CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
STAYING BEHIND
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The master had granted us food and water beyond imaginable. Everyone had eaten the bountiful food that had be laid before us, along with clothes and weapons. Some of the Dwarves were resting, some were talking amongst each other, and others were still eating the bounty. I had found comfortable place to sit, to think things over. I grabbed a stick and my pocketknife, carving a beautiful eagle into the wood.
Thought to myself deeply, wondering why it had seemed that Kili was almost trying his absolute best to stay clear from me. I was most certainly unaware if I had done something wrong, although nothing wouldn't added up. He was in pain, more pain than he should've had to deal with. It was, with no doubt, infected to of some sort.
I looked up, instantly locking gazes with Kili. He had been eyeing me down for a good long while now before he jerked his head back to the sword he was granted. I sighed placing my dagger and wooden carved object onto the seat below me. I slowly walked over to Kili, bending down before sitting against the ground completely, pulling my legs close to my chest and wrapping my arms around the front of my legs.
"You know", I paused. "If there's something you need or want to know", I exhaled. "You can tell me", Kili met my eyes once again. "You know you can ", I finished as I peeked his head up slightly "Is your wound getting any better", I questioned as he scoffed disrespectfully.
"You know", he paused tilting his head to the side. "Do us and yourself a favour", he paused remorsefully. "Learn to keep your mouth shut and stop worrying about everyone else", he spat, looking to me with nothing more than ager and despite. My arms fell to my side. Pushing myself off of the floor, standing to my feet, and looking down to Kili.
"anytime", I spat through gritted teeth, cocking my head to the side, and throwing down the torn rag I had from my pocket that I was planning to use for Kili. I turned around on my heels, heading straight towards the long hallway that laid before me, passing all the Dwarves in the room. I stomped down the walkway before hitting a dead end, a small window on the wall.
Anger fumed inside my chest, boiling from the tip of my fingers, stress piling up against my will, the frustration getting the best of me. Hot boiling tears began to swell up inside of me, more anger and frustration form the nerve of the Dwarf. I never understood why, but in anger and frustration was brought to a certain extent, tears would come burning through.
I only aloud a few tears to fall from my eyes in anger just as I heard footsteps coming towards my figure from behind me. I turned around to see Fili coming closer and closer before I wiped the tears form my face almost too quickly.
"hey", Fili mumbled out only a few feet away from me now. "You okay", he questioned as I sighed, running my hand through my hair breathing heavily.
"The nerve of your brother is driving me fucking insane" I breathed out as he nodded his head in frustration.
"he's definitely off". Fili stated as I tried to calm myself down a bit. "he's not himself" , he frowned, furrowing his eyebrows together.
"And all this", I mumbled out as Fili took a step closer in concern. "My past", I exhaled a deep breath. "Who I am who my parents were", my breath caught as placed my hand against my forehead. "I would totally understand if none of you trusted me anymore, I wouldn't blame you. I had to lie", I paused holding in the emotion I longed to get out. "I'm sorry for everything Fili", I sighed. "I shouldn't have"
"Allísa", Fili breathed out, stopping me from babbling on. "We all heard about your past, who you are, and why you had to hide it. So, don't be sorry for something that wasn't even your fault", he paused. "don't be sorry for anything. Everyone on this quest trusts you. With all of their hearts. Including mine.", he paused again as I looked up to my dearest friend. "Now my stubborn brother might not think so at this moment", Fili fumed sightly.
"But he will see the truth, Allísa. He will see and understand that you", he paused. "You are a kind, loving, honest, brave, loyal, self-less, trustworthy and a great friend". he placed reassuring hand on my shoulder, a smile lifting from my face in happiness. "That's what everyone on the quest sees when they look upon you", I slowly embraced Fili, him falling into the hug.
"Thank you", I mumbled out, holding in the tears from the kind and loving words from my dearest friend. I broke the hug looking up to the man standing before me. I noticed a figure slowly walking towards the two of us, stepping out from fifi figure, looking down to see Kili. He was limping lightly but walking closer and closer to the two of us.
I looked up to Fili, exchanging glances before turning from him, not making eye contact to Kili whatsoever, keeping my gaze transfixed onto the ground. I slowly began to walk past Kili before a hand gripped my forearm, stopping me in my tracks as I whipped my head around in to Kili in anger. "Let go of me Kili", I said trying to stay calm, as I tried to gey my arm from out of his grasp, only to make him grip a bit harder.
"Allísa, I-"
"Please let me go!", I shouted, getting a few tears from the Dwarves up ahead as I jerked my arm away from Kili, feeling a bit of guilt deep down in the pit of my chest. I whipped my head forward, walking away from the two brothers behind me and towards the rest of the Dwarves.
"Come on", Thorin stated to everyone. "We leave now", I looked up to Thorin following him towards the great big doors, Alfrid and the master greeting us respectfully. We followed them down to the docks with our armoury they had willingly gifted us with.
"You do know we're one short". My uncle stated as I looked to my left to meet my uncles eyes in confusion.
"who", I questioned, looking around and trying to possibly figure out who on earth he was talking about as one of the Dwarves began to climb into the boat.
"where's bofur", Bilbo questioned as my breath caught, bofur, there's no way we could leave that kind of fella behind.
"If he's not here, we leave him behind", Thorin stated bluntly as I turned to look at him in disbelief.
"He is one of your companions, Thorin", I paused. "You surely can't just leave him behind", I questioned in a form of a statement as Balin turned to me.
"we'll have to, if were to find the door before nightfall. We can't risk no more delays", Balin stated before it was my turn to climb aboard. Almost everyone was safe and inside the boat before Thorin pressed his forearm against Kili's chest roughly.
"Not you", Thorin grumbled. "We must travel at speed; you will slow us down", Thorin stated as I looked to Fili, exchanging glances.
"What are you talking about", Kili questioned with a smirk. "I'm coming with you", Kili tried pushing past his arm, but Thorin held him back.
"no", Thorin paused "no" he stopped Kili in his tracks, not letting him have a safe passage onto the boat.
"I'm going to be there when that door's opened", Kili passionately stated. "When we first look upon the halls of our fathers, Thorin-"
"Kili stay here", Thorin cut him off. "rest", he paused "Join us when you're healed", he finished with a half-smile as Kili took a step back in distraught. My heart fell from my chest, seeing how passionate he was and how afar he had come just to be home from the first time.
"I'll stay with the lad. My duty lies with the wounded", i stated stepping out onto the boat, my gaze transfixed on Kili.
"uncle", Fili paused towards his uncle. "We grew up on the tales of the Mountains", my gaze fell onto Fili and Thorin almost instantly. "Tales, you told us", he paused. "You cannot take that away from him."
"Fili", Kili raised his voice to his brother, trying to stop him from saying no more. I shook my head in disbelief.
"Thorin", I breathed out taking a step closer to the small man. "You take this one chance, this one moment away from Kili", I paused. "Then this quest has been for nothing, on his sake", I glanced between Kili and Thorin. "His is your nephew Thorin. This is what he dreamed of since childhood," I sighed, looking over to Kili, noticing how his gaze was transfixed upon me. Not breaking eye contact once
"I will carry him if I must", Fili raised his voice in defence before Thorin placed a hand upon his shoulder.
"One day you will be king, and you will understand", Thorin stated as I scoffed. "I can't risk the fate of this quest for the sake of one Dwarf", he breathed out, making me flinch from his words. "Not even my own kin" Thorin finished as I shook my head.
"If he were king, he'd understand far more than you ever will", I stated bluntly, stepping out from the boat along with Fili before Thorin gripped my forearm, stopping Fili and me.
"Fili, Allisa", Thorin exclaimed, "don't be fools. You belong with the company", he stated as I looked to the king that stood before me
"I belong with my brother", Fili stated walking past Thorin and I, before throne's gaze was lay on me
"You still have a choice", he grumbled deeply as I jerked his grip off of my forearm looking up to the man intensely.
"I chose the right choice", I states firmly with no remorse, looking over to my uncle. Bilbo nodded his head in respect before I turned my body towards my kin.