Eli POV.
I like to read the messages I get on social media, every chance I get. They're mainly nice, and the mean ones, are just fucking hilarious. There was this one middle-aged man, who first commented, You'll always be a girl, and then commented, You'll always be a boy. He clearly had no idea how to insult me, so he did both. We laughed about that for weeks, with my friends.
I started to do more interviews and in some of them, I opened up a bit about my mental health problems. Of course, I didn't tell them anything, they could link to me, or anything too personal, but people still somehow found comfort in the things I said.
I cried so much the day, when I realized, I was actually helping someone. This little kid sent me a dm and thanked me for being an openly nonbinary celebrity and how it had helped them come out to their parents, who ended up supporting him. I would never get used to the title, celebrity. I ended up talking with the kid for a while and making sure he was okay, and in a safe place to come out.
Overall, I loved responding to people on social media, and even more, I loved just reading through the things they sent me.
One day, I was browsing through my Instagram DMs, when one name popped up.
My whole body froze and I couldn't even think. I don't know how long I sat there for, just staring at the name, trying to decide what to do.
Eventually, I opened the chat and confirmed, what I already knew.
Sunnyside555 would like to start a chat with you.
"Hey, I go home from boarding school last week, and everyone keeps telling me, that you died in that car accident with your parents. I got pretty scared, and I really freaked out, so please tell me you're still alive, and this isn't somebody else publishing your music.
-Mia"
I hadn't had any contact with Mia in over two years, and now, she was sending me a text wanting me to tell her I was alive.
I stared at the wall for what felt like hours, just thinking about what to do. What if her parents saw the texts and sent her away again. I knew, that the only reason she got back, was, that they thought I was dead. I wasn't going to be the reason she had to go back there, not again.
I didn't know what to do, so I did the first thing, that came to my mind.
I picked up my phone and with lightning fingers, I called the only person, I wanted to ask about this.
"Jess, I'm having a bit of a crisis. Can I come over?" I asked as she picked up.
"Of course, what's going on?" they asked and I could hear the worry in their voice.
"It's hard to explain over the phone, but it's nothing to worry about. I'm coming right now," I said trying to reassure my girlfriend.
I was lucky I didn't hit anyone on the way since my mind was far away from the street of New York. Most of the time that was good, since they were really shitty, but, when you're driving... not so good.
"What happened?" Jess asked as I sat down on her bed.
I quickly explained everything and showed the message I got from Mia, and tried my best to paint the picture, that was forming in my mind.
"She needs to know you're alive," Jess said with worry in her eyes.
"I know, but how do I do that so her parents don't send her away?" I said really desperate for answers.
"Her parents don't know you're Young and Damned, right? So you can just use that user," Jess tried.
"Her parents would kill her if they thought she'd ever listen to something like that," I said falling onto my back on the bed.
"Then why don't you give her your number? I think your brothers have made sure, that it can't be tracked," Jess suggested following me.
"How the fuck did I not think about that?" I laughed covering my face with my hands.
"I know, you're an idiot," Jess teased rolling onto their side.
I pushed a strand of hair behind their ear and kissed her.
"What would I do without you?" I chuckled as I laid my forehead against theirs.
"Probably something dumb," Jess retorted with a grin.
After a while I messaged Mia my phone number and, text me here, hoping it would be easier for her.
We waited with no patience staring at my phone for about five minutes straight, without saying anything, before it buzzed. I quickly grabbed it from Jess' nightstand and opened it.
"Eli?"
"Yeah, I'm alive," I texted back with a sticker of Gloria Gaynor.
"Oh thank God. I'm pretty sure I had a heart attack," Mia texted back.
"By the way, I heard all of your songs even in boarding school. Some of the girls smuggled them in. I heard you were wondering about that," Mia said after a while referring to the song Sorry.
"About that song... I don't really know how to explain it," I texted suddenly really scared.
I pretty much ruined Mia's life. It was because she was with me, that she got sent away. It was because of me, that her life had been shit for the past two years, and then I had to tell her, I had a girlfriend.
"You don't have to explain it. I'm happy for you, and I know how much you went through, so I'm just happy, that you have someone," Mia texted true to her character.
I showed the text to Jess, who was hugging me from behind.
"I like her," they mumbled to my shoulder making me smile.
"Thank you," was all I could say.
It wasn't just for being understanding, but I never got to thank her for everything she did for me during those years. We never got a goodbye, where I could tell her just how much I appreciated her.
"For everything," I added.
I asked Jess if they were okay with me talking to Mia, and they of course assured me, that it was more than okay. In fact, they said, that if I didn't she'd kick my ass.
I talked for a long time with Mia, and she told me all about how her parents thought, that I was some kind of a demon, that corrupted their daughter, which we all laughed about.
We ended up calling a facetime, where Mia met Jess and they got along pretty well. After a while, Jess went to get some food since they saw we needed some time.
I told Mia everything about my brothers, the new house, my career, my friends, Jess, and I caught her up on Diego and Ida, which she was thrilled about.
"I think he'd love to see you if you ever get the chance to go see him. He still lives in the same building, just one floor down," I said remembering, how much Mia loved Diego.
"If I get away from my parents, I definitely will," she said with a sad undertone.
I stayed the night at Jess' since I still had a lot to tell them. I was scared, that she'd be mad at me for not telling them sooner, but she just laid there cuddling me and didn't even say anything until I was done. Even then, she just kissed me and thanked me for telling them.
I told her the PG thirteen version of my parents and what really happened with Mia. I finally told Jess about the conversion therapy and some of what they did to me there. Mark had taught me to use the real names for things. He told me to call it as it was, conversion therapy, abuse, rape. It was hard, but I could see the point of it. I think I was slowly giving myself space to understand and accept, what had actually happened to me, and that way, maybe work through it.
"I'm so sorry you had to go through that," Jess said as they brushed my hair away from my face.
"Me too," I sighed.
"And I'm sorry about what happened with Mia, neither of you deserved that," she continued lifting my chin so that I could meet their eyes.
"It was never your fault, you know," Jess said after a while.
I just sighed in response.
"I know it wasn't, but that thought is just lodged so deep into my thick skull, that I'm not sure if I can yank it out anymore," I said smacking my head.
Jess didn't say anything. they just immediately brought my lips to theirs and spoke a million words with her mouth.
Over the next few days, I talked a lot with Mia. I wanted to make sure she was okay, and by the looks of it, she was doing just fine. I reassured her, that I could help her get started when she inevitably decided to move away from her parents, but she said, that she wasn't ready to do that just yet.
Diego was thrilled, that Mia was back in Chicago, and I gave him her number, so they started texting again. It was good to know Diego had someone closer to him, who he could talk with freely. Ida was more of a grandmother figure, and you wouldn't talk to your grandma about anything, would you?
It was our two-month anniversary with Jess, which sucked just because it was in February. What the fuck can you do in February?
Finally, I had the idea to go to the Met. I still hadn't been there, and Jess was always fangirling over the fashion exhibition since she was an amazing fashion designer. They made pretty much all her own clothes and had three sketchbooks filled with dresses and outfits, they'd someday be able to make. It was so relaxing watching them work, while we just relaxed in bed, pretending to watch a movie or something.
We just ran around hand in hand, breezing past the famous paintings and sculptures, laughing at our own jokes, and only stopped, when something hit us physically, or mentally. Some of the artworks were just too amazing to walk past.
When we got to the dresses, it was amazing. Of course, the clothes were stunning, but the most beautiful thing in that room, was Jess as they gawked at the delicate stitching or techniques, that I would have never understood to look for. I just looked at her, as they circled the dresses, not lifting their eyes for even a second, and I felt a smile growing on my lips before I had the time to do anything about it.
I walked up to my girlfriend, snaked my arms around her waist from behind, and laid my head on their shoulder. Jess smiled and leaned their head on mine, but still kept on adoring the works in front of us.
Right then, I knew one thing for sure.
"I love you," I whispered, barely audibly, but Jess heard me.
In a flash, she had spun around in my arms and was now staring right into my eyes with shock, which soon turned into a smile, that I wish I could see every day of my life.
She latched her hands into my hair and locked our lips. I held then as close to me as I could and I could feel her doing the same thing.
When we finally let go to catch our breaths, she looked me in the eyes and chuckled:
"Yeah, I think I love you too."