The way he talks, the way he speaks, and the words coming out of his mouth reminded me of how I fell in love with just a slap. I couldn't help but think of how stupid I was before. But the more he moves, the more he shows gestures, and the more I look closer to him, the more memories hop into my mind that I don't really want to think about anymore.
And as the wind blew me away, it took me back to the past. Where everything started. Where I ended up hating the word 'love' and thought it never existed. The story of my bitterness.
That time, it was just another night I heard my stepparents fighting against each other. Dad tried his best to be calm as he asked mom about her day. But she was stressed and tired that she ended up yelling. Though I know she didn't mean it. So, they ended up screaming at each other, which left Kobie and me covering our ears in front of the dinner table.
I was in ninth grade on that day. I was clueless and reckless about love. I did not know what it was like. All I knew was that up to that year, Charlie had her own boyfriend. And I never thought of getting my own, but little did I know that there was something about to happen to my life.
We both secretly walked up the stairs and took our own paths, and entered our rooms. But even if my door was already shut, there was already a pillow covering my ears, and I was far away from the dinner table, I still heard them cussing and throwing hate words at each other. As if they never married, they never kissed, and like they were enemies since birth.
I wanted to find a way to escape from that situation. I wanted to get off my head all the things I heard from them, especially the cuss words. Because I was a kid trying to be as innocent as I could. I dialed Charlie but she replied saying that she was busy rehearsing for their dance performance at school which I didn't join. I wanted to but the time I signed up for it, they said they were already full.
Britney also told me that she's doing the same thing. It made me feel so bad that I signed up late for it making me unable to join. "Hey, where are you going?" I asked Kobie after seeing him in a jean jacket and a white shirt with the car keys wrapped around his fingers. It was confusing how he was two years younger than me but he was allowed to drive and I wasn't.
"To a party," he said after locking the door of his room and facing the stairs, attempting to slowly walk down the stairs. "Can I come?" I asked.
"No." He whispered.
"Why not?" I asked again.
"You're not invited." He responded.
"Now I am." Huge parties were never my thing and I would rather read tons of books than go to parties but I wanted to do something else that could help me avoid hearing the toxic fight between my mom and dad so I didn't have a choice.
"I didn't invite you."
"Not inviting your older sister is more like disrespect."
"Just no."
"If I can't come then you should not too."
"Why is that?"
"I'm two years older than you."
"And so?"
"I have more power than you."
"Whatever." He rolled his eyes. "Just change. I don't want to have a girl next to me looking like a beggar."
"What did you call me?"
"Just change!"
"You're not the boss of me!" I crossed my arms and leaned on my door.
"Then don't come if you don't want to change."
"Have you ever looked like a beggar just by wearing a nightgown at a party? It's aesthetic, to be honest."
"People at the party are wearing crop tops and jeans so better change up."
"I've never been this annoyed by a person." I rolled my eyes again and then shut the door as I immediately changed to ripped jeans and a green cropped top designed with several leaves.
When I came out, I caught him already walking down the stairs so I followed him with small steps so that I could avoid mom and dad's eyes on me.
I thought that night would be a normal stupid party night with drinks and drugs and people gossiping to each other. But I never thought it was the night that would change my life forever. It ruined me, it ruined everything. And it made me wish that I never came, that I wasn't as weird as I was begging my younger brother to take me there.
He opened the door of the car for me and I got in as I shut it. The car roared to life and I haven't fixed my seatbelt but I didn't care about it.
I was taken back to the current time when I heard Arthur calling my name. Like how he did many times before. "Miss Shane! Are you listening?" I still remember how his first question glistened when he asked me. But I want to forget it.
"Umm, ah... umm, yeah, yeah, yeah." I gulped and fixed my seat. If there's someone I would let embarrass me, it would never be him. But he just did.
"Okay, well, if that is so, what is the ending of a book called?" As if he knows what the word ending means.
"Epilogue." I always knew the answer.
"Great, at least you still listen." The smirk on his face hasn't vanished since he asked me. I guess he thought I wasn't listening. Though I was seeing memories of the past, I was still trying to pay attention to the topic.
"I've always been ready to listen. But I was never listened to." I know he can sense what I'm talking about.
"Didn't ask you that." He faced the board again and resumed writing on it.
"Just sharing," I've never been this grumpy before.