I've heard many heart monitors in my time. The ones I was used to hearing were also accompanied by the steady beeeep of a failed heartbeat. So it didn't surprise me when I heard the noise next to my head.
The next thing that registered was pain. Everything felt sore and I had a feeling I was feeling the numbing affects of morphine. I tried to open my eyes, but they felt like they were superglued shut.
It all started to trickle back from my memory. Marco, that dumb dog who never moved a muscle in his life deciding to become a hero all of a sudden. The beam falling and my legs feeling like they were on fire.
My vow.
And then Mabel. All of her. I soaked in every memory with her and it gave me a sense of comfort like nothing has ever given me comfort in my life. I didn't know how to describe it other than I felt like I was forever bonded to this sweet, caring, brave girl. It's like I've been waiting around aimlessly all my life, waiting for her. And here she was.
And I screwed it up.
All I could do was hope and pray that she'd forgive me because I didn't know if I could go another day without her. My heart ached for her.
I tried opening my eyes again and this time they fluttered open and shut to reveal a blurry white room. I tried once again, feeling like I was weight lifting with my eyelids and the blurry figures became clearer - a chair, a machine that I was hooked up to, a hospital bed that I lay in.
"You're awake," a voice sighed in relief next to me and I turned my head slowly to see Ethan sitting next to me. Ethan.
I must be dead. Or did I time travel? Because there was no way in hell that Ethan would be sitting next to me for any other reason.
Unless he really had come to murder me. I attempted to see if his hands held any weapons but they were past my view next to the bed and it hurt my head to make any more movements.
I opened my mouth to speak but suddenly felt like I had swallowed screws. "What," I croaked but it didn't even sound intelligible to my ears.
Ethan shook his head, "You ingested a lot of smoke. Conserve your strength."
I just stared at him like he was some kind of extra terrestrial being. Really, he kind of was. How did he know I was here? Why was he here? This was an alternate dimension. Mabel would have liked that analogy.
"I'm glad you're okay," Ethan continued like we were having a normal conversation. If only I knew morose code and could blink my thoughts to him. What. Are. You. Doing. Here. I tried to communicate telepathically.
He sighed lightly, "Listen, I wanted to apologize, Marcus. Sometimes it's easier to blame someone for something that's so frustratingly out of your control. I took that out on you. I'm sorry."
I shook my head as well as I could before croaking out, "my fault."
He put a hand on my arm and shot out, "No, Marcus. It wasn't. I feel ashamed that it took almost losing you today to make me realize that. None of it was your fault. You know just as well as I do that Vanessa did what she wanted all the time."
I just listened to Ethan. I didn't know how much I had desperately needed to hear this to be able to move on. I had considered Ethan my little brother and being shunned by your family is no easy thing.
"Vanessa used to tell me all the time that you were the only one in the world we could trust with our lives," Ethan continued and I felt tears spring in my eyes. "I betrayed that, Marcus. It was so much easier to hate you than have to face the fact that she decided to leave me. I... I don't know how to deal with that but I'm going to do my best to try." He finished, his chest heaving and his tears emerging and my heart just leapt for him and the pain that he'd probably always have to carry along with him. I wished I could give him the ease that he'd given to me.
I coughed the words out as they burned my chest, "I'm... sorry."
His tears continued as he reached over and hugged me and I did my best to pat at his back. I could tell that he had carried the weight of the world for the last two years but maybe I could help carry some of that weight for him now.
He leaned back after a moment and gave me a smile. "I should probably let your girlfriend come in now. She let me see you first. Said you needed it. So I'm just going to grab a coffee from the cafeteria."
At the mention of Mabel and girlfriend I could feel my heart begin to go into overdrive. The stupid machine I was hooked up to was a testament to that. I just needed to see her. Hold her. Tell her I was sorry. Promise to never do it again.
Ethan stood up, "Mabel's really special, Marcus. She cares about you... a lot. It's nice to see that good things can come for you and maybe in time for me as well."
He walked out of the room and my heart thumped in anticipation of seeing Mabel. Would she be upset? Would she hate me?
Before I could dwell too much on these questions, the door opened and my red headed Bambi peaked her head in. "Marcus," She trailed as she took in my body. Her already red rimmed eyes immediately brimming with tears. She walked next to me and stood there, one hand crossing her body and holding her arm. I just wanted to scream out let me kiss you but my chest had other ideas as I let out a string of coughs.
"Are you okay? Should I get a nurse?" She asked in a panic, her gaze darting out the door as she scanned for help.
I took in shallow breaths as I pushed out the words, "Come... here."
She immediately ran over to me and carefully draped her arms around me and I wrapped my arms as tightly as I could around this sweet girl. I felt her tears continue to fall out as her chest heaved and I just held her. Both of us needing this more than we knew. My heart felt full finally and that was a feeling I didn't ever want to lose.
That's how we lay together until my eyes began to drift closed and the morphine overtook me.
When I finally came to, I realized Mabel's body was no longer next to me. This time, Miranda sat in the chair, studying me intently. Her eyes lit up at my finally being awake, "I'm so glad you're okay!" She enthused.
I smiled at her before her expression changed into one of annoyance, "What on earth were you thinking? You're a firefighter! You should know better than to run into burning buildings without the proper protection!"
I think she knew I couldn't respond and was loving this moment. She could finally lecture me uninterrupted.
"If Marco hadn't dragged you out of that house, you'd be dead, Marcus."
I shot her a confused look and she continued to elaborate. "Marco saved a puppy that was inside and dragged you out by the collar of your shirt. That dog is a hero."
Sure, he saved the puppy first. Nice to know where his loyalties lie.
She paused for a minute, "So, did Ethan talk to you?"
I nodded at her, still feeling shocked that Ethan was here. "How..." I croaked out but Miranda for the gist of it.
"Mabel met with him before this," she gestured to the hospital bed. "She wanted to talk with him."
Mabel..?
Miranda continued, "I don't know what kind of angel you seem to have found yourself, Marcus, but hurt her like that again and I'll kick your ass."