"What's wrong?" Nik sat up in his chair and pushed the blonde off his lap. Lily sounded like she was crying. "What happened?"
"Doesn't matter," she whispered, her voice a little broken. "Do you want the deal or not?"
"Hell, yes, I want the deal." Why was she crying?
"Call me tomorrow, and we'll set up the details."
Click.
Nik pulled the phone from his ear and looked at the screen, shocked. She hung up on him. No one ever hung up on him.
Why the fuck was she crying?
The blonde tried to crawl back in his lap, and he stood. "Luther!"
Luther emerged from the direction of the pool tables. "Yeah?"
"Find your own way home," he told him. "I need to go take care of something."
Luther nodded and wandered back the way he'd come. Nik waved his waitress over and paid his bill, tipping the girl a fifty. She'd been a good server, actually doing her job instead of flirting. Plus, he knew she had three kids at home she was supporting off her tips. He'd overheard her discussing it with one of the other waitresses last year. Since then, he always tried to tip her well when she was his waitress. She appreciated it, and he got great service.
"We're leaving already?" the blonde asked, her eyes lighting up.
"I'm leaving. You can do whatever you want." With that, he grabbed his keys and walked out of the bar, the blonde forgotten. He couldn't get Lily's voice out of his head. She'd sounded devastated. He was thrilled she'd agreed, but the thought of this making her cry unsettled him.
It only took him about twenty minutes to get to her dorm. He nodded to Jamie, the security officer, as he strolled in. "Jamie, how's it going?"
"Not too bad." The young guard yawned. "I just got here, so I'll let you know in a few hours."
"I'm supposed to meet Lily Holmes, but I forgot what floor she said she's on," he continued, not missing the look Jamie gave him. "She called earlier and left a voicemail."
"Lily called you?" Jamie didn't look like he was buying that. Why was it so hard for people to believe Lily would agree to even talk to him?
Nikoli pulled out his phone, showing Jamie the last call with Lily's name on it. "What room?"
Jamie's eyes narrowed further, and his red hair only served to make his face look redder when he glared at Nik. "She's in room 432, but I swear if you upset her, I won't let you back in this dorm for any reason."
Nikoli was getting tired of the threats.
"Trust me." He forced himself to curb his irritation. "The last thing I want is to hurt her. She's upset, and I just need to check on her." With that, he boarded an elevator and tapped his foot impatiently as he rode up to the fourth floor. When he stepped off the elevator, two freshmen gawked at him, but he ignored them as he started searching room numbers.
Lily's door was dead center of the hall, and as he was about to knock, he heard something. Listening, he realized she was crying, and it made his gut wrench. Not letting himself think about why it bothered him, he knocked. He heard shuffling, and then the door opened. Her face was a puffy red mess. "You don't cry well," was the first thing out of his mouth. She tried to slam the door in his face, but he caught it and pushed his way in, closing the door behind him.
"I said we'd meet tomorrow."
"Milaya, what happened?" he asked softly. "Why are you crying?"
She just looked at him, tears leaking out of her big blue eyes, and it nearly undid him. It was a feeling he'd never experienced, and it left him feeling unsettled, unsure of what to do with it.
He reached out to touch her, and she shrank away from him, her whole body trembling. He could see the fear in her eyes. This was the first time he'd ever really wanted to comfort someone and he couldn't. Her phobia prevented him from even trying to soothe her. Frustration burned inside, both at himself for wanting to comfort her and his inability to do just that.
"If our arrangement is upsetting you this much, Lily, we won't do it." Nikoli couldn't believe the words escaped his lips, but he wouldn't be the cause of this. People were right in that Lily was special, and maybe that was why he was determined to have her, but he would never deliberately do anything to cause her this much pain.
She shook her head. "No...no, this isn't your fault. Adam..."
When he heard her voice break, he wanted to smash Adam's face. What the hell had the little fucker done? "Adam what?"
She shook her head again and hiccupped. "Doesn't matter."
"It matters to me, Milaya." His voice was deceptively calm. When he got his hands on Boy Wonder, he was going to do some damage. "I..." He broke off when someone started pounding on the door. Growling, he swung around and nearly ripped it off its hinges, hoping Adam would be standing there so he could hurt him as badly as Lily was hurting now. Instead, he found the same girl he'd seen Lily with earlier tonight.
She blinked at him, surprised. "Where's Lily?"
"She's not seeing anyone right now." Nikoli tried to shut the door, but she slid around him. When she saw Lily in tears and shaking, she turned on him like a rabid dog. "What the hell did you do?"
"Nikoli didn't do anything," Lily defended him. "What are you doing here, Janet?"
"Adam said you were upset and..." Her eyes widened. "Adam did this? Honey, what happened?"
Lily's gaze shot to Nikoli, and he cursed. Janet did the same.
"Come on, Milaya," Nikoli said. "We're getting out of here for a little while."
"I don't know." Lily backed farther away. "I..."
"I promise, I'll be on my best behavior," he assured her. "You need to get out of here, away from everyone for a little while."
"I don't know, Lily." Janet's gaze swept to him, and his own anger sparked.
"I'm not the one who hurt her." The bite in his own voice shocked him. His babushka would slap the back of his head if she heard him snap at a woman that way.
"Not yet," Janet said hotly. "She's not a one-night stand, and she's not one of your girls who spread their..."
"Enough!" Lily shouted. She'd had it. Everyone needed to shut up. Her head was pounding, and she felt like she'd been dragged over a pit of hot coals. She hurt. Everywhere. She couldn't deal with any of this right now.
"I'm sorry," Janet apologized. "I just..."
"I know, Jan." Lily closed her eyes and let out a long sigh. "You care, and you're concerned, but Nikoli isn't anyone's business but mine. Leave it alone."
Janet's eyes went round, but she nodded. "Do you need to come stay at the House tonight?"
Lily shook her head. She couldn't face anyone until after she calmed down. No way in hell did she want Janet pitying her all night either. "No, I'll be fine. Go home, Janet."
"But..."
"No buts," she said firmly. "I'm going out with Nikoli, anyway, so no need to stay here. I'll be fine."
Nikoli held the door open for Janet. Lily expected to see a self-satisfied smirk on his face when he closed it behind her, but instead, he still looked angry. Lily had been surprised to see Nikoli at her door to begin with but was even more surprised he seemed to be pissed on her behalf. It confused her a bit. She hadn't expected him to rush over here after her phone call.
"Why are you here?" she asked him, more curious than anything.
"I honestly don't know." He grimaced. Lily had the distinct feeling he was as confused by his own actions as she was. Nikoli Kincaid was not a man who checked on women, let alone women he'd just met.
"You didn't need to come over," Lily told him after a minute. "I'm fine."
He snorted. "You are not fine, Milaya. Come on, let's get out of here."
"I just told Janet I was going with you so she'd leave," Lily said. She had no intention of going anywhere with him. "You can leave too."
He studied her, and Lily squirmed under the intense gaze. "Do you really want to stay here by yourself, Lily? As soon as I leave, all those girls are going to start knocking on your door asking questions. Are you up for that?"
He had a point. She'd seen the number of people staring when Janet left and had no doubt they'd be over here as soon as Nikoli departed. Dammit. She just wanted to curl up and cry in peace and quiet.
"Fine," she said. "But no funny business. Deal doesn't start until tomorrow."
He gave her that sly smile she was coming to actually like, despite her better judgement. "Scout's honor."
"You grew up in Russia," she reminded him. "Do they even have Boy Scouts in Russia?"
"No, but I like the American saying. It makes people trust you."
"I trust you about as much as I would a scorpion, Kincaid."
He grinned wider. "Let's go, Lily Bells."
Lily grabbed her keys and followed Nikoli out the door, stopping only to lock it. She stared straight ahead, catching curious faces staring at her out of the corner of her eye. She rubbed her forehead to try to ease the throbbing headache as she walked, knowing she was going to be the talk of the campus after this. So not what she had planned for tonight.
She waved at Jamie, the security guard. He took one look at her and stalked over to them. "What the hell did he do to you?" Then he turned his fury on Nikoli. "I told you if you upset her, you'd be banned from this building..."
"Jamie, wait," Lily interrupted. "Nikoli didn't upset me. He came to check on me."
"But you've been crying." Jamie frowned.
Lily stared at Nikoli's somewhat pained expression and shook her head, frustrated. "Has this been going on all day?" she asked Nikoli.
He nodded. "Yeah, it's a little hard to get near you without someone trying to get in my face about it."
"Adam." Lily sighed. She should have known he'd pull something like this, which only infuriated her more.
"Oh, no, Lily Bells." Nikoli laughed. "It's not just Adam. I don't think you realize how many people care about you. My phone has been blowing up since lunch."
Her eyes widened. People were warning Nikoli away from her? Why? "Jamie, I'm fine. If you want to blame anyone for making me cry, blame Adam. Nikoli is just being a good friend."
Jamie's eyes widened and he stared at her, nonplussed. Lily headed out, Nikoli right behind her, before Jamie could say anything else. She'd had no idea. Maybe that was another reason Nikoli seemed intent on gaining her as a conquest—because everyone told him he couldn't have her. People needed to mind their own business.
Nikoli didn't try to talk as they drove. Lily was grateful for that. She was afraid she'd burst into tears again. She was angry too. What Adam had said to her...that hurt. He'd used her phobia against her, to make her feel pathetic and worthless. He'd said it deliberately. Adam had never been cruel to her before. How could he do that? Why he would do that was the better question.
Lily expected Nikoli to take the next turn, but he continued, driving deeper into the heart of the city. This was not the route to his apartment. She'd been with Mikey when they'd dropped Luther off before, so she knew they were not going there. About twenty minutes later, they pulled into the parking deck of a very expensive apartment high-rise.
"Where are we?" she asked when he opened her door for her.
"My place." He motioned her to follow him to the elevator. She frowned when he inserted a key and then punched the button for the top floor.
"But..."
"Luther and I share an apartment close to campus, Lily, but this place is mine. I'll answer all your questions when we get upstairs, okay?"
The ride up seemed to take forever. Nikoli stared straight ahead, and it made Lily even more nervous than she already was. She shouldn't have come. Why did she let him talk her into this?
When the elevator opened, Nikoli ushered her out into what looked like a foyer or entrance hall. She couldn't see any other apartment doors, so this had to be a penthouse apartment. The floor was black marble and the walls a stark white, with expensive art hanging strategically here and there.
Her mouth went a little dry. She knew he and Luther had money, but she hadn't imagined this. Lily was a gamer and read the gaming magazines. She knew who Nikoli was, but she hadn't mentioned it because he hadn't. She liked her own privacy and therefore respected everyone else's.
The inside of the apartment was huge. It had an open concept look, with the living room flowing into the kitchen and dining room. The furniture was done in earthy shades, with splashes of red to provide a stark contrast to the browns and taupes. It was very masculine.
Her mind kept going back to their earlier conversation at the restaurant. He said she needed a safe word, and her eyes widened at the thoughts of what he did here with other women. She didn't trust him, so why did she let him bring her here? Panic set in, and she glanced back at the door, wondering how fast she could make an escape if need be.
Nikoli kicked off his shoes and walked to the kitchen, where he grabbed two bottles of water out of the fridge before coming back into the main room. He sat on the couch and motioned for Lily to join him.
Lily stayed standing by the door, unsure, and Nikoli waited. He had to let her make the decision to come to him. It had to be her decision. This was the first step toward her learning to trust him. Without trust, they'd get nowhere fast. The different emotions that ran through her eyes fascinated him. There was fear, hesitation, and curiosity. He was betting on curiosity being the driving factor here.
She'd been quiet on the ride over, and he'd respected that. Whatever Adam had done earlier really messed her up. She was still shaking slightly. Nikoli let out a small sigh of relief when she hesitantly sat on the opposite end of the couch as far away from him as she could get. He didn't let it bother him. Trust would be learned, and he would learn a little bit of patience in return.
He tossed her a bottle of water. She twisted the cap off and took a sip, her tongue darting out to lick the drops from her lips. His nostrils flared at the sight, but he tamped down his own desire. He had to be careful not to scare her.
"You said you'd explain when we got here?" She looked everywhere but at him.
"This is my escape," he told her. "It's where I come to get away from everyone, where I come to...to share certain experiences with women who enjoy the same things I do."
Her gaze flew up to his face, and he bit back a smile at the anger there. He knew what she was thinking. She had nothing to fear from him.
"Lily Bells, don't overreact." He kept his voice soothing. "I told you I had certain tendencies, but none of them involve pain. I have never caused a woman physical pain, and I never will."
"You just break their hearts." Her voice was full of her own anger at his behavior. He was relieved. He'd take anger over hurt any day.
"I thought we agreed to disagree," he said mildly. "Now, Lily Bells, what happened tonight? You were fine when I left you."
She pulled her knees up against her chest and wrapped her arms around them. Her eyes took on a haunted look that made him want to hit something. "Adam came over to check..."
"To check what?" he prompted when she didn't go on.
"You were right," she said, her voice small and anguished. "He was jealous. He came over to check to see if you and I had...if we..."
"Had sex?" he offered. He saw how hard this was for her talk about. He needed to know what happened tonight, but more than that, he needed to know why she was afraid of anyone touching her.
She nodded. "I told him it wasn't any of his business, and he got angry."
"Did he hurt you?" Every muscle coiled at the thought of anyone touching her in anger.
"Not like you mean," she whispered. "Adam would never hit me, but he did hurt me." A tear slipped down her cheek, and as much as he wanted to reach over and wipe it away, he kept his hands tightly clenched. "He...he...Adam knows how hard it is for me to..." She closed her eyes briefly, and Nikoli felt his anger burn hotter. He knew what Adam had done. He'd done it deliberately out of anger.
"He used your fear to make you feel inadequate?" She nodded, and his anger deepened. Adam was supposed to be her friend. No matter how jealous the dickhead was, he should never have hurt her like that. "I'm sorry."
She gave a humorless laugh. "He's right, though. I've let it turn me into someone who isn't capable of intimacy. I can't give him what Sue can."
This gave him the opening he needed to get to the heart of what he wanted to know.
"I told you I'd help you with that, but I have to understand why you're so afraid. Did someone hurt you, Lily?"
"I wasn't abused, molested, or raped as a kid, if that's what you're thinking." Her fingers twisted the end of the throw cushion she'd picked up. "It's all in my head, according to every therapist and psychologist I've ever been to."
Nikoli had expected a story of violence, given how she'd reacted when he'd grabbed her at lunch, so he was very surprised to hear that. "So, it just kind of developed on its own?"
"Do we have to talk about it right now?" Her voice was strained as her gaze fell away from his, but he'd caught the glimmer of shame in them.
"Yes, we have to talk about it right now," he said, his voice firm. "I need to understand this if I am going to help you."
Another hollow laugh erupted from her. "It's not about helping me, and you know it. It's about trying to get me naked."
"That's true." He cracked a grin, despite the seriousness of the situation. "I won't lie about it, but I do want to help you, Lily. I don't know exactly why, but I do. And I can help you, more than anyone else, but you have to help me understand why you can't bear for someone to touch you."
She remained quiet for a long time, but Nikoli patiently waited. He couldn't push her, not right now. He would eventually, but for now, she needed to do this, to trust him. It was hard for her. Her face said as much, but when she nodded, he relaxed.
"You know my dad died when I was twelve," she began. "I started to act out after that. Gave my mom some serious trouble. I skipped school, started hanging out with the wrong people, and over the next three years, you name it, I did it."
"A little bit of a troublemaker, were you?" Nikoli teased, trying to ease some of her somberness. He found it hard to imagine the woman sitting here now as a hellion, though. She seemed too innocent.
She nodded, closing her eyes. "I had a hard time dealing with my dad's death. My therapists said it was normal for me to act out."
Nikoli wasn't sure what he would have done if his papa had died when he was as young as Lily had been. It might have screwed him up even worse.
"You were just a kid, Lily Bells. I'm sure it was normal."
She didn't look like she believed him, but he wasn't sure what else he could say.
"My sister, Laney, decided enough was enough. I put my mom through hell with all the drinking and the sneaking out. My sister had tried to talk to me so many times about my behavior, but I couldn't. She didn't understand. She had Mom. Dad was gone, and it felt like there was this hole in my heart that just wouldn't heal. I didn't want to hurt my family, but I wasn't sure how else to handle all the pain. Drinking dulled everything so I could at least breathe a little, you know?"
"I do. I've gotten drunk on more than one occasion for that very reason."
She shot me a disbelieving look.
"Even I have problems, Lily. No one's perfect."
Again, she nodded and continued her story. "It was Friday night, and I snuck out of the house to meet up with my friends. Laney followed me and tried to stop me. She grabbed my arm like you did in the food court. It's why I reacted like I did. It brought back the memory of that night."
"I'm sorry."
"You didn't know, Nikoli."
"What happened when she grabbed you?"
"I pushed her, and when she fell, I went running across the street. There was a park across from us that cut straight through to where I was meeting up with my friends. She got up to follow me."
Lily took a deep, shuddering breath, and tears slid down her cheeks. "Our house was on a curve, one you couldn't see around. The driver never saw her. He wasn't even going very fast, but he drove right over her. She died from massive internal bleeding."
"And you blame yourself." Nikoli hadn't expected that. Losing so many people in such a short amount of time had to be hard to begin with, but blaming herself too? It sucked ass. He at least understood her a bit better now and could build from there.
She nodded. "Wouldn't you?"
He could have lied to her, but that wouldn't have done either of them any good. "Yeah, Lily Bells, I probably would have blamed myself too."
She smiled slightly. "After that, it got harder for me to let anyone touch me. I kept seeing her grab my arm and me pushing her away and then hearing the crunch and the squealing of brakes. I can still see the truck bounce as it rolled over her. Adam tried to help me, he used to pull me into these bear hugs, but I just couldn't. I started to shake, and then I'd start screaming. I couldn't. He gave up after a while. It was an easy diagnosis, but not so easy to cure. It really is all in my head."
"You equate someone touching you with death, specifically a death caused by you." This might be harder than he'd expected, but he wasn't going to let her mental hang-ups deter him. He wanted to help her now more than ever. The pain she'd suffered—still suffered, really—got to him.
"So how can you fix that?" She laughed bitterly.
"With patience," he said, determined. And some help from friends in the psych department. A few owed him favors and might be able to shed some light on her phobia for him.
Lily glanced up, surprised. Patience? He seriously thought he could cure her of her worst phobia with patience? Nikoli Kincaid was truly insane if he thought that.
"Adam tried that for over a year, Nikoli. Why would your attempts be any different?"
He studied her, and Lily looked away. Her emotions were raw, and she didn't want to see the pity in his eyes. It was an emotion she'd gotten used to seeing from people who learned about her secret. She hated it. And seeing it from Nikoli was something that bothered her. Lily didn't think too hard on why it bothered her, though. That would have to wait for when she wasn't hurting so much it felt hard to breathe. That was what talking about that night did to her. It left her an emotional mess.
"Lily, look at me."
"Nikoli, you know why I am the way I am. Can you take me home?" She wasn't up to dealing with this right now.
"Lily."
"What?"
"Look at me."
She let out a sigh of frustration and did what he asked, expecting to see pity on his face, but that was so far from the truth, it took her breath away.
She blushed when his gaze traveled from her head to her toes and back up, landing on her lips and staying there. She felt hot and took a sip of water. His stare caused all sorts of unfamiliar sensations. That devilish smile of his said he knew it too.
Anger hit her then. She'd told him her darkest secret, and all that was on his mind was sex! She felt really stupid. Why did she believe this could work? Nikoli was the worst kind of womanizer, and she knew it.
"This isn't going to work..."
"Lily, Boy Wonder is an asshat and an idiot." Nikoli cut her off. "You needed patience and a firm hand. He couldn't give that to you. It was too hard, and he gave up. I, on the other hand, don't give up, and I love a challenge."
"How are you supposed to help me when all you can think about is getting into my pants?" Lily uncurled herself and rubbed her arms, starting to get a little cold.
"It's because I want into your pants that I can help you," he fired back. "I have methods we can use, things that will help you learn to tolerate my touch, enjoy just thinking about what my hands will do to you."
She swallowed, every muscle in her body tightening at the promise in his voice. Somehow, in that moment, looking into his onyx eyes, she believed him. He might be able to do this for her.
"I'm sorry about your sister," he told her. "I don't know what I'd do if I lost one of my brothers or my father, so I can't begin to imagine what you felt, what you still feel. Hell, all but one of my brothers have graduated and spread out around the country, and I miss them. If I couldn't call one of them or see them..." He closed his eyes, and Lily wasn't sure how to feel. She'd never seen this side of him. He sounded like a decent human being for once. "I am so sorry, Lily."
"Thank you," she said softly.
"I'm a bastard. I know that, but I'm not a heartless bastard."
He slid closer to her. She pushed herself as far into the cushion as she could, but he came closer, until he was sitting only about two inches away from her. Her palms started to sweat.
"I want you to understand one simple fact. I'm going to push you, Milaya, push you well past your breaking point on many levels, but know that I heard you, heard your pain. I won't let my own needs make me forget how much you're hurting. You will always come first with me. You just need to be willing to try."
His dark eyes burned with an intensity that scared Lily. She'd never had anyone look at her like that. His gaze held a promise. All she had to do was accept the chance he was offering, but could she bring herself to do it?
"Will you tell me exactly how you plan on helping me?" She needed specifics.
"We're going to go slowly, Lily. First, you have to be comfortable with me, so you and I are going to spend a lot of time together. You'll be as comfortable with me as you are with Boy Wonder."
"I doubt that." She couldn't repress the giggle that slipped out. She was too nervous. "He doesn't have designs on my virtue."
He smiled, really smiled, and she couldn't help but admire his dimples. Nikoli had a nice smile when he wasn't trying too hard. It was honest. "Once you start to get used to me, we'll move on to something basic."
"Like?"
"Like putting your hand in mine. I won't do anything except let you set your hand in mine. You can snatch it back without fear."
"So, you'll let me touch you instead of touching me?" She'd never tried that before. Adam had always forced her to let him hug her.
"It's all about control, Lily," Nikoli explained. "Everyone has been forcing their touch on you, and I won't do that. I may do a few sneak attacks, but I'm going to let you get used to touching me, become familiar with how my skin feels against yours. Once that happens, then I'll touch you. Trust me, Milaya, you will learn to love the way I touch you."
"What does that mean? Milaya? It's Russian?"
"Yes, it's Russian," he said.
"So?" she prompted. "What does it mean?"
Nikoli didn't want to tell her what it meant. He wasn't even sure himself why he called her "sweetheart" in his native tongue. He'd never in his life called a woman that. It slipped out around Lily, and it unnerved him. Babushka would have a field day with that little nugget of information.
"What it means doesn't matter." He brushed the question aside. "Are you ready for this, Lily? Really ready for it? You have to be sure."
"I...I don't want to live like this anymore, terrified, unable to show anyone how much I care about them. I can't even hug my mom." She twisted her fingers, her anxiety easy to read. "Even if things don't turn out with Adam, I want to be normal again, Nikoli. I want to have what everyone else has—someone who loves them, a family. I need to be able to be touched for that to happen."
Nikoli watched so many emotions run rampant across her face. He couldn't even begin to fathom all the pain this woman had gone through, but here she sat, stronger than most. Yes, she had a hang-up, but she was trying to get past it. She wasn't taking it lying down anymore. To face your fears took more courage than people ever gave you credit for. He'd faced a few demons himself, so he understood. Lily wasn't just special—she was extraordinary.
"Then you'll have it, Lily. I promise."
"What about you, though?" she asked.
"Me?"
Lily grinned, her inner devil shining through, and Nikoli frowned. What was the minx up to?
"Well, you did say you wanted to improve people's perception of you. If you plan on doing this, it means you can't go out and have sex with whoever. If you want people to believe we're dating, then you're going to have to conform to my standards."
So, she had a devil in her after all. Two could play this game. He decided to push her limits just a little. He scooted until his thigh was pressed firmly against hers.
She sucked in her breath.
"As I told you earlier, Lily, I won't need anyone else. I'll have you." Before she had time to respond, he leaned in and softly brushed his lips against hers. It was over and done before she could freak. He stood up and walked over to the row of window overlooking the Boston skyline. He needed to give her a moment and to get his own emotions under control.
Lily's hand shook as she brought her fingers up to touch her lips. She couldn't believe he'd done that! He'd told her he wouldn't touch her this soon, and he'd gone and done it anyway.
"You said..."
"I did say." He turned to face her. "My goal is to help you, Lily, make you comfortable with me, but I also want to touch you, very badly. It's why I'm over here right now. I want to bend you over that couch and fuck you so hard, you'll feel me inside you for a week, but I'm controlling myself."
Lily's mouth formed a silent O. She hadn't expected that. He was honest, if nothing else. "How can I trust you, though, if you can't even keep your word for one day?"
"Lily, I promised we'd take it slow, get you comfortable with me, but part of that includes my sneak attacks. My lips feathered over yours, not even a touch, really. I will do it again and again. Get used to it."
She swallowed. He meant that. He was going to do it again. Her insides tightened, but not in fear. Her hands were shaking, yeah, but there was more than fear there—she felt excitement, anticipation. Why did his touch, even the promise of his touch, do this to her? No one, not even Adam, had ever made her feel like this. Maybe the manwhore really was that good. She laughed, thinking about what Janet would have to say on the matter.
"Something funny?" he asked, his voice low and rough.
Lily looked up, and her laughter died. He looked hard, determined. Not the laughing man of before. He reminded her of the dominant males she secretly loved to read about, and it made her mouth go dry. Dear Lord, what was she getting into? She almost called it off right then and there but forced the words back. If she didn't take a chance, then she'd never know. This man—not the boy from before, but the man in front of her—could give her back her life. Instinct told her this, and she wasn't going to give up the chance for normalcy. Her fear had held her back long enough.
"I was just thinking about what everyone's going to say when the manwhore goes straight. Do you think you can handle the ribbing?"
"Connoisseur of women, Lily, connoisseur of women."
"If that's what gets you through the night," she said, shrugging. "At least you're not hooking on the corner..."
He spewed the water he'd just put into his mouth, and Lily laughed. Oh, God, she was going to have to tell Janet about this one for sure.
"You are going to pay for that one, Milaya," he promised. "I may spank you."
"No, you won't," she said, laughing. "You just told me you don't hurt women."
"I never said it'd hurt, did I?" His eyes glittered with intent, and Lily's own widened.
Her doubts crowded back in, but she pushed them down. Nikoli struck a chord in her, and it scared her, but she refused to be a coward anymore.
"No touching, remember?"
He grinned, a slow, lazy smile that put her on alert. "Oh, but when I do touch you, Milaya..."
Lily took a shaky breath. She needed to get out of here, before he decided to take this any further. She didn't know how much more she could handle tonight. "I think we should probably go back to campus now."
Nikoli chuckled. "Running already. You realize I'm not going to let you escape so easily next time?"
"I'm counting on it."
She needed him to not let her run. Maybe it was what she'd needed all along.
"Come on, Lily Bells, let's get you home."