This is written in third person mainly because I think I write better like that, but it's still in Otto's perspective. You should probably read the normal version of the story first to understand everything, but please do enjoy/read/comment/vote/tweet/facebook! :) Read the epilogue after if you haven't already.
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Bittersweet love
The only thing guranteed in life is death. Certainly not a gurantee is love, though this is what many people are in pursuit of; what many people spend the entirety of their existence searching for. Of course, this as false a search as it is looking for a unicorn- both cease to exist. A myth. Many delude themselves into believing in it just as kids delude themselves into believing in Santa. You'd think this a cruel way to address the world, but once you become aquainted with the story of Gretchen, you'd this the previous paragraph is an understatement.
Her innocent story began in Munich in 1943. The fact Germany was undergoing a monstrous time was left unbeknownst by young Gretchen. She was merely the age of fourteen, though clearly her naivity lowered her mental maturity by years. You could blame her father for censoring all information ever directed to her, however blaming is a useless action. It neither provides a solution to the problem, nor can it alter time in order for you to travel back and change the course of actions.
The young man who was appointed the blame in the end was named Otto. He thought it lucky when he was promoted to working for the Reichsmarschall- Gretchen's father, Alfred. He'd thanked the Fuhrer with a 'Heil Hitler'. Clearly in the times where many struggled to survive, including the 'superior nation' themselves, having an adequate job was more than enough for a reason to live. This was especially vital for Otto as he'd been a lone solider; simultaneously both army-wise and family-wise. Otto was oblivious to where his father and sister were. He had no contact with them since he had been called up for training, although he was consented to send letters home. He refused contact with them for the simple, primary reason, he didn't know what to say. This was as a result of the fact Otto's mother was taken away for feeding a starving Jew in hiding. And it was because of Otto that she got caught; he had been to the one to tell the Party. Which, you could guess, is the reason for his sudden high ranking postion.
The first predicament that saw the two young Germans interact was in an unpredicted situation. Gretchen had knocked on Alfred's door where Otto was standing by his side. It was obvious that she'd been instructed by her mother to report to Alfred something along the lines of family antics. Otto didn't care for what the young girl said, he was merely astonished by the girl herself. Although his description of her would never compare to the description she had of him, he was amazed at even noticing the beauty of this girl. It was rare of him to actually observe any features of anybody from the female gender- he was far from the most observant person. To be fair, Otto had not been in very much contact with women so had a lack of knowledge about their characteristics, needs and desires. However, it could be argued that Gretchen was far from a 'woman'.
He watched her speak apprehensively. Her words were timid and shy, much like her personality. Gretchen's eyes met Otto's and in that split second, he saw fear ablaze in them. Quickly, she shot her line of view elsewhere whilst awkwardly shuffling her feet around. It was obvious she had an immense amount of respect for her father as she addressed him respectfully. Otto smiled to himself because of the mannerisms of this girl, she was one of the most respective people he had ever had the chance to meet.
"Thank you Gretchen, now hop off downstairs," Alfred instructed. After being dismissed by her father, the girl left the room slowly. Otto nodded his head at the girl's name: Gretchen. For some reason, he thought it had a certain spark to it.
"Dinner," Alfred stated as if he was too arrogant to actually invite them to join in with the family meal. Otto and Alfred's other worker, Ernst, nodded synchronously. Alfred got up from his seat and walked out of the room with his two apprentices marching in his shadow. Once they had arrived at the dinner table, the whole family sat down. Otto took the time to assess the other youngsters of the family. There was a young girl, who he'd later find out's name was Berta and an almost pubescent boy who went by the name of Hans. Otto was sure Hans would not follow in his father's footsteps; he was far too feminine. Sitting in between the pair was Gretchen. He watched as the family collectively praised the Fuhrer, and began eating.
It was quite an awkward moment for Otto himself. For him, sitting around a dinner table with a family was a rare possibility in his life. Surely, he hadn't ever taken part in such family duties with his own flesh and blood let alone his boss's family. Otto attempted to hide a snigger which was successful.
After a few moments of eating self-consciously, he took a glimpse up and saw the girl was no longer there. He dismissed the possibilities as to why he even cared for Gretchen's presence; she must have been an excessive amount of years younger.
"Otto, we need some cigars. Fetch them for me," Alfred's voice interrupts Otto's mindless pondering. Without a clue as to where these cigars resided in, he got up and decided the kitchen was his primary choice of the places they could be. He didn't want to ask Alfred himself as he knew Alfred was one of those people to get frustrated quickly and because he didn't want him to think he was incompotent.
His chair legs scraped against the wooden floor as Otto ascended. Slowly, dragging his feet, he entered the kitchen where he was shocked to see the young girl by a bowl of water washing a few glasses.
"Hello, Gretchen." Otto had convinced himself that his main purpose for starting a conversation with this girl was because he was required to get cigars. Nothing more, nothing less. She swivelled around with a shocked expression.
"Good evening, Sir," she merely said. She went back to washing the cups but seem annoyed when Otto interrupted her duties again.
"Where does your father keep his cigars?"
"His-s office," Gretchen stuttered. To be frank, Otto was amused. He had never seen somebody looking so afraid of him. She kept stepping back the closer he got and she seemed to be panicking; she was speaking far too rapidly.
"Are you afraid of me, Gretchen?" Otto asked her this solely for his own entertainment. He wanted to see her reaction. She seemed like a mouse being chased by a leopard- just waiting to die. Otto didn't realise the effect he had on her.
"No, sir." She looked down at the ground, unsure of where she should look. She couldn't face looking at him in the eye; he was far too intimidating for that.
"How old are you, Gretchen?" Curiousity got the better of him. Curiousity killed the cat.
"14, sir." Her answers were consistently brief. Otto was flabbergasted. The girl looked extememly younger than that.
"You don't need to call me 'sir'. I'm only two years your senior."
For a split second, Otto saw a spark in the girl. Her mouth lit up in an amazed smile. Otto noticed her lips concealed a perfect set of white teeth which he hadn't noticed until then. Her eyes were a flawless shade of blue which, even in a nation where blue eyes was mainly only accepted, he couldn't get over. Her eyes gave away her emotions which Otto thought of as sweet. "You have lovely eyes." Once again, Otto couldn't control voicing his thoughts. He watched as Gretchen's cheeks become a rosy shade and quickly, he departed the room.
******
It had been a long day for the trio of Fascists: Alfred, Otto and Ernst. They entered Alfred's household the following day worn out. Immediately, Alfred got on the phone furious with his work rival for jeopardising his plans. Otto didn't know nor care much about the situation. He just wanted to rest. He prostrated on the couch and waited for Alfred to be done with the phone. Hans and Berta were also in the room. They looked immune to the shock of their father swearing on the phone. Clearly, they had become accustomed to it.
The door slid open and Gretchen walked in. Otto observed her entering the room and gave her a friendly smile. Gretchen reluctantly smiled back. After a while, Alfred put the phone down violently. Otto was glad he could finally leave the room. He didn't like sitting around his boss doing nothing; it made him feel like Alfred was scrutinising every move of his.
As Otto decided to get up, Berta walked over to her father. Otto sighed, he'd have to stay in this room longer. Alfred didn't look too pleased either at his daughter talking to him while he was working.
"Yes Berta?" He huffed.
"Yesterday, Hans was in your office playing with your gun."
The room suddenly silenced. Nobody dared utter a word except Alfred whose voice boomed through the room. Otto watched as Hans sprung up.
"Is this true, Hans?"
Otto could almost hear the heartbeat of every person in the room. The tension could be cut with a butter knife.
"Y-y-yes Father. Gretchen was with me too!" Otto's jaw almost dropped to ground at the audacity of this supposedly timid young boy. For the sheer reason that he was sure to be in trouble, he stooped his sister down to his level; probably in an attempt to share the punishment. Otto was sure, however, that this would not be the case. They would both be forced to endure limitless amount of pain- no sharing involved. Gretchen's eyes almost changed colour as fury compelled them. She shrieked aloud something Otto failed to fathom. His eyes hounded Gretchen's. She was far more concerned with her father's reaction though.
Merely the atmosphere in the room exclusively was enough to cause heart ache, however this would in no way compare to what was in store for the two kids.
The sound of metal chinking rung in the ears of everybody occupying the now extremely diminutive room. It was nearly an inaudible sound, though in times of fear every minor sound is illimitably magnified. Otto now fixated his vision on the violence unfurling right before his eyes. He watched as the belt that was only just hanging around Alfred's waist was now colliding against Hans' pale, fragile skin, causing the boy to yell in agony. The sound of his voice almost burst Otto's eardrums; it was obvious the pain he was in was indescribable. The only other clue, other than the sound of Hans' screaming,of the agony he was going through was leaking along with the tears that fell from his eyes.
Otto struggled to concentrate on Hans as he was constantly looking back at Gretchen. What would happen to her? he inquired internally. His heart stopped when he saw Hans' on the floor and Alfred now moving onto his daughter. Gretchen's eyes widened in absolute dismay. She began stumbling backwards as if there were an exit waiting for her behind her.
Alfred looked posessed in Otto's eyes. He had never seen anybody look so angry with their children. He thought of children as a blessing, and he knew family shouldn't be taken for granted from his own regrets which was why he concluded that Alfred must be posessed.
The room was filled with apprehension as Alfred stepped closer and closer to Gretchen. Everybody was silent, afraid to say anything. Even Berta was mute, although she was the origin of this whole predicament. From the view of an outsider, the room was frozen. Nobody dared move. That was until Alfred leapt forward with his belt.
For the next moments, Otto's ears became surpressed. He heard nothing, however the images he saw of the maltreatment of poor Gretchen was enough to make him hurl. He wanted to jump in. He wanted to save Gretchen. He wanted to emancipate her from the torment. But was risking his job really worth it? Luckily for Otto he wasn't able to hear the agonizing, ear-piercing, stomach-twirling cries of Gretchen. Alfred seemed immune to the emotions of his daughter; every strike aimed at Gretchen quanitifed by a boundless division.
It wasn't until Otto saw that Gretchen had been thrusted out of the room that he could hear properly again. He wondered why this happened to him, but he figured it was due to the fact he was gifted at blocking things out. He had been doing it for so long.
"Scheisse," Alfred cussed at nothing in particular. He grabbed his cap and left the room.
Otto looked around the room, unsure of what to say. Berta sunk into her seat, regretting her actions. Ernst twiddled his thumbs indifferent.
A painful heartache was felt in Otto. He longed to comfort Gretchen.
As sly as he'd been trained to be, he left the room unnoticed. He held onto the bannister of the stairs as if he was a child, but his fear was caused by the fundamental reason of getting caught by Alfred. His footsteps echoed against the wooden floor while he listened out for sniffling coming from the correct room of Gretchen's. Hopefully, he thought, he wouldn't mistaken Hans' crying for Gretchen.
He stood poised outside the door he'd convinced himself was Gretchen's. Slowly, he knocked.
"What do you want?!" Otto shuddered at the sound of Gretchen's voice which had become cold and calculated. He hated the fact Alfred had such an impact on Gretchen; so much to the fact that she had become a totally different person. He could tell from her voice that she was in no state to let him in, so spontaneously, he opened the door himself.
He stared at the state of the place. Gretchen was sitting there, tears streaming down her face. Her knuckles looked badly.
"Hello, Gretchen." Otto broke the silence attempting to hide the fact he was shocked at the state of the room. It worked as she looked none the wiser. Otto's silhouettte painted a dark image on the wall. "Are you okay?" He added once he realised she wasn't going to reply.
Her big blue eyes looked as if she were contemplating something, however any thoughts running wild in her mind quickly dispersed as she came out with a simple answer. "Yes, I'm fine."
"Well, I've got a wet cloth if you need it." He had managed to acquire the aid before knocking on Gretchen's door, though, he didn't quite comprehend how a wet cloth would aid her himself, he just ached for Gretchen to understand he was there for her whenever she needed him. His eyes caught Gretchen's for a moment and he saw a tear in her eye causing an unwelcome twinkle.
"Why are you crying?" He stepped closer to her in order to inspect her facial expressions more clearly. Subconciously, he found himself wrapping his arm around her.
"Nothing."
Clearly, this was not the case.
Otto was not giving up until he found out why she was upset. "It's got to be something. Tell me?"
"I... I... just don't know," she sighed, defeated. In that moment, Otto found himself feeling accountable for this young girl's demise in happiness. He felt constrained to comfort her; to offer her love and support. In an action he would later regret, he kissed her. Without thinking. He knew of no other way to comfort her so he done the only thing that had entered his mind. He didn't think of it as a romantic thing, he didn't feel as loved up as Gretchen would feel, he merely felt as if he had done the girl a favour by offering her his compassion.
"Otto!" The sound of Alfred's booming voice causes the two to seperate and lose physical contact. Gretchen looked disappointed, but this was oblivious to Otto. He was primarily worried that Alfred might have come up and seen them.
"I've got to go!" He informed her, and ran out of the room without looking back. Gretchen watched him leave the room and felt a painful pang in her stomach when he left. She had convinced herself that she was in love.
*****
It had been an eventful three days after he had kissed Gretchen. He hadn't thought about it since he had left, for two reason. Firstly, he didn't think much of the experience. To him, he felt it to be merely just him offering his support to a young girl. And secondly, because he had more important things on his mind. He had been blessed with the news that he had been offered a role in the Dachau Camp as one of the heads. He hadn't known why he deserved such a promotion so quickly, but he didn't care. He was just excited to be handed the opportunity to prove his loyality to the Fuhrer.
As he and Ernst slowly ambled up the pathway to Alfred's large house, he thought of saying goodbye to the family. Yes, it was true that he hadn't been acquainted with them for such a large period of time, but it was also true that he became fond of this family. Fundamentally because he had realised how much he missed his own.
The sound of a knock at the door was quickly followed by the sound of Alfred's wife (who Otto still didn't know the name of) welcoming them in pleasantly. Otto admired her; she was the ideal wife. Always obliging to the rules of her husband and never questioning his authority. Otto wished for a wife like that, one day.
It was clear to both Ernst and Otto that the family had just been having dinner, and it was clear to the family, from the packed bags beside Otto, that he was leaving. Alfred of course knew beforehand this encounter, he had been the one to recommened Otto. Alfred met Otto in a firm handshake, congratulating him in his new role. Otto awkwardly thanked him and moved on to the next family member.
He said his goodbyes to Hans and Berta, although they had hardly engaged in any conversation. Then, he moved onto saying his goodbyes to Alfred's wife. She had offered him great hospitality the few times that he had visited the house, so his goodbye to her was very sincere. In shaking her hand, he was interrupted when he saw Gretchen pop up from the kitchen door. He had only seen her through the corner of his eye, but he could see the distraught, flabbergasted look on her face.
After rapdily saying goodbye to the woman who stood gracefully in front of him, he moved towards Gretchen.
"Goodbye, Gretchen," Otto said, in a hurry to get away from the house. He couldn't stand leaving another family, it was a sad time for him. Clearly, Gretchen thought that Otto was having trouble saying goodbye to her due to his emotional face- she was very mistaken.
"Pardon, sir? What do you mean 'goodbye'?" A confused tone emerged in her voice, however it was clear she knew exactly what he meant by 'goodbye', she was just refusing to accept it.
"He's got a new job in Dachau camp! Isn't it wonderful?"
Otto turned and saw that this remark had come from Alfred's wife. He nodded to confirm what she had said, to Gretchen's dismay.
"When are you coming back?" She managed to utter. Her voice was once again as timid as Otto had witnessed when he first saw her. He saw a new type vulnerability in her, one that he felt he couldn't offer his support for.
"I don't think I will. Goodbye." The sound of his voice become almost inaudible. He attempted to smile but failed.
Turning to thank Alfred again, Otto shook his hand. That was the only way he knew of saying goodbye and as a result, his hand was starting to feel numb. Alfred's hand shakes were far from the softest. He leaned over to pick his bags up when he saw Gretchen darting out of the room in a manic haste. He thought this peculiar, but any other reasoning quickly dispersed in his mind. He decided to just pass it off as teenage girl antics- something he would never grow accustomed to, nor would he understand.
Alfred's wife, like the faithful wife she is, opened the door for Otto and Ernst to depart. Otto was glad Ernst had offered to drive him to the designated location, it beat having to drive in the staff truck.
"Thanks for doing this, Ernst," Otto genuinely said as they both reached his tattered truck. He didn't mind the state of the vehicile, as long as it got him from A to B, he was happy.
"It's okay," Ernst responded. His deep voice filled the air with a warm atmosphere. "I think I'm the only one who knows where it is anyway," he added with a distorted laugh.
They both entered the car, unbeknownst to them that little Gretchen was cramped in the trunk of the car, desperate for Otto's affection.
*****
As Otto sat in the office talking to the other members of the team, Gretchen had clumsily slipped out of the back of the trunk.
He was laughing and joking with his work mates, she was wandering through a crowd of Jews waiting to die.
He was having a drink or two, she was getting shoved into a gas chamber.
Zykon gas filling her millimetre of her nostrils, causing her body to become shrivelled from the outside in. The heat of the room pentrating her already fragile skin, causing burns inconceivable to anybody today. Her cries for Otto becoming muffled under the wails of the many women who crowded her, begging for mercy. Begging for freedom. Begging for the chance to live- to not be left to die in such a callous way.
All the while, she was calling for Otto to save her. He knew nothing of what was happening though, he was completely oblivous to the love she felt for him.
With her final shriek, her body fell drastically onto the burning ground. Anybody who saw the body wouldn't recognise that it was once a young, innocent girl.
Her hair had been mallicously burnt off, her eyes rolled back into her head and her skin was now a new shade of coal.
All because she thought she was in love.
Bittersweet love.