Y/n pov-
FUCK I AM SO AWKWARD WHY AM I LIKE THIS
So basically what happened is
My crush also known as Billie ellish JUST walked passed me and WE HELD EYE CONTACT FOR LIKE A GOOD MINUTE
I got so nervous and um
I FELL
IN FRONT OF HER
(Please tell me that you guys are also like this with ur crushes😀)
She just looked at me and chuckled
Fuck.
Okay so u are probably who is Billie ellish
Billie ellish is the most coolest person here
No, not popular. Well that too but cool
Everyone is scared of her but not because she is mean
She is, when she needs to be
But she is not the bully type
Actually she helps people a lot it's just that she is fucking intimidating and of course hot as fuck
She has this power she radiates
I look up to her a lot
She wears whatever the fuck she wants
In her words
"I wear the fuck I want, when I want to feel sexy I wear something sexy. It's my business"
And that's when I knew I had a big fat embarrassing crush on her
Compared to her and her big ass friend group I look so innocent
They go out every night
Drink probably stay out all night
She has a really big friend group.
Everybody wants to be her friend
Not only because she is cool also because she seems like such a good friend
And then there is me
Who stays inside all the time and basically has no friends
If I am being honest I'll be surprised if she even KNOWS my name
Despite all the coolness, you'll think she will not care about studies but she does
She is really fucking smart
Like really
I dont get it HOW is she AMAZING at everything
Someone explain please
I heard she sings as well
But I am guessing it's gossip but for real if she does sing I bet she sounds like an angel
Oh and the way she hasn't EVER been in a relationship like everyone in our school DROOLS over her, and everyone knows that she is bi but she hasn't shown interest in anyone or has even been a little intimate with anyone at least that I know of
Of course there are rumours that she is dating someone that is not in our school
But me and my stupid brain likes to think those are just rumours
"Mrs y/n? What are u thinking about" I hear my stupid biology teacher say
"None of ur business" I mumble rolling my eyes
What has gotten to me today
I don't know I guess I am tired of her bullshit
"How dare u talk to me like that!" She exclaims
"Like what?" I roll my eyes like the 5th time
"And now u are talking back, DETENTION TODAY FINAL" she screams
I groan mentally slapping my self
I could have easily gone home today
Fuck my life.
Time skip
After the stupid day was over I was making my way to my locker finally happy that the day is over but again I still have detention
"Miss y/n did u forget u have detention" miss may says
I HATE THIS BITCH
"Don't worry miss may I am just going there" I say slamming my locker shut as I walk over to the room
As soon as I go in my eyes scanning over the room
Not really seeing anyone there
Until by eyes land on this girl sitting on the side
Wait
Billie?
Don't tell I am Going to he stuck for an hour with BILLIE
I can't even be around her for a minute without embarrassing my self
"Miss y/n please go sit down, do whatever homework or work that Is uncompleted. I'll let u go in an hour" mrs may smiles
Even her smile is evil
I sigh sitting down as far AWAY from Billie as I can so I don't embarrass my self
( 20 - 25 mins later)
Its been like 20 minutes or something and I just sketching something in my art book
My eyes often look of to my side to see what Billie is doing
She is either om her phone or completing some work
I don't know
I really haven't has the guts to even say a Word to her EVER
I sigh as I fix the stupid eye that I messed up of this stupid creature I am drawing because of my annoying thoughts
"Cool drawing" I hear from beside me
Totally catching me off guard
I look to my right and I see Billie looking at my drawing
AHHH SHE IS TALKING TO ME
ACT NATURAL
"T-thanks?" I say giving her a small smile
WAS THAT TOO WEIRD
THIS IS ALL MISS MAYS FAULT
"So why are u here?" She says sitting back
I look at her
Which makes me scan her outfit
damn she always looks so fucking cool I can never
When I wear baggy shirts like that I just look bad i don't know but I don't look like THAT
Unfortunately my insecure ass can only wear baggy shirts
She also has like 10 chains around her neck
Fuck her chains are so hot
Get ur shit together y/n
"I talked back to miss may" I say chuckling at that stupid reason
"Damn, I hate that Bitch" I hear Billie chuckle
"I know right!" I say
Almost Forgetting it's BILLIE I am talking to
Should I ask her why is she here
I don't want to be invasive
Fuck it I really want to keep talking to her
"So why are u here" I ask trying to act totally natural and nonchalant as possible
"Said fuck in mr Williams class" she laughs
Which makes me look at her weirdly
"That's it?" I say raising an eyebrow
"Exactly he is such a pussy" she laughs shaking her head
Her laugh is so cute
It makes me smile
I shake my head laughing looking down back at my drawing
"Yo" I hear Billie say as she drags her chair closer to mine
STAY BACK STAY BACK
(WHY IS THIS ME AOMSKSDM)
she is making me CRAZY
I STAY AS FAR AWAY AS POSSIBLE AND SHE IS COMING WAY TO CLOSER
I feel my breath hitch as I see her like RIGHT next to me
Like touching shoulders next to me
I look at her
"Tell me more about this drawing" she says pointing to the random ass creature
"Oh that, it's just a random drawing i-i don't know" I shrug
"Can I see ur other drawings?" She asks her crystal blue eyes looking up at me
I feel immediately intimated even though she asked in such a soft voice
Her stare is just intimidating
How can I say no
"S-sure" I smile giving it to her
no one has ever looked at my drawings
The fact that HER of all people is looking at them is making me shit my pants
Like I am for real shitting my pants right now
Wait I second
I DREW HER ONCE IN THIS
WHAT IF SHE SEES THAT
Y/N YOU ARE FUCKED
My eyes widen as I see her getting close to it
"What the fuck I think this one is my favourite like damn" she smiles looking at the weird creature in front of her that I painted a while back
"Uh thank you but can you pl-" I was about to say before she comes to the page of my drawing of her
FUCK WHY ARE U LIKE THIS DAMN
it's not anything weird it's just one time I was bored and wanted to draw an angel soo...
IT IS WEIRD
She looks up at me with one of her eyebrow raised
"Is that me? " she asks looking back down at it
"Y-yeah, look I am so s-sorry it's nothing weird its just that u are really p-pretty and I was bored and unmotivated and I saw u and if you are weirded out that to-" I ramble
"Hey chill, I love it" she says
"You do?" I question genuinely surprised
"Yeah of course, no one has ever drew me before. And fuck this looks amazing" she smiles
"Thank you" I smile widely
SHE LIKES IT ISMDKD
"Can I have it? " she asks looking up at me
SHE WANTS MY STUPID DRAWING
BRO HAVE ANYTHING U WANT
LEGIT
"O-ofcourse, I mean it is, you" I smile
She laughs taking that page
"Okay kids it's time for u to go back, be careful and respectful next time" Mr William comes in
if I be honest I wanted to talk to her more
I know I'll never have the guts to do it again
Unless she her self wants to which is very less likely
At least she has my drawing now
I see her pick her bag up and go towards the door
I sigh picking mine up
"Y/n" I hear her say
She knows my name?
I didn't tell her my name
HOW DOES SHE KNOW MY NAME
Probably heard it from miss may I tell my self
"Yeah?" I smile
"U seem cool, me and my friends are meeting tomorrow at 7pm in the alley on the backside of school, wanna join? We'll smoke weed, chill nothing much" she smiles
DID SHE JUST INVITE ME TO GO WITH HER AND HER FRIENDS
Y/NNNN THIS IS UR DREAM
MAYBE MISS MAY ISN'T THAT BAD
"Yeah sure" I reply trying to act nonchalantly totally oblivious to the fact that I am blushing like crazy
"Cool, see u tomorrow" she winks as I see her leave
THE WINK
Fuck WHAT DID I GET INTO
Time skip ( the next day after school)
I AM FREAKING OUT
First of all their day was SOO long
It just never seemed to end
But now that it's over
I HAVE TO MEET BILLIE
AND HER FRIENDS
Now look I was very excited at first but that I remembered that is awkward as fuck
I do not, DO NOT do good with new people
And her friends won't like me because I don't even like alcohol like I tried it ONCE and it was horrible and swore ill never do it again
But I don't judge anyone who does it
It's their choice what they do.
They are all too cool for me and I don't even know how to make conversation
AND of course I Have to see billie again
Which just makes me wanna melt inside the earth and never come back
I really really didn't want to go but I told myself I should try new things
She invited me at 7 but I got there at 7:20 ish since I didn't want to be SO early that it's embarrassing and not SO late that it's rude
Maybe I am over thinking this
But This is something we need to overthink
I probably already made her think I am weird with how much I was blushing last time
I stand at the end of the alley way
Already hearing the laughter
Even though I only focus on a particular one
Billie's of course
I AM SO NERVOUS
Why do I get my self in this situation
Like I am grateful that billie thinks I am cool enough to come hang out with her
And the universe is trying to get Me with billie
But damn this is nerve racking
I take a deep breath as i walk closer the to group of people
Even though my eye sight is shit and I am not wearing glasses I still see billie's beautiful smile
I see her eyes move over to me as she continues smiling
She cutely wave overs to me and immediately the whole groups eyes just go on me
There is like 6-7 people there
AHHH EVERYONE IS LOOKING AT ME
I awkwardly walk up to them
This is already so fucking awkward
"Oh hey y/n" billie says walking over to me
"Guys this is y/n, and y/n there are my friends" billie says looking at them
I see them all look at billie at a very teasing way
Weird but I brush it off
"Sup y/n" I hear everyone say
I smile "hey" I say
WAS THAT WEIRD
I DON'T KNOW
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT'S WEIRD ANYMORE
it's been a few minutes and I feel like I am already embarrassing my self
"I am glad u could come" I hear billie whisper in my ear as everyone goes back to whatever they were doing
"Yeah of course" I smile
As I feel butterflies
"You wanna shot " one of billie's friends say which I think her name is Zoe
"No sorry I dont-" I smile guilty
They probably thinks I am such a pussy
"It's okay I don't do that shit either" billie says looking over to me
"You don't?" I say
"Nope never been interested, why dont you?" She asks
"I tried it once and well it wasn't.. Umm.. How do I say it.. It was really embarrassing and I ended up at the school newspapers, and I got expelled" I laugh recalling the god awful memories of my old school
Billie looks at me wide eyes
"Damn what did u do that bad" one of billie's friend
Denis I assume say
I look over at them and see them all looking at me
"Yeah what did u do that embarrassing that u fucking got expelled" billie says
I laugh shaking my head before starting the embarrassing story
"So basically what happened was, I used to go in a all girls Catholic school
I am not catholic nor are my parents. But we were new and had no choice, weirdly enough they had these underground parties, I was one in my life invited to these underground parties by one of my friend at the time. I was never really invited anywhere before so I knew I had to go, yk just to make some memories. I ended up trying some alcohol there and my dumbass thought it would be fun to try and karaoke with my god awful voice, long story short I ended up seeing a video of me singing and dancing to 'I am sexy and I know it' and it ended up going to the principal who kicked me out" I laugh
Everyone suddenly erupts in laughter
"What the fuck, now I can imagine u dancing to that song " billie laughs holding her stomach
"Trust me you don't want to see the video" I laugh embarrassingly
"U HAVE THE VIDEO?!!" Zoe screams laughing
"Of course I do" I smirk
"U BETTER SHOW US" billie says
"No no it's too embarrassing" I laugh
"Pleaseee y/nnn" billie looks at me
How can I say no to her
Fuck her for being so cute
"Fineee" I drag rolling my eyes as I try and find the video
Well here goes nothing
"Here it is" I smile as I click on it
Everyone forms a group around me to watch the video
I blush embarrassingly at my self
I am literally standing on the mic in one hand and shoes in the other as I LITERALLY THRUSTING THE AIR AND SINGING I AM SEXY AND I KNOW IT WHAT
It thankfully ends
"Y/N THAT IS GOLD WHAT THE FUCK" billie laughs
"HAHA LOOK AT THE GUY IN THE BACK" someone points out
We all erupt in laughter at that guys awkward judgemental stare
"And that is why I swore to NEVER drink again" I say as the laughter dies down
"Understandable" everyone agrees
After a while of hanging out we decided to say out good byes
Damn I didn't even realize it's been hours
It's like 11pm now damn
I text my mom
Mother
Mom ill be home soon don't be worried
Read at 11:05
Sure sweetie glad u are having fun ;)
🙄yeah yeah love u bye
Love u to🥰
Read at 11:10
"Bye y/n, be sure to join us next time it was fun" Zoe laughs as she winks at billie
"Yeah of course" I smile
THEY LIKED MEEEE WOHOO
"Billie why don't u walk y/n home I think it's pretty late" one of billie's friend I think bruno says smirking at billie
"N-no it's okay guys, I can go by myself" I smile looking down
"Of course not, he is right it's really late. Ill walk u home" she says
"But you'll have to get home too" I sigh
"Oh don't worry, where do u live y/n" Zoe says
"Umm on the 10th street" I say
"Yeah billie lives there too, it's perfect" she smiles
"Well then okay" I smile
"Bye!" They all smile leaving just me and billie
JUST ME AND BILLIE
well this is going to be fun
I already feel my self sweating
"They like u a lot" billie smiles as we are walking
"I like them too, it was fun" I mirror her beautiful smile
"I know we haven't laughed this much in such a long time" billie says
"The way u danced on that table is never going to leave my mind now" billie laughs
"Oh no" I laugh
"That was just too embarrassing" I laugh shaking my head
"Nah it was gold, they are lucky there asses got to see that. If I saw someone doing that I was join them" billie says
"AND u did that in a Catholic school " she laughs
"Fucking amazing" she says
We both laugh
Her mesmerising smile almost make me forgot how fucking cold it is
My dumbass didn't even bring a jacket
I feel my self shiver which makes billie look over at me
"Are u cold?" She asks
"No it's okay" I smile lying
It is cold I am so fucking cold but I didn't want to bother her
Without warning I feel her jacket go over my shoulders
"Y-you don't have to" I say
"No it's okay trust me, plus I am wearing something underneath it's all good" she smiles
"Thank you" I say genuinely
This was so nice to see a new side of billie
Normally I haven't seen her like this she doesn't talk as much as doesn't smile as much but when she does it's always beautiful
And I am grateful too see this side of her now
After a while of peaceful silence billie speaks up
"Y/n?" She says
"Yeah" I say looking over to her
"What do u think of me?" She asks looking down
Almost as she is nervous
Billie as nervous?
I have NEVER seen her be nervous
She is usually very confident
And Boy where do I start about how amazing she is
I was a bit taken back but I decide to he truthful
"Umm its kind of embarrassing but I look up to u a lot" I say blushing
"You do?" She asks looking at me e
"Yeah I mean u are just so fucking cool, u radiate this powerful energy around no wonder how everyone is intimated you and don't get me started on how confident u are and u don't give a fuck about what people think and u always is just you. That's just some of the things that made me have such a big cr" I ramble before I stop my self slapping my mouth close wide eyed
Y/N FUCK YOU WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
OH MY GOD
U JUST GOT BE FRIENDS WITH HSR AND NOW U ARE TELLING HER U LIKE HER??!!
FUCK
SHE IS GOING TO BE SO FREAKED OUT
PLEASE HOPE SHE DIDN'T HEARD IT PLEASE GOD
PLEASE UNIVERSE
"You what?" Billie says stopping me
"Uh n-nothing, I was just I a-admire ur confidence" I stutter
Fuck I suck at lying
"No no that's not what u said though" sue smirks getting closer to me
I look to my right and see my house
THANK FUCK
"Oh- look my house I'll just leave now thank you for inviting me" I ramble as I try to make my way to my house
But I was stopped by Billie grabbing my wrist softly but strong enough for making me look back at her
"Ah no no, not before u finish you sentence baby" she says as she licks her beautiful lips
SHE LOOKS SO INTIMIDATING RIGHT NOW
I feel my self whimper under her stare
"I-i promise i-it was N-nothing" I stutter yet again
Great situation u got ur self in y/n
"Do u have a crush on me" she says raising an eyebrow as she moves closer to me
I look To her wide eyed
"Ah of course n-not" I chuckle dryly long through my teeth
"You are sure u don't" she says getting so close that I feel her hot breath on my lips
I shake my head
"Words" she says
"N-no" l lie yet again
I FEEL MY LEGS GOING TO JELLY
DON'T BLAME ME HER STARE IS MAKING ME SHIT MY PANTS OKAY
"Are u nervous y/n?" She asks
Her face inches apart
YES BILLIE OF COURSE I AM WHAT
"Y-yeah" I admit out of nowhere
"I am going to kiss you right now, okay?" She whispers softly looking up at me
WHAT IS HAPPENING WJDMD
I nodd as my breath hitches
Before I can comprehend anything I feel her lips on mine
Y/N Y/N Y/N WHAT KWNEKSMDD UNIVERSE I LOVE YOU
THANK YOU THANK YOU
you know those cheesy movies when characters get there first kiss and those stupid fire works go off I'm the background that's what I feel like right now
Pure magic
We both pull away after a minute of pure magic
"You don't know how fucking long I wanted to do that for" Billie says
"W-what" I say surprised
WHAT
"Oh u are so innocent y/n" she laughs
"I have liked u for the longest time I can remember, the first day u came in this school last year u immediately caught my attention" Billie says I look at her ima shocked face
BECAUSE WHAT THE FUCK
"I legit wanted to talk to you and tried to talk to u so many times, Zoe and the gang was so tired of my ass talking about u all the time. That's why I wasn't really Interested in anyone but you, and when I saw u in detention I finally build up some courage to talk to you" she laughs
"BILLIE WHAT" I scream
"What?" She laughs
"I have had a big fat crush on you since I saw u" I said
"U DID?" she says genuinely surprised
"HOW CAN I NOT? U WERE LEGIT THE COOLEST PERSON EVER" I screams
"HOW? WHY DIDNT U TELL ME" she screams back
"YOU THINK I, ME , AWKWARD ME WOULD TALK TO U? YOU AND UR FRIENDS ARE SO COOL I WAS LEGIT HAVING A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN WHEN I CAME HERE AND WHEN U TALKED TO ME LEGIT WENT HOME AND SCREAMED INTO A PILLOW" I say wide eyed
"I DID THE SAME, THEY WERE LEGIT TEASING ME BEFORE U CAME HERE " Billie laughs
Which makes me laugh
"Damn we are embarrassing" we both say at the same time
"Well now that THAT'S over with, will u be mine?" She says
"Of course I would love too" I smile
YOU ARE HER GIRLFRIEND
Y/N BILLIES GIRLFRIEND
WHAT THE FUCK
HOW DID U FINNESE THIS MAYBE ALL THE MANIFESTING I DID
We both kiss one more time before exchanging numbers and saying our good byes
Today was AMAZING WHAT
Well u can guess how many people were surprised when the next day Billie came up to me and kissed me in the hallway
Everyone was shocked, I heard whispers all around me and some were even Whistling
We were the talk of the school for like months and months
But I wouldn't have it any other way
I love that girl
_________________________________________
THIS WAS SO LONG DAMN MY FINGERS HURT
BUT PLEASE TELL ME YOU GUYS ARE THIS OVER THINKER AND EMBARRASSING AROUND UR CRUSH AJNDKSND
anywayssssss
I am updating a lot here lol
Idky
But enjoyyy😀😀😀
Love y'all byeyeyee
ALSO UNCHECKED JWNSKK