Outer Banks, Thornton's house
July 14th, 2020
9:21 am
Waking up was hard, because the first thing that hit me was how much I needed those drugs, but I had used them all through the night and didn't have any left. I wanted to make myself a line and snort it, it had became a need, but I couldn't tell anyone about it. I groaned in annoyance and clenched my fist, since I was not able to please my needs, and the man who could please them was who I hated most in this exact moment, exactly for those reasons.
I made my way downstairs and I sighed when I heard a voice I would gladly have avoided. I had barely slept through the night, overthinking about Rafe and I's relationship and future, so as I heard his voice, I was tempted to go back upstairs and hide under my covers. But I was stronger than that, and as I stepped in the huge living-room my brother and Topper were in, I looked away.
"-she was not so bad for a, what do they call them? Touron?" Rafe laughed as Topper sat next to him not saying anything. "She was sober, I didn't even have to make her drink"
I gasped at his words, disgusted, and I sat on the couch, ignoring him. If one of us had to leave, it wasn't me, since he wasn't welcome here anymore and my brother seemed to agree with me, I saw it by how distant he was. I turned on the TV and searched for anything that could get my mind off the fact Rafe was talking about how he fucked a Touron right after we had argued when we did not even make obvious we were broken up, but nothing managed to catch my attention.
Gaby jumped on my legs and I smiled wildly as I hugged him close and he relaxed in my arms. I pressed kisses on his head and in this exact moment he was all I needed. "Hi baby," I whispered, kissing his head as he showed me his glee by licking my face, which I found a bit disgusting so I wiped it off. "You're my favorite dog in the whole world"
I felt Rafe's gaze on me and ignored it, laying all my attention on Gaby. My boy laid on my legs and started falling asleep, which eased my heart. I loved how calm he was and how he always felt safe enough to fall asleep with me. I got scared the sound of tv would wake him up, so I lowered the volume and ended up turning it off. Topper and Rafe, who were still sitting on the other side of the huge sofa stopped talking to look at me, and the silence made it hard for me to pretend I didn't notice. "Where are mom and dad?" I asked Topper, laying my eyes on him and only him.
"I don't know, they're probably at the Cameron's," he responded looking at Rafe for his agreement or disagreement.
"How am I supposed to know?" Rafe asked, and I pretended he didn't exist. "I got kicked out"
I got up slowly and carefully, placing Gaby on the sofa and hoping he wouldn't wake up. Once my puppy was comfortably laid on the couch I walked to the stairs, rolling eyes. Rafe got up and went closer but since I had chosen to ignore him I decided not to pay attention to our sudden proximity.
"Can you tell mom and dad l won't sleep at home tonight?" I asked Topper softly.
"Where are you going?" Rafe asked me.
I laid my eyes on him for the first time, taken aback by his nerve, but mostly annoyed by his constant need to control everything including my life when we both knew he had no right to no more. The boy seemed truly interested into knowing where I would spend my day and I showed him he didn't deserve to know by pretending he didn't exist. "Man, leave her alone," Topper interfered, still sat on the sofa.
"Is she not mature enough to stand up for herself?" Rafe asked, getting closer from me.
"Why don't you go ask that Touron you fucked where she spends her day?" I snapped harshly. "Just give me a break, Rafe"
The boy scoffed and looked at my brother for support but he soon noticed he was the only one laughing. I was actually glad Topper was on my side for approximately the first time in his life. Rafe ran an hand through his hair and in a normal time I would have found this very hot, but right now I just wanted to pull on his blonde hair so bad it'd root out of his head.
"Why do you hate me, all of sudden?" he asked me, as if somehow it was hard for him to understand.
"Get out of my way!" I groaned, as he placed his tall and muscular body in front of me to prevent me from walking away.
"Rafe leave her alone, really," Topper repeated, getting up this time.
If I was being honest I didn't hate Rafe for who he was, I hated Rafe for what he brought up. Every single time my eyes laid on him all I could think about was how he had slept with another girl the night we had argued and how our relationship had not lasted a simple week. I hated how he constantly reminded me I had no right to be mad at him for getting me into drugs because he had never pressured me to, just by the way he looked at me.
"Have you lost your tongue? Do you want to steal mine like you did with the drugs?" he asked and my blood boiled in my veins.
"Shut up!" I screamed at his face.
"Don't fucking tell me to shut up when we both know you're a thief," he drawled laying his hands on me but I slapped them away.
Topper made his way to us, disbelief and surprise dripping off his eyes. "Is this true?" my brother asked. "Tessa!"
I pressed my hands on Rafe's chest, pushing him away from me as tears pecked my eyes. It wasn't fair he snitched on me in front of my brother just so that he'd seem cooler in his eyes. "Who do you think you are?" I screamed at him. "When will you not be an asshole to me?"
"I'm just speaking facts Tessa," Rafe argued, provocative. "Truth hurts though"
"Maybe your father was right to kick you out! You're an asshole! If you weren't a druggie you'd deserve to be loved, but you don't," I spoke, clenching my teeth in anger.
"Oh yeah?" he laughed. "How many times did you do drugs without me, just so we know who's the druggie between you and I?"
"And how many girls fell for you before falling into drugs?" I snapped, as Topper stared silently and seemed embarrassed to witness such a scene. "Or is it a coincidence?"
My ex boyfriend laughed again, as if there was something funny in the situation when all I could see was pain and anger. "Stop pretending I treated you like any other girl, Tessa," he responded.
"Oh my God," I raised my arms up in the air, before grabbing my purse and walking to the door. "We dated for three days and slept together for like two weeks, so what? It meant something to you? You slept with a Touron right after we ended things and you kept bragging about it, so your whole « making her feel special so that she forgets I got her into drugs and beat her yesterday » shit won't work on me"
The man stayed silent and I bit my lip, waiting a few seconds for an answer I knew would never come, but seeing his face whitening was still worth it so I admired the view. "That's what I thought, Rafe. Just so you know, I did, fall in love with you, at some point. But then you beat me, and I realised who you really were," I concluded, before walking out the door.
(...)
Outer Banks, The Château
July 14th, 2020
1:04 pm
I woke up to the loud sound of my phone
ringing and as I opened my eyes, the first thing my eyes managed to get a glimpse of was the blonde hair of someone I really liked. I still groaned in annoyance since I hated to be woken up by any type of alarm and rubbed my eyes, sitting up. When I had reached the chateau earlier, the shack was quiet and since no one was sleeping on the sofa usually squatted by JJ, I crashed and fell asleep hoping the eyeballs under my eyes would get smaller and I'd look less like a panda.
"He didn't stop calling," JJ said, grabbing my phone and reclining the entering call.
I frowned, not sure who he was referring to, and confused by his presence here, even though I enjoyed it. "Wh-Who did?" I asked.
"Rafe," he responded. "Six missed calls, ten text messages delivered, which I did not read but many of them are threatening you to death," he added, which made me chuckle.
"So you read them," I said as I grabbed my phone. "Rafe and I are not a thing anymore so you can already forget about me crying in your arms"
"Well that was fast," JJ mocked and I simply rolled eyes. "How about he's the best thing that ever happened to you?"
I sat up on the couch as my blonde best friend sat next to me and I grabbed my phone to read the text messages even though I knew it would hurt me more than ease my anger towards this man. As I clicked on our conversation, I saw a list of delivered messages, and a few of them caught my attention. «Don't fucking ignore me» or «Answer the phone» drove me insane since I could hear him say it and I knew he wasn't joking.
"What did you argue about?" JJ inquired.
I knew he didn't care and would have preferred taking me on a surf session or making pancakes but he rubbed my back and it made me feel like maybe he still wanted to know the truth. I didn't want to tell anyone I had fallen into drugs because I knew what their response would look like, and they'd remind me of my past which I tried to avoid so badly. Now that Topper knew about it, JJ deserved to know the truth about me, and I didn't trust anyone more than JJ.
"Long story short: He sort of got me into drugs, and then he realised he didn't want me to snort cocaine anymore because it wasn't good for me, so I stole from him to keep doing it, which led him to be kicked out of his place, and he found out so he hit me," I said, looking right into his blue eyes. "And he already slept with another girl so he moved on"
"You what?" JJ asked as if I knew what part of the story he was referring to. "Tess, how about your health?"
"Don't bring my disease into this," I calmly stated. "And I probably won't taste cocaine for the rest of my life since he was the one I did it with"
JJ nodded and as I read the rest of the threatening messages my ex boyfriend had sent me, I had to admit I wasn't surprised by the tone. I knew I had fucked up, I really did, but he had for sure gone too far by putting his hands on me. If he did actually think that I was special, he would never have hurt me, and yet he did, so we were both guilty in our case.
"I'm glad you two broke up," JJ said, pressing a kiss on my head. "I never want to hear from him anymore"
"JJ-"
He cut me off by pulling me in his arms and wrapping them around me in a warm hug. I didn't know if he was relieved I wasn't dating the man he hated most on Earth anymore or if he was relieved I was single, but as my head was pressed on his chest and my ear could feel his heartbeat, I knew he liked the situation that way. He was my best friend and I knew he only wanted what was best for me, but I feared he had other ideas in mind, for both Rafe and I.
I hugged him tightly, happy to be with someone I loved in this moment, because no matter how hard I tried to hide it with anger, I was deeply wounded by our breakup, and part of me hoped things were back to what they were before Rafe and I both fucked up our relationship. There was something special about being with Rafe, it was exciting and at the same time danger felt so far away when I was with him, and knowing I would never live this again, and even worse, someone else would live it, made me want to cry my eyes out.
I wiped a tear that had poured down my cheek and JJ noticed it so he wrapped his arms more tightly around me and we kept quiet for a few minutes, focusing on how we fit perfectly in each other's arms. "You deserve someone who actually loves you, Tess, someone who'd give their life for you," he whispered and I feared he was talking about himself, so I remained silent.