After driving for a while, Lorelai said, "Ah. No music. I can't believe we forgot to bring tunes."
Rory said, "Do you realize that neither of us has the vaguest idea where we are?"
Lorelai asked, "What is a road trip without tunes?"
"The sun is directly behind bus," Rory said.
"Never been in this car for any extended period of time without playing AC/DC," Lorelai stated.
"I have no idea which way it's going," Rory said.
"I need my Highway to Hell," Lorelai stated.
"I think I'm on it," Delilah said. She was trying to read Anna Karenina, which was hard because her mother and sister were complaining non-stop for about two miles.
"I agree with Lila," Rory said.
"There's nothing on the radio but Top 40 and Christian Rock. Christian Rock, there's an oxymoron for you. I need my tunes," Lorelai said.
Rory snapped, "Stop complaining about the tunes!"
"Stop complaining about our whereabouts and you, Lila, stop complaining about our complaining," Lorelai complained.
"Well, my complaint is legitimate, yours is infantile," Rory stated.
Lorelai conceded, "Okay, you're right." She turned on the radio, "Ooh, ooh, yee-haw, yes. Country music, must be my lucky day."
Rory turned the radio off, "We have to figure out where we're going."
Lorelai said, "No we don't."
Delilah said, "Mom, I would like to get home eventually to my boyfriend and girlfriend."
Lorelai said, "The point of this is to be spontaneous. To drive and land someplace we've never been and never expected to be."
Rory said, "Sounds risky."
"Sounds like the start to a horror movie that I had watched at one point," Delilah said.
Lorelai countered, "Sounds exciting."
"Serendipity has never been kind to us," Rory stated.
Lorelai replied, "Ah, yes, but I talked to serendipity on the phone last night. She feels bad about how she's treated us in the past. We had a nice chat. It's all gonna be different now."
Delilah was sure that she heard her mom saying "It's all gonna be different now" before and it felt like everything was still the same.
They drove past a sign.
Rory asked, "What did that sign say? It said 'Don't' or 'Death' on it."
"Rory, relax," Delilah said. "Do you want gray hair at twenty?"
Rory said, "We're doomed, Lila!"
"Wrong," said Lorelai. "We're being guided by fate."
"I think we're lost," Rory said.
"We can't be lost," Lorelai stated. "We don't know where we're going."
"Which is the very definition of lost, Mom," Delilah pointed out.
Rory gave Lorelai a pointed look, "And I want you to stop, before you drive us into the Atlantic Ocean."
"I'll try," said Lorelai.
That wasn't assuring.
"At least we'll know where we are," Rory continued.
"Unless it's the Pacific," Lorelai added, turning the radio back on.
"Coming up, a three song super set from Hootie and the Blowfish," the announcer said.
Lorelai groaned, while Rory wailed, "What?"
Lorelai pulled over at a roadside food stand, to get food and to use the facilities, because Delilah started complaining about needing to go.
So they pulled over so Delilah can go, while Lorelai and Rory looked at the food and stopped by a place called Haden's Nut House.
Delilah thought it sounded kind of gross.
"You know what? I love road food," Lorelai stated as Delilah came up to them.
Rory had a bag of nuts. "I love it too."
"You like all kinds of food," Delilah said.
Lorelai asked, "Yeah, but what can be better than what they serve at a Haden's Nut House?"
"Unless you don't like nuts," Rory said.
"Or if you're allergic to nuts," Delilah replied.
"As if those people exist," Lorelai said. "You know, if I was in a rock band touring and stuff, I'd make the bus driver stop at every Haden's Nut House we pass." She opened the jeep to get in.
Delilah pushed her way to sit in the passenger seat.
Rory gave her a dirty look, but continued speaking to Lorelai, "Wow, your Behind the Music is gonna be really wild." She got in the back.
Lorelai pulled out and started driving down the road. Rory was looking at a map that she finally narrowed down their whereabouts after Delilah asked a woman where they were. Rory started, "Okay, so if we continue on the way we've been going—"
"What are you doing?" Delilah asked, noticing Lorelai taking her phone out.
"I'm calling Sookie," Lorelai stated.
Rory asked, "Now?"
"Uh, well, I didn't get a chance to call her before we left so she doesn't know about the..." Lorelai trailed off.
"Oh," Rory replied.
Delilah asked, "Can you pull over while you take this phone call?"
Lorelai replied, "Why?"
"So you don't be distracted while driving," Delilah said. "Or you can hand me the cell phone so I can talk to her instead."
Lorelai handed the phone over to Delilah, so she can tell Sookie.
"Hi Sookie, its Lila. Mom is driving," Delilah said.
Sookie asked, "Hi, is she on her way in? I'm almost done with the cake."
Oh god.
"Oh, no," Delilah said. "We decided to hit the road because the engagement is off."
Sookie said, "What? What happened?"
Delilah looked at her mother, "I think Mom will tell you why later."
"Ooh, tell her to tell Miss Patty, so that way the town will know when we get back," Lorelai told Delilah.
"Mom said to tell Miss Patty so the town will know by time we get back," Delilah said.
"The town will know within the hour," Sookie agreed.
"Yeah," Delilah replied.
"Consider it done." Sookie asked, "So where are you going?"
"I don't know. Not even Mom knows," Delilah said.
"Ah, my favorite kind of trip," Sookie replied.
"Yeah," Delilah said. "I'll let my mom call you back soon."
"Okie dokie," Sookie replied. "Buh bye."
"Bye," Delilah said, hanging up.
"Thanks," Lorelai told her, taking the cell phone back.
There was some rustling in the backseat and the sound of paper.
"That had better not be a map," Lorelai said.
"I'm sorry, but I'm openly defying your 'No Map' policy," Rory replied.
"Rory," Lorelai chided.
"Mom, it's gonna be dark in a couple of hours and I don't want to sleep in the car," Rory replied.
"I agree with her. I don't want to sleep in the back with that chair leg trying to get a piece of me like its mating season," Delilah grumbled.
Lorelai groaned, "My sense of adventure did not translate to my offsprings."
"Now, to the best of my map reading abilities, we're headed towards Portsmouth, New Hampshire," Rory said.
"Portsmouth," Lorelai muttered. "Huh."
Delilah asked, "What's wrong with New Hampshire?"
"I actually have a friend in Portsmouth," Lorelai said. "Donald, uhh, something-or-other Stein."
Delilah asked, "How do you not know your friend's name?"
"I'm guessing that it's not a close personal friend," Rory said.
"Donald moved there a couple of years ago and opened a B&B," Lorelai stated.
Rory groaned.
"It's either that or sleep in the car with the horny chair leg," Delilah told Rory.
"I'd rather sleep in the car," Rory said.
"Hey, stop that. The B&B is supposed to be pretty cool," Lorelai said.
In disbelief, Rory asked, "A cool B&B?"
"Yes," Lorelai replied.
"That's like saying an understated Nicholas Cage movie," Rory stated.
"Listen, I myself, am not usually a fan of the B&B, but Donald's place is different," Lorelai said.
Delilah asked, "How is it different?"
"Every room is decorated in a different weird style for a different century," Lorelai told her.
"That is kinda cool," Rory admitted.
"Okay, let's go," Lorelai said.
"Let's call," Rory countered.
"Let's go," Lorelai said.
"Let's call," Rory countered.
"Sense of adventure," Lorelai said.
Rory crumbled, "Let's go."
"Thank god," Delilah said.
"Mostly because I'm tired of this chair leg trying to get frisky," Rory said.
"Told you," Delilah said.
Night was starting to fall when they got the B&B. They took their bags out of the jeep and carried them inside.
There was a blonde woman sitting behind the front desk and Delilah took the time to look at the wallpaper and a display paper stating that it was now the Cheshire Cat.
"Hello there," the woman greeted.
"Hi," Lorelai replied.
The woman asked, "Would you like to ring the bell?"
Lorelai seemed confused, "What?"
The woman asked, "Would you like to ring the bell, you or your daughters?"
"I don't understand," Lorelai said.
The woman explained, "I'm not usually sitting here when guests arrive, so people ring the bell and they love to ring the bell, and you didn't get to ring the bell..."
"Uh," Lorelai stated and rang the bell.
"Well done," the woman said, standing up.
Lorelai asked, "Uh, do you have a room available?"
"Yes, we most certainly do, you luck pretty things you," the woman replied.
Lorelai whispered to Rory, "See they have a room."
"But it's not Donald's place. That display thing says it's the Cheshire Cat," Delilah told Lorelai.
Lorelai looked at the woman, "Um, does Donald happen to be here?"
"Oh, no, no, I bought this place from Donald last year. It's my place now. I'm LaDonn," the woman said.
"Hi," Lorelai greeted. "Oh, yes, I noticed it was a little different." Lorelai looked around, "Actually, very different."
LaDonn asked, "Oh, did you see it before?"
"Pictures," Lorelai stated.
"Well, it was wacky, just like Donald. It was fun, you know, but just a little too woo-hoo. It was just too eclectic. I don't think B&B-ers do either," LaDonn said.
Deliliah wondered if this woman looked in a mirror.
"No, you wouldn't want anything out of the normal," Lorelai said.
LaDonn handed a key with a keychain over to Lorelai, "Okay, room number three is all yours. Welcome to the Cheshire Cat."
"Nice name," Lorelai said. "I'm gonna consult with my daughters for just one second." She pulled the two girls away from the desk. She whispered, "We must leave this place immediately."
Rory asked, "And sleep where?"
"Ah, a hollow tree, a riverbank, I don't care," Lorelai whispered.
"Mom, I'm tired and I'm starving," Rory replied.
"And I don't want to have a clingy chair leg jabbing me in the back," Delilah replied.
"Okay," Lorelai stared. "She's name the place after an Alice in Wonderland character. This is my worst nightmare."
"And dying of exposure in a jeep is mine," Rory replied.
"It'll be fine," Delilah said. "We'll stay for one night and then we'll be gone."
"Okay, okay," Lorelai said, caving in. They walked back to LaDonn, "So, just point the way to room three."
"I'll take you there myself," LaDonn said, coming out from behind her desk. "Let me just grab your bags." She grabbed a duffle bag and put it over her shoulder.
"Oh, we can do that," Rory said.
"No no no no no, you are my guests. I won't hear of it." LaDonn said, grabbed the bags from Rory and Lorelai. She took the bag from Lorelai.
"Oh," Lorelai said, startled.
LaDonn looked at Rory, "Do you two wanna ring the bell? You haven't rung the bell."
Delilah rang it, sure she wouldn't hear the end of it.
"Maybe some other time," Rory said.
"Follow me," LaDonn said, leading them to the a staircase. "Watch out for Sammy."
She started heading up the stairs.
Lorelai and Rory looked at the cat that was laying on a step, "Wowsie wowza."
"That's either Sammy or the cat that ate Sammy," Rory replied.
Delilah looked at the cat, which seemed to be a little overweight to her, but not to the point of 'the cat that ate Sammy' size.
Rory headed upstairs, with Lorelai following. Delilah stopped and patted the cat on the head before going upstairs.
As soon as Lorelai stepped in the room, Delilah heard her scream a little.
LaDonn asked, "What is it, dear?"
Lorelai started, "Uhh, there's just a lot..."
"A lot of flowers," Rory finished.
"Yeah, like a ton of flowers," Lorelai said.
"A plethora of flowers," Rory added.
"Whole legions of flowers," Delilah added, just to have something to say.
"A load of flowers," Lorelai said.
"Thank you!" LaDonn said, "I get so many compliments on this room."
Delilah actually doubted that. People probably said something bad about the flowers and LaDonn probably took it the wrong way.
Lorelai said, "Yeah, are they moving?"
"It looks like it, doesn't it? There's foil in the paper and it gives it that illusion," LaDonn explained. "Isn't it terrific?"
"Unbelievable," Lorelai said.
"B&B-ers love a peaceful setting so that they can unwind from their hectic lives," LaDonn said. "What business are you in, dear?"
"Oh, me?" asked Lorelai. "Uh, publishing."
"How interesting," LaDonn replied. Lorelai hummed. "Now if you need anything, you just ring down or come down 'cause I love company. And, oh, I don't want to forget to give you our activity list," she handed the piece of paper over to Lorelai, "Never a dull moment around here." She started to leave.
"Thanks LaDonn," Lorelai told her.
"Yes, thank you," Rory said.
Once the door closed, Lorelai walked over to Rory and Delilah, "Okay, I think we just found the first room in the history of the world that would've made Liberace say, 'Whoa, step back. No one's that gay.'"
"I guess," Delilah said. "Maybe if it was different floral wallpaper, it would look better."
"And my gay daughter has spoken," Lorelai said.
"She's bisexual, not gay," Rory told her, picking up a guest book and opening it. "Look. This is a book that past guests have written in." She opened it as Lorelai hummed. "'This room made my soul soar.'" She and Lorelai made disgusted sounds.
Delilah said, "Try matching the handwriting with the handwriting on the activity list. Maybe she wrote it herself."
"All right, enough grossness, let's go eat," Lorelai said, heading for the door.
"Oh, food," Rory said. "I'm starving."
They left the room and started to head downstairs, when Lorelai stuck her arm to stop them.
Delilah asked, "What is it?"
"Dentists," Lorelai said, "Boston dentists. Cocktail hour at the Cheshire Cat."
Rory replied, "So?"
"So our exit is blocked," Lorelai said.
"Let's just rush past them," Rory said.
"Too risky," Lorelai replied.
"They're Boston dentists, not serial killers," Delilah said.
"And I'm hungry," Rory added.
"If they catch us, they'll clamp onto us like leeches and you know what that means," Lorelai explained.
Delilah asked, "What will they do to us?"
"Chitchat," Lorelai stated. "Stomach-churning, mind-numbing, soul-deadening chitchat."
"You can stay here while Rory and I go get some food," Delilah said.
Lorelai spoke quickly, "So, you're hungry enough to answer a hundred probing but only slightly differentiated from each other questions about Chilton, why you're not going Lila, life in a small town, your hunky hunky boyfriends and your beautiful blonde girlfriend, and why you're dating two people at the same time who are also dating each other?"
Rory made a face, like she saw Lorelai's point.
"I don't care," Delilah said. "I'm going for some pizza."
"Don't complain later when they allow you to leave at midnight," Lorelai joked.
Rory and Lorelai retreated to the room leaving Delilah to brave the serial killing Boston dentists on her own.
The dentists had let her leave, after a few questions, like what brought her to the Cheshire Cat, about her family (where's her mother and sister), her plans for her future (trying to get into Yale, Cornell, or a community college to open a bakery), and if she was single because I have a son...(no, ma'am, I'm currently in a relationship and I want to get food), so they allowed her to leave, which wasn't a surprise, since Lorelai exaggerated a lot at times.
She finally came back with pizza and drinks. Lorelai was looking through her purse, "Ooh, ahh, I struck gold."
Rory asked, "What is it?"
"Certs," Lorelai said, looking at a candy.
"Let me catch my breath," Rory replied.
Delilah asked, "What is she doing?"
"She's looking for food from her purse," Rory said, running over to get a slice of pizza.
"I cannot, for the life of me, remember the last time I bought Certs," Lorelai said.
"That just makes the mints old," Delilah said.
"Fuzzy," Lorelai said, throwing the mint back in her purse along with other items she dug out. She went to get a slice of pizza. "How did you get away from the dentists?"
"I told them I was going for food and they let me leave," Delilah replied. "They're dentists not pirates. They're not going to shanghai me."
Lorelai asked, "What? They're now serial killing pirate dentists?"
"You get cranky when you're hungry," Delilah pointed out.
"And we're above everyone else on the planet," Lorelai stated.
"Clearly," Rory replied.
It was nearing eight-thirty when Delilah looked up from her book, hearing what sounded like singing.
Delilah asked, "Are they singing?"
"Yeah," Lorelai said. "It's a nice capper to the day."
"In the course of three hours, they've participated in every inane B&B group activity known to man," Rory said.
"Well, there's nothing else to do," Delilah said. "There's no TV in here. What else are they supposed to do?"
Lorelai asked, "Finish off with a mass suicide?"
Delilah didn't know what to say to that.
Rory asked, "So, what do you want to do?"
"I don't know," Lorelai said. "We could go to sleep."
"Mm, its 8:23," Rory stated looking at the alarm clock.
"Good lord," Lorelai stated.
"I'm not really sleepy," Rory said.
"Me neither," Lorelai agreed. "We could sing."
Delilah asked, "Sing what?"
Lorelai asked, "How about Anarchy in the UK? We can sing it at the top of our lungs."
"Oh, that would be good," Rory said. "Or, uh, we could talk."
"Oh, okay," Lorelai said.
"Okay," Rory agreed.
Lorelai asked, "What about?"
"Oh, I don't know," Rory replied. "Umm, Max?"
"Uh, no," Lorelai replied.
Rory asked, "Why?"
"Because I don't want to," Lorelai replied.
"You said we could talk," Rory pointed out.
"Yes," Lorelai said. "Well, I thought you meant about makeup or something."
Delilah asked, "When has makeup ever been brought up in a conversation between you two?"
"I agree," Rory said.
"Never," Lorelai said. "That's why I thought I would bring it up with you."
Rory started, "I just need to know if—"
"Eat your pizza, Rory," Lorelai told her.
Rory huffed in response, "But—"
"Eat," Lorelai told her.
Delilah finished her pizza and went to take a shower, to avoid hearing an argument. It wasn't that much of a surprise that Rory wanted to talk about their mother's 'there goes the bride leaving Max behind' road trip.
Delilah had braved the serial killing Boston pirate dentists to get food while Lorelai sat to watch the floral wallpaper because she decided that the flowers are growing.
The dentists were supposed to be doing a nature walk.
"If we eat fast, we might be able to avoid the dentists," Lorelai said.
"Mom wrote 'Satanic forces are at work here,' in the guest book," Rory told Delilah.
"I'm not surprised," Delilah admitted, passing the plate of scones to Lorelai.
"So I wrote, 'sat and forever am at work here,'" Rory told her proudly.
"That makes no sense, but it's better than mentioning the Dark Lord Satan and we don't look like Satanists, so hey, whatever works I guess," Delilah said.
"Grab your bags while you eat," Lorelai said. "We have to go before they finish their synchronized showers."
Delilah grabbed her bag which was beige and light with a dark brown star patch sewn on the flap.
"Go, go, go!" Lorelai said.
They made it downstairs but the dentists were crowded at the window.
"Hello, strangers and Lila," LaDonn greeted them.
"LaDonn," Delilah greeted, smiling. LaDonn was wearing an interesting floral dress with a blue button up long-sleeve shirt.
Rory and Lorelai gasped, while freezing in place.
"Jeez," Lorelai said.
"We're all glad that it worked itself out," LaDonn stated.
"What? I mean, yeah, it did," Lorelai said. "What are you people doing?"
"We're watching hummingbirds," LaDonn said.
"They're still out there if you wanna scooch in," a woman stated.
"They're the darndest things. Flap their wings a hundred times a second. It's an engineering marvel," a man told them.
"That was not on the freaking list," Lorelai stated.
"We don't put things like this on the freaking list, because the delights of nature aren't on any kind of time schedule," LaDonn explained.
"No, Lordy," Lorelai said.
"So push in some chairs. We're gonna make some more fresh scones," the woman who told them to join in stated.
"Yeah, they're for tea this afternoon. I just brought out the second test batch, since Lila took most of the first batch. Have a taste," LaDonn offered.
"Another taste would not be bad," Rory admitted.
"Uh, maybe just a quick taste," Lorelai said.
They took some seats and took some scones.
The one she took was pretty good, the white chocolate raspberry one she had could use a little more.
"The white chocolate raspberry scones could use a vanilla icing on top," Delilah told LaDonn.
LaDonn nodded at her, "Really?"
Rory groaned, "Lila's turning into Sookie, Mom."
Dellilah tried to ignore that. "Ooh, I have created my own apple tart recipe that I can give you. I think they'll be a huge hit."
LaDonn got a notepad and a pen. "Here."
"Thanks," Delilah said and started writing down a recipe. "Ooh, I know a mini lemon meringue pie recipe too."
"Oh, write that down too," LaDonn told her.
Delilah smiled and wrote the recipe down too.
While Delilah talked to LaDonn, Rory and Lorelai talked to a married couple.
LaDonn asked Delilah, "Where did you get these recipes?"
"I actually created the apple tart recipe, but I got the lemon meringue pie from my boss, Fran Weston. I've worked there for almost two years now," Delilah said proudly. "One day, I want to open my own bakery."
LaDonn smiled, "Oh that sounds wonderful."
Delilah had gotten so caught up in talking to LaDonn that she was surprised when Lorelai said, "Uh, sorry, everybody, I'm gonna have to drag them away now."
"Aw shucks," said Rory. "It was so nice talking to you." She was clearly lying.
"Lovely talking to you dear," the woman told Rory, clearly not knowing that Rory was lying.
"Bye, LaDonn," Delilah told the owner.
"Bye, Lila," LaDonn said, as Delilah went after Rory and Lorelai.
"Hope you two get better," the man who was talking to Rory said.
"We will," Lorelai said.
Delilah and Rory were led to another room downstairs
"I now have abandonment issues," Rory told Lorelai.
"I had to make a call while Lila was busy turning into Sookie to pay attention to you," Lorelai defended herself.
"The both of you left me hanging," Rory said.
"I own you one," Lorelai said.
"Big time," Rory replied.
Delilah wasn't sure why Lorelai and Rory didn't like the dentists or LaDonn. They were a little weird, but so were Lorelai and Rory.
"All right," Lorelai said. She looked at Delilah, "What did you tell them to make them tell us to get better?"
"I panicked and said that you both had explosive diarrhea," Delilah said, her face feeling way to warm from embarrassment.
Lorelai asked, "Well, what do you wanna do?"
"Kill you two," Rory said.
Lorelai asked, "And?"
"I don't know," Rory replied. "What do you wanna do?"
Lorelai asked, "Bounce tennis balls off of Sammy?"
"That's awful," Delilah said. "That poor cat didn't do anything to you."
Lorelai asked, "What do you want to do, Lila?"
"I don't know," Delilah said.
"Okay," Lorelai said. "I don't know what to do either." She looked at Rory, "Why don't you pull out the map you're hiding?"
"I'm not hiding a map," Rory lied. Lorelai looked at her. "Well, I didn't want to drive around aimlessly again today." She took out the map and started unfolding it.
"I got it, I got," Lorelai said going to look at it. "So, what's near?"
"Um, Concord," Rory said.
"What is that? The look at grapes," Lorelai said.
"Manchester," Rory said.
"Uh, been there, done that," Lorelai said.
"You've never been there," Rory pointed out.
"Well, I feel like I have," Lorelai said.
"Salem," Rory said.
"Ooh, witches and stonings!" Lorelai said. "There's something there."
"I want to go there," Delilah said.
Rory started, "There's Boston, Newton, Needham..."
"Oh, go go go go back," Lorelai said.
Rory asked, "What? Boston? Newton?"
"I know where we're going," Lorelai said.
Delilah asked, "Salem?"
Rory asked, "Where are we going?"
"You will love it," said Lorelai, heading towards the door.
Rory started folding the map, "Well, if you tell us where we're going, I can chart a course and I can—" Lorelai walked over and crumbled up the map. "You're folding it wrong!"
"That's not folding," Delilah pointed out.
Lorelai asked, "Is it smaller?"
"Yes," Rory said.
"Then it's not wrong," Lorelai said. "Let's go. I will get you a new one when we get there."
Rory asked, "Where are we going?"
"Apparently it's a surprise," Delilah told Rory.
"I guess so," Rory replied.
They stood in front of the entrance gate for Harvard.
"I don't believe it," Rory said in awe.
"Believe it, 'cause there it is," Lorelai said.
"Harvard University," Rory said.
"It's really real," Lorelai stated.
"It looks just like the pictures," Rory said.
"Beautiful," Lorelai said.
Rory asked, "What are we doing here?"
"We are beholding your future," Lorelai said.
"It's big," Rory said.
"At least it's a lot bigger than my future," Delilah muttered.
"Come on, don't think like that. If you plan on going to Yale, you can make it," Lorelai said.
Delilah asked, "Because I'm a Gilmore?"
"No, because I raised you," Lorelai told her.
That didn't make much sense, but the sentiment counted.
"Come on," Lorelai said.
"Wait," Rory said. "Come on where?"
"Inside," Lorelai said.
"We can't go inside," Rory said.
Delilah asked, "Why not?"
Lorelai agreed, "Yeah. Is there a force field or something around the place?"
"This is Harvard," Rory stated.
"I know," Lorelai said.
"This is Harvard," Rory repeated.
"I know," Lorelai repeated.
"You can't just go inside," Rory said. "You need a guide."
"I'll be your guide," Lorelai said.
"I don't think that's how it works," Delilah pointed out.
Rory asked, "What do you know about Harvard?"
"I know this: look, there's Harvard," Lorelai stated, pointing at the gate.
"Mom," Rory started.
Lorelai started, "Hey, don't you want to see it? Huh? The place where you'll be living and studying and developing very naïve but pretentious world views that will come crashing down the minute you graduate?"
"Yeah, I do," Rory admitted.
"So? Come on, you know you want to," Lorelai started, grabbing Rory's arm. "All the other kids are doing it."
"Harvard," Rory stated, leading Lorelai and Delilah through the gate.
After getting a little lost and a nice college girl told them where the office was, giving them directions, so they went to get a guidebook.
As they walked down the stairs at Harvard, Lorelai looked at the guidebook, "Wow! Harvard is over three-hundred years old."
"Founded in 1636," Rory stated.
"That means that almost everyone who ever went to Harvard is dead now. Are you sure you still want to go here?"
"Yes, I'm sure," Rory stated.
"They developed the pacemaker here. Also, discovered how electromagnetism and radioactivity are two manifestations of the same force and postulated existence of a charmed quark," Lorleai read, "I was wondering who did that."
"The smarties at Harvard," Rory bragged.
Delilah took the guidebook and looked at it, "It says that they get eighteen thousand applicants every year, but they allow only two thousand in."
"Those are not good odds," Lorelai admitted.
"Mom," Rory said. "Yale is even harder to get in, though."
"Thanks for the reminder," Delilah said.
"No, no, no, you two are different," Lorelai said. "Past graduates: Henry James...isn't that a beer?"
"Are you thinking of Jack Daniels? That's whiskey," Delilah said.
"Henry James is a novelist," Rory corrected. "Go on."
"John Adams," Lorelai stated. "That's a beer!"
"John Adams was our president," Delilah corrected.
"Our second president," Rory clarified.
"Who is very in right now," Delilah added sarcastically.
"W.E.B, Du Bois, Yo-Yo Ma," Lorelai said. "Oh, cool! Fred Gwynne."
Rory asked, "Who?"
"The guy who played Herman Munster," Delilah said. "That's one of Matt's favorite series. To be fair, I think we watch it for Lily and Marilyn Munster. Yvonne De Carlo and Beverley Owen are babes."
"I'll agree with you on Lily," Lorelai stated.
Rory asked, "Do you want something?" She looked at the coffee vendor.
"Yeah, a nice cold Henry James," Lorelai joked.
Rory asked, "Or some coffee?"
"I'll take a latte," Delilah said.
Rory said, "I'm ordering coffee at Harvard." She went to the vendor.
Lorelai started looking at the bulletins. "Hey, there are people looking for roommates. Tons of them. 'Wanted, girl to share a two bedroom apartment, located on Trial Bridge, quiet street, quiet building so quiet roomie a must.' Join a convent and cloister yourself, you loser."
"That's kind of rude," Delilah said. She can see why someone wants a quiet roommate. A quiet person sounds better than someone who parties too much and is too loud, especially when the other person needs to study.
Rory came back, "Mom, its going to be two years before I go to Harvard and Lila goes to Yale. These people will have roommates or have graduated by then."
Lorelai asked, "Who says these are for you two?"
"Who are they for, then? Lila wants to go to Yale," Rory said.
"Me and Lila," Lorelai said. "If you're gonna live in a dorm, we'll need a room nearby so we can come visit you."
Rory asked, "How often are you two gonna visit?"
"I don't know," Lorelai said. "I'll visit every other day. I think Lila will visit for Christmas and spring break."
Rory went back to the vendor. A male student came up to the bulletin board.
"Man, there are a lot of postings here," the guy said. He seemed to be speaking to Lorelai.
"I'm going to check on Rory," Delilah said, going to the line. She didn't want to see the guy awkwardly flirt with her mother.
The guy asked, "You looking for a place to live?"
Rory looked over.
Delilah asked the man, "Do you serve lattes?"
"Yeah," the man said.
"I'll take one," Delilah said.
"Add two regular coffees with that," Rory stated.
The man nodded and went to get the coffees and late.
Delilah and Rory pooled together their money.
"Ginchy!" Lorelai stated.
Delilah thought, the hell?
"Cool, bye," the guy said, walking away.
"Bye," Lorelai said.
Rory got the coffees and Delilah got her latte.
"I think I'm gonna like college," Lorelai said. "Ooh, did you hear? I used 'existentialist' in a sentence!"
"It was very impressive," Rory said.
"You said 'ginchy'," Delilah pointed out.
Lorelai led them away from the vendor, and looked at the book guide, trying to figure out which building to look at.
Rory stopped walking and Delilah almost walked into her. Rory was looking at a building, and said, "Oh my."
Lorelai stopped and looked at the building, "What's this?"
"It's the library," Rory said.
"Oh," Lorelai replied.
"The biggest library I've ever seen," Rory said.
"Uh oh," Lorelai said. She looked at the guide book, "Brace yourself."
Delilah asked, "For what?"
Rory agreed, "Yeah, for what?"
"This is just one of the libraries," Lorelai said.
Rory asked, "One of the libraries?"
Lorelai read, "'This building is one component of a thirteen million volume collection housed in more than ninety different libraries. It's the oldest library in the United States and the largest academic library in the world.'"
Delilah nudged Rory, "Hey, Rory, breathe. Breathe."
"I'm a failure," Rory managed to said.
Lorelai asked, "What?"
"I am stupid," Rory said.
"Oh, stop," Lorelai said.
"I am uninformed and ignorant and...I can't even think of a second synonym for uninformed," Rory said.
Delilah offered, "Uneducated?"
"That too," Rory said. "I suck."
Delilah asked, "What makes you say that?"
"Thirteen million volumes?" Rory said, "I've read like, what, three hundred books in my entire life and I'm already sixteen? Do you know how long it would take me to read thirteen million books?"
Delilah asked, "Many decades if you try to read a book a day? Or at least ten perhaps? It's like you have to be born reading just to read thirteen million books."
"You don't have to read every one of them. Tuesdays with Morrie? Skip that. Who Moved My Cheese? Just stuff you already know."
"Okay, but every kid coming to Harvard is inevitably reading books, and different books, and I want to be able to converse intelligently with each of them and I can't do that unless I read books, at least a few from every genre and subgenre."
"Okay, come on," Lorelai said. "I'm getting you out of here."
"I sleep too much," Rory said.
"No you don't," Lorelai said.
"I've been frittering away my whole life," Rory continued.
"I think you've been trying to get into Harvard and spent most of your time reading," Delilah countered.
Rory asked, "Did I mention I suck?"
"You did, but considering how I chose at the last minute to try and get into Yale. I think I'm the twin who sucks here," Delilah said.
"Hey, the both of you don't suck," Lorelai said. "Come on."
She led them to a residential hall called Hollis Hall. Apparently it was for residents only.
"Oh, no," Delilah said. "I'm not going in there. I feel like that's too going a little too far and is a little creepy" She chose to sit on the steps and read.
Eventually they came out of the residential hall and Lorelai led them to a different building.
"God, these classrooms are huge," Rory stated.
"Better to fit those big Harvard brains," Lorelai stated.
They stood in the doorway to listen.
"—had given birth," the professor was saying, "Reckon on everything, expect everything. What sort of thought is this?"
"Depressing?" a male student said.
"On the surface, maybe," the professor replied. "But go underneath. What is he postulating beyond fatalism?"
The hell is he talking about? Delilah wondered.
Lorelai whispered, "Are we allowed to be hearing this?"
"You're the one dragging us around," Delilah whispered back.
Lorelai asked, "They wouldn't charge you a hundred bucks or something just for listening to part of a class?"
"I don't think Harvard would nickel and dime people like that," Rory said.
"Hey, I'm going to find a ladies room. You know, sneak a smoke, see if anybody slipped an aspirin in my coke," Lorelai stated.
"Okay, Rizzo," Rory replied. "I'd like to listen a little born more."
"I'll be back," Lorelai said.
"Lila and I will be here," Rory said.
Delilah tuned into the lecture, "The stoics believe the greatest happiness resulted from leading a virtuous life..."
Rory walked farther into the classroom, but Delilah latched onto Rory's sweater, "What are you—?"
Rory dropped her coffee in surprise and it felt like everyone turned to see where the noise came from, but only a few heads turned.
"Butterfingers," Delilah hissed at Rory, letting go of the sweater.
The professor asked, "In or out?"
Rory asked, "Excuse me?"
"If you're going to take the class, you have to take a seat," the professor stated.
"Oh, uh, okay," Rory said. "Sorry." She sat down at an empty desk at least one tier down.
Delilah found an empty seat next to a guy.
The professor asked, "Okay, where were we?"
"Stoics believing that the greatest happiness resulted from leading a virtuous life," Delilah answered automatically.
The professor continued and Delilah felt herself slipping from the lecture. She was sure that it was philosophy, but she can tell that Rory was enjoying the lecture.
At some point, she heard Rory say, "That's an interesting point, Professor, but I'm not sure I agree with it. That's because stoicism was not about giving up things of money and luxuries and stuff."
"That's right," the professor said. "By the time he was in his early forties, Seneca had earned enough money to acquire villas, farms, he ate well, he loved expensive furniture, but he didn't consider that a non-philosophical way to live."
"It's all kind of relative though," Rory stated.
"Oh, here we go," the student in front of Rory sighed.
Rory asked, "What?"
"We can't get through a class without debating relativism," the student said.
"I just meant that luxury to some is not necessarily luxury to others," Rory stated.
"A better subject for another time," the professor replied.
"Oh, sorry," Rory said.
"No, no, your point is well taken, but it's different than the matter at hand. What we're talking about is Seneca's choosing the better more comfortable of two options while remaining a stoic," the professor said.
Delilah looked at the door, spotted her mother, and went to her. "I'm not taking a philosophy class in college."
Lorelai gave her a tight-lipped smile.
Rory said, "Thanks. This was fun." She walked over to Lorelai and they left the class.
As soon as the door closed, Rory asked, "Did you see me?"
"Yes," Lorelai replied.
"I was in college," Rory stated.
Lorelai replied, "It was amazing!"
Rory asked, "Did I look like I belonged?"
"Completely," Lorelai said. "You're a natural."
"I can't even believe how it happened. I just sort of got swept up and then the teacher asked a question and before I knew it..."
"She was talking like she actually attended the classes," Delilah said.
"Sounds like she was blowing them away," Lorelai stated.
Delilah wasn't sure if Rory blew them away. The students were probably busy trying to recall if they had Rory in their class.
"Well, I don't know if I was blowing them away, but suddenly I was talking and I couldn't stop," Rory said.
"I know that feeling," Lorelai said.
"College is gonna be amazing. I can't wait. I love college. I love Harvard. I love fatalism," Rory stated as they walked towards the exit.
LaDonn insisted on carrying their bags down the stairs, as they were leaving.
"Oh, please LaDonn, we can carry the bags," Lorelai insisted.
"Nonsense," LaDonn said, shaking her head.
"But they're so heavy," Rory stated. She had gotten a Harvard shirt, hat, and a pillow as a souvenir.
"I'll just get them down the stairs for you," LaDonn said. She stopped at the bottom. "Whew. Let me catch my breath here."
"Oh, wow!" Lorelai replied. "Sammy's AWOL, huh?"
LaDonn hummed in response.
"Sammy," Delilah said. "She's not on the stairs like she used to be."
"What?" LaDonn asked, "My Sammy?"
"Yes," Lorelai replied.
"Oh, she's rarely ever on the stairs," LaDonn stated.
Delilah asked, "Do you have two cats?"
"No, just the one," LaDonn replied.
Delilah asked, "Then whose cat was it that's on the stairs then?"
"I don't know," LaDonn stated. "But it's definitely not Sammy."
"Strange," Delilah said.
"Yeah," Lorelai replied. "There has not been one moment over our entire stay when she has not been right there."
LaDonn asked, "On the stairs?"
"Yes," replied Lorelai.
"Oh, she's hardly ever on the stairs," LaDonn said, before heading to the front desk.
"Forget it Jake," Rory stated, "Its Chinatown."
They went to the front desk, where LaDonn was working.
"Everything's on your card. I hope you enjoyed your stay." LaDonn asked, "Did you enjoy your stay?"
"I did," Delilah stated.
"Very much," Rory replied.
LaDonn asked, "Aw, very much?"
"I sat and forever am at work here," Lorelai said.
LaDonn asked, "What?"
"It was great," Rory stated.
"Well, there you go," LaDonn said, handing over what looked to be a check or something. "Drive safely, and tell all your friends about the Cheshire Cat."
"I will," Delilah said. "I wished I had gotten something from here to show them."
"As soon as you leave, I'm gonna do my favorite part of the job," LaDonn stated.
Lorelai asked, "Oh, what's that?"
"I'm gonna read what you wrote in our guestbook," LaDonn said.
"For the record I had nothing to do with what's written in it," Delilah stated.
Lorelai asked, "Give us a five minute head start?"
LaDonn asked, "Beg pardon?"
"Thank you," Rory stated and they picked up their bags before walking out the front door.
"I like her," Delilah said as they walked out the bed and breakfast. "She's kind of weird, but she's cool."
As they entered Stars Hollow, Lorelai said, "Last chance to get a tour of Yale."
"No," Delilah said quickly. She didn't want the 'Rory Treatment' by walking in a residential dorm, go inside some girls' room for a picture, and barge into the middle of a lecture. "I'll be surprised."
They had driven past it and Rory had spotted a tree and said, "That looks like a good tree to study under. You should study there."
"Okay," Lorelai said in a sing-song way.
Rory asked, "You know what I love most about Harvard?"
Lorelai replied, "No, what?"
She and Delilah had heard Rory talk about Harvard the entire drive.
"They don't sell giant foam fingers," Rory replied.
"No, they've got class out the wazoo," Lorelai said. She drove into town, "Home."
"Feel like we've been gone a long time," Rory stated.
Lorelai asked, "You know what's weird?"
Delilah asked, "LaDonn's mysterious stair sleeping cat that's apparently not Sammy?"
"No, well, yeah, but no," Lorelai stated. "Every time I leave town, even for just a little while, I always expect everything to look different."
"And it never does," Rory agreed.
"It never does," Lorelai stated.
"It never does," Delilah echoed out of obligation.
They drove down the road and it looked like some townies were giving them sympathetic looks. Miss Patty waved at them and Delilah awkwardly waved back, seeing the older woman dab at her eyes with a handkerchief.
They drove past Kirk, who held his arms out. "Need a hug?"
Delilah considered getting out and giving Kirk a hug, but then remembered the incident at the bakery and decided 'No, not today.'
"Patty's good," Lorelai stated.
"The very best," Delilah agreed. She wondered where Matt and Samantha where at, because she missed them both.
They pulled up to the house. Lorelai asked, "So, what about dinner?"
"It should be probably be something healthy since we've been eating junk the whole trip," Rory stated.
"I could get behind that," Delilah agreed.
"We had lettuce on our burgers last night," Lorelai stated.
"Lettuce that you picked off," Delilah added.
Lorelai stated, "But it left its essence."
Rory asked, "There was lettuce essence on our burgers?"
"Definitely," Lorelai replied.
Rory asked, "And that satisfied our vegetable requirement?"
"For the week," Lorelai stated.
"We can't argue with cold hard facts," Rory stated.
Delilah rolled her eyes and noticed the chuppah in the front yard.
Rory asked, "What?" She noticed it too. "Oh, I forgot about that."
"Me too," Lorelai replied. "Well, everything's the same."
Delilah reached over and patted Lorelai on the head as Rory put her hand on Lorelai's shoulder.
Lorelai unbuckled her seatbelt and got out of the jeep.
"Let's unpack the jeep while Mom..." Delilah started and trailed off, looking at Lorelai.
Delilah chose not to go her grandparents' Friday night dinner in Hartford. She had considered it but she chose to catch up with Matt and Samantha instead. Besides, she knew that it was going to be about Rory and Harvard and she didn't want to deal with that, especially due to the possible argument that was going to erupt over Lorelai canceling the wedding. Emily had made sure that Delilah knew that she was going to attend the one next week.
Delilah wasn't expecting for Samantha to have a, possibly Japanese girl, over at her house, along with Matt having Velvet with him either. If she had known that they had friends over, she would've invited Jake to hang out with them, but she didn't know.
"Delilah, this is my friend Erika Tanaka," Samantha said, motioning to the girl. Erika wore a black-and-white dress that looked homemade. "Erika, this is my girlfriend, Delilah."
Erika smiled at Delilah. "Samantha told me all about you. Don't worry; I heard good things from her. I moved in about a day after you went on vacation."
Delilah awkwardly smiled back because it looked like her mother was wrong. Something did change, but it was hopefully for the best.