Jennie
Mino and Hoony exchanged a jaw dropped look before emphatically agreeing and posing for a few pictures with the quarterback which Jimin happily took. Lisa called Bambam and Daniel in as well and I started to think Hoony may actually pass out if any more football players said his name. They started talking then, joking around and laughing. I realized, then, that the reporters had all but gone and I was standing in an episode of the Twilight Zone. So I decided my office would be a safer place then whatever strangeness was occurring here. I left them there, enjoying their newfound companionship, and made my to my office. I wasn't alone, though. I knew Rosé would follow the moment I felt her eyes follow me out the door of the locker room. So I was not surprised when I made it to the other side of my desk and heard her voice before I could even sit down.
"You're Lisa Manoban's inspiration, now?" She asked, incredulous. I sighed, leaning onto my desk out of sheer exhaustion. "How? What did you do?"
"I... temporarily lost my mind," I confessed because it was time I talk about this and there was no one I trusted to talk about this with more than Rosé. Her brows creased in confusion.
"What do you mean?"
"I had a date with Kim Taehyung. You knew about that. I called you Saturday to say he'd cornered me and we were going out. Well, that night at the cocktail mixer, Lisa called me. She... threw me off. I don't know. She said some things and she got into my head and I couldn't stop thinking about them, about her. Even when I went out with Taehyung, I couldn't focus because of what Lisa had said. I may have... told her that in my frustration. And I think she thinks it means... more."
"Does it?"
I looked up at her.
"I mean, you couldn't focus on the man you were physically on a date with because of some words Lisa Manoban had merely spoken on the phone thousands of miles away," Rosé pointed out and, in that moment, I hated her rationality more than I despised my own fear of failure. "Jennie, is it possible that you... have feelings for Lisa?"
"No," I snapped. "I mean, I can't. I couldn't. I work with her, Rosé. I basically work for her. And I need this job. You know I do."
She paused for a moment, watching me, letting me think. I wished she wouldn't.
"What did she say?" She asked suddenly and I snapped out of my thoughts to look at her.
"What?" I asked.
"What did she say to you on the phone? What was so distracting?"
I felt heat rising to my cheeks at the mere memory. I answered, "Well... it wasn't- I mean, I don't really remember..."
"Liar," she accused but she was smiling. "What did Lisa Manoban say?"
"She may have mentioned that she was thinking of me. And then that she was in the shower..."
She raised a brow.
"You need to get laid," she said blatantly. I chuckled.
"Rosé -" I warned.
"No, I mean it," she started again, this time her tone taking on a lighter, joking note, something she knew I needed. "Whether it's Lisa or Taehyung or some random person in a club, it's time, Jennie. Honestly, I don't know how you've done it. I would be losing my mind. Eight months without sex! Can you regain your virginity? Because I think-"
Someone suddenly cleared their throat and Rosé's eyes widened as she turned slowly to see who stood in the doorway. My cheeks were on fire as we both looked to see Lisa Manoban herself. She had the grace to look embarrassed for me as she cleared her throat again out of discomfort.
"Oh, uh- I can come back later if-" she started.
"No," I blurted, without any idea what I was doing. "That's- it's alright. Come on in. Rosé... was about to leave..."
"I'm going," she responded before I could continue, her own cheeks in competition for biggest blush with mine as she scurried from the room like a rabbit let loose from a trap. I watched her go, giving the back of her head my best glare.
"I'm so sorry," I said once Rosé had left. "I don't know how much of that you heard but-"
"Do you want to know?" Lisa asked, raising a brow. I did. But I also didn't want to hear her repeat anything we had said. I didn't think I could withstand any further mortification.
"No," I answered and she smirked. It was quiet for a moment between us. I felt her eyes on me and felt my own body betraying me, responding to the attention. I had to speak soon, had to interrupt whatever was happening between us. So, without much thought, I finally settled on something to say. "Congratulations!"
"I should be thanking you," she told me with a smile. "Telling me you thought about me while you were away... turns out that's all I need for 400 passing yards."
I looked up at her then, remembering her interview in the locker room, remembering what had followed. Despite my embarrassment, I narrowed my eyes.
"Mino and Hoony," I said.
"Yeah?" she answered, more cautiously this time as if gauging my reaction. "Are you okay with that? They said you had promised them tickets before you left and must have forgotten."
"Tickets, yes. Not six rows off the field and not locker room passes."
"Are you mad?" she asked and she looked genuinely surprised. "I didn't mean to overstep. I was just trying to get to know your friends."
I slammed the binder down that I had forgotten I was holding. "Why?" I snapped. "Why does Ms. I-Don't-Do-Relationships even want to get to know my friends?"
Lisa stared at me for a moment. I felt my chest rising and falling as I clutched the binder in my hands upon my desk for dear life. It was the only thing anchoring my rage. And I needed my rage. Without it, I was afraid of what I might feel.
"Jennie," she spoke my name so softly it threatened to undo me. "I know what I said then, in that article and many others just like it. And I meant it at the time. I made these rules for myself. No personal attachments. No emotional involvement. Because I'd gotten hurt before, in college, and it destroyed my game. I almost didn't make it to the NFL. So I've kept myself distant ever since, never allowing myself to get close enough to anyone to miss them if they left me."
I backed away from her then. It wasn't intentional, just a subconscious response to hearing my own fears reflected in her statements. I had done the same thing, hadn't I? When Kai had broken up with me. I'd pushed everyone away and thrown myself into my career, my friends, my finances, anything to not take that risk again. Lisa noticed that I had backed away. I thought it might discourage her, that she might take offense. But so far, nothing I had done had discouraged her and I was starting to wonder if anything ever could.
"But then I met you," she continued and suddenly I was finding it very hard to breathe. "It wasn't anything I expected. A new girl coming in to take Ji-hoon's place. Someone else I would have to work with. But then you came into that negotiations meeting and you looked so beautiful, so adorably flustered. I couldn't help myself. So I called you out. And you put me in my place. No one has done that to me since I picked up a football. I knew you were different. I knew you were special. And I haven't been able to take my eyes off you since."
"Lisa-" I tried to interrupt but she held up a hand.
"Please, Jennie, just let me get through this," she pleaded and I saw the desperation in her eyes so I nodded wordlessly. She was struggling, this was hard for her, but she was doing it all the same. How could I deny her that?
"I knew it the moment I saw you but I felt it when that reporter said you were going out with him. Screw my rules. I would break every single one of them just for a chance with you. So I told those reporters. Because you wouldn't let me tell you. That I'm ready. That I'm not that person anymore. At least, not for you."
She was finished. She stood watching me, the intensity of her eyes boring into me as if she could see every inch of me, every fear and every flaw etched into my face. She had never been so honest with me, so straightforward. She had always been flirtatious, playing coy games and trying to seduce me. But this wasn't just about sex. She was willing to give me... more.
Suddenly, I felt very hot. My palms were sweating, my breathing was heavier, I felt as if I were having an anxiety attack. "I- I don't know what to say," I told her. "I think- that's- thank you. For telling me that. But it was... a lot to digest and I think I might just need some time to-"
"Of course," she answered, more understanding than she had any right to be. "It's a lot to take in. And there's a lot that comes with me, as you know, but I told you before, Jennie, and I meant it. If you want me, I'm yours for the taking." With that, she turned on her heel and walked out of my office, leaving me with a damaged binder and a choice to make.