Dad and Mitchell told me countless times to hire a cleaning lady but I was adamant that I wasn't raised that way. Abuela and Mom raised me to do my chores but with my work schedule, I sometimes cleaned in a rush and didn't always do simple things like throwing away trash that needed to be gone ASAP.
My mind went blank and my heart raced. Mitchell appeared calm but I could've guessed the one thousand questions that must've run through his head.
"W-where?" I hesitated and tried to grab the box but he pulled his hand back. I gulped. "Where did you find that?"
"That's not important," Mitchell dismissed. "Why do you have an empty pregnancy test box?"
"You shouldn't be looking through my stuff." I avoided eye contact, stepped closer to him, and tried to grab the box back but he lifted his arms high enough so I couldn't reach.
"You're getting very defensive." Mitchell's eyes moved over every feature on my face.
I took in a deep breath and ran a hand through my hair. "Look, I'm a doctor and-"
"Don't," Mitchell snapped and I was startled by his loud tone. He took in a breath and calmed down. "Don't lie to me, Mila."
Leo's words ran through my head and at that moment, I knew he was right. Mitchell had every right to know but I pushed it back because I simply wanted to forget.
"Please," Mitchell virtually pleaded. "Just be honest."
Mitchell looked a little scared and I assumed it was a reaction due to his toxic past relationship. If I stood before him and lied to his face, it wouldn't just trigger him but it would possibly change his entire perspective of me. Besides, I wasn't a liar or manipulator, I was just afraid of the situation I found myself in a week ago and opening up was never my strong forte.
"Please don't get mad," I whispered.
Mitchell shut his eyes and exhaled before he looked at me once more. "Talk to me."
I gulped and realized my hands tremored when I dropped the glass of water on the island counter. My heart sped and my stomach churned from anxiety, I had no idea how Mitchell would react.
I licked my dry lips. "I've missed two periods. Last month I made nothing of it but when I missed my period this month, I got a little paranoid."
Mitchell quietly stood opposite me and stared intensely. "When did you take the test?"
"Last week."
"Last week," Mitchell muttered to himself and turned his back to me.
"But it was a false alarm, I tested twice and both were negative," I blabbed in hopes it would ease the situation. "I assume with stress and recently starting the pill, my cycle is a little offbeat. I overreacted and assumed the worst –"
Mitchell slowly turned around. "The worst?"
"I mean..." I trailed off and didn't know what to say. Those two words were confirmation that Mitchell would've been over the moon had I been pregnant while it was the last thing I wanted in my life right now.
"This is why I couldn't tell you and when I saw how you were with Odette, it scared me even more. You love kids and I'm... indifferent. Besides that, I'm nowhere near ready to take on the responsibility of a child."
"And you think I am?"
"I don't know, it's not something we've ever discussed and it wasn't a discussion I wanted to have for a long time."
"There is a huge difference between spending time with someone else's child and taking on the responsibility of your own," Mitchell coolly said. "Just because I'm fond of Odette or kids doesn't mean I want my own at this moment in time."
"I didn't kn-"
"How could you?" Mitchell cut me off. "You'd only know if you communicated with me."
A part of me wished Mitchell would've raised his voice, yelled, and gotten furious but he looked eerily calm. Most of all, he stared at me in defeat and... disappointment. Almost as if he wasn't surprised that I didn't tell him.
"I know I should've talked to you." I took a step closer. "I... It's not an excuse but I was just so scared."
Mitchell shut his eyes for a long moment, breathed in deeply, and exhaled. "I understand." He left the box on the island and walked past me.
His reaction was worse than I expected. My actions didn't anger but hurt him and I hated myself for that. Leo was right and I argued with him like a stubborn, know-it-all, idiot.
"Mitch." I chased after him but he stopped in his tracks and slowly turned around to face me.
He pointed at the box and wore a frown. "You said seeing me with Odette scared you... did you take the test before or after I arrived?"
"I was about to take it just before you arrived and ended up taking it at night while you were asleep."
Mitchell pursed his lips and remained silent for a long time. "Leo was here when I arrived."
Joder! He's going to feel worse if he finds out Leo knew. I really screwed up this time.
I couldn't lie to him so I merely nodded in response. I watched silently as Mitchell paced back and forth and my stomach churned as he most likely put together the pieces.
Mitchell stopped pacing and faced me. "I thought it was a little odd when Leo asked if you were drinking wine tonight but brushed it off assuming it was one of your silly childhood inside jokes."
I gulped and mentally counted the minutes before Mitchell lost his cool and this time, I fully deserved it.
Mitchell looked very intimidating when he stepped closer and stood a few inches away. With a clenched jaw, he stared down at me. "Does Leo know?"
I couldn't look into his eyes, I looked away and licked my lips. "Mitch -"
"Yes or no." Mitchell cut me off with a hard tone.
I shut my eyes and slowly nodded. "Yes."
I heard Mitchell's sharp intake of breath and felt him move away. I slowly opened my eyes and Mitchell's back was to me with his fingers intertwined at the back of his head.
"I never planned to tell him," I blurted, desperate to clear the air. "When I slipped and fell in the lobby, everything from my bag scattered and he saw the test. I told him to mind his own business but he read me like an open book and figured it out by himself. He came over later and –"
"That's what you were discussing in the kitchen tonight, right?" Mitchell cut me off.
"Yes," I softly mumbled. "He was mad that I didn't tell you but I said it wasn't his busi-"
"You fucking lied to my face!" Mitchell snapped. "I asked if everything was alright and you said yes when clearly it wasn't."
"I couldn't bring it up there, I figured I'd tell you once we were home but you were in a good mood and –"
"You were never going to bring it up." Mitchell stared icily at me. "I wouldn't have known if I didn't find the box."
"That's not true."
"Don't lie to me, Mila!"
I swallowed and felt the situation slipping from my hands. "I really did plan on telling you, I just didn't know how to bring it up."
"Simple, you talk to me," Mitchell stated. "How do you think I feel knowing Leo knew that you were possibly carrying my child while I sat there tonight like a fucking ignorant asshole claiming how lucky I am to call you mine."
Mitchell scoffed, pursed his lips, and shook his head. "I call you mine but it seems Leo is more a part of your life than I am."
"No." I reached for Mitchell and ignored the lump in my throat but he pulled back. "I never would've told Leo if he didn't see the test. I was going to take the test and then talk to you about it."
"A week later and you didn't."
"Because it was a false alarm. Things were so good between us that I just wanted to forget the whole ordeal."
"And you would've gone on as normal keeping me in the dark while fucking Leo knew about something as big as this?" Mitchell snapped.
"No..."
"What do you take me for, huh?" Mitchell's voice raised. "A relationship entails more than just sharing a bed. No matter how big or small something is, if it involves both of us, I expect you to share it with me."
"And something as big as a pregnancy... fuck!" Mitchell ran his fingers through his hair.
I flinched at his tone and had no idea how to fix the situation.
"You were going to take the test with Leo at your side..." Mitchell said more to himself. "Am I just a novelty on your arm? Someone you can have a good time with but when shit gets real, you toss me aside as if I'm no one."
"No, no, absolutely not. You know what you mean to me."
"I'm not so sure anymore." Mitchell huffed and ran a hand over his face. "It should've been me at your side when you were unsure and scared. Have I not proven myself enough to you? Are you still not comfortable to open up fully?"
"You know it isn't like that." I blinked away tears that pooled in my eyes. "You're the only person I feel safe with."
"Then why didn't you talk to me?" Mitchell's low, defeated tone made my heart clench.
"Because I didn't want to disappoint you. I knew you'd support me no matter what but I also didn't want you to hold onto false hope. I knew you would've been happy should the test have turned out positive but I wasn't sure if I would've felt the same way." I took in a breath after my rant. "The last thing I want is to be a disappointment in your eyes."
"How ironic," Mitchell muttered. "Because I've never been more disappointed before than I am now."
His words stung but what felt worse was the way he looked at me. I knew I let him down and even if I wanted to say he overreacted, I couldn't because his feelings were valid.
"Mitch..." My voice broke and tears pooled in my eyes.
"You should've come to me." Mitchell shook his head and stepped back. "It should've been me there for you, not Leo."
"I know," I whispered and couldn't hold back the tears anymore. "I was just so scared. I thought... Once again, I felt I needed to handle it by myself."
"I admire your independence but this involved me too, Mila!" I was startled by his sudden loud tone. He took in a calming breath and continued in a softer tone, "I had a right to know."
"I'm so sorry." More tears rolled down my cheeks as my heart broke seeing how hurt he was by my stupidity.
I sniffed and wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. I hated how weak and pitiful I must've appeared but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't control my emotions. Mitchell hesitated before he stepped closer, I felt his eyes on me and hurriedly wiped away fresh tears.
He swiped his thumb across my cheekbone and wiped away a tear. "Don't..." Mitchell huffed and pulled back. I looked at him and I'd never seen him that way before, he looked conflicted and more than just upset. He raked his fingers through his hair, sighed, and without a second glance, turned around and walked off.
"Mitch," I called after him.
Mitchell stopped in his tracks and slowly turned to face me. "This is the first time that your tears don't affect me."
His words washed over me like an ice bath. "What..."
"I... I can't right now," Mitchell muttered and walked off.
My heart was heavy and felt as if it were breaking. I didn't know what Mitchell meant and didn't know if I should've chased after him. I stood immobile in my spot with tears in my eyes as my mind played back every word he said. I screwed up big time and it just might've cost me my Mitchell... my everything.
Mitchell was back, dressed in his clothes from the evening. He slipped his phone into his pocket and held his car keys. He was ready to leave and the flashback of his abrupt departure from the last time made me anxious.
I stepped towards him. "You're leaving?"
Mitchell rubbed the back of his neck and looked at anything other than me before he forced himself to look in my eyes. "I need to be alone for a while." He rested a hand on my shoulder and I might've been mistaken but his gaze softened a smidge. "Please don't overthink or jump to absurd conclusions."
"Don't go," I softly pleaded as fresh tears rolled down my cheeks. "I know I have no right to ask that of you but..."
"I don't want this to escalate and the only way for that to happen is to give me a little space." Mitchell paused and stared into my wide, scared eyes for a long moment. "I love you." He kissed my forehead and after one more look, he walked off.
"I love you too," I croaked just as he opened the door.
Mitchell glanced at me over his shoulder. "I'll call you," he promised before he shut the door behind him.
I really hurt him this time.
***
Three days had passed since Mitchell and I had possibly the worst fight yet. I hadn't seen him since he asked for some space and I respected that. We did however talk – if sending a good morning text and then asking how each other's days were in the evening counted as talking. Our vibe was very much off and it made me miserable but I had to give him all the time he needed.
My heart still felt heavy and the look of disappointed and hurt on Mitchell's face haunted me. I tried to put on a smile and go about my day but the minute I was by myself, I was consumed by guilt and loneliness.
Thankfully, I had one patient who seemed to brighten my day and even though her condition made her forget me every day, I looked forward to seeing her daily. I put on my white coat, grabbed my bag, and left the silent apartment.
The elevator stopped on the tenth floor and much to my surprise Leo stepped in. He didn't notice me because his eyes were glued to his phone screen. I hadn't spoken or seen Leo since dinner at Dad's.
"Hey," I greeted.
Leo looked up from his screen and looked at the elevator door that shut. "Fuck, too late to take the stairs."
"Ouch."
"I'm kidding." Leo offered a small grin. "How've you been?"
I shrugged. "Alright, I guess, you?"
Why has it gotten so weird to talk to him? How did things change so much?
"No complains." Leo flashed me a wide grin.
I fidgeted with the strap of my bag. "I want to apologize... for the other night. You were just looking out for me and I was rude. I'm sorry for that."
"Don't sweat it," Leo earnestly grinned. "I hope you took my advice and spoke to Mitchell."
I breathed in and the recollection of our fight made my heart sink. "He found out."
"Meaning you didn't tell him?"
I nodded. "And he figured out that you knew too."
"I take it he wasn't very happy."
I pursed my lips and shook my head in response.
"Mila..." Leo drawled. "This is why I told you to talk to him. He should've known about it before anyone else but you..."
"I screwed up, I'm well aware."
"You're way too stubborn for your own good, you think you can handle everything by yourself just because you've been alone most of your life. And while, to a certain extent, that is true, you still need to realize that you're in a relationship with someone who cares deeply for you. By hiding something as big as a presumed pregnancy, you've not only disrespected but made him believe you don't fully trust him."
I was left speechless after Leo's rant. I knew he was right and thought all those things the minute Mitchell left but it surprised me how harsh Leo's delivery was.
"Don't look at me like that." Leo kept his tone abrupt and cold. "You're an adult and I can't keep sugar coating things just to make you feel better. The cold hard fact is you were ignorant, foolish, and stubborn and now you're paying the price for it."
"Leo..." I was left utterly taken aback but he didn't seem to be bothered.
"Much like life, relationships are fickle and when you find one that's worth keeping, don't screw it up," Leo bluntly said. "I get you still have a lot to learn and it might've been wrong of me to impose but if I am, it's in your best interest."
Just then the elevator door opened, Leo glanced at the door and once more at me. "I've got to go. I hope you actually listened to what I said and not like always just heard. I'll see you around."
Without waiting for a response, Leo walked away and left me stunned. His words were true but there was something awfully off with him. I couldn't recognize him as my best friend anymore.
My thoughts were abruptly put to a halt when the elevator door slowly closed again but before it could, I put my hand out to stop it and quickly stepped out. My day had not gotten off to a good start. I walked to the Maybach Patrik waited for me in and hoped it would've gotten better instead of worse.
***
"I've been waiting for you, Dear. You took extra long to visit today, how's your grandaddy?" Wendi, a seventy-six-year-old patient asked as I visited her on my rounds later that morning.
Wendi was a patient I'd attended to for the last two weeks since she was admitted. I grew fond of her and while she thought of me as someone different every day, I still felt a certain bond with her. She suffered from a rare but aggressive form of cancer called glioblastoma. Sadly, there wasn't much we could do for her as the tumor grew rapidly and surgery would've been fatal. She recently had a severe stroke which left her speech and entire left side of her body impaired yet she always wore a smile. She lost a lot of her memories since she was diagnosed and recently became delirious which was why she referred to me as someone in her family every day.
"I'm sorry, I had one too many things to do this morning." I smiled as I checked her vitals.
"That's alright, sweetheart. Seeing your smile makes my day."
"As does yours." I affectionately touched her hand.
"Did you talk to your grandaddy?" Wendi mumbled. "He's been waiting for me to cook his favorite meatloaf but I need to get some fresh parsley, I keep forgetting the parsley."
Wendi attempted to sit up but before she fell off, I gently held and pushed her back. "Don't worry and relax."
"You're the best, Honeybee." Wendi smiled. "You remind me so much of your mama, just as caring and soft-spoken."
It hurt to see Wendi's condition and it touched close to home but it also somehow made me closer to her. I didn't know much about her family and no one visited but she had a granddaughter who lived in Atlanta that called to check in daily. She had a demanding work schedule and didn't know when she could visit.
I blinked and pushed aside my thoughts. "Your vitals look good today." I checked that her IV was on properly since she had a habit of pulling it off. "I'm proud of your progress."
"Why hasn't Eugene visited?" From our conversations, I knew that Eugene was her late husband whom she believed was still alive. "I miss him."
"You should get some rest, Mrs. Jackson."
Wendi sighed. "Back when we were courting, we used to go for long walks and eat ice cream. His favorite flavor was vanilla and I teased him about being so simple but I fell in love with that simplicity."
"Marrying him was the best decision of my life. Even when he went to war, he wrote to me whenever he could. Why are you standing so far?" Wendi waved me over. "I like talking to you, Honeybee. You barely talk these days and your grandaddy doesn't visit, it gets lonely."
My heart ached for her, I'd walked in on her talking to herself sometimes and the nurse told me she even sang and laughed to herself before bed every night. Since I was due for a short lunch break after I checked on her, I had time to spare so, I pulled a chair closer to her bed and sat beside her.
"You're so pretty." Wendi smiled and attempted to lift her hand but it sat lame at her side. "Such pretty eyes."
"As are you."
"Eugene told me I was the prettiest of all. We used to dance every night after dinner." She paused and tears brimmed at the corner of her eyes. "He was a naughty fella who loved to grab my ass."
Together we laughed and it felt like I'd wholeheartedly laughed for the first time in days.
"He used to sing to me too," Wendi mused. "Louis Armstrong was his favorite singer. He sang A Wonderful World to me every single day. He even reminded me about the wonderful world in every letter he wrote during his time away."
My smile faded and a lump grew in my throat. She spoke of our song...mine and Mitchell's song. I recalled how he recently drunkenly sang it to me and how loving he was. I sometimes wondered if I even deserved him. If I had to think about it, I'd hurt him and took advantage of his patience with me one too many times.
"You had an epic love story," I said softly.
"I have an epic lover." Tears rolled down her cheeks and she smiled. "I struggle to sleep without him. I could never sleep without holding his hand and now it feels... void." Wendi looked at me desperately. "Will you please call and tell him to visit? I'm so lonely here."
I didn't know how to tell her that her husband died over ten years ago nor did I have the heart. So, instead, I held her hand. "Close your eyes and imagine Eugene, he's there with you, in a place that no one can take him away... in your heart."
Wendi closed her eyes, sighed contently, and smiled. "Thank you, Honeybee. I don't know what I'd do without you."
I was emotional, not just at her story but also the reminiscence of Mom's condition. She lived in the past sometimes and spoke to me as her friend. Just to be close to her, I used to go along with her story.
"Dr. Brinson." My reverie was abruptly broken by the cold tone of Dr. Nowak.
He stood sternly at the doorway and his eyes landed on my hand that rested on Wendi's before he looked back up at me. "If you're done with the patient, could I have a word in private?"
I glanced at Wendi who seemed to have drifted off to sleep and slowly pulled my hand away before I left.
"What did I just witness?" Nowak asked.
"Pardon?" I frowned. "I'm not sure what you're implying."
"You are a doctor here Dr. Brinson and Mrs. Jackson is a patient, there need to be certain boundaries." Nowak's tone told me he was pissed. "Holding a patient's hand and comforting her isn't ethical."
My frown deepened and I was not in the mood to deal with Nowak's attitude. "So, in other words, I need to be a heartless practitioner to all my patients?"
"There is a substantial difference between being humane and developing an attachment," Nowak stated. "Why do you think most physicians are unable to operate on their next of kin? Apart from being against ethics, one simply cannot do it. Developing an attachment to a patient can be dangerous to the patient and doctor. You are here to treat and help them, not create bonds."
"I'm well aware of ethics, Doctor but I cannot be inhumane when a patient has been lying alone for two weeks and expressing how lonely she is."
"Take some free advice, Dr. Brinson, do not make the mistake of forging a relationship with any of your patients. In this field, it will make your job very unbearable."
"I am not forging any relationships, I was just there for a patient when she needed it. Her mental wellbeing is just as important and shouldn't be ignored."
"Which is why we have therapists who offer services to patients who need it. You have a role to play as her doctor and I suggest you do it accordingly or rethink your career choice," Nowak brusquely said. "I do not want to see a mistake like this again or I'll have to reassign Mrs. Jackson another doctor."
I opened my mouth to retort but Nowak didn't wait for a response and walked off. I glared at the back of his head and curled my hands into fists. He never missed an opportunity to find a fault with me.
"Vete al infierno, Tarado," I muttered between gritted teeth.
"Hola Hermosa." Wang sat opposite me at my usual table at the hospital coffee shop.
I blinked and cleared my racing mind before I plastered on a smile. "Jimmy, I had no idea you were on this side today."
"I rotate..." Wang trailed off and wore a confused expression. "What's wrong? You called me Jimmy and that is not normal."
I hadn't even realized what I referred to Wang as. Other than Leo, I didn't share mine and Mitchell's issues with anyone else and I wanted to keep it that way. I took in a breath and sipped on my coffee. "Nowak is the human version of a migraine."
"He's still on your ass about everything?"
"The sun would rise from the west if he wasn't."
Wang looked at me sympathetically and placed a hand over mine. "I'm sorry, Mils. I hate seeing you so... un-Mila-like. Back in Boston, you always had so much life."
"And now I'm dead?" I teased.
"Pretty much."
"Thanks," I softly chortled at Wang's attempt to cheer me up. "It feels like forever since I've seen or spoken to you, Wing Wang. I mis-"
"Hello, Frienleagues." My words were cut off when Kiara took a seat next to Wang.
"Freinleagues?" I raised a brow.
"Friend slash colleague. Jim and I made up the word."
Jim? When did they get that close? It feels like I only introduced them yesterday.
"Anway, I can't sit long, I'm in a hurry. I wanted to give you guys my wedding invitation before I get back to work." Kiara placed a fairly large square envelope decorated in gold and maroon in front of each of us. "It's in October and you guys are invited for everything."
Kiara and I got along really well, she was my closest friend at work but lately, I hadn't seen or spoken much to her.
"And you're welcome to extend the invitation to your significant others," Kiara grinned.
"Others?" I repeated and looked incredulously at Wang. "Am I missing something?"
I couldn't believe my eyes when Wang blushed. "Dante and I have been on a couple of dates."
Dante was one of the interns on my team, we got along fine and he was a nice guy. I introduced him to Wang shortly after Kiara but hadn't an inkling that they were even friends let alone dating.
"When did this happen?" Surprise was evident in my tone.
"About three weeks back," Kiara replied on Wang's behalf.
"Wait, you know all the details?" I asked Kiara.
"Yeah, Dante and I have also been on a double date with Kiki and Rishi," Wang replied. "You've gotta meet him, he's one of the funniest guys."
He even has a nickname for Kiara. And who is Rishi?
"Rishi's my fiancé, I hope you'll get a chance to meet him before the wedding," Kiara said to me. "And since we're on the topic, please could you guys' RSVP by the first week of September. I need to finalize catering."
"You can count me in for all the functions," Wang smiled. "I can't wait to apply a henna tattoo with the words bridal party."
My mind was fuzzy with all the information I took in. I felt like a third wheel between two longtime friends and if I was honest, it made me a little bitter. Wang was my closest friend and I got a little jealous to see his extra close bond with Kiara.
"Um, functions?" I said to Kiara.
"She's desi, weddings last a week," Wang replied on her behalf. "But it's a week filled with fun, dance, music, and delicious food."
"Desi?" I frowned.
"Jim's been around Rishi way too much, Desi means Indian." Kiara rolled her eyes at Wang. "There are a couple of pre-wedding functions that lead up to the day. I understand if you can't attend all but I'd appreciate it if you came to at least one."
I smiled and hid the slight bitterness I felt. "I wouldn't miss it, I just need to check my diary."
"Yes, of course." Kiara stood. "I've got to get back to work, I'll see you later."
"Toodles." Wang waved his fingers at her.
"So," I drawled. "You guys have gotten pretty close? And why am I just finding out about Dante?"
"Well, you've kind of been MIA since Mitch moved here," Wang muttered. "I've barely seen or spoken to you in a long time."
I sighed and felt guilty for neglecting one of my best friends. "I'm sorry, I've been a shitty friend and there's no excuse for that."
"No, I get it." Wang smiled. "You're in L.O.V.E and I bet you and Mitch had a lot to catch up on after all that distance."
I didn't want to talk about Mitchell or our relationship. "Forget about that, fill me in on all the details about you and Dante. This is such exciting news, I'm so happy for you!"
"Thanks, Mils," Wang blushed and I laughed at how cute he looked. "But rain check, I've got to run. Let me know when you're free and we can catch up sometime."
I was a little disheartened but understood. I nodded and grinned before Wang hurriedly said goodbye and left. I sat by myself until I finished my coffee and croissant before I got up to leave but just as I did, my phone rang.
"Mitch?" I frowned but also grew anxious seeing his name. Mitchell never just called when I was at work because he understood that I was busy but he also hadn't called since our fight.
"Hello?"
"Mila, I hope you aren't busy?" Mitchell hurriedly spoke over the noise in the background.
"No, I'm on a break. Is everything alright?"
"Yes, all good. I'm just calling to let you know I'll be in LA for a few days."
I frowned. "Is everything okay back home?"
"Yeah, it's work-related but I should be back by next week sometime. I didn't want to leave without letting you know."
"When do you leave?"
"In a bit," Mitchell replied. "I'm currently at the airport."
"So soon?" My heart sank thinking I wouldn't be able to see him.
"Yeah, I'm - hold on a sec," Mitchell paused for a long minute. "Kelsey is trying to call. I'll talk to you later."
"Sure, have a safe flight, I lo-" Before I could finish my sentence the line went dead.
"Love you," I completed as I stared at the phone screen. I took in a deep breath and exhaled through my lips. "It really hasn't been my week."
A/N Do you guys think Mitchell's reaction was fair? And do you think Mila deserves the isolation or is everyone being a little too harsh?
You'll get Mitchell's POV next.
Let me know your thoughts,
Till then,
Tina