Today is my birthday. I should be excited right now but I'm nervous to visit my sister's grave. Right now me and kade are in the car driving to the cemetery where my sister is buried. We woke up earlier than usual so that i could spend as much time with my sister as i wanted. We told everyone that we wouldn't be home when they woke up and I told Ella to go to Lily's room if she woke up before everyone.
"How do you feel?" Kade asks, putting his hand on my thigh, but I push it off. I can't deal with him flirting today, i don't want to deal with my mixed feelings for kade right now.
"Fine" I say keeping it short.
"Hey you know you can talk to me about anything, and I know you're still upset with me but I will always be here for you" he grabs my hand when talking, not letting it go.
I just nod and turn to look out the window for the rest of the drive. We pulled into the cemetery parking lot shortly after we stopped talking. I got out of the car fast and headed towards the back where she was buried. There was still dew in the air due to how early it was. I walked through it fast, not stopping my pace till I reach her grave. Angala smith loving daughter and sister. That didn't sum up how amazing she was at all, she could light up a room by just smiling. I drop down next to her grave and place my hand on the stone. Kade stops far away from me, probably giving me space to talk. "Hey sis" I say quietly before holding a hand over my mouth to avoid a sob from coming out.
"I met a man, it was a rocky start and has been rocky recently, but we have a daughter." i laugh "she reminds me of you actually. I miss you everyday and I wish you were here with me today to tell me what I should do right now. The man I met broke my trust and I don't know if I can get past that but I love him so much it hurts and I don't know if that's a good or bad thing.'' I wiped the tears falling from my eye before continuing "he makes me so happy and he's great with Ella out daughter. I hate that you're not here to watch her grow and I wish I got to see you with kids of your own." I cover my mouth with my hand to hold back a sob.
I don't say anything else for a while and just sob next to her grave. This was a lot harder than I thought it would be. This sounds cruel but I have tried to not think about her too much because of how much it hurts my heart. I hear Kades phone ring since I left mine in the car, I turn and see him answer it. Whatever they're talking about is hushed.
"I'm so sorry that I got you killed. People tell me that it's not my fault but deep down i know it is-'' i was about to say more but i got cut off by kade hosting me up from the ground and pulling me towards the car.
"Hey! What the fuck are you doing?" I question while trying to pull my arm away.
Kade valiantly turns towards me and basically shouts "There was an explosion at the house, the police just called me. Ellas has been kidnapped or killed; they couldn't find anyone else either." by the police he means the captain that he pays off. He then turns and we both are running towards the car. I have tears falling down my face that I don't bother to wipe off as I get into our car and slam the door shut, kade closely following behind my actions.
Kade sped out of the parking lot and onto the freeway. In his car the acceleration time is almost zero so we are way over 90 in no time. "Did the police tell you anything else?"
"Not just that we should get there as fast as we can." kades knuckles are turning white with the force of his grip on the steering wheel.
We don't say anything else the entire car ride but the ride that oragnilay took 15 minutes took 5. We pulled into the driveway. There are fire trucks and police officers all around the house, any other time I might be worried about this my law enforcers at our house but i know that they are all on kades payroll. Even before the cars stopped i'm out of it and ran to the start of the ruble that was our house. I dropped to my knees covering my mouth with my hand and crying. I hear footsteps coming up on me fast and dropping right by me. Warm ares engulf me before I hear the soothing voice of kade.
"It's gonna be ok baby, we are going to find her and get Ella back right away" he rubs his hand up and down my arm and back as he speaks.
"I'm so tired or crying, i haven't stopped crying all day" i say fisting his shirt and burying my face in kades chest. Kade just holds me as I cry into his chest.
This can't be happening, I can't deal with losing Ella. Maybe she's buried under the rubble waiting for us to find her, she could be getting hurt under the rubble, I have to find her. I push him away and start to walk into the rubble. I move little stones out of my way as I walk forward with my eyes frantically searching for my baby.
"Ma'am it's not safe to go in there, it's unstable ground." someone shouts at me but i pay no mind to them and keep searching for Ella, i have to find her.
"Valintina come back here now before I have to drag your ass out of there." kade shouts at me, i'm sure he thinks i'm crazy right now.
"No she has to be here, i can't lose her too, ellas here i know it" i shout moving more big rocks and pushing my way to the middle of the rubble tears continue to fall down my face, the pain is never ending.
"Hey stop, nobody touches her but me" Kade yells at what I'm assuming is one of the workers trying to get to me.
I hear crunching behind me but I try to move around more. "Ella!!" I yell out tears falling down my face and clouding my vision. I try to continue on my path but am picked up by who I can only assume is kade.
"Why do you have to be so stuped that you put you life in danger like this, i have my men working on finding her because I know for a fact that ella was kidnapped!" kade al but yells as he walks me out of the rubble on his shoulder.
"Let me down, I have to find Ella" I say , slamming my fist into his shoulders.
"No, you're putting yourself and our unborn child at risk.
I continue to hit his back trying to get him to put me down but it's no use. He doesn't put me down until we are no longer in the rubble that used to be our home, and even then he keeps his hands on my shoulders to make sure I don't run back to the rubble.
"Ella is not there, ivan has her, ivan also has jacob, lilly, and rose. I have men working on getting their whereabouts known but you putting yourself at risk right now is not an option if you want to get our daughter." kade says in a firm tone.
"MY daughter, she's mine. I raised her. We are in this position because you forced us to come back here when it's dangerous." I say yelling in his face but I realize what I say right after and I cover my mouth with my hands.
"She is mine just as much as she is yours. We both know that you could have ended up staying there is you wanted too but we both know that you want to be here, i know your acting out of anger and fear which is why i won't take your words to heart but if you ever insinuate that ella is not my daughter again i will not hesitate to teach you a lesson and reden your ass." kade says deadly calm which makes me sober up real quick and realize what i actually just said to him.
I turn my head away from him in shame and look at the ground. I can't look at him now, what I said was unforgivable. Ella is his daughter and he loves her just as much as I do, maybe even more.
"Go wait in the car we are driving to a safe house" kade says releasing his hold on me. All I can do is nod and wait in the car.
I see him talking to his men and barking orders at them. I hang my head between my knees with my arm wrapped around my knees and I cry. I'm so tired of crying all the time.
Kade gets in the car, slams the door and speeds off and out of the city. He doesn't say anything but I can feel the anger fuming off of him. I try to cry silently so I don't make him anymore angry than he already is.
I cant hold it in anymore "i'm so sorry, you didn't deserve what i said to you, you are the best father to ella and i know that you love her with all your heart. I'm just an emotional wreck and I know that's not an excuse but I want you to know that I didn't mean a thing I said out there." I say finishing with a deep breath. I also uncurl myself from my ball and sit like a normal person.
"I know darling, I'm not angry at you, I'm angry at our circumstances. I want you to focus on calming down and not stressing out your body because that's going to stress out our baby, maybe you should go to sleep. It's gonna be a long drive before you get there." kade says in a calm and soothing voice with a hand now on my thigh.
"Ok" I say with a nod before lowering my seat and turning to kade while closing my eyes. "I love you, until my last breath." I say while taking a deep breath.
"And i'll love you well into the grave."
☽
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Hahaha kisses💋, I hope you missed me and enjoyed this chapter