Chapter 11
Ariel's POV
"Hello?" Cam picks up the phone after a few rings, and his voice sounds rushed. "I'm sorry that I just up and called out the blue, but I need to talk to you. Are you busy?" I ask. "No, not at all. Not for my baby sister." he says and I smile when he calls me that. It used to bother me so much but now that I know he only does it to bother me, it makes me smile. "I'll meet you at Pier View Coffee in fifteen?" he says and I agree before hanging up.
I grab my coat and bag and head out quietly to my car. No need to disrupt Zoey. I'll be fine. I drive to the coffee shop that Cam and I used to go to all the time when we needed to talk and park in the back. Cam is sitting at a seat in the front, sipping a steaming cup of what I assume to be hot chocolate. He never liked coffee that much.
Its dark outside, the streetlamps and neon signs giving off a warm glow. A breeze blows down the street, and it's neither cold nor warm. I join Cam at the table and a waitress comes over. "Tea please." I say quietly and I shove my hands in my pockets. "Are you cold?" Cam asks and I shake my head. I don't know what I am right now. I have to hold it together in front of him, I can't cry right now.
"So what's up?" he asks, taking a sip from his mug. "Luke." I say. I almost can't look at Cameron, knowing that if I do all I'll see is pity and possibly anger. "Ariel, why are you still letting this guy get to you?" he breathes out, sounding exasperated. "You don't think this is taking a toll on me, too?" I say, irritated. "I'm not saying it's taking a toll on me." he replies. "Yeah, well you're giant sigh implies otherwise. If you don't want me talking to you about my problems all you have to do is tell me. I won't bother you anymore." I say, and I start to stand up but he grabs my arm. "Ariel, that's not what I meant. Please stay. I want to help you." he says quietly.
I relax back in my seat as the waitress brings over a cup of hot water with a tea bag inside of it and a little jar of honey. "Thanks." I say, and dip the bag in a few times before adjusting my position in the cold metal chair. "Tell me what's wrong. I honestly want to help." he says. And so I tell him. I tell him about the speech Luke gave me on my doorstep and about the fair and the Ferris Wheel. I tell him about the café and his new girlfriend (if that's what you could even call her), and I tell him about Derek and how they knew each other.
When I'm finished, I sit back and breathe in the night air, taking a sip of my still hot tea. The warmth seeps over my tongue and down my throat and I feel relaxed here with my brother in the quiet buzz of the coffee shop and the streets of California. "You need to make up your mind." he finally says after a while.
"What?" I ask. "You need to make up your mind. Are you done with him? Or are you ready to forgive him?" he asks. "I'm not ready to forgive him. I don't know if I ever will be." I say. "Okay...but are you done with him? Are you ready to say goodbye to him?" Cam asks and I feel tears well up in my eyes. Because the answer to that is no, too. I'm nowhere near ready to say goodbye to him and what we have.
What you had, Ariel. Past tense.
"Hey, Ariel, it's okay." he says and reaches across the table. He laces his fingers with mine and squeezes, forcing me to look up at him. I didn't even realize I'd started staring at the ground again. A tear slips down my cheek and I feel embarrassed and sad and hurt and angry all at the same time. "It's okay to not know, but for your sake I think you need to figure it out." Cam adds and I nod my head. "This isn't good for you, whatever this is. Whether it's being with Luke or being without him or him in general. He's hurting you one way or another, and I can't stand to see you so upset anymore. You're my baby sister, I'm supposed to protect you from the mean boys on the playground and pick you up when you're sad. I'm supposed to protect you." he says and I can see that he's going to start crying too so I wipe away my tears and squeeze his hand.
"But you can't always be there to protect me anymore, Cam. I'm all grown up now." I say and he laughs. "I know, I know you're all 'grown up' in whatever sense those words actually mean. You've been through so much more than someone your age, or anyone for that matter, should have to go through. And you're here and I know that you don't need me to protect you anymore. I still see the naïve, seventeen year old girl who fell in love with a boy that would never be good enough for her when I look at you. But I also see a strong independent woman who has been through a tragedy and has still come out okay on the other side. I know you can figure this out. I know you can answer all your questions and doubts and still be okay." he says and I smile. He stands up and pulls me into such a tight hug that I can barely breathe.
"You're going to be an amazing dad, Cam. I can tell. Piper and that baby are so lucky to have you." I whisper to him and he squeezes me tighter. "Thanks, sis." he says. We sit back down and talk for a little while, sipping our tea and hot chocolate late into the evening. At half past ten, I tell Cam I have to go before Zoey gets worried, so I pack up my things and leave a five dollar bill tucked under my tea cup for the waitress. Cam gives me a hug and kiss goodbye and then walks the opposite way to his car.
When I get into mine, I take a second before starting it up. It felt so good to talk to Cam about all that stuff, and to hear that he still feels like he needs to protect me. I am far from invincible, but with him and Zoey and my family by my side, I feel stronger than I ever would if I were alone. I breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth, like I do when I get nervous, but this time it's because I feel refreshed and weightless. It's because I feel free.
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Not for long, apparently. After I pull out of the café parking lot, I have so much on my mind I don't know where I'm going. Before I know it, I'm in front of Luke's apartment. The lights are off, which probably means he's sleeping, so I can't go in. Not that I wanted to, anyways. That would be so weird to just show up at his place after the four of us went to the fair together.
I watch his front door, absentmindedly hoping for some kind of movement. This is so stalkerish of me. I pull out of the apartment complex and park across the street, where I lean my head back against the headrest. What am I doing? Why am I here? I'm so tired. I can't just walk up to his front door and knock and ask to come in. Like I said, weird. I shouldn't even be here right now. But maybe if I just close my eyes for a few seconds I can figure out what I want to do...
When I open my eyes again, it's light out. Sun is streaming in through my car windows, but the inside of the car is freezing. Shit. I never went home last night? Crap. I pull out my phone and see that it's dead. Great, I can't even call Zoey and tell her where I am. I sit up quickly, getting a headrush, and look around me. I'd been laying down across the front seats, and I had a huge ache in my side from where I'd been pressed against the middle console.
My head hurts and I'm sure my hair is a mess, so I don't even bother looking in the rearview mirror. I sit in my car, not knowing what to do with myself, until I see movement across the street. Luke's front door opens and stays open for a little, but no one comes outside.
I slink down in my seat and peek my head over the window, hoping whoever comes out of the house doesn't recognize my car. This was so creepy of me. I can't believe I fell asleep in front of his house. What am I turning into?
Right then, a figure steps out and I almost don't recognize her. It's Aimee, from last night, wearing the same clothes she'd been wearing at the fair. Her hair was up in a messy bun, the curls completely gone, and her face was tired looking and void of makeup. Oh my God.
Luke walks out after her, in only sweatpants. They're low on his waist and his hair is messy and I feel my heart sink into my stomach. He walks her to her car which is parked next to his, and she leans against the driver's side window. He smiles at her, like he used to smile at me, and leans down to kiss her. I have to look away. This isn't mine to watch. He isn't mine to be jealous over anymore. I have to go.
I start up my car, and then instantly regret it. I look over at the two of them, now separated and both looking at my car. Crap! I hit the gas pedal and speed away quickly, hoping he didn't recognize me or my vehicle. I'm such an idiot. I hate myself right now. I'm being absolutely ridiculous.
When I finally get home, Zoey's car is parked in her space. But mine is empty. Obviously. I get out and try to quietly sneak into the house, which doesn't work because Zoey is perched on one of the barstools by the kitchen counter. She turns when she hears the door creak, and I'm frozen in my tracks.
"Jesus, Ariel! There you are!" she yells and jumps off the seat to run over to me. She pulls me into an embrace and I close my eyes and hug her back. "Are you okay? I woke up early this morning and you're bed wasn't even slept in. Where have you been?" she asks worriedly. "I accidentally drove to Luke's house last night. I didn't go in or anything, but I fell asleep in my car across the street and woke up this morning still there. My phone must have died, because I was going to call you when I woke up." I explain.
"He slept with her, Zoey. He slept with Aimee." I tell her. "Aimee?" she asks and I have to explain to her that she's the girl he brought to the fair last night and the one that was in the café that day. "Ohhh, Aimee. Well if it's any consolation I think she sounds awful." Zoey says. "I haven't told you anything about her yet?" I raise an eyebrow but she brushes it off. "Doesn't matter. I don't like her already." Zoey replies and I smile. God I love her.
"I'm gonna shower. I feel gross." I tell her and she lets me go upstairs. "I have to head out, I have a photography gig today." she yells up the stairs. I call back out to her through the closed bathroom door, "Where is it?"
"It's a wedding! My aunt is getting married and she said she wanted me to take the pictures." she yells back to me. "Hey, do you wanna come and be my assistant?" she adds and I open the bathroom door. "Could I?" I ask. I need something to do today to take my mind off Luke. I don't need to be thinking about him anymore. "Yeah! I'll wait for you to shower and then we can go." she says and I close the door.
I take a quick shower and dress in black jeans and a nice top before putting my hair up in a ponytail. Then I go downstairs and tell Zoey I'll do my makeup in the car. I help her carry her stuff outside and then we get in and drive off. When we arrive, I help her unload the car and set up. The venue is beautiful. It's a clearing near a hiking trail, and all the surrounding trees are dressed up in fairy lights and white paper flowers. An aisle and altar are set up in the middle of the large clearing, and rows of white folding chairs are lined up facing the altar. It's beautiful.
"Ready?" Zoey asks and I nod excitedly. First we take pictures of the bride and her bridesmaids, and then the groom and his groomsmen. "This is so cool that your aunt is letting you take the pictures for her wedding." I tell her during our quick break. "Yeah, she's always been really supportive of me and she said she would love it if I could do the pictures for her wedding. And she's paying me too!" Zoey smiles.
Then we begin to take pictures of the ceremony. She gets pictures of each of the bridesmaids coming down the aisle, and then snaps about a hundred of the bride. "I'll go through them later and pick out the nice candids." she whispers and I nod. She gets pictures of the vows, and the focus on her camera is so good that you can see the tears in the groom's eyes. It's a wonderful ceremony, and Zoey even snaps a picture of the bride and groom kissing.
After the ceremony, we stay for a little to take pictures of the guests and the newly-weds. Most are overlooking a cliff the drops down near the restaurant that the reception is being held. The wind is faint but it still blows the bride's veil back. They're smiling at each other, in a way that I've seen Cam smile at Piper or my dad smile at my mom. It's a love that I don't know if I've ever experienced, even if I'd like to believe that I had it with Luke. We were so young and stupid. We're still young and stupid. Him mostly stupid.
I leave Zoey for a minute to catch my breath, and take in the view of the ocean over the cliff. The sun warms my shoulders and back, and the breeze smells like summer and ocean air. I feel a tap on my shoulder and immediately spin around, afraid that I'm in the way of someone's picture. Or that someone will question why I'm even here.
"Hey." a deep voice says and I look up at his face. The sun is shining on it at an angle, illuminating his bright blue eyes. "I'm sorry am I in the way of a picture?" I ask, stepping to the side. He's dressed up in a suit and I know he's a party guest. I don't want to awkwardly explain that I'm here with the bride's niece who's taking the wedding pictures. "No, not at all." he says. "I'm Ian. It's nice to meet you." he says, sticking his hand out. I shake it slowly, slightly taken aback. "Ariel. Nice to meet you too." I say.
He's very handsome and I notice that my mouth is dry and my hands are sweating. "So how are you related to the wedding?" he asks and I gulp. "I'm...not. My best friend is the photographer and she snuck me along as her 'assistant.' Please don't tell anyone." I say, putting a finger to my lips and smiling.
Woah what are you doing. Are you flirting. Stop.
Ian pretends to zip his lips shut and then he laughs. "You're cute." he says and I feel my face turn pink. "Thanks."
"Do you want to get a drink?" he asks and I nod. I follow him to the open bar and he buys me a fruity drink that I don't hear the name of. It tastes good, though, and I sip it slowly. We sit down at the bar stools and I return his question. "How are you related to the wedding? Were you a groomsmen?" I ask, gesturing to his suit. "Yeah, I'm the bride's son." he tells me and I nearly spit out my drink. "Oh." I say, trying to compose myself. "What?" he asks, and I can detect laughter in his voice.
"You're related to Zoey?" I ask and he nods. "Yeah, she's my cousin." he says. "And the photographer." I add and he smiles in realization. "The one you're here in secret with." he says quietly and I nod my head before laughing. He laughs too, and I can't help but think it's deep and rich and real. I haven't heard good laughter in a while.
"So where are you from?" he asks. "California born, raised, and still an occupant." I say and he smiles. "That's cool that you stayed in the same place all your life. I was born in Massachusetts, and my mom and I moved to North Carolina when I was seven." he tells me. "What about your dad?" I ask and he smiles. Actually, it's more like a grimace and I instantly regret asking the question. "My dad left my mom before I was born." he says and I feel goosebumps run over my skin. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to get super personal." I say, taking a sip of my drink.
"It's alright. It's no big deal, honestly." he tells me and I feel a little better, but not one hundred percent. "So how did you end up in California?" I ask. "I went to college here, and then my mom and her fiancé moved out here last year." he tells me and I nod my head. "Well husband now, I guess. I still haven't gotten used to the idea of having a dad again. I've never had a real father figure before." he tells me. "Well you seemed to have turned out okay." I say smiling at him. He smiles back at me. "Have you wanted to stay in California your whole life?" he asks and I have to think about it for a minute.
"I'm not actually sure. I've never thought about leaving for a long time, anyways. I like staying close to home. I like the comfort and the sense of normalcy. But I definitely want to travel some. I'm an author." I tell him. His eyes widen. "Really? Have I read anything you've written?" he asks and I shake my head. "First book is still in progress, and then I have to find someone who actually wants to publish my book." I tell him and he sighs. "Let me know when it's out, I'd love to buy a copy." he says.
We continue to talk until Zoey finds me and pulls me away. "Where have you been for the past hour?" she asks. I glance at my watch and realize I've been talking with Ian for longer than I planned. "I got...caught up with something." I say and point to him with my eyes. "You mean someone. AKA my cousin Ian?" she asks and I nod. "Is that okay? Me being interested in your cousin? He seems really nice and cool and everything but if you didn't feel comfortable with it I'd totally understand." I start rambling but Zoey stops me. "Hey, I liked your brother for seven years and I went to prom with him. If you wanna be interested in my cousin go right ahead." she laughs. "But we do have to leave. Sorry!" she says and I roll my eyes.
I walk back over to Ian who's finished his drink and is just about to ask for another one when I tap him on the shoulder. "I have to go, but it was really nice meeting you." I say to him and he smiles. He hands me a napkin and a pen and asks me to write down my phone number. I gladly oblige and write it down, making sure it's neat enough for him to read. I definitely want him to call me.
"I'll talk to you later, I guess?" he asks as Zoey drags me away. I give him a single thumbs up before losing him in the crowd.
Luke — 1 Ariel — 1
It's on.