TW: Child abuse
Azula's POV:
I was in a pit of darkness. I could hear the emptiness. There was nothing until...
"Az-ula," my brother croaked, "Azula."
His whispers echoed all around, skewing my sense of direction.
"Azula."
He said clearly louder.
"Azula... Azula... Azula..."
All I heard was a labyrinth of his pleads. The lack of anything but black and his pitiful pitch were making me go insane. I wanted to escape this torture. I was quickly granted this when all the voices in my head–around me, silenced.
The stillness of nothing surely was a better trade than his nagging and begging...
"Azula!" Zuko cried.
Along with his cries, an image appeared. It was one of my father and brother...
Nothing really startled me, but the way my father held my brother was needlessly cruel. He was treated as nothing more than a ragdoll, dangling on my father's grip. A grip that dug into his fair skin.
When I examined my brothers face, it was one of total fear. He trembled and cried. He chirped my name whenever he could, it was too pitiful to even look, yet I was so entranced. So, trapped. Why did he say my name?
After a while, he couldn't talk. No, he was just gasping for air that would never come. Although, his miserable whines were accompanied with new found strength. He was clawing at my father's hands. It was futile. He was far too weak to start fighting now. If he truly wanted to escape, he should have acted way before. Zuko has no one but himself to blame, even if he had those sorrowful eyes. The same expression mother bore all those years ago.
My vision contorted before my eyes. They were unreliable... father was not father, but he was me? Now, I was the one choking Zuko, yet they were not Zuko. His scarred face warped into my mother's perfect image. She trembled and cried just like my brother had. Her reactions and her eyes mirrored my brothers. Nothing was different, yet everything was different. Now, I was the one squeezing her neck. Now, I was the one in uncontrollable control.
As if she noticed, her eyes changed. Those eyes were one of total contempt. Despite what I thought, she no longer reminded me of my brother. Where brother pleaded, my mother chanted. She began chanting, 'Monster... monster... monster...'. Her chants turned into screams and then silence. Dreadful silence, but I knew better. Her eyes told a different story...
'MONSTER!'
I jolted awake. I panted heavily in my crouched form. I felt weak. It was unacceptable. Why am I so sensitive? I simply walked in while father was disciplining Zuko. He was owed what he lied. Simple as that.
Anyways that happened far too long ago. I should be over it ... 'than why did you dream about it'
Knock, knock
I wonder who is disturbing my chambers unannounced. There better be a good reason.
I tugged my cover off and proceeded to shuffle towards the door. As I opened the creaky door, the person who stood in front of me was none other than my brother. A mocking coincidence, I would say.
"May I come in?" He asked. His voice was notably raw and hoarse. It wouldn't be presumptuous of me to fault either his newlywed endeavors or the bruised ring around his neck.
Any other day, I would have waived him off or state the usual unnerving remark, but not today. I simply widened the door for his entry with an emphasized eyeroll. Today was just filled with surprises.
Zuko didn't seem fazed by my actions and welcomed himself onto my bed. He awkwardly sat there with eyes straying everywhere but me. My brother truly had no social skills whatsoever. If it weren't so pitiful, I would help. Eventually I did help. Of course, I only spoke first to get this over with.
"So, what brings you here, Zuzu,"
"You," he simply responded.
Well, that was vague. Me? What about me?
"I know what you did to protect me,"
I finally understood. His sudden need for this late-night chat was because I protected him? Surely, he never thought that. I only arranged his marriage with that peasant because it was strategic. 'Sure, you did' Yes! It would have been a waste if Zuko was killed without bearing pups. Also, the peasant has a lot of valuable information. Combine both situations and it is ideal. Zuko can bear pups and have a husband that would not threaten my future position.
"Hahaha," I laughed, "you think that I–haha... I didn't do it to protect you." 'you did'
His keen face seemed unimpressed. He was arrogant alright. He was so sure and so full of himself. I don't care enough to bother whether he died or not.
"You know, I love you. Right?"
He is trying to manipulate me. Oh, he is one conniving omega. Love? Really? He really thought I would be fooled by his tactics. He should fear my wrath. He should tremble at my presence. He should be paralyzed to even look at my direction. How could he love me when I control him.
I would have stubbornly refused to acknowledge his statement that was clearly untrue, but it wasn't. His endearing eyes and aroma were proof of his comment. As an afterthought, I recalled all the time he attempted to lie with his pathetic stuttering and abnormal eye contact.
To double check, I observed his every micro-expression, body language, and drop in his voice. My brother was a terrible liar, but not a single alarming sign was shown. He was not jittery nor nervous. He certainly had good eye placement. Normal Zuko ones at least. The only other thing to assume was that he was not lying. Zuko truly loved me...
"I also know, you love me too,"
No, I don't! –I wanted to say. The words refused to bud out of my mouth. Not a peep. It was so unlike me. In response, he emitted calming pheromones and cupped my face. His pale thumb wiped something away. It was wet and on my cheeks. A tear? I was crying?
"Azula, no matter what, I am so proud of you. I tried shielding you from our father. I am sorry I failed,"
He spoke with such poise and grace; he truly was meant to be an omega. He sounded eerily similar to mother, yet I didn't feel the same animosity. He wasn't scared. He was protective. He treated me like his baby sister. 'like you ever deserved it'
I leaned at his hand. I craved his warmth. I even found comfort in it. A strange feeling rose in me. Was this love? How come I never felt this before?
Silent tears grew uncontrollable until finally I gave in. I sobbed against Zuzu's satin robe. I wanted to stay like this forever. I loved this new found comfort I unknowingly always needed. Eventually my cries evened but his embrace lingered. He refused to let go. Not saying I wanted to be torn apart.
•••
Knock, knock
"Is Prince Zuko here?" am irritating servant asked.
"Yes? Am I needed somewhere?" Zuzu replied.
"Yes. The Firelord summons you,"
What did father want? I should go with him just in case, he was utterly terrified. I needed to protect him?
I pursued Zuzu out the door, but the wretched servant blocked my path. This insolent fool. Father would be enraged by the disrespect!
"Alone," she emphasized.
Why alone?
Zuko looked at me with a sad nod and walked away.
Zuko's POV:
The Firelord summoned me with no audience. He only wanted to frighten and intimidate everyone under him. Which meant practically everyone. Those really were the heart of my nation, along with maybe war violence... and death... and destruction...
I always ignored the blatant facts of our wrongdoings and bloodshed. The fact that all the air temples I visited, had no source of weaponry. The fact that many children like Lee suffered. War crimes after war crimes. Atrocity after another. Including Katara's and Sokka's mom. All the lies.
Uncle believed in me. Believed I could break these walls of lies, but at last, I did it far too late. For acceptance, I betrayed my uncle. Acceptance I no longer wished for...
Anyways, I finally managed the courage to visit Azula. Although my motivation had been to collect information, I really wanted to talk to her about what father had said. My action was truly a testament of my luck, because that was the biggest gamble, I played. I played the right one considering she was so open. I never realized how neglected she was, at least emotionally. I mostly took the brunt of father's physical abuse, especially after mother's disappearance, but I always had mother or uncle to lean on. Who had Azula? Me.
I would be there for her.
•••
"Father, you requested my presence?"
"Yes, my son. Come, come closer," He asked scarily sweet.
I trotted up the stair–attempting with all my might to soften my racing heart. I felt so winded when I momentously reached the top of the staircase. Before I had a chance to collect myself, I bowed. Fear really played a role to my reaction.
"Show me your mating mark," he demanded. His sternness was so abrupt, it sent waves of unease underneath my bones. Automatically, I stood up. I removed my hair and satin robe off my shoulders, revealing my bitten mark. The Firelord harshly pressed his fingers on the wounded area until he felt satisfied. Luck was on my side. Thankfully Sokka bit me.
"Did that savage treat you well?" he snickered.
I bit my tongue. I itched to yell at the Firelord, but I was content enough with a simple retort.
"My husband is a part of this royal court. I will not stand idly by while you disrespect him with such a word." I said defiantly.
Appalled, father squeezed my wrist and jerked it towards his hideous scowl. He held on so tight, it hurt. I was scared and regretted ever opening my mouth.
"Insolent child! You won't hold your dear at such high regard, once I drug him to insanity. Then, you will call him a savage in no time," My father snarled, "Something so delicate can easily break! Don't force my hand, boy."
My wrist throbbed. I was in pain. I could not bear this life without Sokka. My joy. My smile. I begged my father. I begged him for any other punishments, just please not Sokka. My hysteria and panic continued. My pleads and sobs ensued. In my father's eyes, I was no better than a pathetic omega beggar.
"Enough! You will learn how to become a proper omega. Don't let this happen again," he urged.
My father was being merciful? I always hadpunishments. If I did a mistake or asked for forgiveness. Mistakes weredishonorable... Forgiveness was weakness... it didn't made sense?