Cordelia
Axel held my hand. Our fingers intertwined. His heat and warmth radiated off him making my body pool with butterflies and my stomach tickle under his touch. We stood in black. Our faces not mourning but the pain still very much there. I felt my stomach drop as his coffin was lowered into the dark depths of the ground but then I reminded myself he callously killed out of enjoyment and now he would be where he belonged. At home. At peace. But the resentment didn't help. It eased the pain for a minute or so and then the sickening truth would swarm back in, and I would be reunited with my current life and how everything had turned to soil.
Our hands linked wasn't a mean gesture towards Marcus's family. It was reassurance that we weren't alone, and we had each other's back through good and bad. Thick and thin. But badness seemed to circulate me like a dark cloud following my shadow with every move. I and Axel knew life was always the survival of the fittest, but I reckon Marcus knew it even better than anyone. He always coddled me like I was the finest piece of prized China but maybe he just knew the true dangers of this world we call home and that evil lurked in between my bed sheets, in my shower, and in my fucking body yet I was so oblivious and blind to it.
The ceremony had finished, and everyone made their way back for food and drinks to celebrate the short life Marcus lived and the very secret life which of course his wife would attend.
Noel would be here. And the rest of the Amato's. Coral and Ivan included. My body trembled with nerves at the thought of being associated with everyone again. All too many fresh wounds.
I pondered wondering if any of them knew the truth but just loved him too much to condemn him for his sins. I guess I never really got the choice. Would I of done the same? I'm sure I wouldn't have but unless presented with the situation you don't really know what course of wind it will take.
But now he was dead, and any decision was out of reach.
Pianist music hummed through the speakers not too loud but audible and chatter filled the room. Thick silences too. My eyes were quickly diverted to Noel who looked so much older than I last saw him. He looked like a man and my eyes teared up seeing him in such close proximity. His hair was slicked back. Black. His brown prominent eyes were just like his brother's. But he was taller and slimmer. His gaze met mine and his focus turned to my hand locked with Axels. Heat propelled off of me. This was ignorant of me. I pulled my hand out of Axel's and pretended to fix my appearance. Noel the boy I once knew more than anyone was now a mystery another person in this grand world. He made his way over to us and a massive smile covered his lips and he quickly embraced me with a hug. His strong arms lifted me off the ground leaving my legs dangling.
"Cordelia! How I have missed you." His words muffled against me.
"I don't think we are supposed to be this happy at a funeral," I responded.
He laughed and set me down.
"And who is this?" Noel eyed Axel up.
"This is Axel." I smiled.
"It's lovely to meet you." Noel held out his hand.
"And you." Axel stood confused.
"Noel."
"So, you 2 aren't dating?"
"We are." I interjected.
"Well, you make a hot couple." I always loved him. I was married to his brother attending his brother's funeral with another man yet he couldn't care like he always knew there was a reasonable explanation.
Axel chuckled with laughter.
"Sorry, how are yous related?" Axel looked puzzled trying to piece everything together.
"I'm Marcus's younger brother."
Axel went white. The air got swooped out of him as he tried to process the words he just heard. Having just killed his older brother didn't quite aid matters.
"Ahh, I see." He forced a small smile trying to hide his discomfort.
"Did you 2 uncover Marcus?" Noel turned serious for a moment which I wasn't used to. The weight of the conversation changed. His whole demeanor was normally comedic, and he used to never have time for any significant matters because his attitude was you get one life why worry about the 'what if's' when you have no control over the future.
I nodded. "I take it this is why we are at his funeral." Noel continued. Making sense of everything without any explanations.
I tried to speak but nothing came out so I just shook my head up and down again.
"Why didn't you warn me?" Anger coursed through me again.
"I had to protect my mum and you. If I spoke, you 2 would be good as dead. I just never really realized how bad it got. I'm so so sorry, Del." His voice turned sincere.
"It's okay." My lips curled up a little though the tears coating my face to sympathise with him.
"What did you find out exactly?" Noel eyes opened full, and his stare held with mine.
"Let's sit." Axel gestured for us to take a seat.
Me and Noel followed suit.
"He was a serial killer and my abuser." I laughed a little because that's how I coped.
Both men stilled and after a few minutes of silence Noel spoke. "I'm so so sorry." Axel's hand kept my knee from shaking.
"And you?" I wondered.
"I knew he killed his teacher. He damn right admitted it to me one night and then later followed up he was high and that's why he said what he said. We got into a big argument and after that our bond was never the same. I wanted to believe otherwise so I made excuses for him because he was my brother after all. But it happened again. His clothes were drenched in blood. He lied and said he got in a fight and then confessed when he was at a low point and then again came up with an excuse and said the alcohol was stirring his mind. But then later - a few months after his murder - when he found out about your stepdad...." I broke our eye contact not ready for the reminder of him.
"Something snapped. Something everyone noticed. He stole you from me. And then when I tried to speak up, he would hit me, and that's when I just shut up because it was easier. I just couldn't associate with it anymore it was killing me. I just...." He stammered.
"It's okay. We are back together now." I clasped my hands around his.
"How many people did he kill?" Noel's words were bold and stronger this time. His words cut through me because none of this seemed plausible. It seemed like a video game or a horror movie.
"I think it was close to 100." I replied.
Noel didn't respond but dread filled his expression and his whole body slumped at defeat with that knowledge.
"And what do you plan to do with this?" Noel casted a few short looks at us.
"We plan to take it to our graves. We plan to live our lives with our heads held high and if people don't like it then they can fuck off. We plan to have no more regrets. No more excuses why we can't have what we want because you only get 1 life so why not make it count."
"What do you want out of life Cordelia?" Noel prodded.
"I want to be happy."
"And you?" I returned the question.
"I haven't yet decided."
"Let me give you my number so we can keep in touch as we did as kids. For old time sake.
"Thank you."
I stood up tall. "We better be off. I'd rather not waste another minute of my new life." Me and Noel exchanged a few more looks taking in everything we missed of one another in the years apart. Axel wrapped his arm around my waist holding me close as we walked into emancipation.
In my life I have learned the world can be cruel and will be so in those little snippets of happiness you must relish in them and make them your primary purpose of life.
**
We barely make it in the door before we were ripping each other's clothes off. But I stopped dead in my tracks whilst removing Axel's trousers and asked, "What did you think of the mockery of a funeral?"
He smiled. I felt him harden beneath me. "Please, can we discuss this later love? I'm losing my fucking patience. I need you closer." He demanded.
Axel worked his way up me sucking and biting and teasing me. But not for too long because we both needed the release. He slid inside of me with ease and a moan escaped my mouth as he fit inside of me.
I couldn't even speak to inquire any of my thoughts any longer and any concern quickly dissipated into thin air. His thrusts got harder and deeper, so I covered my mouth with the palm of my hand to stop myself from screaming out in fucking bliss.
Axel shoved my hands above my head and growled. "I want to hear everything." His voice was authoritative and strong, so I felt I had to obey.
He pounded into me as I tried to hold back my moans and screams and he seemed amused by my attempts.
He appeared up for the challenge. He flipped me around, so I was now on top and in control.
I clenched around him. My legs gripped by his side.
"Cum on me, love." He said.
And seconds later my body gave in. I couldn't hold back any longer. My body tightened around his length. He held my hips tight as I spilled onto him. Still in control even though I was on top.
Not wasting a minute Axel took me on his shoulders and I rode him. My head rolled back with his fucking magic tongue. My breathing ragged and heavy as he fucked me with his tongue. "You look sexy, love." He smiled.
I smiled defiantly. I pushed his head down to continue because I was on the verge of coming.
"Do you like that, right here?" He dipped his tongue inside me.
"Fuck." I moaned.
He giggled. "Mmh." I continued not making sense totally lost in the moment of pleasure.
"You taste so good." He continued and pressed his finger and then another inside of me making me even more delirious by the feelings and utter joy I was experiencing.
I arched my back pressing into him even more. "Someone's needy." He demanded.
His fingers pumped in and out of me hitting those spots that drove me insane.
"Are you lost for words?" He smirked as he rubbed me into sweet oblivion, and I lost any care for the moans I mumbled.
He went faster and harder until I came again and again. "Oh my God." I spoke trying to contain my screams but to no avail.
After I released for the fourth time, he lifted me down to catch my breath and find the use of my legs again since they weren't mobile at this moment in time.
"Can you walk?"
"No." I sighed. I laid exhausted. That was so intense. My legs still quivered, and my breathing was still erratic.
"Would you like to meet my brother and his wife tonight for dinner?" Axel spoke. His voice hitched. I propped myself up with my elbows ecstatic by the idea. Energy now consuming me and taking over my fatigue.
"I would love too." My face gleamed in happiness. I slowly sat up and straddled him suddenly finding the energy I didn't have a second ago.
Our mouths connected again. Kissing with need and desire and lust. My clit throbbed just with his mouth on mine. His tongue in my mouth sent me into a spiral of Axel. With each touch, I wanted him closer and closer.
"We should shower."
He whimpered in protest.
"I want to make a good impression on your family and if we fuck until we leave it won't be a good one it will certainly be memorable but not admirable."
"I want to be worthy of your family." I followed.
"You're already worthy. You don't need to continue to prove yourself otherwise. If anyone does it is my brother who has to build trust with you." He gave me a quick peck and as we were about to relapse, I forced myself up and out of bed. I felt his eyes on me as I was on full display and bare from the back making my way to the shower.
He followed me and as I stood under the water cascading down my back he lathered shampoo and conditioner through my hair. A manly scented one but I was surprised he even had both so that was good enough. He kissed my neck as he massaged it through my hair.
"We are going to be late...." I protested but was easily convinced by him.
Love Harlow Xoxo
Thank you for reading!!!