Pan across the floor of the Red base. Cut to Tucker Will and Ava watching Simmons working on a console. Wash walks up.
Washington: What is all this?
Simmons: It's the future.
Tucker: Where the hell have you been?
Washington: I've been doing everything I can to keep us alive.
Tucker: Oh really? Then where were you when Freckles tried to kill me for calling his tiny hat stupid!?
Ava: It is kind of a good hat.
Tucker: No it's stupid.
Will: I think it might be stylish on Freckles.
Tucker: It's stupid how many times do I have to say that.
Will: Freckles almost killed you for saying that. The only reason your alive is because Delta stepped in when he did.
Washington: I thought you didn't need me protecting you, Tucker.
Simmons: Hey, guys. I'm trying to revolutionize the world of inter-canyon communication. So if you could keep it down that'd be great!
Washington: What is he talking about?
Simmons: I'm talking about... the internet!
Simmons stands up and reveals the new "Simmons" search engine.
Computer: Welcome!
Tucker: Oh my god! Everybody leave! Everybody leave right now! There's something I've gotta do.
Ava: You're disgusting.
Tucker: I have human needs I have to do and I need the Internet.
Washington: The internet?
Tucker: Seriously. You're gonna see some shit if you don't leave.
Simmons: Well, it's not really the internet. The only two points of communication are Red and Blue base.
Tucker: (disappointed) Why would you lie to us like that?
Tissues and Vaseline are seen in the background behind Tucker.
Ava: I thought you lost most of that when the ship crashed and I thought I destroyed wheat was left.
Tucker: I have stashes besides I wouldn't need the Internet if you destroyed my only magazine. It wasn't that bad.
Will: The only reason Ava destroyed it was because Caboose found it.
Ava: We do not need him corrupted yet.
Tucker: It only had one picture.
Washington: You put one of these at Red base too?
Simmons: Yeah. I had to sneak past Freckles but it was totally worth it.
Washington: Why?
Simmons: Behold!
Cut to the "Basebook" homepage.
Washington: Basebook?
Will: Is this a Facebook rip off?
Simmons: Yeah. It's a site that lets you post pictures, videos and even text posts so that your friends always know what you're up to. It's revolutionary!
Washington: Revolutionary? The first social media sites were created hundreds of years ago.
Tucker: And there are no friends in this canyon. Only forced acquaintances.
Simmons: Yeah, but those old sites just turned into amogarations of attention whores. Nothing but teenagers who wanted to prove they were cool and old people who wanted to prove they were still relevant.
Ava: What dose that make you?
Tucker: So what's the point of Basebook?
Simmons: Oh, y'know. Just wanna keep in touch with my friends on the Red team while I'm your prisoner. Can't let them forget about Ol' Simmons! Ha ha he, huh ha ha he, (crying)
Washington: Well... I'm glad you spent your time in captivity on something meaningful.
Tucker: So you made it. What now?
Simmons: Well, let's see what Sarge is up to.
Simmons checks the computer.
Simmons: Uh huh. Hmm. Hasn't set up his profile yet... That's cool. Umm I'll just wait for an update. He has to have an update.Yeah I'm sure It'll come eventually. Huh Updates. He he ha, he he...
Washington: Ya'know... Maybe you should go outside for a bit, Simmons. I'm sure Caboose wouldn't mind if you got some fresh air.
Simmons: No no. It's cool. I'll just save Sarge some time and... Make a profile for him! Yeah. That'll be fun. And I'll do a post about it. Just so he knows...
Tucker: ... Hope You like the new Blue team, Wash. Really worked your magic.
Tucker walks away. Will walking over to the edge.
Caboose: (offscreen) Ugh, Okay!
Wash looks outside at Freckles posing in his sombrero.
Caboose: 'Kay! Okay! Don't move! Delta gotta get my camera! Oh my god this is gonna be so cute!
Delta: I'll get it.
Caboose: I'm going to put this picture on the refrigerator so just stand still Freckles.
Delta walks off.
Freckles: Holding position.
Cut back to Washington, Will and Ava, in the base with Simmons in the background.
Simmons: Hey, Wash. Could you take a picture and then tag me in it? He he, 'cause if I do it myself I'll just look like one of those losers.
Washington: (sighs)
Cut to the Red base. A crash is heard. Cut to Donut running out of the side door with his magnum.
Donut: Alright! Spread 'em!
Cut to Grif South Alex and Doc with Sarge in the background near some crates.
Alex: Hey, Donut.
Donut lowers his gun.
Donut: Oh it's you guys! What took you so long?
Doc: It's not exactly easy moving several tons of robot in a timely manner. I think Grif even dropped some of the pieces along the way.
Grif: There's a difference between dropping and abandoning.
South: These things are heavy.
Cut to Sarge.
Sarge: What?! Droppin' pieces?! Grif, if I find a single screw missing from this death machine, I'll beat the living pulp out of you and drink the remaining orange juice! 'Cause I like my dead men pulp free. And with extra calcium. If available.
Grif: What if I lost multiple screws? Or several feet of armor plating?
The now much smaller robot is seen behind Grif.
Donut: Giant robot battle here we come! This is gonna be huuaaawesome! Fight fire with fire. Good idea, Sarge.
Grif: I still say we should trap Freckles in a future cube!
Doc: You actually brought one of those with you?
Grif: Technically yes.
Grif throws a cube and a large stack of cubes appear.
Grif: But actually no.
Alex: We found them in the ship.
Donut: It's a cube that makes more cubes?
South: No. They teleport stuff. Grif show him.
Grif sees a traffic cone.
Grif: Fuck you, cone! What'd you ever do for me?
Grif throws a cube and teleports the cone.
Grif: I'm just kiddin', cone. You can come back.
He throws another one and the cone returns.
Donut: They're like Poké Balls!
Grif: No. THESE are cool. Do not ruin them for me.
Alex: After the five hundredth generation that game series sucked.
Grif: Ya that sucks so much especially the show.
Donut: Or maybe they send stuff to the phantom zone. Like in that bad Superman movie.
South: You mean Superman 2 or Man of Steel?
Donut: No the eleventh remake. (in a deep voice) Superman Origins 3: Revelations!
Doc: Oh yeah. That was awesome.
Grif: Sarge, look. Let's just send Donut to Blue base with one of the cubes. He throws it at Freckles. Freckles gets zapped. The we just throw the cubes in a volcano or something.
Donut: Why do I have to do it?
Grif: In case it doesn't work. I wanna be alive.
Donut: Makes sense.
Doc: But we still don't even know how the teleporter cubes work. What they're extremely radioactive? Or what if they only work on inanimate objects?
Grif: Robots are objects.
Sarge: Hey! You're gonna hurt some feelings here. Don't ever talk like that in front of my robot.
Lopez 2.0 comes over.
Lopez 2.0: [I heard the word robot. Did you call me?]
Sarge: Nobody's talkin' to you, idiot.
Doc: Well you should at least run some tests first.
Grif: But tests are haaard!
Sarge: Well if it keeps you morons away from me so I can work. I say go for it.
Grif: Seriously?
Sarge: You can either test the cubes or you can test this thing's primary defense systems.
Grif: What do I have to do for that?
Sarge: Just stand still and wait for the sweet embrace of death.
Grif: Okay. Yeah, I'm leaving now.
Grif runs through the base.
Donut: Ooh! I'm gonna update my Basebook page about this.
Doc: What's that?
Donut: Oh, Doc. You're. Gonna. Love it. You should see this picture Caboose just uploaded. It's HILARIOUS!
Lopez 2.0 and Lopez's head watch from afar as Doc and Donut go inside.
Lopez: .[(SIGH) Another robot. How original.]
Unknown soldier: Psst!
Lopez 2.0: [Did you hear something?]
Cut to The unknown soldier hiding in the shadows.
Unknown soldier : Yeah. Hey, over here. Brown guy.
Lopez 2.0: Holy shit, who is that?]
Lopez: [Who is what? I can't see.]
Unknown soldier: Okay, don't come over here or anything just listen. You and your friends are in a lot of trouble.
Lopez 2.0: [What?!]
Lopez: [Seriously, what the fuck is going on?)]
Unknown soldier:I'm gonna get you guys out of here, okay? But you need to sit tight a little while longer. I'm not the only one with their eyes on you.
Lopez 2.0: [What does that mean?]
Unknown soldier: I gotta go. Look I know you people can fend for yourselves just... Be careful.
Lopez 2.0: [Be careful? Why? Who is watching us?]
Lopez: [TURN. ME. AROUND]
Lopez 2.0 looks back and the soldier is gone.
Lopez 2.0: [He's gone!]
Lopez: [Gone?]
Lopez 2.0: [Vanished!]
Lopez: [Was he Batman?]
Lopez 2.0: [Lopez, we have to tell somebody!]
Lopez: [You can't be serious.]
Cut to Sarge.
Lopez 2.0: [SARGE! SARGE!]
Sarge: Hmm? You talkin' to me?
Lopez 2.0: [A MAN WAS JUST HERE! HE SAID WE WERE IN DANGER! HE SAID WE HAVE TO-]
Sarge: Dos point oh, quit your yammerin' so I can build your replacement. Ugh I mean your... Building your... ugh. Yeah it's pretty much your replacement.
Lopez: [Trust me, kid. Don't even bother. You could draw that man a detailed infographic describing the situation and he'd still find some way to screw things up.]
Lopez 2.0: [But we could be rescued.]
Lopez: [I can either be a head in this canyon. Or I could be a head in another canyon. At this point I really don't care.]
Lopez 2.0: [But what about our creators?]
Lopez: [They're the worst.]
Lopez 2.0: [What do you mean?]
Lopez: [(SIGH) You're going to want to sit down for this story. It's about 20 hours long and I only enjoy telling it in five minute intervals.]