You shift around the bed for a little while after you wake from your nap. Everything hurts. Your ass hurts to lie on, your neck needs support, everything stings. Worst of all, you can't keep your brain from jumping over every interaction you've ever had with Ren.
You're trying to stay sleepy, but your overactive brain begs to be used. So, you give in, moving gently to your bed side table with a wince to retrieve the notebook you'd stolen from Ren's office.
You flip over the pages you'd spent your solitude drawing and writing over, landing on a fresh page. You start a new sketch.
As you scribble onto the page, you think about how you hate what you let happen earlier on. You admit that you wanted it, you needed it, that despite this inner hatred you've developed... you're utterly and completely drawn to him.
Sexually, he clicks into you, a piece of the puzzle you hadn't realised needed solving. You decide in the end that this thing with Kylo... it's just a separation of sex and emotion, that you can hate someone even though they... can do that to you.
Regardless, you don't want what happened earlier to ever happen again. It's too confusing, you shouldn't be so intimate with someone so despicable. Especially since he's left you bruised and aching all over. You can't even begin to imagine what LJ would think of you. Getting yourself to the other side of the bed hurts like a bitch.
Damn it.
You slip out of bed with a new-found determination, pulling on some socks and not caring that you're still wearing the clothes from earlier. After all, he's seen you in a way you never wanted him to see you. There's no going back now.
Getting out of bed was more painful than you thought it would be. Your joints are screaming, but your neck is the worst of all. It's a struggle to hold your own head up.
You stop by your mirror before you leave and almost gasp out loud in shock. A hand shaped bruise patterns your throat, a bold reminder of Kylo's clasp around you. Bite marks litter your body. Your fingers lift to touch the tender flesh. The pain can only be described as a pinch of nerves at each connection.
You turn your head to the side despite the ache, finding two bruises at the base of your jaw on each side. A darker bruise sits along your cheek bone. Before you realise what you're feeling, a tear escapes your eye and runs over your blushed cheek. You blink it away.
You stare, wide eyed at the finger shaped bruises that pattern your thighs. Lifting your underwear, your lip wobbles at the sight of more along your hip. You assume your other hip will look the same. You remember it hurting, but the pleasure of Kylo touching you there drowned it out. It's like he's incapable of passion without hurting you. Sometimes you like it. You hate that you like it. But you're finding yourself feeling incredibly used, an object for Kylo to toss around.
You had been thrown around by him before, but you were a prisoner. You didn't have sex with him. You could seethe and hate. Now, you blame yourself. You've practically asked for him to keep doing this. You knew he had this control over you, keeping you hostage here as the Commander of the First Order... you expected him to be rougher if anything. Yet, you still let him fuck you. You willed it. Begged for it as you showered, imagining him in there with you.
The hallway is cold, as usual, and you wish you'd stopped to put on sweatpants. It's too late now. You're standing, fidgeting, by his door. Your head throbs, and your legs feel like jelly but you're not sure if it's because of what happened earlier, or because you're so nervous. The stinging remnants on your ass and hurting ache spreading over your body keep you aware you of your mistake, spurring you on to finally knock on his door.
There's no response.
Is he out? Ignoring you? Sleeping?
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
You bring your hand up to the data-pad and hover over it. You still don't know the code. You can't open the door to his bedroom, yet you've fucked on the floor of a training room. This is so screwed up.
You rub your eyes, your thoughts messing with your judgement ability.
Ok, you know what. Fuck. You're gonna regret this, but you do it anyway. Things aren't as simple as they were before. The rules are probably different now.
You slip through the door to the study, moving past the couch and turning into the hidden passage. The narrow walls feel almost as claustrophobic as you do in Kylo's presence.
You have no idea what thought process led you to here, this is basically suicide. But you continue anyway. You need to see him. Even just to yell. You think that's what you need. To blame him. To scream.
You know that he'll know you're there. There's no use beating around the bush. Yet, you find yourself hovering by the corner of the room - hand on the wall like it might save you.
Kylo's awake. You run your eyes over him, he's facing the opposite wall, standing tall at a brand new table. He's always working. His broad shoulders are hunched in tension, and you watch timidly as he closes the projection and stares at the wall.
You're actually in his room now, and suddenly you wish you weren't.
You clear your throat, mustering any courage that still exists in your wrecked person, and clearing up your mind. You block it off in case he tries to read you.
"What happened cannot happen again." You say, trying to keep your voice steady. "I just needed you to know that."
Kylo doesn't turn to face you, but you can sense from here that he's angry.
"Get out." His solid, booming voice speaks his command, and you find yourself stepping back slightly at how bored of you he sounds.
You're a bug on his shoulder that he's itching to flick away.
You suddenly realise you've done the exact thing that could make him want to hurt you again. And this makes you angrier than ever.
For some reason you thought that after you'd had sex, it wouldn't be that big of a deal to come into these rooms. That he wouldn't care. Panic strikes, gripping your limbs into frozen fear. Of course he cares, last time you came here he smashed your face into a broken glass table. The cuts were still healing, pink lines across your face.
"I need you to say you understand... I don't want that to happen again." You're almost shocked at your boldness, but glad it seems to be back again.
"Stupid little girl." His voice echoes across the room, drumming into you. He hasn't even bothered to turn around yet, still working. "If you dare to give me an order once more, you won't survive the next time I fuck you."
You gulp, your lungs not obeying your frantic breathing.
Kylo's large physique is insane, you drink it in as he turns to face you, those broad shoulders begging to be touched. But as quickly as your eyes flick to his face - you look away again. His stare is too much.
His jaw is clenched and he's clearly holding himself back, leaning against the table behind him. A beat passes and you think you can handle whatever is about to happen.
You didn't expect the sound of his boots on the floor as he approaches to send a jolt through you with each step. You stumble back a little more, trying to gain distance between your bodies.
Your back is against the window now, praying he'll just let you go. What the fuck was going through your head when you came in here? Why do you let emotion drive you without logic?
"There won't be a next time." You push, referring to his audaciousness of assuming there would be. Just because he says so.
SMACK. Kylo hits you, backhanded, across the face. Your head bangs into the window behind you as you jolt back in surprise. The sudden whiplash of your head turning wrenches a sharp stabbing pain in your neck.
"What the fuck did I tell you?" He tilts his head, his eyes darkening as he snarls his words. He can't seem to resist grabbing your face when he's angry. Here you are again, a bruised jaw being squished between a giants hands.
"Not to come in here." Your eyes feel the widest they ever have before. A tear escapes your eyes, the pain of his hand on an already hurt jaw is too much - forcing a cry from your lips as he grips harder on the sensitive flesh.
"I also told you not to lie to me." His rough voice seems more gentle here, you almost feel guilty for saying that you wouldn't do this... when here you are. You think that's the lie he means.
BANG. He smacks your head back into the window behind you to grab your fading attention. Your throat squeaks. The headache grows.
"This won't happen again." Kylo orders, definitively. "Ever."
You're nodding, you have to hold yourself back from begging for forgiveness. This effect he has is too strong... you're so deeply ashamed of how you're acting.
His fingers loosen on your jaw, and you can vaguely feel a throbbing at the location your skull hit the glass.
Kylo forces a finger under your chin until you lift your face all the way up, exposing your neck to him.
He looks over his work with muted curiosity.
He likes it, you can feel it. The energy surges from him. He's... aroused.
His face is almost angelic here, the lighting bouncing off the curvature of his nose and eye brows and jaw in the most flattering way. You can see the anger through his features, but he's still beautiful. You wish you could touch him. Properly.
"Go, before I change my mind." Apathy smooths over his features. You want to stay. But you take the opportunity and rush away, not looking back as you round the corner and come up to the couch.
You take a second to breathe, leaning your hands on the back of the couch.
The room wobbles, the intensity catching up to you. Your head pounds as you begin to feel faint.
Everything goes dark.
You wake up on the floor next to the couch. You'd passed out.
With no clue how long you've been lying here, you rub your head, pulling yourself to your feet in a wobble. You have to push past all of the jabbing in your sides.
When you're back in the room, the waiting is the worst agony.
You don't know what to do in this situation. So, you resort to showering, shaving, brushing your teeth again, all to pass the time. It's painful in your current state, but worth it.
The steam from the shower helps to relax your muscles, and when you're changed into a top and shorts, you find yourself pacing the room on unstable legs. Your throat and head throb, so you end up having to lie down using pillows to support it. You want to sleep it off for a week. But you won't allow yourself. You'd be too vulnerable.
You still want to talk to him. To yell at him. You have all this pent up anger, and when he's in front of you - you don't have the balls to let it out. You're truly trapped. A prisoner to all that you hate, with no way out. You despise him for it, but the way he instantly coaxes your arousal, the violent, passionate way he holds you, looks at you, spreads your legs and truly takes you...
That... that is impossible for you to ignore.
You groan, rolling over the bed until your at the edge by the door. How did Kylo Ren lodge himself into your brain?
Of course, you know the answer.
The intensity of your encounters. The mind you don't have access to but crave insight for. The softness, the roughness, his face... his voice...
You drag your pile of a body to the door and press on the data-pad until it opens. You're not allowed in his rooms, but you're allowed in the hallway. You're bored of your room, and completely fed up. The boredom makes you think of him. You need a change of scenery.
So, you slide your back down the wall and sit on the floor on your aching and bruised ass, staring up at the ceiling and counting the tiles. It's strangely plain out here, but it's slightly better than feeling extra trapped in there.
You're not even sure how long you're sitting, daydreaming, until the noise of Kylo's door sliding open with a few beeps jolts you upright.
When it does, you pull your legs to your chest, realising you're taking up a lot of the floor.
You admire his robes. He's not wearing his helmet but the rest of him is cloaked, the same at the day you met him. Kylo Ren, truly, stands tall in front of you.
His brow furrows into a frown as he scans your miserable display. You're suddenly embarrassed, a rosy glow rising in your cheeks as you realise how pathetic you are.
Looking at the wall in front of you, you rest your chin on your knees with your face burning in humiliation.
Kylo chooses to ignore your presence on the floor, walking past and heading for the door to exit. Though, he stands by the door for a moment, as if to think for a moment.
Something dawns on you, a distraction from your shame.
"Are you... leaving?"
He hesitates, gripping the helmet in his hands harder. "Yes."
You pretend you don't feel disappointed, and instead focus on trying to gain some freedom. "Could I come?"
"No." His response is harsh and fast, frowning even harder at your suggestion.
"However... you may enter the study while I am away." He says, pressing the code into the data-pad before leaving you to sit in thought. The swoosh of his cape disappearing behind the door sinks your heart into your stomach.
Did he know you were in there before? Is that why you're allowed - because he thinks you'll just do it anyway? Or is he actually sympathetic?
Either way, you're ecstatic to not feel entrenched in guilt and fear during your time in the room. You rush to the door and open it, practically skipping toward the couch and letting yourself lay across it - finally - without tension. At least the couch feels soft on your injuries compared to the hard hallway floor.
You use the day to do art. The notebook is soon covered by pages of Kylo Ren. You've been trying to draw him, from memory, the shadows on his face, the scars, trying to see how much and how accurately you've kept his face in your thoughts. He's got the perfect bone structure to sketch. Of course, you'd prefer it if he was sat in front of you as a reference - but you'd never tell him you wanted to draw him, and you expect he would never let you.
Soon you've exhausted every inch of the sofa, and even sat at his desk a little - though it felt odd and invasive so you quickly returned to the couch. You're in the middle of a sketch of Kylo at his table in his room, when you hear the beeps and whooshes of the study door opening.
He's behind you, now, in the room. You slam the book shut and at your stupidest attempt to hide it, you sit on it. You don't know what to do with the pencil so you just hold it, fiddling as you listen to his footsteps as he approaches his desk. Thankfully he's holding his mask and it isn't blocking your favourite part of him from your starving eyes.
Saying hello isn't something you expected him to do, nor want to hear, but much like you felt the need to say goodbye - you wanted to. You craved the normalcy.
"Hello, Commander." Calling him Commander almost causes a jolt in your body, a flinch, you hate it. You hate it, and yet, knowing he likes it...
"Do I need to confiscate the book underneath you?" Kylo speaks, a genuine question, the smooth low words almost cause you to drool.
"No." All you can think is to beg him to let you have this. You need this.
"Do you have something to hide?" His back is still to you, moving around the things that line his desk, his hands hard at work. Did you accidentally move something? Oh no. You don't worry about that too much because you can't stop thinking about how you want to keep staring at those hands - despite being more scared he'll catch you.
"No, but-" You stop, thinking about what this would sound like to him. You need to occupy yourself. You need to spill your thoughts. You need to sketch your surroundings. You sound a little... crazy.
Kylo doesn't even need to say anything, when he turns to face you, you know he wants you to continue.
"You keep me here, with nothing to do." You're getting a little itchy, almost frantic that this man has caused you so much panic and so much sub-ordinance. "I like to paint, usually, but I found pencils and a pen."
You swallow, feeling like you're digging yourself into a hole. "I couldn't help myself."
Fuck. You can't even register his face, let alone try to use the Force right now. You have all this nervous energy bubbling, tensing your shoulders. Why isn't he saying anything?
A shred of annoyance seeps through to your mind. This is unfair. This is ridiculous. And completely your fault. You've let Kylo Ren get to you - and now you're too scared to even stand up for yourself. This isn't like you at all.
"It's not doing you any harm, just - please - let me keep it." You finally breathe out, digging the book out from under you - glad that you sound more sure of yourself now.
Kylo walks slowly toward the couch until he's in front of you, directly. You have to look up if you want to see his face. You don't want to, so instead you stare at your knees - clutching the book in your hands like he might rip it away.
It's seconds before his finger is under your chin, guiding you to look at him. His eyes are poison, in the best way. Alcohol. Drugs. You want more but it's so bad for you. His dark hair wisps over the sides of his face, framing his bold features.
Slowly, you can sense he's reaching with his free hand toward the book. You hold it closer to your chest, determined he won't take it.
You shake your head, pulling your chin from his finger and pushing yourself away from him and into the back of the couch.
Kylo tuts, petting the side of your head in the most patronisingly painful way. He lightly slaps the side of your head, holding you hostage with his cupped hand.
"Leave me alone." You mutter, trying to move further away.
"I'd like to look." He responds, a soft purr above you, soothing all of your anger.
Oh. He's not taking it from you, he wants to see your sketches.
Oh no. He wants to see your sketches.
"It's private." You suddenly feel ashamed, looking away from his gaze, realising if he took this notebook by force he'd see himself etched into the pages.
Without a second to even acknowledge what's happening, the book slips from your grip.
"Wait!" You reach out after the book, your body spilling forward as you stumble toward it. Fuck that hurts. The sudden movement scratches at your pained and bruised body. Kylo walks backwards with the book in his hands, taunting you - you think.
"I fucking hate you." You grumble, standing up with your fists clenched at your sides.
"No, no. Remember what you've been told." Kylo paces ever so slowly around the couch with your precious book. Watch your mouth.
You scowl as he rounds the rest of the couch tantalisingly slowly and returns to the space in front of you.
"Do you think I care?" Your words are almost believable and he stops walking when you address him.
"Would you like to take that back?" Kylo moves the book between his hands, but he hasn't actually opened it yet.
"No." You stand your ground, deciding to make a move for the book. You go to grab it, but Kylo wastes no time in striking you.
The SMACK sends you stumbling to the left a little in shock, your hand cradling your bruised cheekbone. You choke out a noise, your cheek throbbing. You can't take any more of this, surely. You can't.
"Would you like to take that back?" He repeats, a little slower. This time you don't answer. You only watch as his pretty face screws in anger. His brow furrowed, he seems scarier than ever. But you don't quiver. You calm.
The burning sensation of your face spurs you on. You want to burrow through his thoughts and take them hostage, the ways he does with you.
You're reaching, in the air, through him, through everything, the energies surrounding you both, penetrating, the Force guides you through to his mind's exterior.
Anger.
Rage.
A need for control. A twisted, ache for control.
He forces you out before you get too deep, and you gasp as you drop from the intensity. The headache you're not yet used to splits through your ears to your forehead as you try to maintain a brave exterior.
"How dare you." His hand is quick to move at your jaw, holding you in place, Kylo snarls into you and you're pulling at his wrist with small yelps as he squeezes your head in his large fingers.
Your mouth is close to popping open as he grips even harder, you're worried he might actually break your jaw.
It feels like it might split in two.
"You deserve a lot worse than I can do." You spit, you'd be gritting your teeth if you could, so instead you're pushing your body away from him with all you can muster.
Suddenly your feet are struggling to touch the floor, only your toes brushing against it. "You're extremely disobedient for a padawan." He snarls. You wriggle under him. "Lets see just how rude you'd like to be when you're begging for my cock, shall we?"
You want to shake your head, scream no, but you hear only a whimper leave your lips. You don't understand why even now, as you want to be as far away from Kylo Ren as possible, your legs quiver at the suggestion of this. The mere suggestion of him shutting you up with his cock should leave you enraged. While, it does, it leaves you much more hot than anything else.
A flicker of amusement sparks behind his eyes.
"No?" His tone is so dark, testing you, Kylo brings your face towards his, holding you, your toes lightly scraping the leather of his boots as he surveys you. The weight of your body on your neck is painful, but you're sure he's using the Force to be able to keep you like this. He drops the notebook to the floor, but you barely notice.
You can't stand how close his lips are. You imagine what it'd be like if he kissed your lips right now. Or if he kissed you in other places.
Kylo's free hand traces lines down your side, trailing over your curves and tickling your skin. He teases your thighs, touching the soft skin with the pads of his fingers. Slowly, he returns your feet to the floor and allows you the slightest movement.
"I hate you." You breathe, your jaw aching, your knees wobbling. You hit at his hard chest, wishing it would make a difference. "I HATE you! Let me go!" You shout out, pushing him away. He only holds the back of your neck, pulling you back towards him. He crashes his mouth into yours, his tongue slipping over yours, every part of his huge frame cradling you. You sink into the kiss, the angry, passion fuelled kiss. Your fists scrunch at the fabric over his muscles, you want to dig your nails into his flesh and rip him apart, yet you'd much rather he keep his lips and his tongue fighting yours than anything else.
You let all your hate burn into his mouth, grabbing at his robes, his hand holding you by the neck possessively. His other fingers knead your ass, tease your side, brush over your breast.
The air picks you up, the Force pushing you through the room - flying through the air - until you crash into the wall with a groan. Kylo admires you, watching with his stalking eyes. As he reaches you, he tugs on your shorts, revealing your lacy underwear and bare thighs until they fall to the floor. His fingers brushing over you make you want him to touch you more than ever, breaths leaving your mouth in quick gasps.
Kylo groans under his breath, his hands finding your hips, grabbing them as he looks over your figure. You feel like you might orgasm just from his eyes, just from thinking about him. Or the sight of him thinking about you. You wait with wide eyes, struggling against the wall. You want to touch the floor again.
"Let me down." You breathe as Kylo traces his finger up your inner thigh. He stops when he reaches the heat between your legs. You can't help the groan that escapes you as his fingertip brushes over the fabric of your underwear.
"No." He says firmly, still teasing your slit over the fabric with the lightest touches. His lips tug at the skin on your neck, his tongue licking ever so slightly over it.
You bite your lip, trying so hard not to moan as you feel his fingers smoothing over your slit and his lips at your neck.
"Fuck! Fuck you." You groan, moving your head to the side, panting, shaking, as he teases you further. He nips at your skin for your obscenities, mumbling something about 'language'. His tongue at your neck, your collarbone, and his fingertips tracing over you, between your thighs, over your underwear. The mass of dark hair above you, shadowing such angelic features of the cruel man, the entire situation leaves you trembling. With fear, anger, excitement... you can't seem to choose which you resonate with most.
When you push on his shoulders, trying clear your head of his witchcraft, he finally drops you from the Forces grip - your feet touch the cool floor with a small thud. Your gaze is on your book, sitting on the floor where Ren had dropped it long ago. His large stature blocks your escape, his arms either side of you. Your head barely comes up to his chin, you feel like begging the stars to have made you taller. Maybe then you'd feel less powerless.
You stare daggers at him, "Move."
You're pushing on his heavy chest, but he's a paperweight to your paper.
Ren tuts, his hand brushing your hair behind your ear, "where are your manners, little padawan?" The low grumble of his words sends a sharp cold shiver along your skin.
"Maybe I left them somewhere." You snap, glaring up at his unforgiving expression and grinding your teeth with little empathy for your enamel. He's ripped you from everything you know and love, and he didn't even bat an eye as he did it. Now, you're standing beneath him, littered in bruises made by his hands. Bites from his teeth. Branding from his army.
Kylo Ren is so dark. So unfeeling. Even as you speak of the horror he has brought to you, his face is unchanging. A solid, stoic, clench of his jaw and a dark forbidden beam behind his eyes. You can't keep your gaze focused on such a man. He scares the fucking shit out of you, even though you hate to admit it. It's not acceptable to let yourself feel so... prisoner. But you are. And you're scared that it's only a matter of time before he breaks you.
"Quiet." Kylo's huge grip pulls your chin toward him, "just be good for me, and this will all be so much easier."
You practically laugh, a huff escaping your lips as you try to leave his trap once more.
It's no good, he only swiftly grabs your waist and repositions you between his chest and the cold wall. His controlling fingers stay there, holding you slightly too hard. His thumb presses into a rib with small discomfort as you try to wiggle away. His other hand stays tempting your neck, warning you to stay put with his thumb over the front of your throat and the other fingers lazily under your ear.
"I mean it." He growls a warning tone, his lips at your ear in temptation.
"I will not give you what you want from me." You lie, now breathy and hot, the feeling of his lips brushing feather-like over your ear, your neck, it's too much. You suddenly aren't as worried about the book.
"You won't?" Kylo taunts. The soft, low, bass of his speech is filling your mind with naughty thoughts. Trying to maintain your dignity, you avoid his eye contact and attempt to shut your mind off. This whole time you've probably been so obvious in your lust.
"No." Your voice wavers slightly. Horrible timing.
"Mm." Ren's lips move from your ear to your neck, skimming over the sensitive flesh. "And now?" His rough palms stroke over your hips.
Your head swarming with anger, you try desperately to focus on hating him. His hand is caressing your breast, his thumb lightly brushes over your nipple and you gasp a little in an uncontrollable response.
Oh fuck. Your lips meet greedily, his tongue tastes of everything you need, nectar, sex, liquor, lapping up his angry mouth. The roughness of the kiss only encourages you, spurs you on, as he hoists you up by your thighs to press you further into the wall.
You breathe heavily as his tongue traces lines over your neck, you can feel his erection hard against you and all logic escapes the room as you find yourself running your fingers through his hair. That luscious, raven hair you've been dying to touch.
BANG. Your hands fly against the wall, pinned above you and out of reach by Ren's Force control. You want to be mad, but he's pulling your tank top down, kissing his way across your neck, your chest, your almost bare breasts. His hands drop from your legs but the pressure of him pushing into you, his mere size, his aided Force, holds you up as his gnarled hands take fistfuls of your tank and tear at it.
Your top rips with ease, your bra with it, your nipples hardening to the cool air as Kylo palms over your bare skin possessively. You wince as his hands grip your smaller frame, still sore and the slight swollen skin of the branding sensitive to his callous touch.
Kylo palms at his erection, pulling it from his robes with ease while his craving lips possess yours - eager to hold you hostage under him. His other hand wraps around your body, your back arching as you feel the head of cock pulse against you. You struggle with your wrists, trying to free yourself from the invisible holds above you. Kylo barely gives you a second to breathe, but you're more focused on the pain of him ripping your underwear from your body.
You cry out, trying to turn away as he keeps his lips on yours relentlessly. Then, he's inside you and it's ecstasy. His length pushes through you, he cradles your body against him and you don't even care that you're hurting. Kylo groans against you as he drops his face above and beside your head, breathing erratically.
He grunts by your ear, his heavy breath mirroring yours as you gasp, trying so hopelessly to adjust to how huge he is inside of you. Your lungs can't seem to catch up, every thrust feeling bigger than the one before it, spreading you apart.
Then, he pushes in further, just as you thought he'd gone in all the way there's more. You whimper, your legs shaking around him as you try to move.
"Slow down," you gasp, your head tilted toward the ceiling as he rams into you, the crown of your skull bashing into the wall behind you as he thrusts. You moan, a whimper behind it as he continues to plough inside of you, his hands only holding you harder, his hot breath at your neck as he ignores your words.
"Kylo!" You wince, another thrust ripping into you. He must've been holding back before, because even though it was big then... this was different. "Ky-"
His hand grips over your face to cover your mouth, making breathing so much harder, you make mumbling noises under his hand and he straightens his neck to look down on you.
With one hand over your mouth, the other gripping your ass, his eyes turn black and your blood turns cold at the sight of him.
"What did you just call me?" Disheveled and angry, he slams you over his cock with little remorse, his fingers holding your face so hard you might cry.
You try to shake your head, his hand stopping most sounds other than your whines from escaping. He moves his hand, allowing you to speak but still holding your face against its will as he teases you with his dick.
"Commander," you wince, his cock an endless attack between your legs, your walls stretched to the edge. "Please, can you-"
"No." Kylo grunts, his knuckles clenching despite your face between them. "No. This..." He slams through you, his length so deep inside of you that you whimper, "is what happens when you don't do as I say."
Does he mean when you called him Kylo? Or came into his room? Or in general? You don't have time to wonder before -
CRACK. The wall gives in slightly, your head is pushed back into the shallow crater behind it from the strength of his hold on you. You moan as a tightening sensation of pure pleasure suddenly spreads through you, your core building as Kylo uses the Force to caress your clit.
"l can do whatever I want." You gasp, trying to ignore how amazing he can make you feel. You watch Kylo's eyes shadow over. Your defiance is short lived but enough to drive his rage. Your clit is neglected as he continues to drive his cock into your cervix, the pain feels good but he's too big for you and definitely too much without him touching you to aid it.
"Wait, please," You cry, pulling on your arms restraints and throwing your head back as you take it over, and over, and over.
To your surprise, Kylo slows to a stop, his cock still buried inside of you, his jaw clenched. Your arms release from above you and you grab a hold of his cloaks instantly, scared he might drop you to the floor at any second.
"What?" He snaps, his hand has loosened on your face now and you can finally move your jaw properly. But you can't think straight with him inside of you, being held hostage between him and the wall.
You sputter - trying to think of what to say. You want this. You want this so bad. But this 'lesson' he's trying to teach you might just be too much.
Kylo pulls out of you, leaving you empty as he takes a hold of your hips to lower you to the ground. You watch fearfully as he tucks his hard penis away, and walks away without a word. Your lip trembles slightly as he approaches the passageway.
"Follow." You flinch at his gruff voice ordering you to do the exact thing he has just punished you for.
"But-"
"Are you questioning me?" Ren turns back, his impatience filling the room. Your lungs contract, and you try to cover yourself as you stand naked. You shake your head, hugging your chest, knowing you'd be an idiot to disagree with him right now.
You pad behind him, a small shadow as he leads the way into his room.
Kylo hovers by his bed, he begins to strip his cloak, his outer wear, as he talks.
"Are you allowed in here?" He asks, a steady tone that helps you to feel safe, yet still your heart patters with anxiety. You hug yourself tighter, feeling awfully on show stood in the middle of his room.
"No." Your voice sounds so small compared to his.
"Then why are you here?" He asks calmly, his clothes down to his undershirt now. You panic, your heart leaping with fear. Was that a test, were you not supposed to follow?
"Because you told me to," you stammer, fighting your instincts to back away.
"Precisely." His mouth pursed into a straight line, he approaches you. His dick, still hard, is ridiculously impressive pressing against the strain of his clothes. Your lips are parted as you grip your own arms in apprehension.
Kylo stops, inches from you, to raise a finger. He trails it across your cheek.
Leaning in, Kylo's low grumble sends goosebumps over your flesh, "I ordered you, and you obeyed."
You gulp, not wanting to answer. He hovers above you, the back of his finger teasing over the soft skin of your jaw as his lips, near your forehead, speak quietly to you.
"You do so good when you're scared." He places one, soft, kiss on your forehead. You're completely choked up in confusion and panic.
"Why is it, that you think you can disobey me otherwise?" Kylo's hooked finger trails down to your chin, before pointing it up and looking you in the eye with that cold stare.
You just breathe, not knowing what to say, not understanding what he wants you to admit, or what he wants to hear... you just look up at him with wide eyes, lips parted, wishing you had clothes on.
He speaks your name and you jump slightly, knowing this means you need to respond.
You take a breath. "Earlier, um." You take another breath. He's fucking huge. He's huge. You'd noticed before, of course, but even though you'd had your bravery earlier... now, it'd run off. Now, you were just the scared girl that existed before LJ. You liked that girl. To be honest, you'd preferred that girl. your boldness only came from that girl, the need to survive from that girl created your attitude, not the resistance.
"I thought things might be different." You finally push the words from your mouth.
A pitiful laugh, air, escapes Kylo. "Oh." The bass of his tone makes you all the more self conscious.
"Fuck you, don't laugh at me." Anger rises to your head, heat in your cheeks as you look up at him. Then - he's had enough of your defiance.
Something, inside of you senses that familiar prick of danger. Black liquid pools in your mind, dripping down into your limbs and giving you strength.
You swipe your arm up through the air to block his hand, and just narrowly make it. His hand tenses against your forearm that caught it, before he slowly takes your arm and moves it away from your face to look at you.
"Can you see, how the anger gives you power?" His voice rumbles through you. It does. The feeling is indescribable. Rage opens doors that you hadn't noticed before. It's like a reusable fuel that poisons you. You frown. You can't see it positively, you can't let yourself listen to his excuses.
"Shh," Kylos hands cup your face, his lips in your hair, his breath on your scalp. You hunch your shoulders up, cowering underneath him. "Use it."
"Use it like you just did, and you could have everything." Kylo mumbles above you. His hands are so warm and embracing over your jaw, so delicate. It's impossible not to feel... well, safe. He's a wall around you. Powerful. And now he's treating you like delicate china. Your throat constricts as you decide what to say.
"Is that what you do?"
•
A/N
i've got big plans mwahaha
sorry if theres any mistakes i only looked it over a few times but i wanted to just get it out incase someone wanted to read it