three― THE MONSTER AND THE SUPERHERO
―
Samantha was positively sure that she'd never be able to get the screams of Angela, the bitchy girl from Lenora Hills out of her mind for a good amount of time.
When the paramedics arrived they hadn't bothered her. She was glad. With her state at the moment, everyone in the rink knew not to bother her. Even Michael Wheeler had shut up at the sight of Sam eventually sitting down at a booth, body shaking profusely, as her eyes were dark and set on the ground.
"Can you tell me your name?" An EMT asked as a friend held a tissue to Angela's wound.
"Um, Angela," the girl shuddered, now seated safely across from Sam in a different booth.
Personally, Sam believed calling an ambulance was a bit much. Angela was far past being okay, she'd definitely live. Deep down, Sam did feel guilty for doing that to her. She didn't even know Angela. What if she was really a sweet girl?
You saw what she did to 011.
Right. She better not come near her ever again.
Eleven was standing by the booth Sam was at, arms crossed and face red with embarrassment. Sam couldn't help but feel as if El thought that everything was her fault. It tore Sam to shreds. She just wanted to protect her but only ended up hurting her more in the process. That's what everyone ends up doing to El. And now Sam has to carry that weight with everyone else.
People gathered around Angela as she sputtered out words, blood filling the white tissue before the EMT asked even more questions just to ensure that she was coherent.
When Argyle and Jonathan arrived to pick them up, Sam had a feeling that she hadn't made the best impression since arriving to California. She was probably now the new staple for everyone from Indiana.
―
"I know this may be, like, upsetting and shit, but that future prom queen is gonna be fine," Argyle reassured, half-assing his own car through the road, "It's just, like, rubber wheels."
"Plastic," Jonathan corrected.
"Oh."
"Not like hard plastic. Just... just the soft kind."
"Totally. But you ever wonder why the wheels aren't made of wood, man? Or metal? So people don't get hurt when they get shmacked."
"Oh."
"Yeah."
The two best friends' in the front had no effect on Sam to make her feel any better. Partly because the two were high, and it was very irritating to the younger teens in the car, but also 'cause it didn't really matter to Sam how hurt Angela was. She had still done that. 'That' meaning 'shmacked' the shit out of the prom queen.
"It happens more than you think, man," Argyle declared, turning to the passengers to state, "Roller skate attacks."
Sam rolled her eyes, turning her head to gaze at the window, her mind trying to leave whatever just happened. El, covered in a milkshake, Mike, and Will all sat besides her, moping as well.
"Man. Hey, at least it wasn't an ice skate." Jonathan shrugged with a hopeful voice.
Argyle agreed with enthusiasm, "That nose would've been sliced clean off!"
"Awh!" Jonathan exclaimed, as if he was feeling the pain himself.
"It could've been so much worse."
"So much worse... in the grand scheme of things, it's just a little blip."
"That's a funny word, man."
"Blip."
"Blip."
"Blip."
"Blip."
"Blip blip blip."
"Blip blip blip."
The two began blipping into jaunty music, making Sam's ears ache even more than before.
"Blip blip blip blip blip blip blip."
"Blip blip blip blip blip blip blip."
"Blip blip blip bli—"
"Shut up!" Sam demanded, outraged as she whipped her head to glare at them. Everyone in the car except her jumped at the rise of her tone. Jonathan and Argyle had quickly shut up and were quiet for the rest of the car ride.
Opera music only intensified the loud sensations in the poor girl's hearing range. She was confused to why the Byers' home would be blasting this type of sound but as the group all entered the house, she realized a certain visitor had caused this disturbance.
"Well, well! Aren't you lot a sight for sore eyes, huh?" The tall man with curly hair, a bald spot, and glasses announced.
Jonathan waved with a smile, "Hi, Murray."
"You kids like risotto?" He questioned, holding up a spoon full of food.
―
Sam let her fork swim in her food. She didn't want to be rude and refuse to eat but she had just lost her appetite. Or really lost her attitude to do anything positive. El had changed out of her wet dress and instead put on a yellow sweater, letting Sam quietly take out the clips from her messy hair.
Murray was explaining how he ended up in the Byers' residence but Sam could honestly care less.
"I'm a regular little housewife," he noted as he pat his hair playfully, referring to how he cleaned the house and cooked dinner for everyone.
"You should just stay," Joyce grinned from ear to ear.
Murray chuckled, "I'd be tempted, Joyce, except, you know, you have that, uh..."
"Right," Joyce nodded, pointing her fork a him, "That business trip."
Will and El glanced over to her, baffled, "Business trip? What business trip?"
"Oh my gosh! I almost forgot to tell you guys. This thing came up at work... a-and it turns out I have to go to a conference tomorrow. In Alaska."
"Alaska?" Will exclaimed.
Mike followed, "Tomorrow?"
The two, along with Eleven had seemed to be caught off guard by this. Murray played along with a sweet laugh while Jonathan and Argyle were caught up in their own stoned thoughts. Sam, again, just didn't have the energy or time to care.
"That's where they're based, the Britannicas," Joyce informs, "Joan and Brian Britannica."
Argyle interrupted, mindlessly mumbling, "So do Eskimos, like, still live in igloos, or, uh, are they like, fully-blown, like, living in the... in the suburbs now?"
Murray blinked before turning to Joyce, "Who is this?"
Joyce ignored their little exchange, "So, Jonathan, this means you're gonna have to, you know, take charge while I'm gone."
"Wait... what?" Jonathan, absolutely puzzled, said with a mouthful of food, "What's going on?"
"Your mom's going to Alaska." Argyle whispered.
"You're going to Alaska? What's going on in Alaska?"
"The Britannicas are there."
"The Britannicas?"
"Jonathan, what is wrong with you?" Joyce questioned with just as much confusion her son carried, only she wasn't high.
Sam shook her head with disappointment, burying her face within her hands as she continued to block out the conversations being carried. Eleven only slightly nudged her when the family began discussing what happened at the rink with the help of Argyle and Jonathan's amazing display of words to describe the incident.
"—Anyways, she looks like she's gonna be fine," Argyle finished.
Jonathan nodded, "She's totally fine."
"She didn't look fine," Mike commented, playing with his food as he avoided any eye contact.
All eyes flew to him, including Samantha who finally took into account what anyone was saying. She glared at her boyfriend besides her before slamming her fists on the table, clearly aggravated before she stormed off.
"Sam," Joyce called with a gentle tone, "Aren't you gonna finish your— What...?"
Mike hadn't taken a look at his girlfriend once, at least since the whole rink situation. Once Sam exited the dining room, he took a sip of water and wiped off his metaphorical sweat.
Sam eventually found her way through the Byers home. She didn't need a tour since El always happened to go in great detail when she wrote her letters. Plus, the bright pink colored room was obviously Eleven's.
Sam had made herself comfortable there, placing her luggage on the side of the bed before seating herself on the floor. She looked out into the night sky and with a hard, heavy sigh, she collapsed into herself.
Mike's voice echoed in her head.
"What did you do? What did you do?"
Sam sucked a breath in through her nostrils, trying to calm down the passing beats that her heart was giving.
"BITCH-ELA!"
"AHH!"
Papa still needed an answer.
"What have you done? What have you done?"
Sam shut her eyes, a single tear rolling down on her face.
You did what you had to do.
...
I'm proud.
El silently slipped in the room, tipping her head to the side with confusion, "Sam...?"
Sam gasped, quickly standing up and patting herself off as she began to rant, "I'm so sorry, El. I'm so stupid! I-I just wanted to help, an-and I made everything worse! I'm so sorry, please forgive me."
"Sam, shh," El grabbed onto her shoulders, "It's okay."
"No... no it's not, I'm so sorr—"
"I'm sorry, Sam," El finally cut off her dear friend, almost in a harsh way, "I lied. Friends don't lie. Sorry."
Through the midst of it all, Sam had managed to forget that Eleven had misguided her with the idea of her having friends in Lenora Hills. The youngest Harrington swore on her life that if it was anyone else that lied she would've been angry. But this wasn't anyone else, this was El.
She couldn't find a single reason to be upset at her.
"It's alright, El," she mumbled softly, seating herself on the edge of El's bed, before deeply inhaling, "I did something t-terrible... and... I just wanted to help you but now you have to deal with the consequences!"
El's brows furrowed with slight confusion, her teary eyes peered at her regretful best friend that sulked. She then slowly sat down next to her, silently urging her to continue.
Sam's eyes, filled with guilt, fled around the room, almost as if she was searching for the words to say.
"When spring break is over..." she started shakily, "-you go back to school. I don't get to see Angela ever again... you do. So at the end of the day, roller skate or no roller skate, who really wins?"
Eleven slowly nodded at this, her throat bobbing as she thickly gulped. She understood Sam, better then anybody else, but even she could admit to herself that what Sam had done really did only make things a little harder.
"My intention was to defend you, 'cause l-like I-I get bullied too, y'know?" Sam rambled, attempting to hold back her wobbly tone and tears, "A-And everyone else gets bullied, and usually I always screw up! And Mike is right, he's always right, I shouldn't resort to hurting people because I just make things worse!"
At this point she was ranting completely for her own needs. She needed for herself to hear this. And Eleven allowed it.
"I just wish I had something in my mind that would calm me down! It's like growing up in that goddamn l-lab- god, that laboratory screwed me up. Us up. I was always taught to defend others in violent ways, it's all I know but I wish I could just stop!"
She was bawling her eyes out now, heaving out heavy breaths until her weeping head fell on El's shoulder and the girl held her.
Sam sniffled into the yellow sweater before confessing, "I've been having this reoccurring dream... almost worse than the others 'cause it feels real... like a memory although I can't recall it. A-And I-I hurt people..."
El hiccuped with her own cries, hugging her friend closer.
"I feel like... all I'm meant to do is... just t-to, to- I don't know! To destroy!"
Destroy.
That's what happens when they make a human a machine, Samantha.
When are the intentions ever good?
―
Sam laid awake at night thinking about what he had to said to her. He was still unknown to her but he never failed to make himself known, causing the girl to question her whole existence within seconds.
Even after she apologized to Joyce after her vehement speech, and when she said goodnight to Will, and avoided Michael, and shared a room with El. He couldn't get off her mind. Because everything he has ever said to her had reason. And that was a terrifying fact.
The next day she decided to freshen up. She put on Mike's blue and black striped long sleeve polo that she had found in her suitcase. The polo was clearly oversized on her, almost trapping her like a gown if she hadn't rolled it up to rest on her hips, above simple black jeans.
She then clipped the two front pieces of her hair back and... decided to sulk. She got herself ready for nothing because by the end of the morning she felt like shit once again.
She ended up sitting at El's desk alone, peacefully observing her pretty school projects and photos of herself and friends in Hawkins that the girl had kept. A sad smile filled her face at the pictures. Everyone was so happy then.
A soft knock on the door interrupted that train of thought and she mentally cursed in her mind for it being Mike Wheeler finally interacting with her. She knew he was disappointed. She didn't need a lecture.
"Hey, Sam. You in there?" His voice questioned softly and Sam's breath hitched at the feeling of his presence.
He made her nervous.
"I have your breakfast here... I also made El Eggos but they're getting kind of cold."
When Sam hadn't moved to reply again, fearing that she would break the second a word emitted from her, Mike ended up entering the room with two plates in his hands. His face lifted in slight relief at the sight of her. He was glad she was okay, although she was clearly ignoring him 'cause her back faced his front.
"Where's El?"
"Shower." She muttered coldly.
Normally, when her and Mike fought, they would go straight for the head. They would cut to the point. They would yell and scream and say things they didn't mean and mean things they didn't say. But this was different. To Sam, at least. It felt more adult. She felt more broken now.
"That's cool. Hop's cabin, right?" Mike asked, observing what Sam was studying closely. He placed the two plates on the desk next to her, his hand passing by her clothed arm like a ghost. She almost shivered.
Sam nodded before quietly croaking, "Another thing Angela ruined." She then peeled back the cardboard and revealed the torn up pieces. She had no point in saying this, and even she knew that. It wasn't worth it to justify her actions now. It was too late.
Mike fluttered his lashes with dismay before loudly sighing and sitting on the edge of El's bed, right behind his girlfriend.
"So, um, are we just not gonna talk about it?"
Sam responded flatly, "About what?"
"I don't know, just maybe, like about yesterday or... everything." He said uneasily, clearly entering his panicked zone.
Sam shrugged, still not batting an eye at him, "Everything? Consisting of me hitting someone in the face to the point where they bled out? There's nothing to say, Mike."
Mike. His name coming from her mouth made his skin itch. And not in a good way. She only said 'Mike' when she was deeply upset.
"Yeah, I guess, um... I guess I'm just a little confused, I don't know if El told you the reason, but, why would she lie about having friends? Especially being friends with her bully of all people?"
"People lie. You would understand that better than anyone."
Mike's eye twitched with slight agitation. The shot was unneeded and undeserved. He would never bluntly say it but her words had wounded him.
"Y-Yeah, I guess," he thickly swallowed with sorrow hinting in his tone, "I mean, El is new to this life. You've been bullied for years, and I've been bullied my entire life. We have to show her that we can handle these situations without violence, you know... I mean you've seen it. People are horrible to me but it's my job as a good person to not lose my composure... a reaction is what they want."
"So I'm not a good person?"
"I didn't mean it like that, Sam."
"But it's probably true," she quietly uttered, "I do not belong. That's why I handled it differently. That's why I always do."
An almost surprised exhale was heard from behind her, "What makes you say that?"
"Mike, look at me." She demanded, finally turning her head to look at him in the eyes.
Mike scoffed, his heart cracking at the sight of tears pooling in the creases of her brown eyes, "Come on, you can't actually believe that."
"Everyone looked at me like... like I was a monster," she shallowly recalled, almost phasing out completely at the memory.
"Well, honey, they just don't know you... you're not from here."
"You looked at me like I was a monster too," she sharply accused, tear drops already failing to be held back.
His face froze. Almost in a guilty way.
"W-What?"
"Yesterday," Sam stated boldly, rotating her entire body to take him into account, "and all the days before that where I hadn't acted like everybody else. The way you look at me..." her voice cracked and out came a short sob, "The way you talk to me," she emphasized with shock, "Y-You're scared of me."
"No. No." He instantly denied, although hesitantly, "No, that's not... that's... that's just not true. I was surprised. How was I supposed to react to something like that? I'm sorry, I just didn't know what to do. A-And all those times before... I'm not angry... it's just—"
"You're afraid."
"No."
"Yes."
"Okay! I'm sorry, alright?" He burst, hand slamming down onto the bed with defeat, "How you handle shit doesn't matter to me... if that's really what you wanna hear. It doesn't change the way I feel about you. It doesn't change us, Sam. You fit in just fine."
She wordlessly cried for a couple of moments, a bitterness in her mouth from the way he had blown up. They never fight like this.
"Easy for you to say. It's not like you actually pay attention to how I feel," she sniffled, turning her attention back onto the pale desk.
Mike stayed silent, utterly bewildered as his face scrunched up with slight anger, "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
Sam deeply inhaled, sniffling loudly before declaring, "Sometimes I feel like... I'm just there. Like, I'm your girlfriend for you and for your own pleasure because whenever something happens you always brush it off and invalidate the way I feel. You never listen."
"W-What?" He exclaimed, "Where the hell is this coming from?"
"I'm like a trophy to you... and if I could find the words to explain myself better- t-then I would!"
"Wha- You're not making any sense right now."
"See! You don't listen!" She cried with a shriek, glaring back at him in a damaged way.
"I listen." He claimed with confidence that was abnormal to Sam.
She nibbled on her lip harshly before shaking her head, "No, you don't. When I'm upset... you brush it off. You tell me everything's okay, but it's not! I-I mean, I'm not okay and if you actually listened for once maybe you'd realize that."
"How am I supposed to listen if you don't tell me?"
"I can't tell you when you act like this!"
"Like what?"
"LIKE WHAT I JUST SAID!" She raged before taking a long exhale, lowering her volume for the sake of everyone else, "Look, I don't how the hell you are after everything b-but you always fail to realize I'm not okay. And I'm right," she vented with sharpness in her tone, "I don't handle it the way you do. We are different. No matter how hard you try to deny that fact."
"I don't even understand the point of this anymore..." Mike quietly replied, looking down anxiously at his shoes.
"There you go again! Not listening!"
"Then tell me! Goddammit, tell me, why the hell aren't you okay if I'm apparently so oblivious?"
Sam harshly wiped a tear away before leaving the desk and pulling out letters from herself that were received by El.
"Dear El," Sam read with frustration and sobs, "I'm not okay and nobody ever notices it. I'm always holding everyone together because I want them to be happy. All I do is try to protect them, even if Mike can't see that. He gets angry when I try to protect—"
Mike tried to interject, "Sam—"
"The countless nightmares I have to hide. The trauma building with inside me. I must be a good goddamn actor, because nobody has asked me if I'm okay. I have to make sure Lucas doesn't get picked on by the boys, I have to defend Mike and Dustin from assholes, I have to help Steve and Robin with their job," she gasped at herself, stammering effusively, "I have to support Max, although I'm grieving just as much as she is because I SAW SOMEONE DIE IN FRONT OF ME."
Mike's eyes widened, faltering with absolute shock.
"—A-And it's my fault..." she admitted, "It's my fault... All I do is destroy. So I apologize if I'm not normal and can't handle it like a good fucking person."
Mike sighed, his hand coming to his face to wipe his nervous sweat off, "Samantha. I-I don't even know what to say."
"I dream every night. Every night about what I've done or seen- h-how all I am capable of doing is to destroy!" She licked her lips and humorlessly laughed at herself, "That's not even the worst part. Because when I wake up it's not confronted. And nobody cares. But it's still an obvious fact."
"What is?"
"That I'm a monster," Sam announced, throwing her letter down onto the floor, "My dreams just remind me. When I wake up, it's the reality."
"Y-You don't mean that..." Mike stuttered, lip quivering without control.
"I do." She stated lividly, "Every night I dream. The same goddamn dream. Different story, same point. And every morning I wake up to the same... nightmare."
"You don't mean that." The Wheeler boy repeated himself, not wanting his own girlfriend to already hate her life.
"I do."
"Sam, I'm sorry, okay? You can't let all of this tear us down. W-We can stand strong, we can't let this ruin us." He protested, holding back his own tears, "Okay? The bullies, the Mind Flayer, Starcourt, the dreams— they're no match for you. You're a superhero."
Sam stared down at him with vehemence, "No... El's saved the world twice. She's a superhero. I'm nothing more than a monster. All I do is destroy."
The power to destroy the world is almost a better savior then becoming a hero to it. Don't you think?
Sam whimpered, hugging herself before racking with sobs.
Mike blinked, face filled with horror, "S-Sam, stop, c-come here, it's okay."
He stood up, letting himself tower over her as he wrapped his arms carefully around her torso. Unfortunately, she didn't return the embrace.
A monster isn't just evil to be evil, remember that. There's always some sanity.
She bawled even more, burying her head into Mike's flannel. Mike stroked her hair, hushing her gently.
"It's okay."
It's not. See? After all you just said, he still remains the same. He doesn't listen.
Sam pushed herself away from Mike with disgust, "Leave me alone, Mike. I wish I never came here with you!"
She didn't pay any attention to the way Michael Wheeler began to cry, standing in the middle of Eleven's room with disbelief and misery. She ran out of the room, using the polo's long sleeves to dry her tears.
El then exited the bathroom in front of her with concern, "Sam, what happened? Are you okay?"
"No!" She proclaimed sensitively, "I'm not a superhero! I-I'm not!"
She felt like she was going insane, the ringing sensation returning. Her stomach did back flips, internally fearing that Billy would soon appear in front of her again.
El looked at her with pity. Sam brushed aside her into the bathroom and glared at the mirror with the strange unknown presence. She knew it was the voice.
"WHO ARE YOU?" She demanded, crazed.
Mike entered the hallway with El and the two shared a worrisome expression at the girl.
The mirror only stilled as her vision became distorted.
"I-I need to go," she mumbled before running down stairs and completely out of the house.
―
Sam.
"Who are you?"
Silence filled the crisp morning air.
"Damn it, who the hell are you, just tell me... I look like a crazy person, talking to myself."
Samantha hugged herself as she walked alone down the sidewalk, her tears dried on her face now as she avoided the skeptic glares from dog walkers and joggers. She hadn't bothered to worry if the others were looking for her. They'd be safer without her presence anyways. It's one thing to be an annoyance but to be a dangerous one—clearly worse.
Oh, Sam. You know who I am.
"No, no, I really don't. All I know is that you wont shut up."
I've been with you for awhile now, Samantha... waiting. My intentions are hopeful, I only want to help.
"You're just a painful reminder, you're no help."
Reminder of what? Are we people really supposed to forget about our evil in this world? Isn't that worse than committing the act itself?
"How." It came out like a demand, not a kind question.
It's important to embrace all aspects of ourselves... or else we start to pretend that we're people who we're not... I am saving you from this, Sam.
She swallowed, slowing her steps as she went quiet and thought long and hard about what he had said.
Only you and I know what you are truly capable of.
"Okay... and? That still doesn't explain anything."
You don't want to be like the rest of them. Don't dwell on it, my dear, Samantha.
"Alright." She heavily sighed with rolled eyes before arriving to a gas station. With lips tightly pressed together and head held high, she approached a nearby garbage can and deeply inhaled with hesitance.
He built you to be a machine, 010.
"You are capable of great things, Ten."
Why do you think he'd lock you away?
"Papa! Papa! No!"
He was afraid of you.
"That doesn't help." Sam bit out, tears pooling in her eyes once again. When was she finally able to become numb?
He feared the very thing he created.
"They build me up... they treat me like a God... they create a machine and what do they get in return? Me... and every cruel burden to go along with myself."
Exactly. Don't deny the anger, channel it.
Sam shook off whatever daze she was in and began to deflect, "...that's not right. He gave me powers, it's I who decides to use them."
Her hands crawled into the garbage can with a disgusted expression. She held her breath as she searched for any item that could possibly help with her thesis. And finally, her hands wrapped around a red empty can.
The Coke test.
With a relieved smile, she ran into the gas station, ignoring the looks and traveling into the restroom before she placed the empty can on the sink's counter. Her hands were firmly placed besides the can, her head narrowing down as her eyes grew fixated on this item.
"Good job, Ten. You can do it." Papa nodded, a growing grin appearing on his sullen face.
An assistant whispered with spite, "She couldn't do it yesterday."
Dr. Brenner glanced at his shoes before reviewing his most prized test subject. The bald little girl seemed unsure of herself but her face squirmed with anxiousness as her mind fuzzed at the coke can.
"You can do it, Ten. Show them." He mouthed, belief surpassing him and his 'daughter'.
With a tiny huff, blood trickled down the girl's nose, and the empty can shrunk and scrunched in on itself. Ten looked up with a small smile.
Sam glared at the can like it was her enemy and let her mind fog up around it, blood falling on to her top lip as she attached her thoughts to this particular object. It had been awhile since she used her powers. With the exception of tripping one of El's bullies.
She wanted to prove to herself that Sam is still Sam. No matter what.
With a flick and raised brows, the can exploded into a million pieces of plastic, flying everywhere in the bathroom. Sam sharply gasped, a hand held to her chest as she heavily panted with shock.
"All I do is destroy."
"Everything I touch breaks," she stated with disbelief.
For attempting to do such a small thing, her mind surely had other ideas somewhere in her subconsciousness.
"I'm nothing more than a monster."
Sometimes, you need to take a good long look in the mirror...
Sam bit her tongue, her teary eyes trailing up to her reflection. She could feel him stare back.
...to see what you truly are.
―
By evening she frustratingly stomped her way back over to the Byers' estate, nervous with what she could possibly say to excuse her behavior. Then before she got to the doorstep she decided she would just keep her mouth shut for the rest of break.
"Sam," Jonathan said with a solace tone as he opened the door for her.
His expression was more exhausted than usual. With hints of sadness in his dark eyes and slight wrinkles of fear.
"What..." she started with confusion, "What happened while I was gone? Where's El?"
Mike and Will approached from behind Jonathan a moment before she questioned, causing the girl to worry if Eleven had gone after her and couldn't find her.
"There you are." Mike declared with a displeased voice. Sam didn't need him to continue talking to know he was once again angry at her.
"What happened?" She spat, impatient and annoyed.
Will licked his lips nervously before telling the truth, "El got arrested."
"What?" Sam questioned with absolute shock, her hands coming into fists, "For wha—"
"For assaulting someone with a roller skate." Mike answered, glaring down at his girlfriend.
Sam's brows twisted, "B-But that wasn't h—"
"Yeah, it wasn't her, it was you. But that Angela girl must've told them her name 'cause she forgot yours."
Or because she's a bitch and hates El for no reason.
"Goddammit!" Sam cursed, pacing around in circles with distress, "She's in jail?"
"A juvenile detention center." Will corrected with irritation towards the authorities.
"Shit. She didn't tell them it wasn't her?"
"We weren't aware of her ever speaking to them but knowing El, she probably took the blame for you."
That makes me feel even worse.
What really was the icing on the cake was the way the boys were reacting. Joyce was gone now, leaving Jonathan responsible and highly stressed. Will was freakishly scared with not knowing what to do except sit and wait. And Mike... the same upset tone and expression from the night before. He was disappointed again.
"I'm gonna fix this," Sam mumbled quietly, heading towards the door, "I'll fix this."
"Sam, no!"
"Where the hell are you going?"
"Sam!"
"I'm fixing this!"
―
Needless to say, she didn't know where to start. So she went straight to her trusty powers, even after fearing the way her mind was destructive. With no blindfold or static, she shut her eyes and remembered a substitute option.
"It's just a bath, Ten. Think of it that way."
The small girl thickly gulped as her eyes looked up at the tall scary tube. Papa pat her head gently, attempting to console the girl.
"I can hold your hand on the way there."
"No," she muttered, shaking her head as she whimpered, "I want Mr. Ballard."
Papa pursed his lips together, brows furrowed with slight sadness before he nodded. The older man then motioned towards a young orderly. The blonde tall man traveled over with command and looked down at Sam with a kind expression that always helped her in the scariest moments.
He held out his hand and the kid gladly took it. She glanced back at Papa tentatively. Mr. Ballard's hand was always warm. Nothing like Papa's.
"It will be dark and scary at first," Mr. Ballard told her quietly, looking around the white room to ensure that this conversation was private between them, "Eventually the fear will subside, and you will be in control. Remember that, Ten."
She nodded with a swallow before she was led up the stairs and into her first encounter with the void.
A pond.
Sam's smile disappeared and her eyes flashed open at the sight of her legs suddenly taking her to a body of water on the side of the road, trees brimming the sides. She blinked with bewilderment.
How far had she walked? There was barely any signs of trees like twenty minutes ago. But it was scarcely dark now. Night had returned and the moonlight shone against the big pond. And now Samantha was about to climb in it like an idiot. But a determined idiot.
"It will be dark and scary at first."
She nodded to herself, the only articles of clothing she had bothered to take off was socks and shoes. Then she took a step into the cold water with a shiver fleeing through her.
"Eventually the fear will subside, and you will be in control."
Remember that, 010.
Her entire body was enveloped by murky water, her back swaying against the liquid as she drenched her entire backside. She shut her eyes in a calm manner before sprawling out her limbs and floating on her back.
The calm water bubbled around her ears, licking her soft skin and soothing her massive headache. Her chest heaved up and down at a nice pace as she focused on Jane Hopper. Her long brown hair. Her flannels. Her honeydew eyes. Her limestone skin.
"You will be in control."
It had been awhile but she made it... to the void.
Her eyes opened and she was met with the familiar empty blackness. For what felt like hours, she saw nothing. Little did she know that would be the most reassuring thing on the planet. Her bare feet patted in the puddles across the void until her eyes finally spot something in the distance.
Eleven.
Her back was facing her and she appeared to be sitting down.
"El," Sam grinned before walking faster over to her.
Would she even be able to sense me? She did back at Starcourt, her powers were down then... but now it's been months... what if she can't sense me?
A loud rumbling and cracking noise fell behind her. Sam flinched her head whipping around to see dark red clouds and lightning chasing after her.
"You're here..." Sam stated like a fact, shaking her head with fear, "How?"
Like I said Sam, I've always been here.
"Get out of my head."
But I care for you deeply.
"GET OUT!"
The red clouds chased after her and eventually wrapped her in a hazy storm that screamed and howled at her. She desperately needed a break, she ran in circles like an idiot, shouting at the entity to leave her brain.
He was even in the void, her safe place. He was here in the exploration part of her mind, as if they shared it.
Limbs and arms and tentacles embraced her, pushing her down into the black water as she screamed and they scolded.
"LEAVE ME ALONE!" She garbled, spitting out water.
Finally her mind escaped and she was back in her body, thrashing around with panic as she swam back to land. The pond wasn't deep whatsoever but the way she still felt tentacles trapping her made her uneasy.
She coughed out water, feeling disgusted with the wetness she felt everywhere. Then suddenly, her attention changed to a car stopping directly in front of her.
"Samantha Harrington," A woman formally greeted, along with two men in suits who also exited the vehicle.
"Who the hell are you?" She choked out more water before bringing herself to stand.
"We're friends of Dr. Owen's."
"Am I in trouble?"
"No. But we're afraid that you're friends in Hawkins are."
―
The woman explained to her that Eleven had safely agreed to go with Owens to pursue the Nina Project, an attempt at receiving her powers back in a lab orientated setting. They didn't tell her much more, even with the girl's rapid questions on what the hell was happening in Hawkins.
They asked Sam if she either wanted to go with El, wait for her powers to return, and then the two could travel to Hawkins together to stop this madness. Or... they could take her back to the Byers' residence and let her forget anything happened at all.
All Sam wanted to do was help her friends.
But... she knew the truth.
"No... El's saved the world twice. She's a superhero. I'm nothing more than a monster. All I do is destroy."
With heavy guilt, Samantha Harrington denied the request.
She'd do nothing more then harm everyone she loved. That's what she's been doing.
Owens' assistance almost looked disappointed at her choice.
"This is affecting a lot of people!" She explained hysterically, although it wasn't opted, "My boyfriend. My practical sister. My brother and my friends. I'm a danger to them. I can't be a hero. I'm sorry."
They looked at her with desperation but nonetheless, brought the drenched girl back to the Byers' household, along with the two guys in suits who were here to stay for protection.
For once, Sam had felt numb. Numb to the fact that she was a monster.
She could almost cry as she exited the car and saw Jonathan, Mike, and Will come out with worry and confusion. She could see it clear as day, even in the dark night.
But that voice... it wouldn't stop.