It's been a while since I've written. Mostly because I simply just lost the motivation to write. I'm only coming back to write now because I'm bored and have nothing else to do to pass the time.
The year has been... eventful... to say the least. Getting used to Max being around has been and still is extremely hard. It's not a matter of getting the needed amount of attention from the adults in this house because everyone is so focused on the baby, it's more of an "I have to sacrifice my entire day to help meet this kid's needs so he doesn't die". Turns out, Lucy is a bad mother no matter where the baby is from or how it got here so me and Daniel are doing most of the work while she's only needed for breastfeeding or doctor appointments.
On the rare occasions that I'm not wasting my teenage years being a nanny, I'm spending time with my friends at the park and smoking until everything we think or say is nonsense and we're laughing until we can't breathe. We've only gotten closer in the past months and, to be completely honest, I think Sarah has a crush on me.
I'm not complaining. Something about the idea of an older girl liking me makes me feel older than I am and I like the feeling. I like being seen as mature and bigger. In a group of friends where everyone is older than me, it's a little hard to feel like one of them but Sarah having a crush on me definitely gives me that illusion and I love it.
She's very affectionate with me whenever we hang out. She always hugs me and makes an effort to make some sort of physical contact with me. I like the attention a lot. It makes me feel seen and valued in the group and not just an accessory these older kids picked up to be nice.
They also share my frustration whenever I vent to them about Max. They agree he's annoying and he's stealing my life from me. The support feels great and I couldn't ask for better friends. Even if they tease me about Max's first word being "Birdie" (a nickname he came up with because of what I can do), I'm still grateful that they stuck around for so long.
7th August
It's Max's birthday and, as expected, everyone's making way too big a deal about it. I only really came out of my room for the food, but other than that, I stayed hidden upstairs and ignored the commotion downstairs.
That was until Daniel's mother yelled for me to come downstairs and "spend time with my little brother". I only obeyed because I knew if I didn't the woman would throw a fit at me. I sat on the couch while Max played with a few new toys on the floor in front of me. When he saw me, he quickly got up and toddled toward me.
Immediately, I was being bombarded by the baby's erratic hand gestures and incomprehensible babbling. I just had to bear with it lest I get yelled at by the Lockwoods, which I didn't have the mental energy for. I let Max yammer away at whatever he was talking about for a good while before I decided I had enough and grabbed a quick snack before leaving the house altogether.
Daniel's family protested like I knew they would but I just said parties weren't my thing and they couldn't really do much to stop me.
I flew to Sarah's house first to see if she maybe wanted to hang out, but after seeing that she wasn't in her room, I then flew to the park to see if everyone was hanging out there. They weren't there either. For a moment, I decided it was no use and I wouldn't be able to hang out with my friends like I had wanted to. I was about to turn and leave when I randomly had the thought to fly to Steven's just in case.
I did so because I didn't want to go back home and, sure enough, everyone was there having a get-together. I knocked and Steven's roommate, Sam, answered. He was quite surprised to see me but he let me in any way and I was happy that I was finally doing something that I enjoyed.
"Ed! Hey! Didn't expect to see you here!" Sarah greeted me and came over to give me a hug.
I hugged her back, "Yeah, I was just passing by and thought I would stop and say hi."
"Well, I'm glad you did, I missed you," Sarah stated with a small smile. I chuckled and after a moment more of greetings, I sat down on the couch and chatted happily with everyone. We talked and laughed about everything and nothing and finally, I started feeling relatively good about my birthday.
Steven was the one to bring out the grass and the moment it came out, everyone was even more excited than they were before. We got smoking right away and our conversations suddenly became ten times more interesting.
I'm not sure how the subject came up but I must've accidentally let it slip that it was my birthday because it wasn't too long before I was being teased for it being my "special day" and everyone was insisting on celebrating. I didn't really want a big celebration but they were too high to care and wanted to party.
Music was blasted throughout the house and pizza was ordered, Sarah and Michael were dancing while Steven, his roommates, and I were all on the couch taking hits from a joint. That familiar feeling of giddiness and fogginess took hold of me after a while and eventually, the hum of the music and everyone's excitement seemed much less unwanted.
A few hours only seemed like a few minutes but I wasn't complaining. Everyone was high off their asses and having fun, including myself, which I didn't think would happen today. Amidst the chaos, I eventually decided to get up and appease my growing appetite. I grabbed a few slices of pizza and sat next to Sarah on the floor to eat.
"Hey, birthday boy," she giggled.
"Stop calling me that," I laughed and playfully shoved her.
"I will not!" she shoved me back and nearly made me drop my pizza. Thankfully I caught it and I scolded her about it.
"Sorry," she laughed, "You know, if I had known it was your birthday, I would've gotten you a gift."
"That's okay, I don't need anything," I stated.
"No! I want to give you something!" Sarah insisted and I sighed.
"Sarah, really... it's fine, you don't need to," I assured her and took a bite of my pizza.
The girl stood her ground, "No, I'm going to make it up to you. Somehow!" At that point, I just gave up and let her insist on getting me a gift. I knew she probably would be too high to find the energy to get up and go to the store, so I didn't really have to worry about anything in the first place. But it was still annoying to have my birthday as the only subject to talk about.
However, eventually, when no one was around to hear her, she asked a question that I absolutely never expected to hear from her.
"Ed, quick question... are you a virgin?"
I looked at her stupidly as I processed what she said. It was so unbelievable that I was convinced that she had said something else.
"What?"
"Are you a virgin? Like... have you ever had sex?" she repeated and gazed at me curiously. Not knowing what exactly to say, I just responded with a feeble, "Yeah," and her expression twisted into one of surprise.
"Really? Have you ever kissed someone?" she inquired.
I could feel my face growing hot from the embarrassment and I was confused yet flustered that she was asking me these questions. Still, I answered truthfully.
"I've kissed someone, I've just never... done that."
"Aw, that's sweet," she smiled. She didn't ask anything more after that and I was left feeling confused. She didn't bring any more attention to that conversation for a while and, while she moved on to other subjects, I was still wondering why she asked about my sex life.
It wasn't until later in the evening, when everyone went outside to sit around a bonfire and roast marshmallows, did the subject come again in a more... direct fashion. I had been sitting outside for a while but I decided to get up to get yet another snack and Sarah decided to follow me for whatever reason. I assumed it was to get a snack as well but once we were in the kitchen, Sarah turned to me and said softly, "Hey, come to the bathroom with me."
Unsure what else to do and, frankly, quite curious, I followed her. She shut the door behind us and locked it and that's when I finally looked at her and asked what she was doing.
"We're alone and I figured out your birthday present," she smiled with a sly look in her eyes. I found myself blushing intently at her comment. My excited, teenage mind was going wild with what she had planned and I was anxiously awaiting anything to happen.
To my surprise, she removed her shirt and her bra before pulling me in to kiss me. My stomach was doing flips as she kissed me and the thought of her breasts being pressed against my body excited me.
I'd never been kissed the way she kissed me before and the energy was shocking. It was beyond passionate and only excited me further. She trapped me against the sink and her hands wandered to places that I considered private. The pleasure was intense and I enjoyed every second of it.
Sarah kept me in the bathroom with her for quite a while, pleasuring me and showing me a type of affection that I've only ever thought of but never came close to experiencing until now. She left marks on my neck and my collarbone from where she kissed and suckled on my skin and, although I enjoyed them greatly, I knew I would have to do my best to hide them when I got home.
When we finally left the bathroom, I was almost loopy from the experience I just had and that, combined with already being high from the joint, made me feel like the king of the goddamn world. I couldn't stop smiling and I wanted to talk about it with Steven and Michael but Sarah insisted I keep it a secret. Obviously, I'll listen to her but that doesn't stop me from thinking about it repeatedly for hours on end.