Millie felt Steve clutch her hand tightly as the elevator door opened and the pair walked into the common area of the compound with Bucky.
His hand was sweaty, nerves coursing through his body. He was devising a game plan of sorts in his head, had been all weekend since he found out Tony's plans for his girl.
No matter what, Millie was a priority, and Bucky knew this too. Steve wasn't thrilled that Bucky would be going back up against Hydra either, but he trusted Bucky could mostly take care of himself. Millie didn't get any strength, no incredible fighting abilities. If she was caught up in the bullshit that was hydra, she wouldn't make it.
No matter what, save Millie. If he couldn't stop her from going, he would do everything in his power to keep her safe, even if it meant other people would get hurt.
Even if it meant other people would die.
"Millie!" Tony called out, smiling at her despite Steve's bitter glare.
"Good morning, Tony." She smiled softly. "Steve said you had something to ask me?"
Tony raised his brows, glancing at Steve and then doing a quick turn to Bruce before locking them sheepishly on hers. "Cap didn't ask you?"
"Figured you could ask her yourself." Steve grunted. "Considering it's you who wants to do this in the first place."
Tony swallowed harshly and gave Steve a quick nod. "Fair, I suppose that makes sense. Millie, Bruce and I have been talking and we wanted to ask you to join us on a mission."
Everyone else who sat in the commons ears' pricked up, clearly the first they'd head of any of this too.
"What?" Nat snapped. "Tony, you just said this mission is intense."
"That's the point, Romanoff."
"She could die!" Clint added.
"We won't let that happen!"
Millie was overwhelmed by the bickering in the room, leaning more into Steve, feeling incredibly uncomfortable by the way everyone was arguing over her when she hardly knew what was happening.
She glanced up at Steve, suddenly understanding why he wanted her to say no. She also understood why he thought she wouldn't.
"Is it dangerous?" She mumbled to him amongst the fighting.
Steve nodded. "Very."
"What is the mission?"
"Save the hostages." He swallowed. "They're children."
"Who kidnapped them?"
"Hydra."
Millie felt her stomach drop at the name. She just got back and now she felt like she was being thrust back into their grasp. Even Bucky appeared uneasy at the thought, but she supposed it was natural for both of them.
"And what would I be doing?"
"You'd stay on a quinjet, and as we find the children we would bring them back to you. You'd likely be with Bruce."
"So I'm a medic?"
Steve looked down and sighed. "Yes...and..."
"And?"
"Tony want you to take their pain away. The thing is that these kids, they...they, uh, they're going through exactly what you did."
Flashbacks filled Millie's mind, the agonising pain that she went through from being tested on, the way it felt like her body was exploding from the inside.
"But, that means you'd have to feel that pain all over again."
Millie was silent for a moment before she sighed and looked down. "How many kids are there going to be?"
"I don't know, Millie..."
She nodded, taking in Steve's words. She was scared out of her mind, accepting the fact that she would be in a world of suffering in a matter of hours, and trying to comprehend the fact that maybe her loved ones would get hurt.
All things considered, she took a deep breath in and faced everyone in the commons who were still arguing. "Okay, I'll do it." She said confidently.
Everyone stopped, staring at her with varied expressions. She didn't need to see Steve to know which he was wearing, though.
Fear, which he far too often covered up with the look of something else.
"You will?" Tony asked, slightly shocked.
"Of course. I'm a nurse, I help people."
He clapped his hands together in delight, avoiding the scowl of Steve. "Excellent! Do you remember where you had your fitting?"
"Uh...yes?" She hummed. "I think."
"Good, go there and get in your suit."he pointed to the stairs. "And when your done, meet us just outside the hangar to go over the plan."
"Okay..."
She started to walk away and Steve followed her trail, but was quickly halted by Tony. "Not you, pretty boy. You go suit up and meet me down there asap."
~
Millie took a deep breath, navigating the maze like halls of the avengers compound until finally she found the hangar.
Her suit was plain, very simple. I'm fact, it didn't look like a suit at all. Everyone had these intricate works of art, made to suit each of them. Millie was wearing a pair of cargo pants held up by straps a long sleeve shirt. It didn't seem particularly fancy at all, but she didn't mind.
As she slid open the door to the hangar, she saw everyone huddling around a big round table, bickering it seemed– as usual.
"Ah, Millie!" Tony acknowledged her. "You look great."
Steve turned sprung and his composure instantly softened at the sight of her, taking in her look. She looked so tough, so strong. She always had been, of course, but a nurses uniform and 40s skirts didn't exactly do wonders for the depiction of strength– even if they thought they should.
"Looks like you got that suit at Walmart, Stark." Clint snorted and Nat smacked him.
"It's new stark technology, actually." He rounded the table to stand next to Millie, pointing parts of her suit out. "Her top is made out what I call micro mail, incredibly fine mesh that won't weigh her down but will protect her from slashing to an extent. And once it gets damaged, it's technology will send both Steve and I a message to let us know her armour is low."
"I thought it was just really scratchy linen..." Millie remarked.
"Her pants have a built in parachute, well...they're supposed to. I actually haven't gotten around to that yet. Oh, and plenty of space for tools or weapons."
"And the suspenders?" She asked.
"They looked cool."
"Oh..."
"Anyway, come over and we will run you through things."
She nuzzled her way between Bucky and Steve, slipping her hand into his and leaning in close. He was in has captains suit, dark navy blue with a silver star in the middle that was starting to wear.
Bucky was wearing his usual leather-combat getup, missing a sleeve to accommodate for his metal arm. They both looked rather tough, and Millie knew if she was hydra she wouldn't want to be going up against them.
"So, Millie, you're going to be in quin jet C, with Bruce who will be flying. Once we arrive in Russia, Bruce will lower us down. You guys will stay close, as hidden as possible, and we will pass the children to SHIELD agents who will deliver them to you guys. It's your job to take care of them. Once we have them all, you two will fly them back to New York.
"Wait, SHIELD agents?"
"Yes, they'll be on in Quin Jet B."
"I didn't realise we we would be working with them."
"It's all hands on deck today. They're here to help out, and when we're done, Nat will fly us avengers back in Jet A."
As if on cue, the door slid open again and a group of about 10 or so agents stepped through, being led by none other than Sharon Carter.
Instantly, Millie's mood changed. She honestly wasn't even sure if Sharon was still at the compound, avoiding her as best she could.
"Five of the agents will enter the Hydra base with us, the other five will be around the exits of it, ready to take the kids and deliver them to you."
"You're not scared, are you, Millie?" Sharon cut in.
"No." Yes.
"Don't worry, I'll make sure Steve is okay." She said slyly.
"I can make sure I'm alright myself, thanks." He grumbled, not even looking at the blonde.
Tension was thick, but Tony ignored it. "Alright, avengers...SHIELD." He said sternly. "Let's go save some kids."
The members of SHIELD all piled into the first Jet, while the rest of the avengers split between jet A and C.
Steve, Bucky, and Tony all joined in with Bruce and Millie, strapping in and speeding off through the sky rather quickly at the rate the jet was able to ascend. Steve didn't let go of Millie's hand at any point, holding her as close to him as possible.
"It's a long ride, even in these things. About 3 hours." Tony muttered, not looking up from his phone.
"Better than 13!" Bruce yelled from the pilots seat.
It was uncomfortably quiet in the quin jet, nobody really spoke after that. Everyone seemed to be doing their own thing to get into a good battle mindset.
Millie crawled up next to Steve, almost in his lap, and wrapped her arms around his muscly body. "Are you mad at me?" She whispered so only he could hear.
"I could never be mad at you, Millie." He rested his head on top of hers. "Are you scared?"
She didn't answer, but the way she squeezed him a little tighter told him everything he needed to know.
~
"Prepare to jump," Bruce said over the speaker, lowering the jet down slightly over built up forest area.
"I can't even see the base." Millie looked out the window, seeing nothing but trees stretched out.
"It's likely underground," Steve slipped on his helmet. "And we're not exactly close to the base either, we don't want to be caught."
"Oh, right." She swallowed hard. Tony was already in full suit, ready to jump out and fly over the trees, whereas Steve and Bucky didn't look suited up for anything of the sort. "Shouldn't we try and fly the plane somewhere without trees? Your parachutes will get tangled."
"We don't use parachutes,"
"Wha-?" Her face screwed up in disbelief.
"Don't need 'em." He added, kissing her temple sweetly.
Millie's eyes traveled to Bucky, who stared out the window with an uneasy expression. He seemed dreadfully nervous, but like he was trying to hide it.
She'd found out about Bucky's story, everything, over the course of her time living with the two super soldiers. How he fell from the train, how Steve wanted to jump after him but didn't because at the time neither of them knew their serum could protect them from falls of great height.
She wondered if her version would protect her if she fell.
"Plus, they'd only slow us down. Right Buck?" He put a hand on his best friends shoulder.
"...Right."
"Jump in ten...nine...eight..."
Steve glanced at Millie as they all lined up at the back of the jet, ready to descend into the sky. He seemed so calm, like he'd done this a million times, which she supposed he had.
"I love you." He said with twinkly eyes.
"And I love you, Stevie. Stay safe."
"Three...two...one!"
Tony was first, jumping and zipping past in his suit, followed immediately by Steve and Bucky who jumped together. Millie couldn't help but notice the bead of sweat that formed on Bucky's temple right before he forced himself to take the leap.
"Alright, let's land this thing." Bruce mumbled, flicking switches and flying off somewhere just south to a clearing in the woods.
"So what now?" Millie asked, sitting in the passenger seat next to Bruce.
"Now, we wait." He fumbled with tuners until static became clear.
"Banner?" Tony's voice came through the speaker.
"I'm here, did you all make it down safe?" Bruce said into the microphone.
"Yeah, we're all okay...Barnes looks a little worse for wear but he will be fine."
"Shut it, Stark."
"Are the SHIELD agents in position?"
"Ready on the signal." Sharon's shrill voice came through and Millie truly felt she would've preferred the sound of the deafening static.
"Everybody prepare to make contact." Steve's deep voice came out soothingly, followed by a chorus of voices acknowledging his words. "Alright, now!"
The comms went silent, only being used when people were talking. It felt agonising, waiting for some sort of update from the team, not being able to do anything besides wait and watch the clock.
Five minutes turned to ten, and ten to twenty. It was no secret, the amount of tension building in the jet. Even Bruce seemed unusually tense, tapping his fingers around the controls, sweating nervously.
Millie couldn't stop biting at her lip, ripping bits of skin off as her anxieties took over. She tried to say the silence was a good thing, that her not hearing from them probably meant there was nothing of concern.
Yet, that familiar feeling rose within her.
And then she heard him.
"It's a trap!" Steve yelled through a staticky mic. "Everybody, abor-"
His words were cut short by the sound of a rather large explosion. "Steve?!" Millie screamed through the comms but didn't get a respond, muffled yelling and an array of violent noises came through the speaker inside.
Her eyes glanced out the window, seeing in the distance some sort of smoke billowing up to the sky– but where was it coming from?
Bruce was raising the net, flicking switches and pulling levers. As the rose up in the sky, trying to get closer to the others to pick them up, Bruce shouted. "Millie, look!"
She ran to the front and saw various figures running around, unable to tell who's side they were on, and right in the middle was a great, fiery mess.
"We didn't hear that explosion through the comms, it was the SHIELD agents jet!"
As Millie was glancing over the wreckage, she noticed Nat's jet flying just lower, picking up anybody with the ability to fly. Tony zipped past holding two agents in hand, as well as Rhodey and Sam.
The other four were still on the ground, along with Steve and Bucky– nowhere to be seen. The pit in Millie's stomach grew and she couldn't shake the anxiety building.
"Steve?" She worried into the comms. "Bucky? One of you, please answer me!"
"They're fine!" Sharon's voice answered. "They're with me, their comms broke. They can hear but can't be heard back!"
"You guys need to get out of there!" Bruce yelled. "We're going to lower the jet to the ground for you to get on. Tony, you got it covered from up there?"
"Yep!" He answered and fired up his repulses. Millie watched the berms of light shoot through the sky to the ground with great accuracy, careful to not hit Millie or Bruce and making sure to fight off any Hydra agents making their way over once they landed.
"We can't find the other agents!" Sharon yelled.
"Just get out of there, Carter! Let the boys go get them!" Tony added, voice straining.
"Wait-" Millie choked out, not exactly loving how willing Tony was to let Steve and Bucky risk their lives, especially in a place like Hydra where Bucky was not only traumatised, but is still an incredibly desirable weapon to them.
"FUCK!" Sharon screamed over the comms, agonising moans of pain following quickly. "I'VE BEEN SHOT!"
"Can you get up and out of the base?" Bruce replied as calmly as possible.
"My legs!" She replied, ignoring his question. "Fuck, there's so much blood..."
Millie stood at the entrance of the quinjet, carefully out of sight so as not to get shot. Her eyes scanned over the grounds, watching people with guns shoot at the bulletproof metal of the quinjet, and Tony's repulsors going off left right and centre.
Sharon's voice was thick with pain, screaming something about there being too many stairs, and that she'd rather be left to die because the pain was too much.
However it was one word she uttered that really caught Millie off guard. One word that sent her into a spiral of flashbacks, so vivid it felt like yesterday.
Hell.
"This is hell!" She shouted and Millie's heart started beating fast, because Sharon was right. This looked like hell. The type of hell that was so eerily similar to one she already witnessed, the same one that caused her to lose everything in the first place.
The explosions, the leg injuries, the nursing...even Hydra. God, it was all the fucking same. That bad feeling was so familiar, because the whole situation was familiar.
And yet despite the fear, the anxiety of not knowing where Steve was, the intrusive thoughts that screamed to Millie 'what if you don't survive this time?!'– she ran.
Her eyes locked on rock formation with big metal doors in the middle, and Millie bolted. That had to be the entrance, and if it wasn't, well, Millie would know real quick– but if she was honest, she'd probably be dead before she could turn around and run back.
Bullets whizzed past and Millie heard an atrocious roar in her comms from the team yelling at her to get back inside, but she kept running. Even though Steve's comms we're broken, and his microphone wasn't working, Millie just knew that wherever he was in there he was screaming at her. Hearing how everyone else was, he would get the gist of what she was doing and likely be fucking pissed.
As Millie reached the door, a bullet stuck into the metal of it right next to her head. It made her heart thumping sporadically but she still forced her way into the doors, hoping and preying that Tony could hold them off and stop them from coming in after her.
She stood at the top of a staircase, metal and old, the kind the creaked when you put weight on it. There, laying at the bottom of the stair case was Sharon Carter, legs all bloody and a dead Hydra Agent next to her.
She hadn't just been shot once, no, she was shot easily five or more times, blood pooling out. Starla advanced technology would be able to take care of her on the jet, stop the bleeding at least until they get her to the hospital. That was just it, though, Millie actually had to get her on the jet in the first place.
She ran down the stairs and stood looking down at Sharon, who despite laying in a pool of her own blood, still stared up at Millie with a sense of disgust.
She bent down and grabbed one of her arms. "Come on, Sharon. We have to go now!"
"Just leave me here!" Sharon argued. "Please, it hurts to move!"
"Sharon, you'll survive this if you just come with me!" Millie wrapped an arm around Sharon's waist and pulled her up. "Can you put any weight on your legs?"
Sharon made an attempt, but a blood curdling scream left her lips as she writhed in pain and attempted to flail her way out of Millie's grip. "Please, Millie! I-I can't!"
Millie though for a second, watching the injuries ooze blood and Sharon's sweaty face tear up.
She couldn't stand Sharon, hated every ounce of her. But she couldn't leave her, it just wasn't in Millie's nature to do that, no matter what she thought of the person.
She thought back to Marco, how he screamed and begged for mercy when Millie dragged him through her own version of hell, the fiery manor in York during the height of World War Two.
Sharon was weak now, surely she couldn't fight Millie off if Millie did exactly what she did to Marco and dragged her through the chaos. But, again, she thought to how much she hated the pain she was causing Marco. Even though she was helping, he was in such agonising and unbearable pain because of her too.
She didn't like Sharon, but she still didn't want to cause anyone any pain. "Yes you can." Millie forced out, lifting Sharon as upright as possible while her legs trailed behind. "You're getting on that jet, Sharon. If it's the last thing I do."
Closing her eyes briefly, Millie put all her energy into taking Sharon's pain away, and she was instantly overwhelmed with the sensation of her legs being ripped apart and torn to shreds.
Black tendrils swirled up her calves, quickly covering her entire body and throbbing like veins under her skin. She'd never tried to take away this much before, and she was shocked at how quickly it came over her.
Sharon's face entered a state of bliss, like an addict who finally got a hit. Strenuous features turned peaceful while Millie struggled up the huge set of metal stairs, forcing one leg after the other despite the tremendous agony that coursed through her body.
"You're such a freak." Sharon mumbled making Millie halt momentarily. Her voice was airy, bubbly even. Millie quickly realised her severe blood loss was likely sending her into a state of delirium.
"Thats not how you should be thanking me." Millie grunted, needing the top of the stairs.
"Look at you!" Sharon giggled like a school girl. "Your eyes, they're all black! And they're dripping..."
Millie looked down in confusion at Sharon, and just as she did she saw a tar-like tear fall from her face and tarnish her grey top.
"What the-?"
"Millie, get your ass on the quinjet!" Stark screamed over comms. "I can't hold them off much longer!"
Millie pushed open the door onto the grounds, more like a battle field, and started running the best she could manage to the jet. "Steve's still in there!" She cried, limping a pathetic run to Bruce.
"We can't wait around, Millie!" Starks voice was growing tired, Millie could tell he was at his wits end. Even with the help from the others, most of this burden was falling onto him and Millie knew that. But she just couldn't accept that they were so willing to leave Steve and Bucky in there with the four agents. If Millie had to, she'd run in and find them herself.
She did her best to keep running through the pain, coughing and spluttering up that same black tar-like substance that fell from her eyes. She managed to dodge every rogue shot and zap that was sent her way.
Bruce came into closer view, and he stared at her in a sort of shock– or perhaps fear, and it wasn't until Millie got up right up close to the grounded quinjet and caught a glimpse of her reflection in the tinted window.
She looked like a monster.
With a huff, Millie hoisted a still giggling Sharon up onto the quinjet, careful not to lose control and send her back into a world of pain.
She climbed up next to her and went to inspect the wounds when Sharon's words stopped her. "So weird...you're soooo weird, Mildred!" Millie looked up with concerned glance. "What kind of mutated freak can do this?"
"You know what, Sharon?" Millie huffed, glaring down at the grasped hands, the only reason Sharon was in a delirious daze of blood loss and not a world of pain.
"What...?"
"You should just be grateful that I am doing this. But you know, I'm not taking away your pain because I care about you, or even particularly like you– I don't. But I'm a nurse, and taking care of people is my duty." Millie swallowed hard and leaned in close. "Now maybe you could stop being so cruel, and look at this act with a sense of appreciation, and hopefully then you'll finally leave Steve and I the fuck alone. He's mine, and always has been. He will never be yours, you venomous little bitch."
Sharon glared up at Millie, and despite everything that was just said and everything that was going on, she managed to muster up an ounce of spite. "Maybe he's not back because he'd rather die in there than come back to you."
Millies face dropped. No anger, no hurt, she went completely blank. Without a shred of remorse, Millie let go of Sharon's hand and watched at the pain washed over her yet again.
Her skin broke out into a sweat and very quickly she started to screech in pain, incoherent words and swears being spluttered out.
The black tendrils that consumed Millie started to disappear, disintegrating from her body like they were never there in the first place. "I'm going to get Steve and Bucky." Millie announced to Bruce.
"What?! Millie, no-"
"They'd do the same for me!" She screamed. "You can't tell me otherwise."
"Just think about this, Millie, please!" Bruce begged, leaving the pilots seat to tend to Sharon who was on the floor of the jet writhing in pain. "You don't know what you're walking into!"
Except she did. Sometimes she felt people forgot just what she went through, or maybe they never forgot but just never processed the severity of it. Because that's how it always went. People can claim they get what you've been through, but they'll never know the suffering that she went through, and definitely not the suffering Bucky went through.
"I can't leave them!"
"Please, just wai-oh my god!" Bruce pointed out. "There!"
Millie looked to the metal doors where Steve and Bucky had burst through, two agents flung over each of their shoulders.
"Rogers, get your ass on that jet!" Tony yelled and slowly their jet started to rise more.
"One of you will have to fly!" Bruce added. "Millie and I have to help Sharon."
Bucky climbed in first, practically throwing the two SHIELD agents on the jet before him. They didn't look badly injured, but the two super soldiers likely carried them and ran because it was faster.
Steve tossed the next agents on, slightly gentler, and Millie ran to him, helping pull him in while Bucky sat in the pilots seat and started to take off.
"Oh, Steve!" Millie cried and wrapped her arms around him. Her head was pounding as it always did after she took someone's pain, and the pressure change from their rapid ascent into the sky was only making it worse.
"Hey, Mills." He cooed with a battle-strained voice. "It's okay, I'm here." He rubbed her back soothingly.
"I thought you-you...fuck, don't scare me like that, Stevie!"
"I'm sorry, Mills. I couldn't leave them."
"Millie, a little help here!" Bruce shouted.
Millie quickly pulled back, wiping her eyes which had traces of black still in her tears. Her head was spinning, from everything that all added up to create what she considered hell 2.0
As she took a step forward, she started to wobble. She'd never felt so immensely dizzy in her life. "I-I don't feel so good."
In a flash, she was stumbling backwards, and then it all slowed. She felt herself fall backward outside the entrance of the jet, slowly dipping out in the clouds and her feet lost contact with the floor.
When she finally came to, she was dangling 50 000 feet above the ground, held up by Steve who gripped onto her arm while he hung from a metal rail in the jet.
Everyone was screaming as the two hung out in the open. An gent took over for Bucky who came running and grabbed onto Steve's suit with his metal arm.
Millie fell, her biggest fear of heights finally came true and she barely even realised it until she was already out in the clouds.
And there was Steve, tears running down his face as he realised he nearly witnessed the death of the love of his life. "I caught you!" He cried as Bucky frantically tried to pull them up and into the jet.
Millie gave him a soft, teary eyed smile despite the fear forcing her heart to beat out of her chest. "You said you always would."
And as Steve was yanked back in the jet, gripping Millie and cradling her in his arms, he realised he nearly made the same mistake twice.
He nearly lost his girl, again, without ever getting to see her wear a white dress.
—
A/N:
I started off writing this chapter feeling incredibly disappointed with the quality, but found my flow and now I'm really liking it.
Thoughts?
Also, uh, this story is nearly over. Like... really REALLY soon and idk why but listening to easy on me by Adele made this chapter so much more painful.
Peace and love, y'all
-Lonah Lennox
P.S: don't forget to add Hitman to your libraries and reading lists! 💜
P.P.S: I'm 100% there's an excessive amount of typos in this chap. I'm sorry. It's 3am. I'm tired.
P.P.P.S: totally forgot I had a chapter in him & I called parallels. Sozzzz