I woke up in my alpha's arms in the morning. We had spent yesterday at home together, watching movies, cuddling, working and talking about everything and nothing.
Today was the day. I had to go back to the hospital in order to start the first cycle of my treatment.
I didn't want to go, I felt the best here. I felt home here as nowhere else.
Louis' hand slowly rubbed on my side as he began to wake up as well.
"Good morning." he whispered, pressing a peck to my clothed back.
"Is it?" I questioned a bit caustically.
"What's wrong?" he asked, certainly confused by my tone.
"What do you think?" I said back, getting up from the bed swiftly, maybe too swiftly. My head didn't appreciate it at all.
I went into the bathroom and locked the door behind myself.
When I started to think about how bad I reacted I began to tear up.
I leaned against the sink, staring on my rebound in the mirror.
More tears kept escaping my eyes while new kept forming.
I didn't want to feel anything at that moment. My head was so cluttered and full of thoughts, I hated it. I wanted them all gone.
I didn't even realize I was screaming at first, not until I could hear how hard was Louis trying to get inside.
"Harry!" he kept trying the doorknob over and over again.
"Gone, I want it gone!" I cried, not moving a single limb.
When I was finally in the state of mind that I was able to do something, I stepped to the door, unlocking them.
I still couldn't help myself but cry though.
I didn't want it. I wanted peace, not this. I wanted to feel normal and free and-
I sobbed as Louis got in, taking in the appearance of my crying self.
Third person's POV
"I want t-them gone! Make it stop! M-make it!" the younger boy sobbed as his whole body kept shaking.
"Shh." Louis stepped closer carefully, deciding to wrap his arms around the boy. Harry didn't protest nor did he push him away.
"My head- it's so loud, so much!" he sobbed once again.
"Shh." Louis kept comforting him.
"It will get better eventually, I promise you." Louis whispered while he stared blankly on the wall made of tiles, which he currently had the view on.
"I hate it!" Harry seemed like he will start it all over again, but Louis didn't want that.
"Shh." he swallowed harshly as he thought of a way how to stimulate the boy's mind.
"What date is today?" he asked.
"What?" Harry sniffled.
"Today's date."
"Today... today is- it's-"
"I don't remember." Harry calmed down a bit, actually trying to think of the answer.
He buried his head into Louis' neck next, managing to calm down after sniffing his scent.
The boy's body was definitely more relaxed. The only question that remained was 'how was his head?'.
•••
The boy was seated on the couch while Louis was collecting his things around the flat. Harry kept looking up at him with doe eyes, not uttering a single word.
"Pajamas, t-shirts, underwear... socks!" he left Harry in the living room alone once again. The green eyed boy looked to his side, taking a look at his shark plushie that was resting on the other side of the couch, facing him.
"Socks, slippers..." Louis came back with those things, putting them down on the pile.
"What else do you need?" he looked at the curly boy, asking him carefully.
Harry stared in front of him blankly, letting the tears spill from his eyes once again today.
"Oh." Louis made his way towards the boy, imprisoning him in a tight hug.
"Let me stay home." the boy pleaded him quietly.
"Harry, you know I can't." Louis breathed in sharply, never letting go of him.
"I d-don't want to be ill."
"Nobody wants that, love." Louis was on the verge of tears himself by that time.
"Will I feel better after chemotherapy?" Harry pulled away finally, looking down into his lap shyly.
"You-" Louis knew exactly how Harry will feel. He knew he will feel weak and mentally it won't be that great either.
"Once you are done with the treatment, you will feel better." he chose to say in the end.
"O-okay." he sobbed while nodding.
Louis stared at him with pained look in his eyes. He couldn't help himself, but feel bad for Harry.
"I want my plushie with me." he blurted out.
"Of course, I will add it into your bag." Louis reached out to caress Harry's hair before he got up.
Louis packed all the things he thought Harry would like to have there, retreating to the kitchen to add a cartoon of juice into his bag since he knew that Harry asked him to bring some last time.
He also prepared some food for him since it was something past 4pm.
He made Harry a toast with ham and cheese, adding some cherry tomatoes and tangerine.
He brought him the plate with food into the living room as any other time.
"Made you some snack or dinner, I don't know." he sat down next to him, giving him the plate.
"I am not hungry." Harry rasped back.
Louis looked at the plate with disappointed expression.
"Oh well..." he put it on the conference table, hoping the boy will change his mind.
"I will take your things into the car now." Louis got up with a sigh, leaving the boy on his own. Harry didn't respond to him, which made Louis feel even worse.
•••
They were already in the car and Harry has been quiet for hours. Louis wanted to make him comfortable, he really did, but Harry wasn't making it exactly easier for him...
When Louis parked in the parking lot in front of the oncology ward, it was as if Harry just woke up.
"Can you stay for a bit?" the boy asked, turning towards the older one.
"Sure I can." Louis said in response, staring at Harry with furrowed brows.
He seemed like he was about to speak up, but instead he just shook his head.
"Okay, let's go, shall we?" Louis got out, jogging towards the trunk of his car.
•••
When they stepped into the elevator Harry began to feel uncomfortable. He reached out to grab Louis' hand for support.
Louis let the boy entwine their fingers without hesitation. He could smell how nervous he was and he just wanted to make him feel, at least, tiny bit better.
He soothed him, running his thumb across his knuckles.
When they arrived to the right floor, they stepped out of the elevator hand in hand, making their way towards the reception.
When Harry saw his favourite nurse he relaxed a little.
"Hello Harry, Mr. Tomlinson." she greeted them.
"Hello Larissa." the boy said back in quiet voice.
"Your room is the same one, we managed to keep it that way." she gave Harry a smile.
"Dr. Graves will come around later."
"Alright." Harry nodded before he signed some papers and retreated to his room together with his alpha.
Louis let go of Harry's hand as soon as they walked through the door, putting Harry's bag down.
"Do you want me to give you the sweatpants and tshirt?" Louis asked.
"Okay." the boy shrugged.
Once Louis found it, he handed it to him and let him change.
After that the boy sat down on the sickbed while staring in front of him.
Louis unpacked the things that weren't clothes, putting them on the table.
When he went through the bag to check if he took everything out, his eyes lingered over Harry's beloved shark plushie.
He went to Harry's bed, sitting carefully at the edge of it.
Harry's eyes never lingered over Louis or the plushie in his hands, instead he kept staring on the wall in front of him with empty expression plastered on his face.
Louis began to move the shark towards Harry, trying to simulate swimming. When he was near the boy he let the shark's rostrum collide with the skin on his arm.
"He misses you." Louis whispered. He felt like he was talking about himself as well. He missed Harry too...
Louis tried for some more time, but decided to give up eventually, when he saw that Harry didn't even blink.
"Okay." he breathed out, resting the shark down on the bed.
"Miss him- too." Harry's voice was small and raspy.
He finally tilted his head to the side, reaching out with his hand to take the plushie.
When he did he looked up into Louis' bothered face.
He gave Harry a weak little smile, but it disappeared as quickly as it appeared.
"He says, he will miss you." Harry said, his eyes becoming glassy.
"I will be visiting him, hm?" Louis' own eyes were shining with tears by that time.
"He says he- he says he loves you." Harry breathed out, making Louis' heart flutter.
Louis didn't know if they were still speaking in analogies or not.
"I love him too." he said in the end, not knowing what he even said and most importantly, to who.
——————————————————————————
A/N
Hello everyone!
I hope you enjoyed the new chapter.
Today was a long day...
I hope you are doing well.
Don't forget to hydrate and do something nice for yourself!
You are amazing and you deserve the world, don't ever doubt that.
Sending warm hugs and kisses<33