attention. Peering over your shoulder, you saw Eren. His eyes were down at his feet and his arms slightly higher to help maintain balance.
"How are you such an amazing skateboarder but don't know how to roller skate?" you folded your arms.
His eyes flicked up and when they did, you forgot completely about Jean. "Did you just compliment me?"
And before you could respond, he fell forward. You caught him surprisingly before his balance made him fall to the ground. You threw your head back in laughter and he moped.
When you closed your eyes and laughed, he couldn't hold back that smile creeping in on his face. You didn't let go of him, still giggling. You helped him, sliding your palms into his.
"Let me teach you," you pulled him towards you, helping him regain his balance.
There was a shakiness in his breath, not to be confused with hesitancy because there was no way in hell he'd let the offer slide to hold your hands like this. He felt . . . nervous . . . almost stupid for feeling that skittish about having a girl teach him something. He felt his ego bruising a bit.
Silently, he let you guide him. With your eyes flicking from his face to his feet, you helped him gain momentum once more.
"This isn't so bad," he finally said.
You were reminded of him teaching you how to skateboard, so you smirked, "Great. Now do it yourself."
"Woah—wait," he reasoned. But you had already let go. Surprisingly enough, he managed to stay upright.
You clapped, "I'm impressed, Jaeger."
You were enjoying yourself a lot more than you expected. Jean leaving to help Mikasa completely slipped your mind and you couldn't even bother to look at them. Not when Eren was pathetically trying to prove he could skate and losing his balance over and over.
As "Never Tear us Apart" by INXS played in the roller rink, you were still laughing at Eren as you decided to skate away from him.
"Not funny," Eren yelled after you, trying to the best of his ability to follow you.
Across from the other side of the rink, you were hiding behind Connie and Reiner. Eren laughed as he tried catching up. And not even realizing you passed Jean and Mikasa again, she had noticed Eren chasing behind you.
"Eren, be careful!" she called. "You'll hurt yourself."
Eren shouted back, "I'll be fine, Mikasa!"
"Y/n! You too!" Mikasa said with concern as you were skating passed them again.
You gave her a thumbs up, "Got it, Mom."
Armin was quite the skater to your surprise. Delicate movements were obvious in the way he moved. He noticed you and asked, "Are you playing tag? Can I play?"
You nodded, "Eren's it."
"Not anymore," Eren's voice came from by your ear and before you had the time to react, his arms were already on you. He was far from gentle, he must've thought he was playing football or something.
"No!" you cried. He let go and you sat up, "You have ten seconds."
Eren and Armin shared a look before skating off. You gruffly got up, Connie cupped his mouth, "Everyone's playing now!"
You grinned before skating in the direction of the bald boy. A panicked expression was on his face and he began skating off.
Historia was a brilliant skater, so catching her was far too big of a task. Someone you figured seemed like the weakest skater was Nicolo.
A few rounds passed and Eren stepped off finally with the boys. Reiner, Jean, Connie, Armin, Nicolo, Bertholdt, and Marco all headed towards the basketball game. Inserting their coins, they started playing.
"Congratulations, Nic," Reiner said. "On you and Sasha."
"Yeah, congrats, bud," Eren patted the blonde's back.
Nicolo's brown eyes sparkled under the colorful lights as he humbly thanked him, "Thanks, guys."
"You guys are the only ones in a relationship out of all of us," Marco chuckled. "That's insane."
Nicolo shrugged, an innocent gesture from him, "Soon enough you'll find your person."
"Are you telling us to go for another girl in the group?" Connie raised a brow.
"In that case," Reiner chuckled. "I already had my sights set on a pretty girl."
"In the group?" Jean quizzed. "It better be Ymir."
Reiner patted his friend on the back, a deep rumble escaping his chest. A mocking tone in it as he spoke down to him, "Sorry, bud. But Y/n is too fine for me to ignore. I respected you as my friend and teammate but she's fair game for anyone now."
Eren's fist curled all on their own. Hearing Reiner talking about wanting to put the moves on you made his nerves jitter. He knew he shouldn't have cared this much but he did.
"She is," Connie agreed. "Sorry, Jean. Been thinking that since she got here."
Jean scowled, "Just because we're broken up, it doesn't mean you all pounce at her like a piece of meat. You all forget about the bro code?"
Eren rolled his eyes. If only he could.
A little while passed, and you were out of breath. While Ymir was now it in the last round of the game, you decided to step off the rink. You noticed Eren wasn't around. So, after you got into your regular shoes, you began looking for the boy to let him know you all were leaving soon. You peered around, seeing Eren by the crane machine that the cow and duck had come from.
Before you could approach him though, you noticed Louise walking in your direction. And since you figured you didn't get to properly greet her, you spoke, "Hi, Louise."
Just like that, the blonde girl had walked past you. Completely ignoring you. Your brows furrowed and you thought maybe she didn't see you. But she looked right at you. Perhaps you had said something that she didn't like? But you hadn't even had a conversation with her at any point.
Moving past the thoughts dwindling, you looked back to where Eren was again.
He was peering inside the machine and you had a slight smile as you walked up to him, "What are you glaring at? You know you're supposed to play to win an animal, right?"
He dully said, "I'm not dumb. You forget where the duck came from?"
"No," your arms were folded as you leaned against the machine. "You going to stare at it all day or what?"
He smirked, "Why? You want me to win you one again?"
You rolled your eyes, "No. We were about to leave. Just wanted to let you know. Unless you really wanted to stay here by yourself because then by all means, stand next to this machine all night."
Eren pulled his keys out, "I'll take you, Sasha, Connie, and Armin."
You raised a brow, "Okay, lead the way."
He casually began to walk towards the exit. Sasha, Connie and Armin were waiting by the doors with the others.
"Oh my god," Historia's eyes were widened as she stared at her phone. You all looked at her in concern, thinking something bad had happened. "My sister finally picked a date. I'm sending the invitations to you all tomorrow."
"Congratulations," you smiled at the blonde.
She returned a charming grin, "Thank you. We're going to have so much fun at the resort."
Everyone swarmed around to congratulate her and once Connie, Sasha, Eren, and Armin bestowed their piece, they walked beside you to the exit. Since Nicolo had to leave by himself because he had to do something for one of his classes, Sasha chose to stay and leave with you instead.
Eren was walking beside you as he whispered, "Good thing I got on her good side. Or else I wouldn't get to go to the fucking resort."
You pridefully turned your nose up, "And who do you have to thank for that?"
"Ah right," Eren nodded, and you waited for him to thank you, but he said, "Thank you, God."
You elbowed him in the gut, "I meant me! If it wasn't for me you wouldn't be invited. I told you to talk things out with Historia."
"Damn, alright," his lips turned down, rubbing his gut. "Thanks, I guess."
Armin and Connie were talking about a certain movie series they loved so they weren't paying much mind to you. Sasha on the other hand, had her brow cocked up as she watched the two of you, making a mental note on how this wasn't the first time she had sensed something strange.
"Someone tell Eren, Armin, and Jean that we've got to go as the ghostbusters on Halloween," Connie said as Eren pulled out of the parking lot.
Eren lightly laughed, "No, that's a dumb costume."
"No, it's not," you defended. "Don't listen to him, Connie."
"Thanks, Y/n," Connie leered.
"Can you not put stupid ideas in his head?" Eren eyed you through the rearview mirror.
Armin then interjected, "Connie, it's not that I don't like the idea. I do. But I already planned what I'm going as—Anakin Skywalker."
"Oh, that's good," you excitedly said. "Sorry, Connie. You could just be one ghostbuster."
"By myself?" Connie quizzed. "Hell no. I'll figure something out."
Then you realized Sasha hadn't been speaking. She had a desolate look on her face as she stared straight ahead. Not even out the window, but at the back of Eren's headrest. So, you nudged her and when she looked at you, you lifted your chin in a small nod that asked what was on her mind.
She had a faint smile and shook her head. You smiled back as you listened to the boys talk the entire way back home.
You all walked up to your dorm, Connie had made himself right at home by rushing to the fridge as if some other wordly creature had summoned him. Pieck came out of her room at all the commotion.
"Hey, you're back," she smiled at you before turning to say hello to the others.
"Hey," you grinned back at her. "Yeah, we only studied for like an hour. We went to Scouts again."
Pieck tied her hair back, "Your day's still been a lot more productive than mine."
You hadn't even realized Eren had been standing in the doorway to your bedroom for so long. Pieck walked up to Connie who still had his head stuck in the fridge, "Are you looking for something?"
Sasha's eyes were nailed on you stepping towards your doorway while Armin watched as Pieck pulled out ice cream from the freezer.
"You keep it on your bed," the brunette softly stated.
"What?" you tipped your head to the side.
He faced you, "The duck. You keep it on your bed."
Your eyes widened and you weren't sure how to cover up the fact you cherished that duck so much, "Yeah, I didn't know where else to put it."
He smirked, "Do you think about me when you hold it?"
"Ew," your face twisted. "Stop being gross."
He simply laughed, and you felt a warm feeling on your skin whenever you heard that sound. Sasha then diverted her gaze back to the ice cream Connie scooped for her when you and Eren were walking back.
"You want some, Eren?" Pieck asked.
He respectfully declined, "No thanks."
"You sure?" Pieck arched a brow. "You used to sneak into the kitchens with Zeke and Reiner to steal ice cream at summer camp every night."
Eren chuckled, "You remember that?"
Pieck softly exhaled an amused breath, "Yeah, I could see you all running around the grounds at night from my window."
"But we used to bring some for you sometimes," Eren pointed. "Remember when you broke your foot?"
Pieck rubbed her temples, "Oh yeah, and you guys always brought back cookies and cream."
You looked into the carton to pour more for yourself but when you were met by an empty box, "It's empty!"
"First come, first serve," Connie shrugged, pushing his empty bowl forward.
You frowned, picking up his bowl and heading to wash it in the sink. While you were preoccupied, Sasha stood up, "Nic's here to pick me up. Good night!"
You looked back to wish her a good night but she already slammed the door shut. Armin and Connie stood up, the former saying, "We should head to our dorm too."
You nodded, "Good night, guys."
The two of them walked away towards the front door. Also having shut it, you were left alone with Pieck and Eren.
That was until Pieck yawned, "I'm going to head to bed. See ya." As she walked to her room, she wiggled her brows at you.
You cocked your head at her but your roommate had already locked the door behind her. Eren stumbled into your bedroom. You followed behind him once more.
When you entered, he was standing by your dresser, staring at the two picture frames you had there. You shut the door.
"Is this her? Your friend?" he was holding the frame with clouds painted on, Aria and you embracing each other in it. You nodded. He had a straight face, "You look happy."
"I was," you stood beside him, voice low as you stared at your best friend in the picture. "It was very brief."
He hummed. "And this is your family?"
You looked at the next photo in which you and your family were in front of your old house.
"Yeah, Mason's on the left, and my little brother Theo on the right. And those are my parents," you pointed.
Eren looked at you, no particular expression painted on his features, "You look miserable."
You were miserable, it was all in the forced smile and the deadweight behind your eyes. Your gaze flicked to the photo, "I'm always miserable around them. Parents don't think I'm good enough. Brother dictates what I do. Little brother relies on me."
"Theo's by himself then," Eren concluded. "Back at Stohess."
You nodded, "I didn't want to leave him but Mason isn't there so Theo's having the time of his life."
"You should be having fun too," he said. "Today was nice, all of us together."
"It was. Especially when you fell on your ass three times," you agreed calmly. "Except for when that Louise girl came. I don't think she likes me."
Eren left out a soft chuckle, "Why? What did you do to her?"
"Nothing," you stated, brows pulled up as your voice raised in its pitch. "I think she has a crush on you and thinks I'm competition or something. Weird, right?"
His lips turned down as he set down the picture frame, "What's weird about that?"
"Us being together," you reiterated as if it were a joke. "That would be weird. Jean's your best friend and Mikasa's mine too."
He looked back at you, blinking slowly. His hesitation to respond was frightening you. But he then agreed, "Yeah," he paused. "That would be weird." Pulling out his phone, he checked the time, "I should go, it's late."
He brushed past you, not uttering anything further than that. You followed after him, but he walked out of the front door already. Stopping in your tracks, you thought about flinging the door open after him. About asking him just what took so long to respond.
But you didn't. You returned to your room, and that was it.
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