"Your dad's a gang leader?!"
Jungkook immediately shushed you. "Keep your voice down. I don't need the whole city knowing."
"But h-how is this even possible?" you questioned him, your brows knitted in perplexity.
"People want drugs, and my dad provides them," he stated. "It's that simple."
"How're you so calm about it though? I—this is—god, Kook," you groaned, lost for words. "It's fucking insane!"
"I grew up with it, that's why. I'd come home from school and see my dad and his pushers weighing cocaine on the coffee table. I'd even help them bag it for some extra spending money," he laughed dryly. "But at least I had a job, right?"
"Why do I have a feeling that wasn't all you did for your father."
"Well, it was until I graduated high school. After that, he told me he wouldn't send me to college unless I worked for him full-time," Jungkook apprised. "He offered me a 'special position' because I was his son."
"What was the position?"
"Underboss," he revealed. "My father wanted me to be his second in command."
"Did you accept his offer?"
Jungkook shook his head. "I couldn't handle that much responsibility, especially if I was gonna go to school. So, he gave me a different job instead—an associate. And after that, I basically became his bitch," he asserted. "Since I have a black belt in Taekwondo, whenever someone crossed my father or didn't pay him the money he was owed, I was the guy who took care of it. But if you know anything about the roles in these types of organizations, then you'd know I was doing the job of an enforcer, not an associate. He just used me for my strength."
You grimaced. "I'm afraid to ask what you meant by 'took care of it'."
"I didn't kill anybody or anything, so don't freak out. I just made them wish they were dead. Hell, I wished I were dead too," he imparted. "Every fucking day in that business was a living nightmare. I'd go home after work and get drunk or high in hopes I wouldn't wake up and have to repeat the same shit over again. I just wanted it to end; I wanted my life to end."
Tears began to well in your eyes, and you rested your cheek on Jungkook's shoulder in an attempt to conceal the heartache; however, he noticed when you failed at containing a sniffle.
"Hey," Jungkook cooed, stroking your hair lovingly. "Why're you crying?"
You sniffled again. "Because you were hurting so much that you didn't want to be alive anymore."
"Everything's okay now," he murmured. "I'm still here."
"But you almost weren't," you lamented.
Jungkook pressed a kiss to your temple, once more repeating, "Everything's okay now."
"P-Promise me?"
"I promise," he solaced. "I escaped that life, and I'm no longer affiliated with my father or The Black Swans."
"How did you manage to leave?"
"It wasn't without a fight, but my dad still believes I'll take over for him one day. That's probably why he didn't send a hitman after me."
"He'd actually kill you?" you gasped. "What kind of sick fuck would do that to their kid?"
"In his world, flesh and blood mean nothing if you defy your leader."
***
The next thirty minutes were spent trying to console you. Jungkook rubbed your back while whispering words of comfort in your ear. It helped a little bit, although you couldn't stop thinking about how he rather have been dead than work for his father.
Even back when you considered Jungkook your enemy, you'd never wish death upon him.
Yes, he could be an insufferable dickhead most of the time, but he didn't deserve the cards he was dealt in life. It wasn't fair.
You couldn't bring yourself to imagine Jungkook in that sort of business. He was a clean-cut guy who liked chocolate donuts on Sunday mornings and who would drop whatever he was doing to help out a friend in need. The latter could've been what got him into that mess in the first place, though.
Since he was always willing to help, Jungkook wouldn't tell his father no. Maybe Jungkook couldn't tell his father no. That man had a lot of power, after all. He could command one of his other enforcers to put Jungkook in his place for disobeying. Jungkook's life was practically in his father's hands.
It pained you to think about Jungkook's formative years being spent bagging drugs for his father to profit off of. There was no doubt in your mind being a part of that was detrimental to his psyche. You understood why he needed to start seeing a therapist in high school.
While he may not agree, despite what he went through, Jungkook turned out to be a wonderful person—a wonderful person who, in a strange twist of events, you now called a friend.
"Do you have any more questions for me?" Jungkook wondered a little later into the night.
"Wait, you're actually letting me ask some?" you giggled.
He nodded. "This is a lot to take in, and I wanna make sure you understand."
You thought about it for a second. "How long has my brother known?"
"He didn't find out until the very end," Jungkook confessed. "Hyung caught me in the middle of getting high one night. I had lines laying out in the open, so there was no use in trying to hide it."
"What happened when he saw that?"
"He...he cried," Jungkook divulged, seeming to get choked up himself. "I felt so fucking guilty for hurting him, but he felt guilty too for not knowing. It wasn't his fault though. I didn't want him to know, and I tried my best to make sure he never would." Jungkook quickly wiped a fallen tear. "I entered a treatment program the next morning and was clean by my twenty-first birthday."
You also had to dab a few tears away. "I'm so sorry, Kook. I had no idea."
"That's good," he acknowledged. "That means I hid it well."
Jungkook was able to keep his addiction a complete secret. He and your brother told each other everything, so it was shocking to hear that Yoongi had been unaware throughout Jungkook's battle.
Yoongi had to have struggled just as much when he learned the truth; nobody wanted to witness their best friend in that state. However, apparently, your brother was good at keeping secrets too. He never showed that something was bothering him.
"I'm proud of you for getting clean," you imparted.
"Rehab was one of the hardest things I've ever done, but it saved me—it saved my college career, it saved my relationships, and it saved my life. I don't think I would've broken free from The Black Swans if I hadn't sought out treatment."
"How did your father react when you went to rehab?"
"He called me weak for getting addicted, and said I should've been more careful," he averred.
"God," you scoffed. "Your dad has to be the shittiest person on Earth."
Jungkook chuckled. "Yeah, he is. But he found it in his pea-sized heart to let me go while I worked on getting better. And when I finally was, he asked me to come back."
"I'm guessing he was pissed you refused."
"Surprisingly, no," he announced. "He figured I'd come to my senses once it's time to take over the business."
"Does he know you have no plan on taking over?"
Jungkook shook his head. "He can hold on to the hope for a little longer."
A wave of silence then washed over the two of you, yet it only lasted a minute or so. "Did you tell Oppa about The Black Swans after all of that happened?"
"I supposedly told him the same night he found out I had a drug problem," Jungkook replied. "I was so high that I don't remember saying anything, but he brought up the organization one day and asked me to explain what I had been rambling about. Hyung didn't even bat an eye when I did."
"Seriously?"
"Yeah," he affirmed, brushing back a piece of hair that had fallen into his eyes. "He said my family has too much money for it to only come from a shipping company. Gangs always have to have a business front to avoid getting caught though."
"Right," you breathed.
Jungkook then gazed at you, a playful smirk adorning his lips. "Anything else you'd like to know, nosy?"
You shoved him in the shoulder. "Don't be a dick."
"I'm just messing with you," he chortled, circling his arm around your waist. "You can ask all the questions you want."
"Well, I do have one more."
"Ask away."
"When and why did you pierce your eyebrow?"
"That's two more," Jungkook quipped.
You shrugged. "Sue me."
"You're so annoying," he teased. "If your nosy-ass must know, I pierced it the night we got into that argument."
"Okay, that answers the when, but not the why."
"What, I can't get a piercing just because?"
"You got it after we fought, so, no."
"Alright, fine," Jungkook conceded with a loud exhale. "Sometimes, when I'm really stressed or depressed, I get the urge to use again. So on that night, I went and got a piercing instead of getting high. It sounds stupid, I know."
You looked at him apologetically. "I don't think it's stupid, Kook. You just...needed to feel something other than sadness for a moment."
"Yeah," he concurred, his voice barely above a whisper. "I did."
You reached out to tuck Jungkook's shaggy, black locks behind his right ear. "Well, you made the right decision. And it looks really good on you too."
The corner of his mouth quirked up. "You like it?"
"A lot," you smiled. "But you gotta have better coping skills in the future."
"I have some," he declared. "They taught us a bunch at the treatment center, like, meditation, exercise, grounding techniques. They only work well for so long, though. Sometimes the urge is so strong you have to find something else to take it away."
"I'm glad it worked, but the next time you feel like you might relapse, will you call me? I'll come over, and we can talk or do whatever will help get your mind off things."
He raised his brows suggestively. "We can do whatever, huh?"
"Jungkook!" you chided.
"What? Exercise does help."
"I was trying to be sincere and you've ruined it."
"If I promise to call you, can we stop being so serious?"
You agreed.
"I promise, Y/N," Jungkook pledged.
Jungkook had now made you two promises—the first one being that he was in a better place mentally, and the second being this. The tightness in your chest lessened as his assurance alleviated some of the worries. Nonetheless, you were still uncertain whether you'd be getting any sleep tonight.
Since the hour was beginning to approach four a.m, you and Jungkook lay down in bed again, so close to one another that not even an inch of space separated you. However, Jungkook wasn't holding you like you had hoped he would. Instead, his hands were resting on his stomach while he stared up at the ceiling. Jungkook must've not been able to fall asleep either.
You started to believe that Jungkook may have regretted joking about having sex as a way to get his mind off of drugs. After all, you both agreed there would be no sex unless it was during a lesson. But could the rule be amended for a situation like that?
No, of course not!
It wasn't the fucking constitution. And besides, Jungkook said all rules would remain as is; a revision wasn't an option. On the other hand, though, he also said he didn't know if the deal was still on. Everything was just up in the air at the moment.
Ugh, why'd shit have to be so complicated?
"Y/N?" Jungkook murmured.
"Hm?"
"You awake?"
"No, I'm sleep talking," you deadpanned.
He let out a breathy laugh. "You're an asshole."
"Takes one to know one."
"Touché," he chuckled, turning his head towards you. "I was gonna ask—y'know, before you got mouthy—if you still wanted me to teach you about sex."
Great, shit was about to get more complicated, wasn't it?
[AN] This part was HEAVY, I know. I still hope you enjoyed it nonetheless.