Song: The Night We Met
Artist: Lord Huron
—
Millie finished making her hospital bed, tucking in the corners under the mattress until the sheets were perfectly flat.
"You know, someone can do that for you." Steve's voice startled her, but Millie turned around with a slight smile
"Just because they can doesn't mean they should have to."
"They'll just have to strip and wash the sheets in an hour or so anyway." He stepped up behind her and came so close to kissing the top of her head, but he refrained. "They do every night."
Millie still didn't have much energy, and would get random bursts at strange moments. Sometimes she'd wake up with the sunrise and sometimes, like today, with the sunset. It may not have been worth making the bed in the evening, but she was desperate to feel productive. She felt like such a nuisance and guilty for taking up such space.
The last week or so in the SHIELD hospital was strange to say the least, overwhelming too. Everything she knew had changed, including who she thought was still alive.
Her parents were long gone, both passing sometime in the 1980s. Steve told Millie he had hunted down their burial sites when he thawed and would take her there one day, along with Sylvia's.
Millie slowly found herself being more comfortable with Steve, leaning more into his light little touches. It definitely would take time to get used to him, she was still confused and overwhelmed with his new body.
She did, however, wish he wouldn't be so distant. He was loving, yes, but more platonically . And that made Millie's heart crack.
He'd hold her hands and hug her body, which was starting to put some missing weight back on, and kiss her cheek briskly, but that's it.
It was strange, because Millie craved his body... but she wasn't sure which one. And she craved Steve, but Steve wasn't the same. She had no idea if she was still something he'd like, and she was too afraid to ask.
She'd lost everything, if she were to lose Steve too, she didn't think she could cope. She'd gone through it once, no more, please no more.
Steve wanted to do more, he wanted to lift her up and spin her around, crush her with his weight while he made passionate, beautiful love to her...but he was far too scared.
Every single shower he'd had since that first one after the mission where they found Millie had been spent trying to desperately wash off the guilt, the pain, and it never went anywhere. Steve had done things, made decisions that, had he been in the right mind and still with Millie, would've never done.
He was refraining because he wasn't sure if Millie would still want him when she found out what a coward he was.
Too scared to die alone so he seeked comfort in another woman, too lonely to go to bed one night so he plunged himself into another woman's warmth, regretting every moment of it.
A knock took both Steve and Millie out of their trances and Tony walked in. "So, figured out where you're going to stay yet?" He asked and Millie furrowed her brows.
"I-I'm not sure... I thought I'd just figure it out when I got out"
"Well, you're getting out tonight, and I wanted to extend an invitation to stay at the Avengers facility, we have plenty of room for you." Tony smiled. "Unless, of course, Steve...?"
Steve looked at Millie and his lips twitched into a slight smile. "I mean, I'd like for you to stay at mine." His hand crept out and latched onto Millie's gently. "Only if you're comfortable with that, though."
Millie nodded and smiled, grateful for Steve's touch. "I'd like to stay with you, but only if you promise I'm not intruding."
"You're not, you could never. We practically used to live together, Mills."
"I know, I know. But that was a long time ago...even if it doesn't feel like it."
"Sometimes it feels like yesterday..." Steve added and looked down.
Tony rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, you guys are cute." He threw some keys to Steve. "You can take my car, I'll get Rhodey to pick me up after my meeting. By the way, who does Fury think he is? Scheduling a meeting at this time."
"Wait, I'm leaving now? Like, right now?" Millie asked.
"Uh, yeah?" Tony said as if Millie should've been made aware of it already. "SHIELD hasn't found any complications, so you're free. Oh, and Steve? Bring the car back when you come in on Monday."
Steve nodded but Millie furrowed her brows. "What's Monday?"
"I gotta go to work, baby."
"Oh, I almost forgot, sorry." Millie smiled sheepishly. "Still getting used to the new you."
"You can come." Tony said nonchalantly. "It's not like regular work. It consists of training, missions, planning, and sometimes just sitting around doing nothing."
"And you guys get paid for that?" Millie asked.
"Yep, which is fine by me. Means I can take care of you." He pulled her slightly into his side and Millie blushed, this feeling slightly more than just platonic.
"While I love that for you, I couldn't live with myself if I wasn't pitching in."
"Like I said," Tony added. "Come to the facility on Monday, I'm sure we can find something for you to do."
Millie smiled. "Okay, yes, thank you!"
"But only if you're feeling up to it, okay?
"I'll make sure she doesn't push herself, though knowing Millie, she will." Steve chuckled.
"Cant exactly blame her, I'm the same. Now, I gotta run, I have a meeting with Fury." Tony snapped his fingers. "Oh, but he wanted me to give these to you, Millie. Nearly forgot."
Tony handed Millie a clear envelope filled with the photos and letter from Steve that she had stashed away in her nurses uniform. They were damaged, but still viewable.
She contemplated having a proper look at them, but in the end just folded them up and passed them to Steve. "I'm not ready..." she mumbled.
"That's okay, I'll take care of them until you are." Steve gripped her hand. "Ready to go?"
Millie nodded. "As I'll ever be."
As the pair left the 1940s style room, Steve held Millie's hand quite tightly. "It's going to be a shock, just so you know."
"How big?"
"Well, I nearly blacked out. But I also hadn't had any explanation beforehand.So, this is just a warning."
Millie leaned into Steve slightly as they passed various agents, many of which gave warm, comforting smiles. "I wonder why I'm getting let out at night..."
Steve shrugged. "Maybe they felt night would be a less stressful time in the city."
"Hasn't New York always been the city that never sleeps?" Steve opened the door to the giant SHIELD parking lot.
"Yep, even worse now. It'll take you some getting used to, sleeping with the noise and all."
Millie giggled. "I used to put up with Bucky's snoring when he'd sleep on the couch, I think I'll be fine."
"Good point," Steve laughed. "He lives with me, so you might have to deal with that again."
The pair walked up to an Audi and Steve clicked the keys, unlocking it, which Millie went wide eyed at. "All these new inventions are messing with my head."
"This is just the start," he held the door open for her to climb in. "Wait until you find out about wifi, or see literally anything in Tony's place."
Immediately after backing out of the parking lot, Millie's eyes were lit up with the bright lights of New York City. She gasped in awe at the giant television screens that were strung up on glass buildings, and could hardly think straight with the sheer amount of people.
Traffic was moving incredibly slowly, typical for New York, and Steve noticed that despite her fascination in her new world, it was all becoming a bit much. Millie was straining her eyes and fiddling with her hands nervously.
He reached over and took her hand in his, lifting it to his lips to press a gentle kiss to it and then resting both of their intertwined fingers down on her thigh.
Her touch still gave him butterflies, and he was ashamed at just how quickly he melted into her. He wanted to delve into her again, go straight back into what they were, propose and start making a family. But he couldn't.
He wasn't so sure Millie would want all that when she found out he'd be unfaithful. Well, is it really unfaithful if you think your partner is dead? The line between cheating and moving on had become real blurry.
Steve never loved anyone like he loved Millie, and that love never really went away. He truly felt the exact same as the day she left, but couldn't bare to hurt her. He was terrified of her finding out, and just as terrified to lie to her.
Millie let her eyes flutter close, squeezing Steve's hand for comfort. It had become dark out, and slowly they started to drive away from the bright neon lights and enter something slightly more familiar.
Brick buildings with yellowed lighting seeping through the windows gave Millie a sense of relief, enough so to let her eyes shut just briefly and enjoy Steve's touch along with the sound of his gentle breathing.
She shouldn't be so surprised that things between them had changed, or at least, she was worried that they had. It had been much longer for Steve to go without Millie than the other way around. She felt that he'd probably changed more than just physically and had to take the time to get to know her again before he could love her again.
It killed her, of course, to try an accept that maybe he doesn't love her the same. Of course, he still cared about her, that was very evident, but love?
Millie still loved him, she loved him now and she loved him before, even when he was small. She just wasn't sure if the version of him now still liked this version of her. He was becoming a modern man, what if he only wanted a modern woman? What if he only wanted a woman that could match his super capabilities, his athletic looks?
"Millie..." he rubbed her hand and Millie's eyes fluttered open.
"Hm?" She mumbled, exhaustion completely taking over her.
"We're home."
Home...
Was this Millie's home? She was confused. She had no idea what she was to Steve, because his words were loving and his actions distant. Would he let anyone stay in his apartment and let them call it home?
Sleepily, she nodded, and unbuckled her seatbelt. Steve quickly got out and opened the door for her, helping her out of Tony's fancy car. They were parked next to an old brick building with a fire escape on the side. It looked familiar.
"Not too far from where we used to live, you and me." Steve said, walking her to the flight of stairs.
Straining her mind, Millie could see the slight resemblance to some of the buildings from back in the day. "Are we in Brooklyn?" She asked.
"Mhm," Steve hummed. "It's home, no matter who I am."
Millie tried to take a step up the stairs but stumbled backwards tiredly. Her body still felt strange and sometimes every day things were hard. Bucky said it was normal, having been frozen for so long.
"Woah," Steve caught her. "Careful, Mills."
Millie gripped the hand rail. "Sorry, I'm just a bit out of it still."
Steve put a hand on her waist and stopped her from trying again and held onto her hips. "Hold on," he said.
"Wha–?" Millie started and squealed when Steve lifted her by her thighs so she could wrap her legs around his body. "Oh my god!" She cried out.
Steve started to climb the stairs with ease, his hands holding her curvy bottom. "What? Surprised?"
"I'm just not used to this!" She laughed sleepily.
"Better get used to it, I don't think Bucky and I will let you lift a finger for quite a while." He smiled. "I've always wanted to pick you up like this..."
"You have?"
"Of course, and bridal style. You used to see it in all the old films we used to go see." Steve jiggled the doorknob to him and Bucky's place and let it swing open. "Always felt kind of...romantic."
"You were plenty romantic even without carrying me around like a princess, Stevie."
"You always deserved more, though..."
Before Millie could reply and argue his point, they were interrupted by Bucky. "Now that is a sight!" He chuckled.
Steve placed Millie on her feet. She wobbled slightly but he held her steady until she found her balance. "It's definitely different."
"Good different though, right?" Bucky grinned and wrapped her in a hug. "You have no idea how much I missed you, little Mills."
"Just different... and I missed you too." She squeezed him back.
"It's so weird seeing you in modern clothing," Bucky laughed, looking at the grey sweatpants and sweater that SHIELD lent her.
"I could say the same for you guys!"
"Oh, I don't know. Steve still dresses like an old man half the time."
"Yeah and you got this whole leather thing going on every now and then," Millie joked. "I thought that was only popular in kink culture?"
Bucky gasped. "I'm shocked you know what kink culture is, Millie Mae!"
"I'm from the 40s, Bucky, just like you. I'm not ancient."
"Well, yeah..." he sheepishly shoved his hands I'm his pockets. "But you're a lady..."
Steve kicked off his shoes. "Not that much of a lady, Buck!"
"That's true, I forget sometimes that you two fucked like bunnies."
Both Mille and Steve blushed and looked at each other before quickly looking away. They haven't even kissed, or discussed exactly what they were, let alone spoke about their past sex life.
Of course, Steve had thought about it, but he didn't say anything. Hell, there would be times before he found Millie, when he believed her to be long gone, that he'd wake up with a mess in his pants from a dirty dream about her. Usually where she looked like a 40s pin up doll, he'd even told Bucky about these dreams, wondering why they weren't stopping.
Steve dreamt about having hot, dirty, dominating sex with her, to be different, but also slow, sensual love making. Because he loved her. He never stopped.
"You hungry, Millie?" Steve asked, changing the subject.
Millie thought for a moment but shook her head. "Not really... I think I'm just ready for bed, is that okay?"
"Of course it is," Steve smiled. "Here, you'll be sleeping in my room."
He led her down a hall and Millie finally got a good look at his apartment, a mix between old and new. He flicked on the lights and Millie saw a basic bedroom, consisting of a bed, desk, and set of drawers.
"It's not much, but I'm sure you'll be comfortable." Steve brushed against her side. "The mattress is an old one that Tony was going to throw away, so you know...high quality and uh, stuff."
"We used to squeeze ourselves into that old spring bed that creaked whenever we moved." Millie smiled. "I think I'll be fine."
"Yeah..." Steve wanted to spin her around, shut the door, and press her up against it while kissing her. But he couldn't, the guilt was overwhelming. "Well, I'll be out here if you need anything..."
"Where are you sleeping?" Millie furrowed her brows, thinking he'd be joining her.
"Probably on the couch, or maybe with Bucky if his snoring doesn't keep me up. But don't feel bad, I'll be just fine."
"Oh..." Millie looked away and hid her face. If anything, this just proved what she was thinking. That he didn't love her anymore. "Okay...thanks Steven."
The use of his proper name caught Steve off guard, he went to question it but a loud crashing coming from the kitchen caught Steve off guard.
Same old Bucky.
"Okay, uh, goodnight then...Mildred."
Millie squeezed her eyes shut as he gently shut the door behind her and then hot wet tears rolled down her cheeks.
She covered her mouth with her sleeve, muffling the sound of her sobs. She pressed her back against the wooden door of Steve's room and let it's cool temperature send tingles down her back.
She felt like she watched her entire life with Steve play out in front of her, like a movie. From the first day they'd met, to the first night they REALLY met. New Year's Eve, how he walked her home, how she kissed her cheek. How she instantly found herself falling for him.
She'd lived 101 years, and 80 of them had been spent in love with Steve– even if she was frozen for the majority of it. She'd been starved, beaten, burned, injected, and belittled, but nothing compared to the pain of feeling like the love of your life had fallen out of love with you.
Drying her eyes, not wanting Steve or Bucky to hear her cry, she walked over to his floor length mirror. She stared at her reflection, the unflattering clothes, the cuts and scars all over her skin. She looked grumpy, felt ugly, and over all didn't look like herself.
She missed her skirts and nylons, her blouses and trousers. If this is how modern women dressed, she didn't like it. Millie had secretly hated her body and her face her entire life, but she never liked to admit it. She dressed well to try and cover it up, but her clothes made her feel as ugly as she felt, which was no amplified by her dead hair and broken features.
Not even bothering a night time routine, not wanting to have to leave the room to ask for the bathroom and risk Steve or Bucky seeing her puffy eyes and splotchy face, she set her shoes to the side and climbed into bed.
It was cold, and empty. It really didn't feel that different than the cryo chamber. It just felt lonely.
~
Shivering, Millie blinked slightly and tried to adjust her eyes to the pitch black room. She saw a bright red light displaying '1:32 am' on Steve's bedside table and figured it must be a modern day clock.
The air was absolutely freezing, or so it felt that way to Millie. However, ever since they thawed her, Millie swore she felt the cold a lot more easily.
She threw back the blankets and shuffled her feet across Steve's hardwood floors, desperate to find another blanket.
His room was empty, so she quietly opened his bedroom door and started to creep out and down the hall.
As she rounded the corner, yellowed lighting illuminated the apartment. The bathroom door was slightly ajar and Millie could just see a tuft of blonde hair peek out from it.
Glancing around the apartment, Millie couldn't see a blanket, so with a deep and nervous breath, she tiptoed towards Steve.
She peeked her head around into the bathroom and saw him standing tall, shirtless and in nothing but a pair of pyjama pants, drying his hands with a tea towel.
She let her eyes graze over him, noting the dozens, no, hundreds of silvery stretch marks that covered his back and every other inch of his body, along with various scars from god knows what.
He must've grown so fast...too fast.
Completely distracted, she didn't notice Steve catch her in the reflection of the mirror, watching her watch him. "Millie?" He said with a deep voice.
Millie's eyes shot up to meet his reflective ones and she quickly looked away in shame. "I, uh, I'm sorry." She cleared her throat. "I was just coming to ask for a blanket."
Steve opened the door wider for her, motioning for her to come into the bathroom with him while he finished drying his hands.
"A blanket?" He repeated, clarifying what her tiny voice said.
"Yeah...I can't sleep anymore, it's too cold."
Steve thought for a moment and tossed the towel into a hamper. "I don't think we have any spare blankets, but uh, I could...come in. Help you warm up."
Millie looked down, remembering everything she felt before when he originally told her he'd be sleeping on the couch. "You don't have to do that, Stevie..."
He reached out and gripped her hands gently. "I want to."
Millie looked up and her gaze met his, his eyes seemed so genuine, so caring, almost...something else. Maybe it was there, but she didn't want to get her hopes up.
"Okay," she whispered with a nod. "Thank you."
Steve flicked the light switch off and led Millie back to his bedroom. He turned on the dim bedside lamp and watched her climb into bed, snuggling into the quilt before following.
He pressed himself up close against her, resting his hand on her waist as they both laid on their sides and looked at each other. She shivered beneath him, and Steve watched as she huddled in closer to him until her face was nearly against his chest."
"You can get closer, Millie." Steve muttered and watched her look at him with hesitation.
"Are you sure?"
"Of course. Why wouldn't I be?"
Millie bit her lip and looked away. "You wanted to sleep on the couch..."
Steve felt his heart crack and he realised that while his actions were done out of guilt and not wanting to pressure her, they actually made her worry and panic.
"Oh, baby..." he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in as close as he could. "I just didn't want to make you uncomfortable. I didn't do it because I don't want you."
"Y-you still want me?" Millie felt tears brim her eyes as she stared up at him.
"Wha-? Of course I do, Millie!"
Millie started full blown sobbing against him, crying into his chest and letting the salty water from her eyes drip onto his skin.
"But you d-don't love me anymore!"
Steve felt his heart skip a beat and suddenly it felt like his world was crashing down around him. He didn't want to hurt her, but by keeping his distance, that's exactly what he was doing.
She thought he didn't love her anymore, she thought he didn't want her anymore. It was completely unacceptable and angry tears filled his eyes, he couldn't believe he'd made her feel such a way.
He grabbed hold of her cheeks quickly, frantically. Desperate to show her that wasn't true. "You really think I don't love you anymore?"
Millie nodded.
As his own tears started to fall, he mentally cursed himself. No matter how guilty he felt, not matter how scared he was that Millie would find out the did things with another woman, he could not go on letting the love of his life think she meant nothing.
With a shaky breath, he smashed his lips to hers in the most passionate and loving kiss they'd ever had. Tears dropped over their lips but they didn't stop, as memories of their past danced in their heads.
"I love you..." Steve said breathlessly. "I'm so in love you, and I will be for all of eternity. Do you understand?"
"...after all this time?" She cried.
"Yes, sweetheart. You're still my girl, if you'll have me..."
"Oh Steve," she sobbed. "Of course."
She tangled her legs with him and kissed him once more, feeling perfectly safe and happy for the first time since waking up and it all made sense why.
She was in the arms of the man she loved, and he still loved her back.
—
A/N:
Yaaaaaaaayyyy!!! Fuck I missed them 🥰
But also...Steve's keeping secrets... 💀
Based on my last question, Millie will be given a power! I've seen a few correct guesses but nothing that got specifically what it would be. I'll be taking the idea from another pop culture piece, a show to be exact, but it's never been seen in marvel before.
I have a huge week at uni so I wanted to get a chapter out with a fuzzy ending before I disappear for a week or so.
Early next month I am flying back to the
US for three weeks to see my family for the first time in eight years. I have no idea how much free time I'll have there, so I'm going to try and write some chapters in advance to upload while I'm away too. That being said, I have so much going on, I'm not sure how many that'll be.
Peace and love,
-Lonah Lennox