"Are you sure?" He asked.
"Yes." Her voice was harder.
He lets him go.
Teddy doesn't move, he just stares at Bridget, a small tear trickling down his cheek. "I'm sorry."
"It's ok." She coos, rubbing his tense shoulder.
"He talked about you, the things he was saying-"
"I know, I understand." She kisses his lips.
"Je t'aime tellement, Brigitte. Je ne pense pas que tu comprennes." I love you so much, Bridget. I don't think you understand, Teddy says to Bridget in his native tongue.
"I know." She responds in English. She kisses his tears away and hugs him to her chest. He clutches onto her, like she was the whole universe, like she held the universe in her palm, in her soul. One thing that people don't know about Teddy, he's half French. His mother came to America for college, met his father, and never went back home.
I see Elizabeth just staring at him, her hand cradling her chest, and I swear I see her eyes gloss over. I don't move, instead, I just watch. Watch as she stares at her sister and Teddy, him speaking to her in the beautiful language of French, the way they sound, and the tears pooling out of Bridget's eyes. A few girls linger to the side, watching. It's like a rom-com movie from Hallmark.
I walk over to her, "Are you ok?"
"Yes, I'll be fine." She doesn't look in my direction.
"Let me see."
"No." Her voice was stern.
"Let me see it, Elizabeth."
"No, you don't get to pick and choose when you want to care." She bites.
I pull her to the side, "Listen to me, I know what I said to you was fucked up I know that now. But you're dumb if you think I'm going to stand by and let you be hurt without checking on you. Now, stop fighting me and give me your hand."
I see her eyes fighting me, "Fine, but be quick."
"Thank you." I take her good hand in mine, dragging her down the hall with me to a bathroom.
"Where are we going?" She tries to pull away, I yank her towards me.
"To the bathroom, we need to get it cleaned up. And don't you dare tell me no." She quiets.
We find a bathroom, this one was bigger and had more energy to it.
"Sit on the counter," I tell her.
She does it, her dress riding up her thick thighs, I do everything in my power to tear my eyes away from her, not wanting her to see what's in my eyes, or straining in my pants.
Looking through the medicine cabinet, I take the first aid kit out. Dabbing a cotton ball with alcohol to clean her hand and then bandage it up with wrapping.
I don't have to tell her to hold her hand out, it's already ready for me. My good girl, I think to myself.
"This is going to hurt," I warn.
"I've already experience pain, I can handle it." The comment was directed to me, but I don't acknowledge the jab.
I dab the cotton on her knuckles, she hisses. I rub the top of her hand, "It's ok, baby." I whisper, kissing her knuckles. She doesn't jerk her hand away like I think she will, she just stares as my lips leave her knuckles.
I let my lips linger for a moment, wanting to feel her throbbing hand against me, she wants me, she needs my touch just as much as I need hers.
I try to spark up a conversation, "How have you been?"
"Fine."
"Classes?"
"Decent." She looks down at her hand in mine, how I tenderly dab the cotton ball on her knuckles. And how sometimes the pallet of my thumb rubs over it.
"Are you liking the dorm? Or even your roommate?"
She groans, "Andreas, what the fuck is this?" She points between the two of us.
"I just want to create conversation, that's all. Even through everything, I still care about you." She scoffs. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"You say you care about me, you say that I'm so beautiful it hurts, you say all these things and yet you still hurt me. You're a fucking hypocrite, Andreas Chen." I can see her fighting her emotions. She's angry and sad and frustrated. Because through all of this, she still wants me.
She tries to hop down from the counter, but I clamp my hands over her thighs, keeping her there. I keep my hands at an appropriate length so as not to scare her.
"Elizabeth, you have to understand, it's not that I don't want to be with you- "
"Then what is it? Huh!" I hear her voice crack. "Why am I not good enough for you? Is it my body, am I not skinny enough or pretty enough! What is-"
I tap her thigh, telling her to cut the nonsense. How could she think these obscene things? "Elizabeth, what in the hell? You think that's the reason?" She shrugs her shoulders, like she ran out of ideas. This girl doesn't even know.
I sigh, "I'm scared." I lean my head against her chest, I can feel my hair grazing against it. She stills, not moving a muscle.
I loop an arm around her waist, pulling her close to me. I just want to feel her, I want to hear her heartbeat, even just for a second. And right now it's erratic. "God, E, I miss you so damn much," I kiss the top of her chest, and she sighs.
Her hand flows through my hair and she widens her legs to bring me in. We stay like that for a few seconds.
"Why can't you let it go?" She asked, breaking the silence around us.
"I don't know, my mind won't let me forget." I stroke a hand on her thigh, god I forgot how good and warm she feels.
"Will you ever forget?"
"Probably not." At that, she pushes me away. She knows if I don't forget, I'll never let go and be with her.
She knows me like the back of her hand.
I throw the cotton ball in the garbage next to us, wrapping her hand in white wrapping. Once I'm done, she tries to dash out the door, whispering a thank you, but I get close to the door and slam it.
"Let me out."
"No, we need to talk some more."
She looks into my eyes, they were red, and I think she may die, "You've said everything at Doug's match and right now, we're done."
She turns her head to the door, leaning against it. I press myself against her back, letting her feel my hard-on against her butt, she jerks, and gasps under her breath. I want her to know that she still has a hold over me.
"Did you get my gift?" My breath trickles down her neck and her back arches. I put a hand on her waist, wanting to feel her under my arms. It's been so long since we've been this close.
"Yes."
"Did you open it?"
"No."
My voice wavered, "And why not?"
She turns around to me, "Because a gift isn't going to fix everything, whatever it was it was not needed. I don't want anything from you."
I grip her waist, leaning my lips to her ear, she stiffens, "Yes, you do."
She crosses her arms, "Oh! What's that?"
"You want me to love you. To make passionate and disgusting love to you as you quake under me. You want me to kiss you every day like it's the last time I would see you again. You want me to kiss you on your thighs, your neck, breast, and between your legs." She gasped. "Most importantly, you want me to be all for you, to give myself all to you. I know that now, Elizabeth. I didn't before, but I talked to some people and they made me realize something. I-", The words got stuck in my throat, and damn do I feel like shit.
She grips my wrist, "You what?"
"I- I-," Nothing. Absolutely Nothing.
I see her eyes water, but she doesn't let them fall, not wanting me to see her be vulnerable. To show that I broke her, again.
"Fuck you, Andreas Chen!" I lean my hand off the door, letting her go.
Walking away from me
Running away from me
I confessed all that, poured my heart out to her, and told her everything she wanted from me, but the one thing I couldn't tell her is what she wanted.
For me to tell her that I love her.
I do, there's no doubt about it.
Saying the words, on the other hand, makes everything real.
So real.
I need to leave this party.
Walking to my car, I see Topolski leaning up against it. Next to him was Ollie, holding onto him for dear life.
"Don't tell me you bore her to death and she fainted."
"No, she just passed out against me and told me to find you, that you would know what to do."
I sigh.
"Put her in the backseat." I unlock the door; he easily picks her up and places her on the seats, not without moving a curl from her head. "Hey, you want a ride?"
"Please, I can't stay here much longer."
I chuckle, "Fine, get in."