Outer Banks, Thornton's house
July 7th, 2020
8:01 pm
(trigger warning: mentions of drugs)
We all gathered around the dining table that was et in the middle of the immense room, and as my father brought the dish, filling our nostrils with an amazing spicy scent. Topper still had not returned home and I didn't get the chance to talk to him ever since the incident had happened, so I caught myself being impatient about his arrival. Rafe and my parents had kept talking about stupid and useless things like real estate business and trade which annoyed me so much I hid in the toilets.
As we waited for Topper to come before eating, I grabbed my phone and quickly texted Pope, asking him if he was fine and he soon reassured me, by texting back good news. He also made sure I was home safe since we had separated our ways briskly and as I was about to reassure him back, my mother grabbed my phone and threw it on the sofa that was behind us.
"No phone while eating," she firmly ordered which earned me a scoff from the Cameron boy. "And sit correctly please"
I frowned at first, not understanding why she was so strict all of sudden and for no reason, but as her eyes immediately laid on Rafe, I understood her outburst of severity. I did as she told me to and before Rafe got the chance to make fun of me again, the front door opened and Topper joined us in the dining-room, apologising with his facial features. "I'm so sorry, you shouldn't have waited for me," he said.
"Come on honey, it's nothing," my mother reassured, holding his hand. "We had to"
My father served food to all of us, before sitting back down and clearing his throat before speaking up. "So what were you kids up to today?" he demanded.
My muscles contracted and my heartbeat accelerated at my father's words, kind of hoping he didn't ask so we didn't have to bring up the earlier events or lie, since I didn't know what was best for our parents to learn. My fingers tapped in rhythm on the table's material, as no words managed to come out of my mouth. "Rafe and I went golfing," Topper explained, a smile formed on the corner of his lips.
"And we beat up some Pogue," Rafe added, which was unnecessary.
My parents laughed, looking at each other like what the boy had just said was so funny they couldn't believe it was true as I almost choked on my own saliva. Rafe and Topper chuckled in synch, and if my anger towards them had decreased earlier, in this moment it only grew harder. I felt like getting up and throwing each of them a punch, so hard their teeth would fall out. "How funny," I mocked with an ironic tone.
"Come on darling," my father kept laughing the whole time. "It's the law of the jungle, I bet they asked for it"
"What?" I almost screamed, so loud my mother's eyes widened. "So now beating up people is normalised? as long as they're Pogues it's okay?"
My brother sighed loudly, apparently exasperated, throwing a glance begging for support at Rafe who shoved a big piece of turkey in his mouth. "They literally brought a gun the other night alright?" he voiced. "It's just what we name payback. And don't act like you never beat up anyone"
"And you're just being assholes," I replied, sick of them acting like they were the good guys in the situation. "Both of you," I snapped.
My mother's eyes went wide at my rude words and I felt like she was going to explode when she got up and she pointed at the stairs with her finger. "Tessa, go to your room"
I frowned, not understanding how it could always be my fault, and how blind she was when it came to Topper and Rafe's behaviour. Both of my brother and I kind of knew she protected me more than him and had always taken care of me more, but she had also always been harder with me, since I had everything she thought I wished for, and yet, didn't consider myself as a Kook. "What?" I laughed, not knowing how to react. "You know it's not me you should be grounding, right?"
"I said go to your room, Tessa," my mother ordered and I stared at my dad for his support but he looked away. "Do not argue"
I got up and tears pecked my eyes as I realised if always ended up like this. I threw a rapid glance at Rafe who was surprisingly not smirking or giggling and I got up, disappointment dripping off my facial features.
"Why is it always my fault? Can't you see Topper is being awful to my friends and I, every single day?" I yelled.
"Tessa! Now!" she screamed louder and I walked out the dining-room, upset.
I headed over to my room and slammed the door once I got up, before pacing back and forth in the huge room, trying to calm down. I could hear them talking but their voices were too far for me to understand what they were saying and I was sure I preferred it that way. Hearing them venting about how dirty those Pogues were and how they got inside my head would have made my blood boil more.
I wished I was JJ in this exact moment, because I didn't know how to calm myself down and JJ always knew how to. He never needed us to calm down after a fight or an argument, he found a way to run out of anger on his own, even if it took a few hours, and we just let him. But I didn't know how to manage anger other than beating up who had annoyed me and I couldn't just go back downstairs and slap my mother.
After lasting minutes, or maybe hours, I couldn't tell since I had been walking back and forth all this time, not paying attention to anything else than my feet, I heard noise in the corridor. I first assumed it was Topper going to the bathroom, but as I heard two knocks on my door, I soon understood it wasn't him, because after arguments, he never knocked, just to annoy me. I brought my brows up in a frown and before I got the chance to tell whoever it was to back up, Rafe made his way in my room.
"Hum, hey?" I voiced, sitting on my bed.
"Hey," he responded before closing the door behind him and sitting next to me.
We stayed quiet a few instants, since I never really knew how to act with him, and I had no idea what he was doing in my room and not in his or in Topper's one if he had really decided to stay at our place. He rubbed the back of his head with his left hand and as my eyes locked in his, he felt the need to break the silence. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry you're in the middle of all this," he said and I laughed at how fake it sounded.
"Rafe you don't mean this," I laughed more, which caused him to stifle a giggle as well. "Where did Rafe Cameron go?"
Once the laugh subsided, he shook his head like somehow he wanted me to know he meant his previous words."You know, since you came home, every time I went to your house, your parents blamed it all on you," he said.
I thought of his very first words and realised how stupid they were. I wasn't in the middle of all this, and this was exactly what had gotten me in trouble all my life, or at least every time I was in the Outer Banks. "I'm not in the middle of this war Rafe," I explained softly. "I'm in the Pogues side"
"No you're not!" he said louder like it could change my opinion. "You belong here with all of us"
I shook my head and bit my lower lip as his eyes laid on me and my heartbeat fastened, not sure why. His words disgusted me, everything about him looked dirty, but as he looked at me with his bright eyes and his lips formed a small smirk, I found myself wishing they were all over me. "I belong with who treats me right and doesn't hurt who I love," I stated firmly. "So no, I don't belong with you"
"I would treat you right if only you gave me the chance to," he told me, laughing.
"Not even in your wildest dreams, Cameron," I breathed as he got closer from me and I laughed harder. "Everyone knows you're the bad guy"
He chuckled more, placing his hands on my hips to tickle me, which caused me to lay flat on the bed and fight against his fingers. He got more on top of me, making sure not to squeeze me with his weight and his fingers travelled under my shirt, his rings burning my skin because of how cold they were. The torture felt good, and as groans escaped my throat, he stopped what he was doing but kept his hands on me. His eyes were glued in mine, and we stayed quiet for a little, just looking at each other.
He brought his face closer from mine, and as I felt like this was going to get deeper and take a turn we both would never be able to forget, I pushed his face away with all the strength I had. He laughed and groaned, frustrated. "You were not going to kiss me, were you?" I asked.
"Who knows?" he answered, getting up from my bed, a smile drawn over his lips letting me know he wasn't upset.
I got up too, and walked over to my desk where was rested his black jacket he never wore those days, because of the heat, and it had me wondering why he even carried it with him. Rafe started checking himself out in the huge mirror of the bathroom adjacent to my bedroom, and as my hands laid on his jacket, I understood why he carried it with him. I looked at him making sure he didn't see me, and I grabbed two plastic bags filled with cocaine. I felt my breathing accelerating and I put one back in his pocket before hiding one in my drawer, under my underwear.
I walked to Rafe like nothing had happened, and I gave him back his jacket, before opening the door so he understood it was the moment to leave. He smiled warmly at me and kissed the top of my head before leaving without a word. I locked my door and stepped over to my drawer, before grabbing the bag and forming a line like Rafe had, the other night. I didn't really know how much powder I could take and inhale, but as I sniffed it all, pleasure filled my body, and I was sure I had found happiness.