CHAPTER 39.
I TOOK a deep breath before I stepped inside Lucas' condo unit. He said that he's gonna be here so I drive straight here without a second thought after processing the papers for the construction of my shop. Mayroon na akong lupa at plano para doon. Ang kulang na lamang ay ang pagbuo nito. I want to tell this to Lucas excitedly. But the way things are still going on between the two of us, hindi ako makahanap ng tiyempo.
"Hey." Pilit kong pinasigla ang aking tono. It was just the other day when I pleaded Kyle and Fred to talk to Lucas and to clear his misunderstandings. But then, hindi ko rin sigurado kung anong nangyari pa pagkatapos niyon.
Fred said that it went peacefully and that Lucas accepted our reason. Nandoon rin si Kyle at ganoon rin ang sinabi niya. Ang hindi ko lang maintindihan ay kung bakit ngayon lang nagparamdam muli sa akin si Lucas. I was expecting him to at least call me afterwards. But that didn't happen. Tila mas lalo lamang na lumala ang pagiging uncontacted niya. He didn't reply to my texts either. Hindi makuhang tanggapin na parang bigla niya nalang gustong putulin ang ugnayan namin.
Nakagat ko ang labi ko at pinilit na hindi maiyak nang makita ko siya. He is sitting in a single couch while reading a book. He looked at me coldly.
"Have a seat." Itinuro niya ang kaharap na couch na may kalayuan sa kanya. I gaped at him unbelievingly. My teeth gritting in rage.
Why does he speak like I'm some kind of work now?
"I don't want a seat, I want an explanation, Lucas." Matigas na sabi ko habang matiim siyang tinitingnan. Pinagkrus ko ang aking braso para hindi niya mapansin ang mga nakayukom kong kamao.
He sighed and looked at me unamused. He tilted his head before shaking it with unbelieving expression.
"You're telling me to explain? You aren't in the position to demand me anything." Malamig niyang sabi. I bit my lips, suppressing a painful sigh.
I can feel almost feel tears falling from my eyes. I miss him so much but I can't even touch him. Just because he's being so pain in the ass right now!
"Lucas, if this is about how I meet up with Frederick, I told you, we're just friends. Why can't you trust me?" I started to sob. I can't understand myself, I it's like something is stabbing my chest. Lucas don't look any concerned towards me. If this is still the Lucas I loved, he would have started to console me right now. Even though he's so stiff and awkward as hell.
"I've never trusted you." He coldly replied shattering my heart in the process. Why is he being so difficult?
Ito na ba? Dito na ba magtatapos ang panandaliang kaligayahang binigay sa akin?
Is it because I'm not a real character in this story? Or is it because I'm really not his destined one? Or is it both?
Whatever the reason is, I feel so fucking stupid for crying. Have I really became fragile and emotional to this point? And the jerk that's causing me pain doesn't even bother to look guilty at all. I steeled myself and walked straight near him. I gritted my teeth again and forcefully swung my right fist to his face. He didn't try to dodge and received it willingly instead. I thought I would feel better after I hit him but my heart clenches more at the sight of him.
"Fuck you for making me cry." I stood up and wiped my face. I closed my eyes for a bit to calm my nerves.
This won't do. We won't be able to have a decent conversation this way. Mabuti pa sigurong pakalmahin ko muna at ihanda ang sarili ko bago siya puntahan ulit. Maybe after that, Lucas won't be act as indifferent as now. Maybe time is all we need. Baka pagkatapos ng ilang araw, magkaayos na ulit kami.
This is the first big fight I have with him... at ang sakit pala talaga.
I was about to walk away from him when I heard him speak again. It's like a cold wind of December that blew between us.
"You said that I should tell you if my feelings for you starts to fade... so I thought I should tell you." My fists clenched tightly so do as my heart. Why is he bringing this up? Is he serious?
"Lucas.."
"You told me that I could leave and hurt you as I please." He continued. I closed my eyes and turned to him. He fixed his gaze towards me and waited for me to speak.
'C'mon Loraine, say it! Ito naman dapat ang mangyari 'diba? This should've happened from the start! Hindi siya para sa'yo, alam mo 'yan!'
"Fine. But, If I walk out through this door, it'll be really over." I coldly said staring at his expressionless eyes. He didn't attempt to take a step nor to show any actions of disapproval. His expression says that if I really walk through his door, it'll be the same as walking my out of his life and he wouldn't even careless.
"Go, Claudia." His tone is freezing. And for the first time, it really felt cold bringing a bucket of negative emotions to my system-- fear, pain, shock, confusion, and grief. I can feel them all at once.
I glanced at him for the last time. "You told me that I could leave and hurt you but you'll just take me back. Will you?" I painfully asked. He looked a little taken aback.
I quickly walked away before he could respond. I don't know the reason why I didn't hear him. Or maybe I know but just couldn't accept it.
I ran through the lobby not minding the people that I ran and bumped into. I took my car drive to somewhere far. Just some place where I could breath and calm myself.
I find myself driving to Batangas. To the place where me and Lucas first met.
∆
WHAT TIME is it? How many bottles have I drank so far? Damn it! It still hurts! Why? Ilan pa bang alak ang kailangan kong inumin para makalimot?
I annoyingly threw the finished bottle that I have in my hand to the moon's direction but it just landed in the seawater. I groaned in frustration. Nagsisimula nang umikot nang paningin ko dahil sa kalasingan pero ang sakit ay nakasentro pa rin sa dibdib ko. Bakit ayaw niyang mawala? Bakit pa ba kasi ako nagpunta dito?
I thought I could breath fine in this place but the memories we've made here suffocates me more. The feeling of being alone in this broad, dark and cold seashore just made me lonelier. I can hear nothing but the water's splash and the cold air blowing. I should've brought someone here with me. I should've dragged Khalil here to console me, but I realized that he's still out of the country so I laughed. I laughed and think about how there's no one's free to join me company. And then I started crying again.
"I shouldn't have loved him in the first place! He's the freaking male lead, I know! And who the heck am I? I'm just a stupid pathetic villainess! Why am I so stupid?" I cried more, bellowing at the peaceful scene of nature in front of me. I reached for another bottle of beer but there's not a single bottle anymore. I threw a tantrums like a brat and glared at the glowing bright and round moon that seems to be laughing at me.
I felt someone's presence behind my back, so I turned around to see who is it. Since my eye sight's blur, I can't recognize him.
"Who are you? You gonna kidnap me? I can fiiight, y'know?" Natatawa kong sabi saka tumayo. Bigla akong nakaramdam ng hilo and was about to fall when the guy caught my waist. Napatawa naman ako sa hindi malamang dahilan.
"Dang girl, you're wasted." I can picture the guy smirking in the back of my head. I don't know who he is but I think I've already heard his voice once or twice. Ah, I can't remember. And I laughed again.
"I'm not wasted. Hihi!" I hiccuped midway that made him laugh. I laughed along side him.
"Sure you are." Natatawang sabi niya saka ako binitawan. I didn't like the feeling of being alone again so I grabbed his hand and sobbed.
"Don't leave me alone." I continued to sob as pain once again assaulted my chest. "Lucas, please stay." I pleaded desperately.
I didn't know what I was doing but the beer I drank took over my system. I don't want to let go of this man in front of me. I don't want to be left alone. The pain and fear of the thought of Lucas leaving me grew more to me. I don't really want to leave him. I just want him, why can't it be just like that?
I can feel the guy's smirk widen as he rested his arms around my waist. He leaned on me and whispered in my ears.
"If you come with me, I'll make you forget the pain." He breathily whispered. My grip in his arm tightened and I don't understand everything's that's going on. I just nodded submissively.
"Just don't leave me alone." I slurred and I can feel my conciousness fading. The guy caught me as I fell and it seemed to appear like I'm hugging him. Before my eyes dropped, I think I saw a familiar girl and heard a click of a camera. Or maybe it was just my imagination. Hopefully, it really was.
∆
The man smirked to himself as he examined the unconscious woman in his arms. The combined scent of alcohol and her expensive cologne tickles his nose that he just want to drop his face into the woman's exposed neck and fuck her in the sand. His eyes feasted at the woman's cleavage down to her silky smooth long legs. He just wants to lick every corner of the woman's body.
"Stop eye-raping that bitch, Ellie." The other girl walked towards him as she shot him a warning glance. He just raised an eye at the girl until she's already in front of them.
The girl smirked as she watched the completely passed out woman, not caring about the world. Not caring about the world that will do nothing but pain her once she wakes up.
"You set the camera?" The man asked. The girl smirked.
"Tch, room 009. Ito ang susi." The girl handed the keys towards the man who gladly accepted it.
She smirked at herself as she watched the man carry the woman in bridal style towards the private resort hotel that Adam Craig Weston once owned. Who could've imagine that taking revenge would feel so great and satisfying.
The man frantically opened the room. He's so frustrated about the damn keys. Gusto na niyang makasama at wasakin ang babaeng hawak niya ngayon. He can't wait for his fill anymore. Kakabukas pa lamang nang pinto ay hinagis na niya sa kama ang babae. Napaungol naman ito ngunit hindi nagising nang dahil sa kalasingan. He forgot even forgot to lock the door as he quickly undressed himself and the woman on the bed until only his boxers and the woman's undies are left. His eyes stared at the woman's body for a few more moments while his member painfully twitched inside the only cloth he's wearing.
"What a feast." He gulped as he was about to unclog the woman's brassiere when he heard her sob again. He stilled and quietly looked at the woman's sleeping face. She looked like she's in pain while crying, it made his chest throbbed for a second.
"Lucas, I love you so much. Please don't leave me." The woman mentioned the name repeatedly in her sobs. The man clicked his tongue. He was paid for this job and he really wants to have sex with the woman because he thought that she was really beautiful and hot. However, seeing her whimper and cry the name of another guy made him lose both his interest and appetite. His member losses the excitement as well.
He sighed and took the camera away. He instantly felt sleepy after a shower as he dropped his naked body on the other side of the bed but kept his distance. He didn't do anything more to the woman and just drifted off to dreamland.