[Jeongin]
Hyunjin and I were currently fixing up our new rooms, Felix was in the living room chatting with two of our new roommates. We were given today off from school to move our things.
There's only five of us in this home, I haven't met the third or seen the third person in the dorm yet. Hyunjin came waltzing into room as I finished setting up my vinyls.
I bent down to my feet and picked up the painting he had made for me. I wanted to place it above my bed here. Since the rooms were bigger I had more space. I removed my headphones and looked the brunette.
"Hey. You need any help?" Hyunjin asked, noticing I hadn't even started on my suitcases.
"Uhm. Yea. If you wouldn't mind, please." He stepped further into me room with a smile.
"You going to the homecoming dance?" He asked me, without looking up from his chosen chore.
I forgot the dance was tonight. "I don't know. I don't really have anyone to go with."
"Want to go with me? I don't really have anyone to go with either." He nodded his head towards the hall. He knew the two out there that were currently entertained with Felix's presence.
I pretended to think about it. Not wanting to seem to overjoyed that Hyunjin just asked me to go somewhere with him. I've liked him for a while, since the day he let me roam through his heart and basically bare parts of his soul to me.
But it was obvious he was off limits to me. First to Jisung and now because of Felix it was painfully obvious that Felix had some sort of attraction to the guy. But I was hopeful, Felix hadn't asked him to the dance.
"I'd be okay with that." I said, looking him before returning my attention to getting the placement of the painting on my wall just right.
When I was 100 percent sure it was perfectly centered and even. I hung it up and hopped off the bed.
After finishing up, we walked out of my new room and into the living room. It was set up in a very welcoming way. A large window centered on one wall, letting warm light in.
Hyunjin jumped over the back of the couch and smoothly slide into the space between San and Felix. I, however, just walked around to sit down like a normal person.
I sat down at the end of the small section and turned my head to watch whatever was on tv. A Cartoon Network show was playing and I was immediately engulfed by it. I didn't watch tv much, I spent way too much time in my room.
As the show played out before my eyes, I hadn't realized a whole hour had passed until Hyunjin waved his hand in front of my face.
"I've been calling your name." He said. "The dance is in an like thirty minutes."
I looked around the room. The only ones in here were me and him. I shifted my feet to the ground and pushed myself up. Hyunjin stepped aside to let me pass him. He followed up the stairs before disappearing into his own room.
I shifted through my closet, keeping it simple. A maroon button down, black dress pants and a black tie. I slipped on my ankle boots and headed across the hall towards the bathroom. Im going to miss having my own bathroom.
I thought about slicking my hair back, but as I stared into the mirror I liked my hair better the way it was. Then applied simple touches of concealer over the dark circles under my eyes.
Hyunjin came sliding into the bathroom behind me, side stepping to not be too much in my way. I looked at him through the mirror when he wasn't paying attention. How can this man be so... beautiful.
"Is Felix going?" I asked him, blending the concealer into my skin.
"No. He said he doesn't do social events." He said as he stood slightly behind me messing with his hair as if trying to figure out how he wants it.
I didn't say anything back. I didn't really do big social events either, but Hyunjin asked me so why not?
"Why are you even going?" I asked out of curiosity.
"Heeseung. His girlfriend dragged him to his homecoming, he wanted me to suffer with him." He chuckled and I smiled at the explanation. His friendship with that guy had to be something.
"How would even know?"
"Trust me. Heeseung would know if I went or not." Hyunjin eyes went wide, almost as if he was slightly terrified of the guy.
I just laughed as I backed away from the mirror, almost bumping into him. I hadn't realized he was actually that close.
"Sorry." I stepped to the side to let him have the area and walked out. As I stepped down the stairs, I noticed someone I wasn't introduced to before.
They walked passed me and I was slightly confused. It was a girl, her pixie hair cut had grown out to be a little shaggy. My eyes followed her as she disappeared into one of the bedrooms.
I walked down the stairs to be confronted by San. I pointed up the stairs and he smiled with a nod. "Who is she?"
"That is Haejin. They are non-binary." He informed me, instantly recognizing my confusion.
"Oh." I suddenly felt guilty for my original thought of them.
"Hyunjin almost ready? Cheongsan is getting antsy."
"Yes. I'm ready." Hyunjin called from the top of the stairs as he lightly jogged down. Full black suit, the matte blazer fit his shape perfectly, the shirt underneath was a low cut v-neck. His hair parted perfectly down the middle, shaping the sides of his face.
Hyunjin smiled at me as he reached the last stair and my stomach flipped a million times over. That smile, that face, his heart. If we were ever in a world of definite chaos, he would be my refuge.
He placed arm around my shoulders and shook me lightly. "Let's go!"
We were lucky to placed in a new dorm so much closer to the school. As we walked along the paved road towards the building, the three of them talked about something I did have the focus to pay attention to.
San had a boy on his arm and Cheongsan had a girl hugging his waste tightly. If I had the courage to, I'd probably do the same with Hyunjin. But I never will, he doesn't look at me the way I want him to.
Hyunjin glanced at me and I realized I was staring. I watched as he focused his attention back on their conversation, but his eyes occasionally glance at me.
We walked into the gymnasium, the room was already crowded with so many students, dressed in various styles. Ranging from ball gown to casual party dresses, from suits to casual jeans and a nice shirt.
Music was on a lower volume at the beginning before it gradually grew louder. People swarmed the snack tables, the bleachers, but somehow the crowd on the 'dance floor' seemed so much bigger. I grew anxious, being surrounded by so many people.
"You okay?" Hyunjin asked me, his hand on my lower back.
"Yea. There's just... a lot of people." I said, glancing around the room at the crowd that surrounded us.
"It'll be okay. You'll feel better when we start dancing. Come on." Hyunjin grabbed my wrist and we followed his friends through the crowd of other students, finding an open spot amongst them.
Hyunjin immediately loosened up, his whole body moving to the beat of the song. He had rhythm.
While everyone else was dancing, I kind of just slightly swayed. Until Hyunjin grabbed my hands and started forcing movements. He leaned in, his lips near my ear as he whispered.
"I'm right here, okay? Just loosen up a bit." He whispered, his voice decadent like a cup of hot chocolate. It made my thoughts stumble over themselves.
I did as I was told with a nervous smile, I didn't look at his face. I glanced everywhere but there.
After a long while of dancing and heavy breathing, Hyunjin wore out and I was half thankful. He pulled me along with him and we abandoned the small group, making a straight line for something to drink.
The concessions had such a broad selection, but he chose a simply bottle of water. I watched as the bottle lips to his lips and he downed half of it in one go.
I subtly licked my lips. Small beads of sweat lined his hairline, dampening his hair. When he screw the cap back on the bottle he looked at me and gave a small laugh.
"I'm low key regretting letting Heeseung convince me of this." He admitted and looked back at the crowd of students. "I didn't think so many people made a big deal out of homecoming."
"Well they do. Now you see why I got anxious?" I had to lean closer for him to hear me over the music. I had a quiet voice.
"Yea. I do."
I glanced around the room and froze completely. Minho was walking through the doors and of course, had Jisung on his arm. He was the only other person in the room that made my heart race the way Hyunjin did. And yet, I wasn't his first choice, or his second for that matter.
He used me and I knew it, even though he knew the only reason I did anything with him ever... was because I liked him. That was his advantage.
Hyunjin must've noticed my slight discomfort when his eyes also found Minho walking in and he placed his hand on my shoulder.
"Hey, let's just to go somewhere quieter." He suggested, we both knew it wasn't because of the noise. It was just a larger excuse to leave.
We ended up in an empty unlocked classroom just down the hall. We could still hear the music clear enough. He pulled himself up in a counter, sitting with his legs dangling and I sat down in a desk.
"So.." Hyunjin was the first to speak, we didn't have to shout in here. "What's the thing with Minho?"
I didn't answer for a moment, not because I didn't want to but because I didn't know how to say it.
"He was.. a crush, I guess. I thought he felt the same, but clearly not." I forced a small laugh, tilted my head back slightly to look at the ceiling.
"That's all? The look on your face when he walked in suggested otherwise." Hyunjin pried for heavier detail.
"We would flirt, here and there before it became more consistent. I slept with him, in hopes that it would make things solid between us. That he would finally just ask me to be with him. But that same night when we left for the game.. I found out my hopes were foolish." I said, looking at him trying to get a read on his reaction. He didn't have one.
He thought for a moment, trying to think of what to say to me after that.
"Well then he's fucking stupid."
My eyes widened a little at him, he's expression was serious.
"He's not stupid." I said.
"No. If he's passing up the chance to be with someone as sweet and so obliviously caring as you, then he's fucking stupid. You deserve better than that." He was very blunt about his statements, not seeming to give a single fuck if I agreed or not.
I've never felt this before, the longing for two different people. Sure, one was fading away so very slowly but it's a strange feeling. Being pulled in two different directions who have no idea they are playing tug of war with each other or that they are even playing at all.
In the not so distant background, a slower paced song came on and I mentally groaned. The image of Jisung and Minho slowly killing me.
"Hey. Stop thinking about him." Hyunjin said, I heard his feet hit the floor and the shuffling of his shoes against the floor.
"I can't." I admitted, shaking the image from my head didn't work, it barely even blurred it.
"Here. Stand up."
I looked up at Hyunjin who stood over me, he was holding out his hand. When I stood, he began pushing some of the desks aside. He grabbed ahold of me and set us up into a waltz like stance.
"What are you doing?" I asked him as he laced his fingers through mine and held my waist gently.
"Giving you something else to think about." He gave me a smile and I just stared up at him with wide eyes.
We swayed lightly around the small space only a couple inches between the two of us.
"Why are you so nice?" I asked him and he chuckled at me.
"I have no idea. Would you prefer it if I was an asshole?" He asked me, his face getting a little closer.
"No. No I wouldn't."
"Okay then." He spoke as he dropped his hand from my waist and spun my around like I was some princess at a ball. I couldn't help but laugh.
I fell against him a little when I came face to face with him again and he laughed with me, both hands on my back.
I then realized... maybe the whole reason I ever was attracted to Minho, was because I couldn't have this boy. The boy that was dancing and laughing with me because Minho wasn't. The boy the painted a picture for me, the same boy that waved at me in the hallway everyday when he sees me.
I looked up at Hyunjin and his expression was relaxed, almost loving but I refused to let myself believe the almost part. I stopped in my tracks. He stopped and looked at me confused.
"What?"
"The song is over." I said, the was a bridge of silence in the background before it faded into a more upbeat song.
"Oh." He looked towards the door and then back at me, not letting me go though.
"Yea." I took a step back and his hands slid into his pockets.
"Should we head back? They might be looking for us." He suggested and I nodded. I felt a sudden pull to him and as he was walking to the door, I grabbed his wrist. He turned and looked at me.
"Hyunjin, I-" I couldn't bring myself to say what I wanted to, what I needed to.
"Jeongin?" He turned to face me fully, his hand coming up to my cheek as he wiped something wet away. Was I really crying?
"Jeongin we don't have to go back. We can stay here or.. or go home." His voice was filled with worry and slight panic.
"I'm okay." I pulled away from his touch, but he quickly grabbed me and pulled me to his chest in a comforting hug.
"I'm sorry." He said as his hand soothing strokes my hair. I shook my head against him before pulling away.
"You don't need to apologize for anything." I bared a weak smile.
"I practically just told you to get the fuck over Minho."
"Because he doesn't deserve me. And he doesn't, I know that. Honestly I think I only liked him because he was there when I couldn't have the boy I really wanted."
"So you don't really like him?" He sounded confused.
"No. I do like him, I ended up really liking him, but I know he's not... and now the other boy is coming back into the picture and it's so confusing and it's like I'm the rope in a game of tug of war and neither of them know they are playing. And I don't want you to judge me for admitting all this but I just need to get it off my chest." I started rambling and my mouth wouldn't slow down.
"Jeongin. Jeongin. It's okay, I get it." Hyunjin said, his hands holding both sides of my face. "You don't have to explain you're feelings to me. I'm not judging you."
"Okay." I felt so small.
"Now, I just have a question." I locked eyes with him. "Do you want to stay in here, or go back out there?"
"Can.. can we stay in here?"
"Of course." He closed the door back all the way shut and walked us back to the middle of the room. "I also don't care if it's a slow song or not. Dancing with you was nice."
I smiled up at him as he picked us up where we left off.
We spent the rest of the time in that little classroom, talking about random things as we slowly danced with each other.
When we heard people leaving, we stopped for a minute. I was readying myself to leave, knowing this night was over. That moment was over.
The way he looked at me, made me want him to kiss me, hoped he would kiss me. But he didn't.
And he probably never would.
——
[A/N]
Unrequited love hurts man. Why does it hurt so bad? Our little baby bread.
What do you guys think of this chapter? I honestly am really proud of the vibe of it, especially the moments of them dancing. It's sweet.
In this chapter I also wrote a line referencing to their relationship in my ongoing book: Where it All Ends.
"If we were ever in a world of definite chaos, he would be my refuge."
Anyway! I love you all and hope you enjoyed this chapter. Currently putting together the next one for you guys already.
Have a good day! Drink lots of water and make sure to eat!
Til next update my little honeybees.