The thing about being self-restraint is that it's a crucial habit to detach. When you appear to understand series of emotion at a young age you'll eventually grow with a perspective different from others who were taking slow steps in acknowledging newfound feeling at a certain experience. To Beomgyu, he started looking things maturely leading him to an attitude of being reserved. It's a good thing because he handle things on his own without disturbing the people he cherish but the downside of it is that you'll lose your sanity.
He had been sleep deprived for two days. He's been stress at reasons he wasn't supposed to be stressed about. It wasn't about school. Not even about him feeling homesick. It's the feeling of getting lost. He doesn't want to start anything unless he'll be able to find answers to the questions he had about his strange dreams.
He wanted to find Terry. He badly wanted to see what does he look but he doesn't exist. He's only inside his mind. He's only a figment of his imagination yet how is it possible for him to be this attached to someone he couldn't even remember what he looked like after waking up.
He believed it isn't a coincidence anymore because it felt like it was him. He had a feeling that Terry was genuinely devoted to him and he shouldn't be living in this fantasy. He didn't want to dig deeper on whatever guy is feeling or he'll shut the world out.
Today is friday. The day Arin scheduled a barbeque party in the Kang's residence and here he is trying to get ready to attend the dinner. After his morning shift, he busied himself studying again disregarding the awful migraine he felt. He didn't even wanna take a nap, afraid that he'll be seeing himself again in the middle of a war.
Checking himself in the mirror, Beomgyu knew that he looked shit. Pale and have bad under eyes yet he managed to dress himself properly finishing it off with a pill of advil just to ease a little bit of his headache. Just as he was about to close the lid, his vision suddenly started spinning. He tried to maintain his balance but his study table wasn't that reachable enough for him to hold himself.
He tried opening his eyes but it was getting worst. As soon as he took another step- enough for him to took hold of the glass of water, everything went pitched black. The last thing he remembered was the glass shattering, the pill spilling and his body creating loud bang.
The married couple and Taehyun were conversing when they were alarmed by the loud noise.
"Was it from Beomgyu's room?" Soobin asked in fret.
"I think so. Gyu!? Is everything alright? We heard something." Yeonjun shouted but there was no response which was odd.
Even before Yeonjun could walk past Taehyun, the latter was running towards the stairs already and what he saw terrified him. Beomgyu was passed out with pieces of broken glass all over the room. Yeonjun almost tripped himself when he saw the scene and Soobin's eyes widen in fear.
"Beomgyu! Hey, hey, hey wake up." Taehyun tried to shake the boy but he was unresponsive.
"Oh my lord! Beomgyu!" Yeonjun cried out wanting to be near the younger but Taehyun was hugging the boy in his arms.
"H-hyung the c-car. We need to take him to the hospital. Hurry!" Taehyun shouted to which Soobin immediately responded to.
Taehyun carried the older stepping on the shattered glass while Yeonjun was following around trembling with panic. Soobin was already running towards their garage to start the car while Taehyun race to the backseat placing Beomgyu in his arms.
"Junnie listen to me. You have to stay and inform Huening and noona about this okay? Beomgyu's going to be find. You can follow us after you informed them okay? I love you." Soobin demanded trying to calm down his shaking husband.
"Binnie I-I wanna come with you." He replied holding up the younger in his collar.
"Please love, Huening and noona will be worried. You have to stay strong-"
"Hyung please! We have to go." Taehyun shouted. It was evident in his voice that he was in horror. Beomgyu's face looked extremely ashen and was sweating cold. The nearest hospital will be fifteen minutes apart and he cannot imagine the things that could go wrong in between the time.
"Hurry! Hurry!" He exclaimed as Soobin swiveled around leaving his husband with his lips quivering wanting to say something.
"Gyu please hang on." Taehyun whispered squeezing the older on his chest. He can still feel his pulse but there must be something wrong for him to pass out.
Beomgyu did not say anything other than expressing that he's scared. He didn't forced the older for he wanted to wait. He wanted him to open up without hesitation but if he had known that this will happen he should have convinced him more to talk.
Beomgyu is someone he couldn't imagine living without. The feeling is this strong that he's aware of how impossible it can happen but his heart says otherwise. Right now, Taehyun's in a minute of breaking down from concern. They have been in the road for not less than ten minutes but it felt awfully long.
"Hyung you have to speed up! He isn't still waking up." He shouted once more.
"I'm trying. We're almost there." Soobin replied hitting the gas doubled. He can manage to pay for a ticket if ever he gets caught overspeeding. The sight of Taehyun in fright and Beomgyu passed out deserves to be prioritize.
Taehyun easily carried Beomgyu out of the car when they reached the hospital. Good thing that there isn't much people because someone were able to assist them. They placed Beomgyu to a stretcher, check his vitals and put an immediate oxygen just incase worst thing happens.
They weren't able to be in the room while nurses and a doctor do their thing. Taehyun and Soobin could only wait outside the emergency trying to calm down.
"Excuse me? Who is the immediate family member of him?" A nurse asked.
"Me, I'm his guardian." Soobin replied.
"I'm gonna need you to fill up a form sir." The woman asked and Soobin followed after assuring Taehyun that he will handle all the papers.
A few minutes later, everyone came out to which Taehyun bombarded with questions. The doctor asked about his relationship and was hesitant but Taehyun was able to assured him that they were close friends.
"We cannot give you a proper diagnosis yet. We still have to run some tests but I think he overworked himself. Rest assured that he will be fine." The doctor guaranteed before they transferred Beomgyu to a room.
When everything was sorted out, Taehyun massage his temples watching Beomgyu closely in his hospital bed. He looked utterly different. He's still pale and he just noticed that Beomgyu seemed to lose a bit of weight and 'twas concerning. Fixing the strands of his bangs, Taehyun took a seat beside him resting. The adrenaline had exhaust him but he felt relief that they haven't left Beomgyu alone in the house.
He intended to fetch the guy earlier but he wasn't aware that he wasn't feeling well. Beomgyu appears to be more suppressed these days. After that overwhelming hug, something changed between them. Taehyun isn't slow-witted to notice that Beomgyu, little by little becoming transparent especially to him. The guy would call him for a random conversation even so often hang out to do the studying at his shop. There were times that he attempts to voice out something but will end up not carrying it on.
A bit more later, Yeonjun and the others burst out the door with a concerned look. Huening and Arin were also present as well as Soobin who just finished everything up. They talked for a bit until some nurses came to run some tests. The room went silent when the nurses were done and each of them was skeptical to open a conversation.
"I wish Gyu would tell us if something is wrong. I was so nearly passed out when I saw him earlier." Yeonjun broke the silence.
"Gyu hyung must be going into something right now." Huening added.
"He is. He's been talking about going to see some psychiatrist. He hadn't been sleeping well lately." Yeonjun confessed. Taehyun was listening as he caress Beomgyu's right hand digesting what the older just mentioned.
"Did he told you something?" Soobin asked his husband.
"He did but I'm not in the position to share it. He wanted to tell you about it but he's been having a hard time processing everything as well. It isn't just an ordinary thing so you guys will have to wait for him to open up." Yeonjun replied giving everyone a glance.
Soon after the short conversation, everyone waited for Beomgyu to wake up. Yeonjun was cuddling with Soobin whilst Huening and Arin were on their phones. Taehyun was still beside the older thinking about the possibility of Beomgyu attempting to express. Maybe he should exert more efforts in showing his interest to him. After about an hour, Beomgyu finally woke up.
"Hi." Taehyun greeted trying to block the lights so the older could easily adjust.
"Gyu!" Yeonjun wailed throwing himself to the younger when he sees that he was finally awake.
"H-hyung, I can't breathe." He mumbled tapping Yeonjun's shoulder.
"Yah, you scared me so much. You should have told hyung that you aren't feeling well. You are so mean!" Yeonjun scolded yet Beomgyu just giggled.
"I'm sorry I didn't know it's that worst. I'm sorry for ruining the dinner noona." Beomgyu apologized eyeing the woman.
"Nu-uh, no apologies. Your health must the priority here. Are you feeling fine now?" She asked.
"A bit. Where am I?" Beomgyu asked trying to sit up.
"Careful. We bought you to the hospital." Taehyun replied.
"What? I don't like hospitals." Beomgyu pouted.
"We didn't know what to do Gyu. We panicked." Soobin then confessed and Huening giving him a nod.
"Thank you everyone. I-I don't know how I should repay this kindness." Beomgyu uttered gazing down.
"Pay us with your good health hyung. We don't want you or any of us getting hurt so please take care of yourself too." Huening reached out.
"I-I will. I promise." Beomgyu then raised his hand to give them assurance. They talked more a bit before everyone decides to went home and Taehyun volunteering to stay for the night. Beomgyu insisted that he was fine but Taehyun gave him a look that he hadn't seen ever since, eventually permitting him. Right before they left, Arin bought Taehyun's gym bag for his necessities.
"How do you feel?" Taehyun asked as soon as the door closed. He walked slowly to sit on the edge of the bed as he scan Beomgyu entirely.
"A bit weak but I'm better than earlier. " The older replied not wanting to make an eye contact.
"You know... you can tell me." Taehyun expressed. There was silence as Beomgyu continues to ignore his gaze.
"I-I don't know what t-to do." Beomgyu replied stammering. Taehyun moved closer so he could comfort him.
"I-It keeps messing with my head. I don't wanna s-sleep. I-they're... I hate it. I-I wanna make it stop." He rambled out. When he looked up, tears poured out concerning the younger more.
Taehyun stood up to give Beomgyu the tightest hug letting the boy sob around his chest. Beomgyu's cries became louder that it was becoming to painful for him to hear. He couldn't do anything other than this. He wanted to share the burden yet he doesn't have any idea at all how.
"They... T-they kept on appearing to me. I-I'm scared. I'm s-so scared." He continues.
"Cry it out. I'm all here. Let it out." Taehyun responded. He kept on mumbling 'I'm here.. It's fine' because that's the only thing he could do right now.
The painful cry went on for about thirty minutes. Beomgyu didn't held it in. Taehyun willingly offered himself eventually making the older fell asleep. When he realizes that the older was back sleeping, he tried to loosen up the distance between them so he could lay him properly but the move had woken up the older.
"Stay with me." Beomgyu uttered in fear closing the distance between them.
" I will. I will. Let's get you comfortable first 'kay? I won't leave." Taehyun replied making sure not to release him as they shift to lay down with Beomgyu clasped around his chest.
"Goodnight Gyu." Taehyun whispered giving him a quick forehead kiss adjusting a bit so Beomgyu's head could rest around his neck.
The older doesn't have to know that he'll probably won't get enough sleep for his heart is about to burst out. For sure, magnolia is going to be his new favorite scent.