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Thirty Four
I scrunched my nose up a little, my eyes shut tight as I snuggled into my pillow. I felt my eyebrows furrow into confusion as I realised how solid it was. Then I felt something smooth away my frown. Then a pair of lips brushed against mine, softly kissing me awake.
My eyes fluttered open to see pure greenness. Those eyes never failed to make my breath hitch, the sleepy emotion of love glazing over his eyes made me smile up at him. My head had been buried in the crook of his neck and as I leaned back so I could see him properly, I felt his hand on my waist tighten. Then he tugged me so my body was flush against his. A soft blush warmed my cheeks as I took in our positions. My leg unconsciously draped across his and his hold on me was protective.
“Morning sleeping beauty,” he whispered with a dimpled smile. His nose brushed against mine and a sudden lightness filled my heart. I raised my hand, tracing his features with my thumb, my mind still not believing he was mine. Then I reached up and pressed my lips to his firmly. Then I felt myself lay flat on my back as Drake held me down as he hovered over me, never once breaking the sweet kiss.
My hands automatically lost themselves in his hair as he kissed me strongly. The way his lips held me captive always had my blood rushing with need. My heart hammered as his hand slipped under my shirt, tracing small patterns on my bare stomach. I didn’t want the kiss to end but I needed oxygen so when he pulled back I was both disappointed and grateful.
My lips felt swollen and I smiled as he rested his forehead against mine. The way he straddled me but kept his weight off warmed my entire body. I looked up, into his dark eyes and I could just imagine how flushed I looked. The way he gazed down at me in satisfaction before trailing soft kisses across my jaw had me sigh in bliss.
“Morning,” I whispered to him, only remembering now to say it. I felt him smile against my neck, making me realise how breathy my voice came out. I seriously needed to calm down. I could die here and it would all be because of his touch.
“You know,” he started, his teeth teasingly biting at my earlobe before kissing at my sensitive spot, effectively making me shiver in desire and then he continued to whisper, “If I could wake up to you like this everyday of my life… I’d be one happy man.”
I couldn’t help the little giggle that escaped my lips. My eyes fluttering open to gaze into his green orbs. They were dark with lust but the love shone brighter, stronger. It made me feel that life may not always be easy but it sure as hell could be beautiful. The way he made me feel special was something I would always cherish. The feeling was one you couldn’t explain with words.
“I’m already a happy girl,” I whispered back, biting down on my lip. He smiled, the dimple showing before he bent down and kissed both my cheeks, the tip of my nose, lightly on my forehead and then gently brushing his lips across my eyelids before pulling back to see the blush that graced my face. His touch was always so sweet but what made it more special was that he wasn’t like this with anyone but me.
He opened his mouth to speak and then-
“Drake! Ro! Mummy said wake up!” I instinctively sat up straight only to bang my forehead against Drakes before lying flat on the bed again. We both groaned before Drake rubbed at the sore spot while I smiled sheepishly. Then the door was banged open by a small body full of energy.
I turned my head since I couldn’t move as Drake was still straddling me. I saw Anna standing with a huge grin on her face as she stared at us before taking in our positions. Her nose scrunched up and her hands automatically covered her eyes and then Drake groaned as he buried his face into my hair.
“Get out Annabelle, we’re coming down!” Drakes muffled voice managed to reach her ears and she quickly tried to exit but then banged her face into the door since she was still covering her eyes. I couldn’t hold back the burst of laughter as she looked back at me with an embarrassed smile.
“Oh sweetie, I’m sorry! Are you okay?” I asked with a small smile whilst trying to budge Drake off me but he just tightened his hold on my waist and refused to stop giving me light kisses on the side of my neck where his sister couldn’t see since the blanket was practically covering my whole body, right up to my face.
“Yes, sorry! Mummy told me to not come in but I just want to play,” she explained, her green eyes staring at me innocently. My heart warmed and I really wanted to slap Drake for not caring that his sister was here. Seriously, I know she’s little and couldn’t really see us under the blanket but still.
“I’ll play with you once I’m down, how does that sound?” I asked and she grinned, nodding her head enthusiastically before shutting the door behind her as she ran out to help her mum with breakfast, I assumed.
“Seriously Drake?” I looked up at him as he gave me a cheeky grin when he pulled back. Those dimples took the whole scolding lecture I had in my head into a scrambled mess. It wasn’t fair for him to still look incredibly sexy straight after waking up. I suddenly felt self conscious, a slight nervousness in the pit of my stomach as I imagined how I looked.
“You’re so beautiful, now come on before Mum starts shouting,” I didn’t even have a chance to blink before he jumped off the bed but not before giving me a peck on the lips. Then he was out of the room, the echo of the main bathroom’s door shutting met my ears and I realised he let me use his bathroom.
I scrambled out of bed and into the bathroom to proceed with the daily morning routine. I was brushing my teeth whilst staring at my reflection in the mirror. My grey eyes looked so bright, the dullness had vanished. I grinned with toothpaste covering my mouth and then I laughed quietly at myself, sending a silent thank you to fate for letting me meet Drake.
After that, I changed into comfy shorts and a dark blue tank top. We ate breakfast together, like a family. They made me feel more than welcomed, I felt like their very own. I missed Tommy though and I was just waiting for the letter to legally allow me to be his guardian. I made sure they’d post it to Nana’s door, I didn’t want to take a chance of my mother finding it, she was unfit to take care of a child.
*
“So, we’re going to meet the guys at the gym for half six. I got it rented out for free,” Drake walked into the room as I helped Annabelle braid her little dolls hair while Cathy was currently watching some game show on TV. We hadn’t moved positions for over an hour and my butt was starting to hurt from sitting on the floor but I didn’t have the heart to break the happy look on Anna’s face.
“How did you manage that?” I asked him as he slumped down on the couch beside Cathy. He looked tired and slightly stressed. After breakfast he left to sort ‘things’ out and just came back only a few minutes ago and it was starting to get dark already. I knew it was dealing with the gang but he still refused to influence me in any way.
“I know a few guys,” he shrugged. He looked distracted, avoiding eye contact with me. It instantly made me frown but I kept quiet. Maybe things just didn’t go well today, not everyday was a good day. Of course I wanted to fix things but right now didn’t seem appropriate with his family here.
Annabelle decided to paint a few minutes later once she got bored and then I just went upstairs to catch up on homework. I wasn’t going to fully fall back on my studies and I was grateful that I remembered to pack my laptop, alongside my books. I decided to do maths and so I spent an hour solving equations.
I was chewing on the back of my pen when the door to Drake’s bedroom opened and in walks the owner himself. Those green eyes slightly dulled as he walked towards his chair and picked up his jacket that was draped across it. The silence felt too heavy for me but it seemed to choke me since I couldn’t utter a syllable.
“Let’s go, we have to pick Tommy on the way,” then he walked out, not even glancing at me. His tone was rough and empty. I felt a spark of anger light up inside me as his footsteps faded, leaving me on my own. There was this aura around him that was pushing me away and so far it was working. I couldn’t speak when he had that face on, that blank yet darkly narrowed look.
“Fuck it,” I growled to myself, closing my laptop and then shoving my arms through my leather jacket. He didn’t want to talk? Then I wasn’t going to push it. Sometimes you just needed things to sort out themselves.
I walked downstairs and out the door and into the car where Cathy, Anna and Drake were waiting. I made sure to check if the door was locked since I had the key that was attached to the keyhole.
The ride was silent and as soon as we stopped at Nana’s, I jumped out to get him. I was knocking repeatedly until the door was open. I saw a loving smile on Nana’s face before she pulled me in for a hug. We made small talk as Tommy put his small, blue jacket on. The little boy looked beyond excited and I felt light to have him near me.
We made it to the gym after what seemed like a suffocating ride. With Drake driving stiffly and the only chatter that was made was between Anna and Tommy, it was just awkward. I think Cathy caught on with the tension but stayed quiet. I appreciated that.
We all jumped out and started to make our way to the entrance of the gym. Tommy and Anna seemed inseparable, always smiling and laughing. Cathy seemed too alone and a part of my heart ached for her. She shouldn’t have to live her whole life on her own. I walked up to her and interlinked my arm with hers and grinned as she gave me a confused look before smiling lovingly.
“Watch me kick Grant’s butt, Cathy,” I said to her as Drake pushed the doors open to the room full of loud noise. All the guys were here and there was table stacked with food. There were so many boxes of pizza and bottles of fizzy drinks. It looked like we were going to have a party what with the flat screen TV on the wall playing music.
“Rosaline Addams, I see you’ve come to your own embarrassment,” Grant’s voice held a teasing note as he pushed past Troy who had pizza hanging out of his mouth. Seriously, these guys were chilling like we were at home.
“Oh shut up Grant, my fists will be talking tonight,” I looked at him confidently, striding toward the table to grab a drink. All the guys greeted me in different ways, I had high-fived, hugged and fist pumped. Tommy and Anna were both with Dean and I couldn’t help but smile like a clown when I saw the soft look on the big, muscly boys face. I loved how he was with kids, just like Drake.
“I’m just warning you Rose, you can back out now. I’d hate to hurt a girl, seriously,” Grant shrugged as I sipped on Pepsi.
“Sorry mate but I’m knocking you down a notch. Don’t think of me as a girl tonight, whatever happens in the ring stays in the ring but when I win, I won’t let a day go by where you forget that,” I winked as he rolled his eyes. Then I walked towards the back to put on the boxing gloves that were waiting for me.
Whilst I was doing a few stretches, I saw Cathy and Dylan talking with smiles on their face. I had yet to meet all the boys’ family but there was no rush, these guys were going to be in my life for a very long time, I’d make sure of that. This was my family now and when I heard Tommy’s continuous laugh, it made a smile slip onto my face.
But as soon as that smile came, it was gone as soon as my eyes landed on Drake. He was sat in the corner of the room, his eyes staring at the boxing ring but not really seeing. I knew all the guys noticed and for some reason, I knew they knew not to bother him. It was frustrating me, not knowing what was wrong.
“Today would be great Rose, you cant prepare to lose,” Grant’s voice echoed in the gym as he got in the ring, bouncing from one foot to the other. His boxing gloves were fully black, whilst mine were red.
“Let’s do this,” I got inside the ring and stood right in front of him. Tristan stood as a referee, going through the rules of not completely killing each other. It was obviously a harmless, play fight but I was still going to knock him out.
“Here we go, 1...2…3,” Tristan’s whistle echoed and I instantly turned into fight mode. There was this anger I had been pushing down but now, it wanted release and unfortunately for Grant, it was going to be taken out on him. I knew everyone was watching, they were all crowded around the ring, their eyes lit with excitement and anticipation.
We both stared each other down for a few seconds, moving in a little circle. Then Grant struck his fist out but I saw it coming so I dodged my face out of the way and sent a side blow to his ribs. He let out a small grunt before sending a punch to my left shoulder making me stumble back a step. That second was enough for him to land another hit but to my stomach.
“No! Come on Rosie!” I heard Tommy’s voice shout from the side.
The pain was there but I hardly felt it. This was something I was used to and the anger was making me forget about everything else. I saw Grant smirk and I knew I was going to finish this in seconds. I didn’t want to make him look like a complete loser and to be fully honest, he was strong. He would be able to knock out most guys, but I had experience and technique.
“Ro, girl power!” Anna’s angelic voice now sounded fierce and it momentarily made me smile. I shouldn’t have gotten distracted since it helped Grant to hit me on the side of the ribs, twice.
Well that hurt.
“I think we should stop this now, I don’t want her getting hurt,” I heard Cathy’s concerned voice, a motherly tone that warmed my heart. She was worried for me like I was her very own but she had no idea what I was capable of.
“Come on Rose! You’ve got this,” Troy shouted and the rest followed with words of encouragement.
That’s right, I’ve got this.
“Sweet dreams,” I smirked at Grant and he raised an eyebrow before I stepped forward and pulled my fist back only to push forward with a heavy force that punched him across the side of his face. It felt like slow motion as his head fell back and his whole body followed, perfectly landing on the ground, unconscious.
The whole room went quiet as I looked down at Grant with a jaw that was starting to turn slightly blue-purple. My knuckles hurt but other than that, I was pretty fine.
“Is he dead?” I heard Tommy break the silence and then everyone started to laugh and cheer. All the boys got into the ring and Tristan poured water all over Grant’s face, shaking him awake. Little groans were coming out of Grant’s mouth so I knew he was going to be fine.
“You’re such a badass,” Dean laughed as I got out of the ring with a shrug. Drake hadn’t moved from the corner but he had been watching. I walked towards Cathy who looked like she was buzzing from excitement.
“Oh my gosh sweetie! You were amazing!” she gushed before pulling me in for a tight hug. I laughed as she let me go before telling me how I was so brave and strong. She then rushed over to check on Grant.
Then Tommy and Annabelle were in front of me, reaching their hands up so I could high-five them. I felt a huge smile slip onto my face as they both looked up at me like I was a celebrity.
“You’re the best sister ever Rosie! I want to be just like you,” Tommy grinned, his cute little face bright and his blue eyes shining with love and awe.
“Me too Ro!” Anna squealed before giggling and running away with Tommy.
I watched as the boys picked them both up before spinning them around in circles until they felt dizzy. I didn’t feel like I needed anything else from life, this was as perfect as it could get. It was the best feeling, that final contentment.
Except now Drake was being… frustrating.
I found myself storming up to Drake in the corner of the room, his posture was stiff and his face was bent low as he stared down at the ground. Whatever was bothering him needed to be dealt with. He couldn’t act like this and push the people who love him away.
“Night, get your ass up off the ground and follow me,” I referred to his second name in anger and his eyes flashed in surprise before turning blank and I didn’t wait to hear his reply. I walked out of the room and down the hallway of the gym. I heard his footsteps a few seconds later and when I knew he was following me, I took a left and opened a random door and walked in.
I came to a sight of a large swimming pool and there was a soft, dim light coming through the window. The moonlight shone through it and reflected from the water. It was a nice sight, somewhat peaceful, that is until Drake banged the door shut behind him making me jump slightly.
I spun around with a sharp glare. He stood there with the same look; his arms were crossed which made his muscles bulge and that effectively made him look more intimidating. A part of me found it sexy to see him looking darkly angry. There was a shadow of fierceness in his eyes that had my heart racing.
“What are we doing here Rose?” he looked me in the eye, his deep voice strained and slightly raised. He looked pissed and irritated.
“So I can ask what the fuck is wrong!” I yelled, all that anger bursting as I stood my ground, not allowing myself to be feared. I couldn’t hold it in anymore, all my patience had been wiped out.
“That’s none of your fucking concern Rose!” he yelled back, his eyes narrowing at me.
“None of my fucking concern?” I shouted, I turned my back towards him and walked closer to the pool, trying to calm myself down but it just wasn’t happening. “So now what upsets you isn’t my problem?”
“Just let it go Rose,” the way he sounded defeated tugged at my heart.
I faced him and realised he had come towards me, so we were stood near the pool together. I sighed softly as his green eyes stared blankly at the water. “I’m sorry Drake but you need to know that we’re in this together.”
“You wont understand,” he said quietly, standing close to me but it just felt that we were too far apart.
“Then help me understand,” I whispered as I held his hand in my own. He looked down at our interlinked hands before placing a soft kiss on my slightly bruised knuckles.
“You were really good back there, you did me proud,” his minty breath fanned across my face as his eyes let me see the honestly behind it. “Though it’s definitely going to bruise Grant’s ego for the rest of his life.”
“Thanks,” I smiled softly; those words meant more than I could express to him. “But don’t change the subject, tell me what’s got you so down.”
He looked down at me, his expression unsure and I suddenly felt this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Something wasn’t right. “I just don’t think us being together is going to be good for you.”
Silence.
Not a single sound.
I pulled back from him, feeling like I’ve been shot. I could only utter a single syllable, “What?”
“I had things to sort out today and a man got shot, a man who worked for me. He’s dead but he has a family, he has a wife he loved, he has a kid whose only three years old and now they’re by themselves. What if that happened to me? I don’t want you feeling the fear of losing me everyday I walk out the door; I don’t want to influence you with the gang. You deserve someone better Rose. You deserve the best, someone who can give you gifts, someone who isn’t just living of every penny.”
My heart started to beat properly once again when he started to speak. For a moment, I thought he just didn’t want to be with me. I thought the day he leaves me came too early, that he realised I wasn’t good enough yet here he was thinking I deserved nothing less than diamonds.
“You’re such a bastard Drake,” I shoved his chest as a single tear trickled down my cheek. That feeling of losing him knocked everything out of me, for a second I felt like I lost the world. “You’re an absolute fucking bastard.”
I kept hitting him until he grabbed my wrists making it useless for me to hurt him like he had hurt me for those few seconds.
“You’re so fucking stupid for thinking that I could get anyone better than you. I want you only okay? Do you fucking get that Drake? I want you because only you make my day better; you’re the only one who brought me back to life, you’re the only guy I will ever love. I want you just the fucking way you are and I don’t want you to change for me. Everyday I worry for you, whether you’re going to the fucking shop to buy milk. I’m not going anywhere and unless you can look me in the eye and tell me to leave from you’re life, I will go,” I took a deep breath as I let it all out of my system.
I forgot everything that existed as his arms suddenly held me flush against him. His grip was tight and firm enough for me feel his heart beat. I closed my eyes and found myself relaxing into his hold. He was still here with me.
“I’m sorry for acting that way. I just didn’t want you to get hurt, I wanted you to know that if you wanted to leave me because of this gang stuff then I would understand,” he said as his arms tightened on me so I didn’t fall.
“And you’d just let me go? You’d be fine with it?” I felt my heart sink.
“I’d let you go because I don’t want you hurt, that doesn’t mean I want to. The last thing I want is to let you leave me, I would never be able to be with someone else. You’ll never understand how much you mean to me, how much you’ve changed me. Fucking hell Rosie, I love you,” he said, those green eyes staring deeply into my grey ones.
“I love you Drake, so you’ll hurt me if you let go,” I whispered.
“I wont let go,” he whispered back as he held me in his arms and then I was falling, falling into the water with Drake’s deep laugh following. I quickly held my breath as we both dived deep into the pool, the water consuming us before we resurfaced. I was gasping in shock with water dripping from my hair and Drake was grinning like a fool with droplets of water trickling down his face.
He didn’t let go.
He was still holding me in his arms and my legs were still wrapped around him. I looked at him with a glare and he just grinned, showing the dimples. I melted from the look and suddenly I started laughing, realising how crazy this was. Then his deep, husky laugh was mixed with mine as we splashed and swam for a little while more, in the dark gym with only the moonlight glistening around us. I could honestly say that my cheeks were hurting from smiling so much.
One minute we’re angry, next minute we were confessing our love and now we’re soaked to the bone in a swimming pool while everyone must be wondering where we are. It was funny and I realised that, there were never perfect moments, it’s just making the moment perfect.
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