<3
~*~
Numb... that's what I feel. I'm so fucking numb. It's like I'm not living anymore. I'm just... here. I'm not having fun like I was, I'm not happy like I was before that asshole came and ruined it, I don't even feel like talking to Kylo out of all fucking people.
During that night I asked him to fuck me I cried. I sobbed in the middle of sex and it was the most embarrassing thing in the world. He didn't seem to care though, he just held me close and our bodies rocked together in a soft harmony.
He definitely knows what to do when it comes to calming down a person.
I sigh and I flip over on my side. After telling Kylo about what happened I feel slightly lighter, but it doesn't get rid of the fear that I hold for my father.
He is the epiphany of my fears and nightmares, he is the nightmare that is man.
I blow air out of my mouth harshly and I sit back up, staring at the wall, once again lost in my thoughts. I hear a soft knock on my door and I yell out for them to come in.
"Hello miss. I was wondering if you were hungry...?" Julian asked softly and I just smiled as good as I could at him and nodded my head. I can't let this man ruin my progress.
"Here. It's chocolate pancakes, bacon, and eggs." He smiled and I hummed.
"Sounds good." I croak. My voice isn't as good as it could be since I haven't really spoken except for when I told Kylo what had happened.
"How are you feeling?" He asked softly as he slowly lowered himself down on my bed like I was a scared animal who would run away at the slightest movement.
"I'm...okay. I'm okay." That was a lie and even the dumbest person in the world would see that.
"Liar." He laughed and I shrugged my shoulders.
"Yeah, probably." I smirked and he grinned at me.
"There she is." He said quietly.
"You don't even know me that well Julian. How do you know my personality?" I quirked and he just shrugged his shoulders and looked away.
"You can learn a lot about someone when you spend enough time watching them." He said without a conscience thought. Then what he said reached his own ears and he turned red instantly.
"When you watch them enough, huh?" I teased and he immediately put his face into his hands.
"W- what I meant- meant to say was like... I- well-." He huffed and I just laughed at him. This is so cute.
"Awww, it's okay. I appreciate you looking out for me." I winked at him and he shot up off the bed and began for the door.
"Call me if you need me. I'll be outside the door." He spoke like he was going to die if he didn't leave. He opened the door, walked out, and closed it behind him.
Cute. I think I might be okay if this keeps up.
~*~
"Clara... Clara..." I hear someone's voice and I can feel myself being shaken awake. I jump up and whoever it was jumped backwards.
"Oh shit. I'm sorry. Are you okay?" I think it was Julian who asked me. I groaned and nodded my head. I slowly sat up before going straight back down when my head started hurting like a bitch.
"Owww." I whine and Julian looks at me in panic.
"Oh my! Are you okay!?" He panicked and I just closed my eyes.
"I- I'm okay I just need some...Tylenol. Please?" I peek at him and he nodded his head before running off, like I was a queen and he was the servant, tending to my every need.
About ten minutes later Julian comes running back in and I don't peek at him this time because my head is literally pounding and I feel like I'm going to die. I hear a glass cup get placed down on the nightstand and a pill bottle.
"Your Tylenol, ma'am." I gritted my teeth and I sat up as slow as I possibly could. I get up into a sitting position and I have to stop in order to catch my breath.
"Thank you Julian." I whimper and Julian hands me the pill and the cup of water, I put the pill in my mouth and I swallow it down with some water.
"Of course ma'am." He takes the cup from my hand and I could hear the scraping of the legs of an chair on the ground. The sound suddenly stops and the chair creaks under Julian's weight.
"The medicine should kick in soon." Julian spoke softly before clearing his throat.
"Thank you Julian...where is Kylo?" I scrunched my face up in confusion and I couldn't see Julian's face, obviously since my eyes were closed, but I did hear a deep breath. He's about to lie to me.
"I don't know where he is ma'am. He left with the boss a while ago and that's the last I heard from them." He tried so hard to sound convincing, but I know better than that.
"Don't lie to me Julian." I growled out and I could hear him stiffen in the chair.
"I- I am not miss." He took a deep breath and man is he really bad at this.
"Yes you are Julian. I'm a highly trained assassin. You think I don't know when someone is lying to me?" I finally opened my eyes and it didn't hurt as much as before, so that's a plus. Julian on the other hand looked very tense and wasn't even looking at me, I smiled and cleared my throat, he looked at me shocked that my eyes were open and he immediately tried to loosen up.
"Right..." He spoke softly.
"So, where are they Julian." I sang and he looked really scared, like if he told me he would die by the hands of Kylo and the boss, but if he didn't tell me he would die by my hands. Poor boy is stressed out.
"T- they... I- ummm..." He started fidgeting with his fingers and I sighed in annoyance.
"Tell me Julian!" I yelled and he immediately barked out the words.
"They went looking for your dad miss!" He yelled out as he curled up like I was going to throw something at him. My eyes widened in realization and I grit my teeth together.
"THEY WENT TO DO WHAT!?" I yelled out and I jumped out of bed, even though my body protested this action. I scrambled over to my suit case and I grabbed my 'assassin outfit' before running into the bathroom, but before I could shut the door, Julian stopped the door with his hand.
"Think about this, miss." He pleaded with me and I scoffed.
"I did. Now move Julian." I gritted out and Julian sighed before letting the door go. I closed it and I began getting undressed as fast as I could.
"Those stupid fucking idiots."
~*~
Kylo's POV:
"Sir. The scouts told us he is in this area." I spoke sharply and Fisher looked over at the paper and his breathing got harsh.
"Is something the matter?" I was so confused.
"That's Smith's area. Shit!" He yelled out at the end before kicking the grass. Then he turned back around and grabbed my shirt, pulling me close to him.
"If we go onto his land... it'll be war. Do you hear me?" His face told me that there was no use in arguing with him, but I couldn't just let her father move on like this! That man needs to die.
"But sir-!" I got cut off by the screeching of tires behind me, I look back and Clara gets off of a motorcycle, and it's safe to say she looks mad.
"Shit." Both me and Fisher muttered underneath our breaths.
"ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY!?" She came over to us and she slapped me straight across the face and she poked Fisher's chest.
"You guys are fucking idiots for going for the head of a highly trained assassin!" Damn my face burns. She looked Fisher straight into his eyes and I could see the hurt and anger in them.
"You will not carry on with this, do you hear me!? I don't care who you are. You will not go after mine." She growled and Fisher visibly shook in fear. A mafia boss shook in fucking fear from this small girl. Not saying she isn't dangerous, she most definitely is... it's just funny.
I snicker a little bit and Fisher glared at me from the side. And it was all fun and games until Clara heard me laugh and then it was over for me.
"Oh this is funny!? Damn why can't she go back to feeling bad. I can feel the tears threatening to fall. I'm so scared of this women when she's mad. You see some things when you grow up with someone.
"No- no. I'm sorry. It's not funny. I- I swear." I stuttered and Fisher smirked towards me and I pleaded with him with my eyes and he just shrugged his shoulders. Every man for himself I guess...
"I could've swore I heard a snicker. Right Fisher?" She looked over to him and he looked like a deer in highlights. He quickly nodded his head to avoid his ass getting beat. Asshole!
"W- well. I- I- umm." I don't even know what to say to plead my case. Pray for me guys. Please.
"Come here." She gripped my ear and pulled me over to the other side of the wall, she looked around to make sure no one was there before smashing her lips onto mine.
"I appreciate this so much, but no. You can't do this Kylo. You'll die before he does. Do you hear me!?" She whispered sharply after she let my lips go.
"But Clara-." She cut me off quickly.
"No. No Kylo. No. Please..." She pleaded with me and I couldn't help but crack immediately under her gaze. I took a deep breath before answering her.
"Fine. But he needs to go down Clara. He's ruining your life." My voice was scratchy and she frowned.
"I know..." She muttered and then she placed her head on my chest.
"Together. Okay? We'll take him down together." She spoke after a long time of zero conversation. She lifted her head to look me in my eyes, she pulled out her pinky finger and I almost busted out laughing from the irony.
"Together." I wrapped my pinky finger around hers and she smiled.
Together.
~*~
Sorry it took so long to get this out!! I had a hard week, but it's going so much better now. I hope everyone feels good! This book is going to be ending soon, so let's hope and pray that Kylo and Clara confess to each other by then!
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