I had only slept until 3am and after that I was awake every hour. I can only thank the orgasm Hex had given me earlier for getting any sleep at all.
Mum, Harley and Josie had showed up at our apartment early. Hex and I had to scramble for clothes before they burst into the bedroom and promptly kicked Hex out.
"See you at the aisle, baby" Hex had whispered into my ear as his arm wrapped around my waist.
"Wait until after the wedding you two" Josie exclaims as I smile up at Hex, his eyes not leaving mine even though his face is stoic.
"Yeah, keep it in your pants and leave Hex" Harley chimes in.
"See you" I say and stand on my tippy toes to press a kiss to his lips. I pull back and drag my hands down his chest, his hard muscle felt beneath his shirt.
I have to push him out the door when I pull back and see the darkening of his eyes. I close and lock the door behind him and watch him get into his car from the window. He waves with a sly smirk on his face before driving away.
Next time I see him, he'll be my husband.
The thought makes my heart flutter and I want to lean on the wall like a Disney princess but I don't, Harley would never let me live it down.
"Good luck to Clyde" Harley mumbles. Hex was to go to Clyde's house until the wedding.
I had been so caught up in watching Hex leave that I didn't notice Josie leaving the lounge room until she reentered carrying four shot glasses.
"Alright!" She says loudly, grabbing everyone's attention. "Since Poppy didn't get a bachelorette party, we'll combine it with today!" She cheers, Harley joining in as Josie raises the glasses into the air.
She hands me one, some of the liquid splashing onto my hand from her fast movements. Harley doesn't hesitate to swallow hers, making her eyes water. Mum looks at me hesitantly, she's never been a big drinker.
"Josie, it's 8am" I laugh.
"Time is a social construct Poppy! It's your wedding day!" She raises her hand in the air again as a cheer. "Besides" she says quieter "I haven't had a drink since I got pregnant" everyone laughs "to Hex and Poppy!" She cheers again, raising her shot glass and then bringing it to her mouth.
I make eye contact with mum, she is watching me, waiting to see if I'll drink it. I shrug and bring the shot glass to my lips, scrunching my eyes together at the sting.
When I open my eyes I see mum bringing the glass down from her lips, her face similar to mine.
Even Harley brings her empty glass to her mouth and pretends to drink again.
The next three hours had been a blur of make up artist, hair stylist and music playing in the background, along with the soft mumbles of voices humming to the lyrics.
It wasn't until mum helped me into my wedding dress that I tune back in as I run my hands down the soft material. I always forget how perfect this dress is until I put it on each time.
I can't help but think about if Hex would like the dress but then I hear his words ring through my head. You could wear a trash bag and I'd still marry you.
"This dress really is gorgeous, Poppy" mum exclaims as she ties the corset up in the back, stealing my breath for a moment. She wears a floor length light blue dress, the same one Harley and Josie are wearing as bridemaids.
"Hex will love it" I say confidently with a smile.
"There's no way he won't" Josie chimes in "I mean; he thought you looked good in Hellbound's uniform and that thing was atrocious" she continues.
I nod, agreeing. She's completely right, those things were hideous, maybe that's why he was always trying to get me out of it.
Flashbacks of our time at Hellbound's surfaces in my mind. On his bunk, on my knees in the bathroom and the hallway. Blush rises on my cheeks at the memories, not sure if it's from the thoughts or from the stupidity of them. But at the time Hex consumed every part of me and I would take him anyway I could, even if it was in a prison hallway.
The make up artist and stylist had left half an hour ago. My make up had made my skin flawless, covering up acne scars and blemishes. My hair is in long waves down my back and parted down the middle. I look like a porcelain doll.
"Are you ready Poppy? We have to go" Harley questions while looking at the time on her phone. The wedding starts at 12pm, half an hour from now.
I'm filled with mixed emotions. Nerves, excitement and happiness. All of them cause my legs to feel like jelly and my belly to flutter.
"Yeah" I breathe "let's do this".
Mum holds the bottom of my dress and keeps it from touching the ground so that it doesn't drag through the muck while Josie holds my hand to keep me from tripping in the heels I'm wearing and Harley holds the car door open for me.
I have a moment of peace when the car door shuts behind me, it only lasts for a couple of seconds as mum, Harley and Josie stand outside the car. It allows me to breathe, to calm myself and prepare.
We're driving to the venue in my own car, I didn't see the point of renting a fancy car for half an hour.
Harley, Josie and mum get the car. Mum sits next to me while Harley drives and Josie sits in the passenger seat.
"Let's make you a Rose!" Harley shouts as she pulls out onto the road.
*
You would never know a wedding is being held at the venue considering the lack of people around. It's empty outside as we park, the only indication is the parked cars in the car park.
I'm helped out of the car again as all of us walk into the reception room. My heart beats fast knowing Hex is in the next room, behind the double wooden doors that separate us.
Mum squeezes my hand and I have to look away at her teary eyes before I start to cry too.
Josie, Harley and mum line up behind the door in that order.
"I'll see you on the other side sis" Harley turns and whispers to me before straightening and walking through the open doors.
Mums back is facing me but her sniffles don't go unheard.
"Mum" I chuckle quietly "the wedding hasn't even started" I place a hand on her shoulder and squeeze it in comfort.
"I know, I'm just happy" she sniffles one last time and dabs under her eyes before grabbing my hand and kissing the top. "I love you, honey" she says before walking through the doors, they shut silently behind her.
I'm alone once more and it allows for my anxiety to creep back in. I try to stop the nervous shuffle that my feet do but I can't stand still. My palms are sweaty and I smooth down my hair, almost knocking off my veil.
I look to the floor, my hair falling around me and the sight of my dress. I put my left hand out, the engagement ring catching the light and sparkling. There will be another ring next to it in only a matter of minutes.
I jump when something brushes my arm. I nearly trip over my dress as I take a step back away from the person.
He doesn't look at me, instead he's staring straight ahead at the double wooden doors.
"What are you doing here dad?" I ask surprisingly calm but the rage is slowly bubbling up inside me.
He still doesn't look at me, not because he's ashamed but because he seems confident, he still thinks he's above me.
"Have to walk my only daughter down the aisle" he states. My rage bubbles further. And it only rises more when I catch movement past him and see the woman he is engaged to standing at the doors.
"Get out dad, I don't want you here" I keep my voice calm and quiet but the venom behind it doesn't go unnoticed by him as I see his jaw clench.
"It's my job as your father to hand you over to your inmate" all the emotions of nervousness and excitement from earlier disappear when he speaks the words and I'm surprised that there isn't visible steam coming from my ears.
"You are not my father, you lost that title a long time ago" I hiss at him, taking another step back. "And take that whore with you".
I wait for him to react but he doesn't. He just continues standing and staring at the doors but I can tell I'm getting to him as his eyes harden and he tenses.
He hasn't even looked at me, he just wants everyone to see he's here.
I know the woman heard my words, the sneer on her face says if all and her crossed arms show she's uncomfortable. Good.
"I will hand you over, Poppy" he insists between clenched teeth.
I know I've already missed my timing to walk through the doors and down the aisle but I had no problem waiting if it meant he would leave. After all, this wedding surrounds me and can't continue without me.
"For the final time, you will not be walking me down the aisle. I have no problem holding up this wedding until you leave" I state firmly, my voice rising slightly and I hope no one from inside comes out to see what the hold up is, especially mum.
I stare at dads profile as I wait for him to say something. He stands firmly for a few moments before turning his back, not once having looked at me.
I breathe a silent breath of relief and take my place again. The music from inside is still playing over and over, waiting for me.
I see him stop in peripheral and I prepare to start arguing with him again.
"Will you be coming to my wedding?" He asks with his back to me. The woman has already started walking to his car and is out of ears range now. Seems she never even wanted to come in the first place.
I turn to look at him again, resisting the urge to throw my bouquet of flowers at him as I grip them harder than I should. I'm surprised I haven't broken any of their stems yet.
"No" I state firmly "and neither will Mum" the invitation hadn't been addressed to either one of us so I don't know if it was for one of us or both but I know the answer for the two of us.
I don't take my eyes off his back as I silently wish he would hurry up and leave my sight so that I can walk past those doors and into my new life as Mrs. Rose.
The realisation that this could very well be the last time I speak to my father hits me like a train. The thought should bring tears to my eyes, make me upset or anxious. But I don't feel any of that and the realisation that I don't care if this is the last time I speak to him speaks volumes. I will be okay without him and so will my mother. I don't need him nor have I ever needed him.
This conversation is the closure I needed and it will be the last thing I will ever need from him.
"Very well" there's no emotion in his voice, there hadn't been from the moment he opened he his mouth. "Congratulations Poppy" the goodbye is in his tone as he continues walking out the door.
He hadn't once looked at me. For someone wanting to walk his daughter down the aisle he hadn't even looked at my dress but I know deep down he never wanted to be here, he just wanted to look like a good father in front of everyone else.
I watch him leave down the dirt path, his figure becoming smaller and smaller the further he walks away until he disappears off to the right where the car park lies.
I gather my breath and straighten my back as I tune back into the music that plays and when I hear my cue, I push through the big wooden doors.