Eli POV.
Slowly everyone started coming downstairs and sat at the kitchen counter. Matteo had already eaten, but he stayed and made pancakes with me for everyone.
To be honest I didn't think about making them breakfast. I just thought it was something I was supposed to do. I know not everyone made breakfast for their parents and families, but for me, it was just a habit, something I always had to do. I didn't even dare to question it until then.
One time I slept in, because my dad had smashed my phone, so mum smacked me across the face and didn't let me eat for three days. So, I just made food every day after that. I also started waking up early just in case. That's the thing about me, I always learned from my mistakes.
The three oldest brothers were already down and eating, while Antonio and Gabriele slept in. I wish I knew how to do that.
"You really outdid yourself, Theo," Lorenzo said after finishing his breakfast.
I grabbed his plate and started washing it earning a couple of confused looks, but I pretended not to notice. Maybe I shouldn't have. The rules of that house were so confusing.
"Actually, Eli woke up way before me and cooked today," Matteo said with a smile creeping up his face.
"Seriously?! This is amazing," Lorenzo said with wide eyes, as Alessandro just nodded with a surprised smile.
"What can I say, I'm an excellent cook," I said grinning.
"You know, you didn't have to do this, right?" Alessandro said trying to study my face.
"I was already up so why not," I simply put.
I knew I messed up earlier with Matteo, but I hoped that I could be convincing enough that time, that he'd forget about it.
"Well, I'm gonna go wake the kids up. They have to try this," Lorenzo said getting up.
"Oh, you don't have to do that. I can just make them new ones, when they wake up," I said trying to stop him from bothering the boys.
"Nonsense," he just said and climbed up the stairs.
I just hope they won't be too upset. I couldn't handle it if they were angry. Why tho? Why was I so scared of it? Come to think of it, fuck it. If they're man, I'll just run away.
Antonio was a bit grumpy but softened after he got pancakes, while Gabriele was already awake when Lorenzo went to wake him up.
When everyone was there, I was left wondering if I could eat. I knew they told me the night before that I could, but maybe it wouldn't be okay anymore.
As a test, I put a pancake on my plate and took a tiny bite expecting to be yelled at, but nothing happened. I looked around and found the boys having a conversation about god knows what, and not even paying attention to me eating. I decided to take advantage of that, and I stuffed the pancake in my mouth before grabbing the rest of the plates and washing them.
I felt the water burning my hands, calming me down as I scrubbed the plates clean. It had been a hectic morning even tho I didn't want to admit it so I really needed that. I let out a sigh, before focusing back on the plates and finally letting the burning water fall down the drain.
"So, what would you like to do today?" Lorenzo asked me after breakfast.
I was taken aback by his question. I had no idea, I thought they would tell me what to do. Normally I'd be at work already, or studying, or if it was a good day playing somewhere. None of those seemed like the answer they were looking for.
"I don't know," I simply shrugged.
"Well, what do you like to do?" Gabriele asked me adjusting his position on the couch we had sat down on.
"I'm usually working, or studying," I told my brothers.
"You work?" Matteo asked curiously.
"Well, yeah. How else would I have enough money to be this awesome?" I rhetorically asked with a chuckle trying not to worry them.
"You don't have to work anymore, so you can focus on school now," Alessandro declared making my eyes go wide.
I'd get to go to school? Were they serious? I couldn't help the warm feeling in my body, from just thinking about it. I hadn't been to school in, I think, five years. My parents would send me to camp so often, that it made no sense for me to go to school. They had school in camp even tho it was different from real school and taught weird things. That school I hated, but I would teach myself at least when I was teaching Diego. After I ran away, I had to work, so I didn't have time for school and even if I had, my parents would have found me if I was registered in a school.
I remember hating school as a kid, but it soon became a safe place for me. Even tho I didn't have any friends and it felt like everyone hated me, it was better than home or camp. When my parents stopped me from going it broke me, and I found myself dreaming of going back to school, only to wake up and know, that it was impossible.
"I'm going to school?" I asked trying not to get my hopes up.
My brothers were confused, to say the least. Lorenzo and Alessandro shared a look, I didn't quite understand, but I could see a whole conversation happening between their eyes. Matteo, Antonio, and Gabriele just looked at me confused.
"Yes. You'll be enrolled in the same school as Gabriel," Alessandro said trying to figure me out.
I couldn't help but smile. I didn't want to let them see my emotions, but I couldn't help myself. For the first time since I got there, I smiled for real. I felt all giddy inside, and I kinda wanted to hug Alessandro. I could go to school and actually learn something. I could get a better job and support myself and Diego.
What about Diego? If I didn't work, how would he get money? I didn't want him selling that shit, I didn't want him to have that life. I was too happy to focus on that right then. I know it sounds awful, but for once in my life, I didn't want to think about the negative side of things. I could go to school.
"Why's your face like that?" Antonio asked earning a smack to the back of the head, from Matteo.
"I'm sorry, it's just that... I haven't been to school in five years, so I'm pretty excited," I blurted out shaking my hands, trying to get rid of the energy in my body. I felt like I could run around and scream. Right then I could hear my dad smack the table with his fist and scream at me to stay still, so I stiffened up in an instant. Even if it was just a memory, I was still scared.
Immediately, I realized I made a mistake when my brothers' faces went from smiling at me to confused and angry. I could see them trying to figure out what it meant, but I didn't want them to. I tried to quickly think of something to do or say to avert their thoughts from that. I didn't want them to know that much about me. I wasn't ready for that shit.
I could see the gears turning in their heads, and before any of them could ask me any follow-up questions, or do anything. I hurriedly hugged Alessandro.
I didn't like it. I felt so weird hugging someone, and I could hear the gasps from beside me. I had explicitly told them, that I didn't like physical contact, and after a while, they got it. I think it was the constant flinching, that made them stop trying yesterday. I wanted to cover them up, but I could see the boys realized what was happening.
Slowly Alessandro hugged me back softly. Almost as if he was scared he would break me. I took that as my cue to leave.
I gave them a quick bye and then ran out of the room.
Alessandro POV
They hugged me. I didn't realize what was happening, because I was too occupied with going over what they had said, but then I realized what was happening. I heard Lorenzo gasp, and I saw everyone look at us with shocked faces. I've only known Eli for a day, but one of the things they made most clear, was that you could not touch them.
When I realized what was happening I carefully wrapped my arms around their tiny body. It wasn't until my arms were around them, that I realized how thin they really were. They wore baggy clothes, so I didn't see it, but they were for sure underweight.
As soon as I hugged them back, Eli let go and gave me a smile.
"Thank you," they said and then quickly skipped out of the room.
All of us were left completely speechless.
"What the fuck just happened?" Gabriele genuinely asked us.
"I have no fucking idea," Antonio answered still not taking his eyes off the door.
"Can we just talk about the fact that they chose to hug Alessandro and not me?" Lorenzo quickly said.
"Can we talk about the no school?" Matteo asked making the others fall silent.
"Did you ask them about the past two years yesterday?" Lorenzo asked me.
"No, I just explained the rules, and we talked, and I could see they were uncomfortable, so I said they could go," I explained.
"What did you talk about?" Antonio asked.
It felt like he knew something I didn't but I let it slide.
"We talked about the rules, and then they told me they like girls," I said with a shrug.
"Well no shit Sherlock," Gabriel chuckled.
"Yeah, that was probably the most obvious thing about them," Antonio said with a smirk.
"You guys knew?" I said confused.
"Who wouldn't know?" Lorenzo said with a wide smile.
"We are getting sidetracked," Matteo sighed at the scene unfolding before him.
I know I'm the eldest, but Matteo might just be the most mature. At least when it came to social situations. I really wasn't good with people, when I wasn't trying to get information from them.
"You're right. We shouldn't be talking about Sandro's horrible gaydar. Why haven't they gone to school?" Antonio asked.
I rolled my eyes. On any other day, I would not let them talk to me like that, but I had bigger things to worry about.
"Well, we still don't know, where they've been for the past two years, but for three years before that? I guess Bianca, and Frank didn't send them to school," Matteo said, and I could see him clenching his fists.
My blood boiled just at the thought of those two. They stole our bebé from us and didn't even take care of them.
"I'll get someone to look into it," I said, typing away on my phone.
"What if we just ask them?" Lorenzo offered.
"We've already seen, that they don't like talking about personal things," Matteo said with his hands crossed.
Eli POV.
I was seriously thinking about running. They probably had so many questions, and I didn't want to answer them. I didn't know them, they didn't know me. How could I trust them? We were basically strangers. I didn't want them to know about my parents, the camps, or my life in general. They didn't need to now. If they knew, they'd had more leverage. They could hurt me more. I'd be weak like I was with mum and dad. I guess he isn't my dad, but that's what I learned to call him. What if I wouldn't be able to defend myself against them? What if I'd freeze like I always did?
For fucks sake, I had driven myself into a panic attack. I couldn't breathe, and the walls were closing in on me. Where the fuck did all the oxygen go?! I fell onto my knees, trying to catch my breath, but I was unsuccessful. I felt my eyes water, but there was no way I would let my tears fall. Oh well, that's fine, it wasn't like I needed my eyesight anyway. Everything went black, and I could hear the sounds around me mush together and slowly disappear. The feeling in my legs disappeared and I fell down onto my ass.
Fucking hell it was bad. I tried to breathe, I tried to do the things the lady on youtube told me to do. I tried to regulate my breathing, I tried to tense and relax my muscles, I tried to count my fingers over and over again, but It didn't work. None of it did. I didn't work.
That's when I started hearing them. My fucking parents. I couldn't tell what they were saying, I just heard them yelling at me. My old wounds and cuts ached more and more every second they kept on yelling.
I wanted it to stop, I needed it to stop. I started hitting my head over and over again, trying to silence their voices. I didn't even realize when my sight got back. Suddenly I could understand my father yelling at me:
"You know what to do!"
Like a robot, I got up, grabbed my bag, and headed into the bathroom. I dug my old, little, metal mint case from my bag and opened it on the sink. I stared into my eyes in the mirror, but I didn't really see myself. I saw something I absolutely hated. Well, I guess it was me after all.
I grabbed the blade and let it swing.