Clara never told me how much time she needed so I waited, not wanting to be overbearing. I figured she needed a day or two to think and then she'd be ready to talk. What I didn't expect was for it to be five days and not hear from her.
It's strange to think that months ago, seeing her once a week was enough. Now I think about her several times a day wondering what she's up to and if she misses me just like I miss her. I've thought about reaching out many times but then I'd get a bad feeling and change my mind every time.
I spent the whole week thinking about how I handled the situation and if I was in the wrong. I even looked at things from her perspective. She's very close to her family and they're all she has. She doesn't have many friends from moving all her life so I get that it's scary being separated from them. In a life full of change, they're the only ones that remained constant in her life. If I take that away from her, I've taken everything from her. Maybe I was a bit selfish looking into jobs without thinking about her. I was a bit over my head thinking she'd agree to move with me.
But I'm not entirely in the wrong either. I wouldn't mind waiting but several months is a long time to wait and time isn't exactly on my side. I'll miss out on many job opportunities. And what if my field isn't where her parents are moving to? What will I do then? It's unreasonable to have me sacrifice my career so she can be closer to her parents. My phone buzzed with an incoming text and I quickly looked at the screen.
I'm not sure what's happened between the two of you but I thought you'd like to know her birthday is today.
The text was from an unknown number—most likely her dad's because he's the one I've talked to the most. Even he knows something happened. Did Clara tell them? Probably not since he doesn't know what happened but he could tell by his daughter's change in behavior.
It's strange to think that Clara and I have known each other for a while now but never thought to ask for each other's birthday. I just thought it'd come up in conversation one day when it was time. I wouldn't put it past Clara to be one of those people that don't want others to make a fuss over it. The fact that her dad went through the effort to tell me was touching.
22 June. I get that she's upset at me but c'mon...not telling me it's her birthday? Her dad texted me around noon so it wasn't too late to do something. Calling or texting her wasn't enough. I need to see her. I picked up my phone and wrote back.
Thank you Mr. Jones. I have a huge favor to ask of you. Can you call me when you get the chance?
After I sent the text, I quickly made my way to the nearest bakery to buy a cake for her. It's much too late to order a cake so I decided to try my luck and see what I could find. All the popular flavors were long gone but luckily I came across a chocolate raspberry cake. You can't go wrong with chocolate, can you?
Then I went to the grocery store to buy some flowers and balloons for her. Fucking hell, does all of England have their birthday in June?! They ran out of balloons that said Happy Birthday so I was left with a surplus of Congrats, Get Well Soon, and Happy Anniversary. We've not even been together half a year let alone one year but I decided to buy the balloon that said Happy Anniversary just for shits. In the car, I found a Sharpie, crossed out anniversary, and wrote birthday. It was the most shoddy looking balloon ever and I contemplated letting the balloon fly away but decided to keep it as I spent over £2 on the damn thing.
I wasn't sure if the plan would work. If she knows I'll be there, there's no way she'll agree to see me. When her dad called me back, I first checked that they weren't planning anything with their daughter as I didn't want to ruin their plans. They were going to do dinner tonight but actually celebrated the day before as well. They had reserved a table for three at 6 PM and were willing to give it to me. Her parents were going to drop her off so she can claim the table while they went to "go look for parking."
I parked my car several blocks away on a street they wouldn't drive down coming from their house and left the balloon in the passenger seat. No one needs to see that disaster. Clara doesn't like attention at all but since it's her birthday, I figured one day of being spoilt wouldn't hurt. I arrived at the restaurant half an hour early to bring the cake and to explain the situation to the restaurant staff. They were happy to help and stored the cake in the refrigerator. Her dad texted me saying they'd be there in 15 minutes so once it was time, I hid in the hallway leading to the toilets with my bouquet of flowers, keeping an eye on people entering the restaurant.
The bell rang, signaling the restaurant staff that someone walked in and I looked up to see Clara walking up to the hostess. I've not seen her in so long that I was actually taken aback by her beauty. She was more dressed up than usual wearing a dress and she had her hair done and wore more makeup than usual. It was clear that if she was going to celebrate her special day, she was going to make sure she looked and felt good.
Before her arrival, I was confident I could make things work. In my mind, I thought she'd be happy to see me. But seeing how high she held herself without me around made me question what I was doing. I no longer wanted to carry out my plan in fear that she'd make a scene and reject me. It was too late to back out. I already told her parents I'd take the reservation and the restaurant staff is aware of my plan. The hostess led Clara to the table and handed her some menus while she waited for her parents to arrive. The hostess walked towards the back where she knew I was waiting and told me she was here. I thanked her and held the flowers in front of me, making my way towards her table. She was busy studying the menu that she didn't see me approach. It wasn't until I cleared my throat and spoke that she looked up.
"Mind if I join you?" I asked shyly. I'm normally a lot more confident so it must've been strange for her to see me so afraid. The last time we saw each other, we weren't exactly on good terms. She was shocked to see me and looked around for her parents.
"Of course," she replied. "My parents are coming as well. I can ask for a bigger table." She looked around, trying to flag down a waiter but I quickly stopped her.
"They're not coming," I told her. She cocked her head to the side, curious.
"What do you mean? They're parking the car." She looked at the door as if expecting her parents to walk in any moment.
"Earlier today, your dad texted me saying it was your birthday. You didn't tell me it was your birthday." You could hear the hurt in my voice but I continued on anyway. "They were kind enough to give me their dinner reservation so I could celebrate with you." I could see it making sense to her now as she realized it was all a plan and she fell for it. Now that I think about it, maybe her parents convinced her to dress up for the occasion.
"But!" she interjected, taking out her phone as if she wanted to call her parents but then she stopped because her parents were in on it too. "I can't believe it."
It was clear she wasn't expecting this and didn't appreciate being set up. This wasn't the reaction I wanted. Although my intention and her parents' intentions were pure, the last thing I wanted was to make her uncomfortable and put her through a situation she didn't want to be in in the first place.
"We don't—we don't have to eat. We don't need to do anything. If you want, I can call your parents to take you to dinner or I can take you home. I'm sorry. I just thought—never mind." I was upset at myself for thinking this would work. I was being selfish and didn't think about how she would feel and I felt horrible. She was silent, trying to decide what she wanted. After some time, she finally spoke.
"It's okay. Let's just eat." I continued standing there, not sure I heard her correctly. "You can sit, you know." She gestured towards my seat and I pulled the chair out and sat down, hugging the flowers which I should give to her.
"I got you these," I said, handing them to her. She took them from me, looking at the flowers and smiling.
"I love flowers. Thank you. You shouldn't have." She placed the flowers on the empty seat beside her and eyed me cautiously. Her expression was difficult to read. She was putting on a smile but I wondered if that was out of pity.
"I'm sorry. I truly am. I was being selfish and didn't think about how you'd feel," I apologized. It wasn't clear if I was referring to our argument last week or this moment right now. Either way, I'm sorry for both.
"I'm sorry too," she replied. "I was being unreasonable, wasn't I? It's clear that we have a lot to discuss but I don't want to have that conversation right now. Today's my birthday."
"Happy birthday." She smiled to express her thanks and sighed.
"I thought about telling you but I was afraid to based on how we left things. I'm really glad you came though and that you arranged for this to happen. My parents adore you and definitely took notice of your absence. I should've reached out much earlier because I knew you wanted to give me space. So thanks for respecting that. I've had a lot of time to think."
She took a sip of her water. The waiter stopped by asking if we needed more time to order and we said yes. I looked down at the menu not sure what I was going to get. I've never been here before as this is one of the more upscale restaurants in the area for special occasions.
"Have you decided on what to order?" I asked, hoping to get some idea of what to eat. She shook her head.
"I've never been here before but my parents said it has good ratings. Everything sounds good but it's very pricey. I'll pay for my own food."
"It's no big deal, honestly. Today's your birthday!" I fought back. "I'm not gonna make you pay on your birthday."
"There's no use fighting you because I know we'll argue for hours," she said, grinning. She's known me long enough to know how hellbent I can be. I could go on for ages but she'd lose patience with me and I'd rather not have that happen.