“Um sweet flea, are you going to let us in?”
No, I thought to myself but I wasn’t going to say that out loud. I was too stunned to think of a proper answer so I just stepped aside so they could come in.
Why were they here? Why hadn’t they called ahead? Why didn’t they give me time to mentally prepare myself for this?
My discussion with Darius had made me forget about mother not reaching out. I thought I was over all this but I was wrong. Seeing her at my doorstep along with father made all those feelings come rushing back.
“Sorry for intruding on you like this.”
“It’s okay dad.” That was a lie. Part of me wanted them to leave and come back later when I was ready.
They both made their way in and I closed the door behind them taking a moment to try to calm myself. After all, it wasn’t like I didn’t want my parents visiting me, it's just that it took me completely off guard. I’ve been living in this home for years yet this was the first time they got to see it. When I turned around I saw them awkwardly standing in the middle of my living room.
“This is the first time we’ve been here. Your house is very neat and clean. It’s the exact opposite of Edalyn’s home.” jested my mother.
“Ha..ha ha yes the nanny keeps things clean,” I said keeping my voice as even as possible. Good Lilith, just keep this up. You can do this. “So what brings you here so early in the morning and unannounced.”
“Sorry I know this is really short notice. I wanted to schedule something with you but … well your father came home and he’s going to be leaving soon you see and I wanted for us both to be present to see the baby,” dad cleared his throat making mother stop. Her expression changed to that of shame and she looked down before continuing. “And you see I um…didn't have your contact information to let you know we were coming.”
Hearing that hurt but at least she was trying. If we wanted to repair our relationship we had to start somewhere. Right? I’m sure she tried asking Edalyn for my information but knowing my sister she wouldn’t have given it to her so she would have to come to me directly.
“That’s okay mother, I’ll write it down for you before you go.” A look of relief filled her face and she quickly bounced back to her normal self. “Please take a seat. You two must be exhausted. You must have traveled through the night to get here so early.”
“Thank you dear and yes we headed out as soon as your father woke up yesterday,” she said while taking a seat on the sofa next to dad who had let himself drop on the seat.
“Sorry, it took us so long to come. I received your letter just a few weeks ago and as soon as I did I tried rushing home. I made it back a couple of days ago and rested up a bit before coming here. I wanted to be in top shape to meet my grandson. “ he said, smiling at Hunter.
Noticing my father’s attention was now on him Hunter tried using me to hide his face bashfully from him. I would have assumed maybe he was frightened if it wasn’t for the sound of his giggling.
“Well, this is new. He’s normally not shy around people.” I noted. I moved closer to my father and took a seat next to him. As I did Hunter sneaked a peek at my father and noticed he was closer. He once again tried using me to hide from him but there was nowhere to go. “Hahaha it’s okay Hunter there’s no reason to be afraid.”
After a moment he settled down and slowly looked at my father once more. Not wanting to startle him again, my father stayed still and watched Hunter to see what he would do. Hunter stared at him for a moment then very carefully reached out to try and touch my father’s beard. Realizing what Hunter was doing my father smiled and let it happen. As soon as Hunter’s hand touched my father’s beard he let out a small gasp and a spark of curiosity flashed across his eyes. He then repositioned himself so that he was sitting on my lap so he could use both hands to explore this new thing in front of him. It was a very tender moment until Hunter grabbed onto my father’s beard and pulled down hard.
My father let out a yelp of pain that caused Hunter to let go and go into a fit of laughter. Hearing Hunter’s laugh made my father let out a chuckle while he nursed his chin. Then suddenly Hunter stopped laughing and his eyes grew big as he saw my father’s fingers disappear into his beard. He then reached out to my father with both hands but this time it was so that my father would carry him. Seeing this father’s eyes grew wide with excitement but before he reached out to lift Hunter he looked at me for approval. I nodded and he very carefully lifted Hunter and sat him on his lap. Hunter then carefully let both of his arms sink into my father’s beard then carefully pulled them back out. He then happily looked at my father and started laughing before shoving his face into the beard.
“Wow, there little one,” said my dad, lifting Hunter out of his beard and over his head. While Hunter laughed happily. “Well, aren't you a curious one? You know he reminds me of you when you were his age, isn't that right dear.“
“Oh absolutely, you were always such a curious child getting yourself into things you shouldn’t be in,” she said with a chuckle.
“Hahaha really? I didn’t know that.”
“Oh yes, I even have pictures. Maybe next time you can come and visit us and we can go over them together,” she said looking at me with a hopeful look.
“Yeah, I would love that,” I replied with a smile. Maybe it was because dad had come along but this first encounter was going over much better than I could have ever anticipated. ”Hey how about I get us some tea?”
“That would be lovely sweety.”
I got up from my seat to walk over to the kitchen. Right before leaving the room, I turned around and saw both of my parents fawning over Hunter and him loving the attention he was receiving. I smiled and then continued on my way to the kitchen while listening to Hunter's laughing.
This moment was something I never thought I would experience. Getting married and having a family was never in my plans. Early on I discovered I wasn’t like the other kids. I never had a crush on any of my classmates nor did I ever feel any particular attachment toward anyone. To be perfectly honest I never understood it or saw a need for it. It was just a distraction and a waste of time and I was perfectly content being on my own. As for having children, well that just seemed absurd to me until I met Hunter. He changed the way I see the world just by existing.
I prepared the tea, a bottle for Hunter, and got a few snacks before putting everything on a tray and walking back to the living room. As I walked in I saw my mother was now holding Hunter while my father was making him laugh.
“Well I see you three are having fun,” I said, putting the tray on the coffee table. I served the tea then got Hunter’s bottle and handed it to him. We still hadn’t had breakfast so he happily took it from me.
“Look dear he can already hold a bottle,” beamed my mother as she watched Hunter in her arms. My father looked at Hunter with what I can only describe as pride.
"I'm really proud of you sweet flea. You’ve done such a great job with him." stated my mother catching me by surprise. "You took on the responsibility of caring for a child that wasn't yours and you were able to do it all on your own."
These were words I had been wanting to hear my entire life. I tried fighting back tears as I thought about her never saying this before to me. Not even when I got the best grades in school, became top of my class, became captain of the Grudgby team, joined the emperor’s coven, nor when I became the coven head. Part of me felt happy that she said it now but the other part was bitter because it felt like none of my accomplishments mattered until now. Had I not become a mother would she still be able to tell me she was proud of me?
I need to put the idea out of my head for the sake of peace. There was no reason to hang on to those negative thoughts when we were just starting to rebuild our relationship. Still, it hurt.
“Are you okay Lily?” asked my father.
I steadied myself before answering. I didn’t want them to know what I was thinking.
“Yes, I’m fine. Thank you. And I wasn’t alone. I had my friend and some acquaintances help me and give me advice. I had my comrades in the coven help take care of Hunter while I worked. And as of a month ago, I’ve had Edalyn and Hooty.” I noted taking a sip of my tea.
I wasn’t able to mask the edge to my voice and both of my parents noticed.
“We’re sorry Lily,” voiced my father in a shaky voice, taking hold of my mother’s hand. She had now begun to weep, catching the attention of Hunter. Without letting go of his bottle he started patting my mother’s arm she was holding him with and humming to make her feel better. She noticed the gesture and tried smiling for the sake of Hunter but the tears would not stop flowing.
“I’m sorry,” she sobbed. “It’s all my fault.”
“Mother I,” I wanted to say more but no words would come to me. I wanted to make her feel better but I didn’t want to lie.
“The real reason I hadn’t reached out to you sooner was that I was home reading all of your letters,” she said in between tears.”I felt like I didn’t have the right to speak to you if I couldn’t even do that much. When I say that I am proud of you it’s for everything that you have accomplished even though you didn’t have your family backing you up. I regret not being there for your ceremony when you joined the emperor’s coven. I regret not being there when you were inaugurated to be the coven head. I regret not being there when you needed me the most.”
By now my mother wasn’t holding back her tears and they were flowing freely. Hunter, who she was still holding, stopped drinking from his bottle, pulled it out of his mouth and offered it to my mother. I can only assume he did this since his humming didn’t work he must think she is hungry. My mother noticed and took the bottle from him and held him closer to her.
“You are so kind and sweet just like your mama.” she whispered.
By now I couldn’t stop myself from crying. Seeing that she really was trying made all the pent up emotions start flowing out. This is all I’ve ever wanted. I got up from my seat and went to hug my mother. Still holding on to Hunter she returned the hug and we proceeded to cry together. I felt a huge weight lift off of my shoulders and I was so happy that we got a chance to do this. This was such a heartwarming moment between mother and I but it must have been terrifying for Hunter. Seeing us both cry over him must have scared him because he too started to cry.
I took him from my mothers arms and started rocking him while laughing and trying to stop myself from crying. “It’s okay my little fledgeling. I’m okay. Mama is here no need to cry. See I’m okay.”
He looked up at me and saw me smiling so he stopped crying. His eyes were still filled with tears so I wiped them away and then kissed his cheek. He then did the same to me causing my smile to widen. Satisfied that I was okay he turned around to look at my parents, specifically mother. He then pointed at her and shook his arm letting me know he wanted to go back to her.
“You want nana to hold you?” she asked with a smile outstretching her arms to hold him. I handed him to her and he stood on her lap. He then tried wiping away the tears she still had and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Well ain't that the sweetest thing. How could anyone feel down with you around?” she said with a big smile causing Hunter to laugh.
“Well what about grandpa? Don’t I get a kiss too?” asked my father, feigning shock. Hunter looked at him then outstretched his arms so that my father would hold him and so he did. Hunter then stared at my father for a moment before moving closer to him. Rather than giving him a kiss on the cheek he rubbed his face against his, laughing as my father’s beard tickled his face. “Hahaha well I suppose that will do.”
We all laughed and my father continued to play with Hunter. While my mother got up from her seat to come stand with me. She interlocked her arm with mine as we both watched my father and Hunter play.
“You really have done an incredible job with him,” she whispered. “He’s such a sweet little boy and I can’t even imagine how hard it must have been for you to take care of him on your own. I know this might be too little too late but I just want you to know that you can rely on us for whatever you two might need. You just need to call or you can even come pay us a visit sometime. We would love to have you both.“
“Thank you mother I will keep that in mind.” I said resting my head on her shoulder.