When I woke up, Roman had already removed his mask, apologizing relentlessly. Bondy had his hand on his shoulder telling him not to worry and asked if he wanted tea to which he said yes. The fact that Roman was apologizing was a good sign; it's a sign that he's reacting well to going under.
"You're awake," Roman observed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake up—"
"It's fine. Don't worry about it," I said, removing my mask and taking off my probes. Roman did the same and I stood up. He was about to stand but I stopped him. "Don't stand up just yet. I need to make sure you're fine."
I walked over to the computer and pulled up Roman's data. His heart rate was high but I could see it slowly going down. His pattern was similar to that of Florence's but Florence was more quiet when she woke up, granted she had a more drastic way of waking up. Everyone's different. I saved the experiment and closed out of the program. I'll analyze the data later. I meant to clean up after Roman leaves but Larry stood up to help me clean up.
"Thank you," I said to Larry and I made my way back to Roman. "How are you feeling? Do you have any difficulty breathing?" My eyes watched him carefully looking for any signs he wasn't okay. He seemed to be doing fine at quick glance but I needed confirmation from him.
"Yeah, I'm fine," he answered, though he was visibly distraught. "You told me not to think about him and I didn't listen...."
"Don't beat yourself up. It's harder than you think," I reassured him. "We're learning which is good. You woke up from thinking about him which is one of the methods to wake up, remember? There will be plenty of opportunities to practice waking up, don't worry. And you're adept at recognizing you're in a dream."
Bondy came back, handing him a mug and Roman thanked him, blowing on the tea and testing the temperature before drinking it. I tried to understand why Roman was so distraught when he did well. My guess was that he's a go-getter. It has gotten him far in life and he takes failure personally. He must be a sensitive person on the inside.
Look at me trying to read people's personalities when I'm exactly the same as him. His breathing slowed and he wasn't shaking as much. And most importantly, he stopped apologizing. He was thinking about what I said, no doubt going over the dream. Despite this failure, he's going to learn from his mistakes and come back even stronger. He's resilient and failure motivates him.
That's when I realized another aspect of this study I didn't anticipate. I was going to learn a lot about Roman and Florence. This is different from being their friend. As friends, they can control what I see but in dreams, there is no control. I get to see their insecurities and how they truly feel about someone or something.
I don't know who Charles is but he doesn't give off good vibes. Roman is wary of him and I'd be the same based on what I saw. The thing is that Charles looks harmless but it seems like he's questioning Roman's authority. Charles is a threat to Roman. The ideas were flowing and I wanted nothing more than to usher Roman out so I could write my thoughts down but I need to make sure he's okay before letting him go. Bondy hung around as we both waited for Roman to finish his tea. He was visibly starting to relax. His shoulders were no longer stiff.
"Can I talk to you real quick?" I asked Bondy. Bondy nodded his head and we stepped off to the side. "Can you do me a favor?"
"Sure thing," he replied.
"Can you watch him and make sure he's all set before leaving? I'm afraid I'm gonna forget the dream."
Bondy nodded his head, understanding what I was getting at. Even though my chances of forgetting this dream so quickly was low, I was more afraid of forgetting my analysis of the dream. The nature of his dream was intriguing. It's very different from everyone else's dreams and I'm sure Bondy would enjoy reading about his dreams. I walked over to my desk and logged in, opening a blank template and began typing. I could hear Bondy talking to Roman, no doubt telling him the switch in plans.
"I'll take over from here. Van is busy analyzing your dream," he told him. "That's all we had planned for today. I just want to make sure you're okay before letting you go. And if you're still interested, we'll see you next week."
.
.
Thursday
I didn't sleep much last night because I was still thinking about Roman's dream and the faceless man. It's not often that I come across dreams of this nature so I found it intriguing, researching the meaning behind these kinds of dreams. Analyzing people's dreams is equally as interesting as going under and that's why I love this job so much.
There were many times I questioned my decision to move to America. There was a really good program that I was interested in which I did for a year. That was where I met Bondy who trained me briefly and then submitted his two week's notice. We still met after he left and we'd have long, drawn out conversations about dreams and whether technology could help us visualize it. It was then that he asked if I was looking for work saying that what we were talking about wasn't a dream but an actual product he was working on at his new job. I've not looked back ever since.
But a part of me wonders what life would've been like if I moved to Portugal with Clara. I'd like to think she'd still be here and that we'd be married with a family by now. If things worked out and we still loved each other after being separated for so long, I did intend to marry her. My mind went back to the day I made the pact with her.
"Tell ya what...if we're 27 and still single, we should just marry each other."
The way she looked at me wondering if I meant what I said. I'm a man of my word but she never made it to 27.
It wasn't until 2 AM that I realized what time it was. It was too late to shower so I had to shower in the morning instead. After cleaning myself, I grabbed a towel and dried my hair and body, wrapping the towel around my waist and stepping out. The mirror was fogged up from the hot shower so I wiped the mirror clean so I could see. I lathered shaving cream on my face and began shaving the stubble that had grown. I'm fifteen minutes late but I don't think anyone minds.
Bondy and Larry were already at work by the time I arrived and no one questioned why I was late. I put my stuff away and went over to the kitchen to make tea and saw that the water was still hot. There was barely enough water but I made it work. I don't mind drinking concentrated tea as I'll need all the help I can get to stay awake.
"So do ya think he's coming back?" I asked Bondy when I passed him. Bondy grinned because we both knew he was coming back. He wasn't as shaken up like Florence was.
"Do you wanna bet?" Bondy teased.
"Why don't I take the stance that he's coming back this time? I could use a trip back home." Bondy chuckled at my answer and shook his head.
"Nah, I've got to agree with you on that. He's deffo coming back. He likes the challenge."
"Guess I'm not going home 'til Crimbo then," I said, pouting and Bondy laughed.
I turned on my laptop and began rereading the report I had written yesterday. Bondy and Larry started heading home around 5 PM last night and I told them I was going to leave soon but didn't actually leave until 6:30 PM. Sometimes when you're in the zone, you don't want to stop. I grabbed takeaway at the Thai restaurant across the street and brought it home so I could—you guessed it—continue working at home. It wasn't actually work but a research rabbit hole I went down. I added some minor things to the report and saved it in the shared drive so everyone could read it at their leisure. We're not required to read the reports but we do anyway because it's interesting stuff. It wasn't until I got up to make my second round of tea that Larry asked me how it went.
"How was it going under with Roman? What did he dream about?" he asked, joining me in the kitchen. I could see Bondy looking up, listening in on our conversation.
"He's quick to learn but he woke up partway through the dream. It's not a big deal but he's taking it personally," I said, turning on the tap to fill up the kettle. "Do ya want tea as well?" Larry nodded his head and I filled the kettle until it was full and flicked the switch to boil the water. While I waited for it to boil, I rinsed my mug.
"He dreamt about work. His company has an open floor plan with individual offices on the edge," I continued. "I walked along the offices until I found his and knocked on the door. I was interrupting his meeting with someone he used to work with and he immediately recognized me saying I don't work here. He knew right away he was dreaming and pointed out the fact that the woman he was meeting with no longer worked for the company and shouldn't be there. He was doing great so I had him find more signs he was dreaming and that's where we got into some trouble. He noticed the people in the office didn't have faces." Bondy smiled, no doubt remembering the concept he spent a month writing about.
"Faceless people," Bondy explained, rubbing his chin. "What was the context of his dream?"
"I remembered that concept and asked him questions, curious if you got it right and you're bang on," I told him. "I asked if he recognized the person and he was like 'how can I? He doesn't even have a face!' And then he was like 'oh, I do recognize him.' The faceless man is someone who works under him and when I asked what he thought about him, he said 'I'm undecided about him.'" Bondy was obviously pleased with himself having got it right.
"Dreams about faceless people are fascinating. We can't make a face for someone we've never met but if someone you know doesn't have a face, it means you're unsure of your feelings for that person. I don't mean that in a romantic way but in a 'I'm not sure I trust you' kind of way. He probably feels threatened by that person. Did he explain his reasoning for being undecided?"
"No he did not and I'm not sure I can get him to talk about it."
"Did you finish writing his report?" Bondy asked and I nodded my head. "I'll have a gander at it and see if it adds anything to my paper. You said Roman's high up in the company. My guess is that he's afraid this person will take his place."
"I highly doubt that. Roman said he's young and smart but not very motivated."
"Well then...he probably knows Roman's weaknesses and Roman's afraid it'll be used against him. It's all speculation though. We won't know unless we ask him but it's interesting to think about. Larry and I don't have those dreams and my guess is Florence doesn't either."