Chapter 28 ~ Hannah
“I can’t believe today is the day!” Savannah sings as she waltzes around my room, clearly overly excited. I giggle from my bed where I’m seated with my legs crossed as I brush my hair distractedly.
Today is Ed Sheeran’s gig, the one which we have VIP passes for and where we will meet with Harry. I haven’t seen him in a few days, mostly because I went back to classes and he is working hard on the third album.
And because I’m a coward.
Every time he calls me, I come up with a lame excuse. I say I have something to do, for a class or anything else. I’ve even told him I have to practice with Max for another presentation. The one we did before Christmas for his father’s school was a total success, but we are not booked to do another one yet. It’s just that… It’s really easy to be around Harry, and every day it gets easier, but at the same time difficult. I feel things that I don’t normally feel, things I forgot I could feel. I find myself wishing for things I shouldn’t want. He turns my world upside-down, but at the same time he brings order. All of it is so confusing and I can’t take that much so often. That is why I’ve refused to go out with him though he has asked me to.
Harry has helped me enormously, Savannah, Dad and even Sheila have pointed that out. They say I smile more often, that I seem happier and that I’m more sociable. I still miss my mum, every day and it’s still hard, and I know I’m not only doing this for myself, but also for her. I want to show her that I can move on with my life, that I can live it even if she is not here with me. I’m not that weak, I can do it even if it is hard. And it bloody is. Probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Opening up to people is not easy after you’ve shut them out for so long.
“I’m scared I’m gonna say something stupid when we meet Ed,” I confess and Savannah turns around to look at me with a goofy smile.
“I wouldn’t worry about that. You should be worry that I may jump on him and kidnap him. I hope you’ll pay the bail when I’m sent to prison.” I laugh at her and soon she jumps on my bed, next to me. “I swear, if Harry weren’t yours, I would totally kiss him. I can’t believe he did this for us.”
“Harry is not mine!” I protest scandalised but my friend only laughs. “I’m being serious!”
“Sure, whatever you say, but you and I both know he’s crazy about you.” I look away because I can’t actually deny that. Harry has made sure that I know how he feels about me. He has told me a couple of times that it’s not his goal to be only my friend, though that’s all I can offer him.
I don’t understand him. I’m barely friend material and he thinks I could be his girlfriend? Impossible! I know I’m working on going back to the girl I was, but let’s be honest: I’ll never be the same girl. I can mend my broken soul, I can heal, but I’ll never be the same. All this has changed me forever. I can’t be anyone’s girlfriend. Not yet, not even remotely soon.
“Plus, I know you, Hannah. I’ve known you forever and I see the difference in your eyes when you talk about him. And truth be told, there’s a reason why he could reach you like no one else did. I don’t think it’s good for you to keep denying that.”
“But you can’t forget that I’m still working on this. I can’t be thinking of a relationship when I can barely consider him my friend,” I refute and she sighs deeply, knowing I’m speaking the truth. “Let’s forget about this for now and just get ready for the gig. I can’t wait to see Ed live again. It has been so long.”
I look down, remembering the last time I went to Ed Sheeran’s gig, for the iTunes Festival, the same day my mum died. Going to his concert gives me this bittersweet feeling, but I guess it’s important that I go, it will show that I can carry on with my life, living those experiences that will remind me of the moment I lost my mother even if it hurts.
Savannah jumps off of the bed and that wakes the little ginger ball of fur next to my legs. Hope meows and stirs, remembering I’m next to her so she climbs onto my lap and gets comfortable again to keep sleeping. I ruffle her fur with a smile on my lips. Having her makes me so happy and it gives me hope that as I let her be a part of my life, I can do that with people as well.
* * *
After a while, we are finally in the venue, waiting for the gig to start and Harry hasn’t arrived yet. He sent me a text before that said we will show up right before the show starts, just to keep things smoother. I wonder if he is with Ed right now. I’m so nervous because after this gig we will meet him and I don’t want to make a fool of myself.
It’s ten before the show and my phone buzzes in my hand, so I raise it and see Harry’s picture on my screen, one where he is smiling brightly, his dimples showing off as his curls fall loosely over his forehead. Without helping myself, I answer with a smile on my lips.
“I’m on my way!” He exclaims and I think I hear him running. “Where are you? In your seats?”
“Yes, we haven’t move. Can you really make it? This place is crowded,” I reply and I tell myself I’m not disappointed that he may not join us.
“Please, have a little faith,” he says but I realise I hear that not only on my phone. I turn to my right and there he is, with his hoodie up and his curls hidden in a beanie. His smile is wide and adorable as he lowers his phone to put it back in his pocket. “I’m here,” he says this time and I end the call as well.
My heart is beating strongly but I put myself together quickly. “Hi!” Savannah exclaims from behind and Harry looks at her for the first time since he appeared. I look away, breathing deeply just to recover from the effect of his smile and his eyes. “I’m so glad you made it. And thank you again!”
“My pleasure. Ed is about to come. I was with him right now,” he tells us and I nod, though I don’t know if he saw me as I’m not looking at him.
I hear the crowd getting louder when the lights dim and the screens start the countdown. I forget about everything, Harry, Savannah, the rest of the audience and I can only focus on the stage where my idol, my favourite artist will stand. My heart is beating so hard, adrenaline running in my veins and I can’t help myself, I scream along with everyone else when Ed appears on stage.
As he starts playing, I feel someone taking my hand and when I look at it, I see Harry’s hand grabbing mine, our fingers tangled already and instead of pulling back, I let him hold me like that during the whole gig.
When Ed leaves the stage, after an incredible gig that left me with my heart pounding like I’ve just ran a marathon, Savannah jumps on me hugging me so tightly and somehow she grabs Harry and pulls him into a group hug too. Soon, I’m a sandwich.
“That was so amazing! Even better than the last one we saw!” Savannah exclaims and I couldn’t agree more.
“And there’s more to come!” Harry tells us stepping back. “You have your passes, right?” We both nod. “Then follow me.”
We do as he instructs, managing to pass through the crowd that is leaving the venue. He clearly knows his way and with every step, I grow more nervous. Savannah is holding my hand and I’m grateful she is, otherwise I would be crying on the floor.
Harry shows his pass to a guard and tells him something and he nods, finally letting us pass. Then we are following the curly-haired boy through halls and stairs until we finally reach a door that says with big letters Ed Sheeran. He turns to look at us one more time, with a big and content smile before he turns the knob and opens the door.
I don’t know what to expect when we walk in, but certainly it’s not a girl laughing hysterically as Ed tickles her. We stop in our spots as we see how she screams and begs for mercy but the ginger boy doesn’t stop, he keeps torturing the girl until she sees us.
“Harry! Save me, Ed is trying to kill me!” She cries out reaching out to Harry but Ed tickles her again and she jerks in a very weird way, almost like in those Japanese movies.
Harry does nothing to help the girl, he only laughs, no matter what the girl says. But then Ed realises we are there too and stops, giving the brunette girl enough time to run away and hide behind Harry. She is my same height, with brown messy hair, pale skin, brown eyes, chubby cheeks and she is really curvy, dressed in dark colours and very simple clothes.
“You’d think he is nice and everything with that teddy bear look, but he is evil! Evil, I’m telling you!” the girl cries out and Harry laughs again.
“Come on, you’re just dramatizing, Moni,” Harry tells her and I open my eyes, recognising the name and finally putting a face to it. Harry has talked so much about her and his other friends; I never expected I would meet her too.
“That’s what you say! You’re not unhealthily ticklish!” Harry only shakes his head and pokes her side once, but this time she does not only jerk away, but hits Harry and very hard, considering the way he screamed and is rubbing his arm. “For being an idiot!”
“Oi! Why are you hitting me? You didn’t do that to Ed and he was killing you.”
“The perks of being the boyfriend,” Ed replies and Savannah and I gasp when we hear that. Girlfriend? Moni is Ed’s girlfriend?
As if our reactions reminded them of our presence there. Ed, Moni and Harry look at us; I notice Moni and Ed blush. “Uh, guys… These are–”
“Hannah and Savannah!” Moni exclaims excitedly and I step back, not sure how to react to her words.
“Yes,” Harry confirms and I see Ed approaching as Moni leaves his place behind Harry to look at us with big eyes and a ginormous smile. “Girls, well, you already know Ed. This one here” –he points at Moni– “is his girlfriend, Moni. I’ve told you about her, Hannah.”
I nod and try to smile “Nice to meet you,” Savannah and I say. By that moment, Ed is next to Moni passing his arm over her shoulders.
“I’m so excited I’ve finally got to meet you! Harry has talked a lot about you and I’m a huge fan of you,” that is directed to Savannah and I see my friend blushing. “Oh my gods, may I hug you?” She asks and I freeze.
What?
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Dedication to @9nyc4baby because today Sunday is her birthdya, along with @SerenaLillyy and @ LovingLife17. I hope you have a lovely day!
Bel, xx