"Yes, she and my family are in town for my football game, and to see me of course. I've been visiting them at the hotel. There is no other girl, Elizabeth." His voice was rid of humor, he was serious, and I was the only girl.
And this only girl feels like a fool.
"Had to make sure. So, what do you want to talk about." I say, trying to change the subject, it works.
"I want to talk about you and me."
My heart tightens, "What about us?"
And I can tell from the painful look on his face, and the way the breath from his body staggered that the words he was about to say were hard to form, "We can't. . .resume what we have. The sleeping around, I want it to stop."
I clutch the railing behind me, holding onto it for dear life, if I didn't, I felt I would fall over.
"Why? I thought what we had going was fine."
He looks at his shoes, "It was, but I don't want anything more with you. Messing around was the drive, the sex, mostly. Then things started to become more serious. You're. . .distracting me from my studies, I seem to can't focus."
What!
Realization hits me. That's why he wasn't talking to me and ignoring me, he didn't want me anymore.
Anger seeps into my bloodstream, "So, I'm a distraction then? You only wanted sex from me, and once you got it, you're done with me, discarding me like old bones."
"It's not like that."
"Yes, it is!" I bite back the tears that threaten to leave my eyes. "I was just another lay to you. All those things you said to me, I lean closer to him, "when we were having sex, all those things you said to me, whispered against my skin, that was all a joke." He keeps looking at his shoes. "Look. At. Me."
He does, and his eyes are void.
"This is low, Andreas, fucking low, even for you. I know you're hurt after what happened to Jessie-"
"This has nothing to do with her." His voice was dark.
"Oh, I think it does. After she broke your heart, danced on it, and threw it away, you've sworn away women. I get it, it's hard to start something that hurt you, I was the same way with driving."
"And yet you still don't drive." I ignore the jab he made and focus on what I'm trying to get out.
"I know you love me; you don't have to say it, I can feel it. The way you touch me, and when you kiss me, it isn't simple, it's so passionate and overpowering that it makes my head explode. I know you feel it too. Don't keep yourself away from being happy for something that happened years ago."
"I. Don't. Want. You." He says every word, and every word cuts me like a knife to the heart.
He walks away, and I scream something at him that I know I will come to regret, "I-"
My voice breaks off, the words are stuck in my throat, I'm trying to push them out, but the sternness of his back muscles makes me stop.
He stops in his tracks, hands clamped together, creating crescent moons in his palms, without turning around to me, he says, "What is it, Elizabeth?"
I bite my lip, trying to tame whatever emotions deep in my core. He turns to me, eyes blazing like he wants me to say it first, needs me to say it first. "I- I- lo-"
He walks slowly up to me, every step sends a stutter down my spine, my body is on fire, I need water. "What is it, E?"
I shake my head, "Nothing, I was saying nothing."
His jaw tightens, "Whatever you were going to say, I think it's a good thing you didn't. The feelings you have for me aren't reciprocated." Then, he walks away.
Breaking.
Bending.
Shattered.
Andreas Chen has officially broken me, and I don't think I can be fixed.
✏️✏️✏️✏️
Doug ended up winning his match, he's going to state. I was so happy for him, truly, I put a smile on my face as I congratulated him. This is a happy time; my own personal feelings will not bring down the mood.
Everyone decides to go out to eat, but I don't, instead, I tell them that I'm sick and go on home. Andreas didn't look my way the whole time, he looked at everyone else as if I didn't even exist like I wasn't even standing there.
He's so cold, so ruthless. I don't know why he's like this.
The way he held me in the kitchen, his fingers combing through my hair, that's the Andreas I want, not this one. This one is stoic, and rude, and likes to break innocent girls' hearts.
✏️✏️✏️✏️
As I walk up to Bridget's room, my phone rings.
"Hello," I say into the phone.
"Is this Elizabeth Pratt?"
"Yes, this is she."
"Fantastic, I am calling to tell you we have a room available at Foothill Hall, we know that you're on a list for needing a room. Would you like to claim it?"
I don't hesitate with my answer, "Yes, I will take it."
"Perfect! Let us handle the paperwork, you can move in as early as this Monday."
"That's great, thank you." I hang up the phone.
I sit on the edge of the bed, texting Jill the great news.
JILL: YAYYYYY! I'VE BEEN WANTING TO BE NEAR YOU, IMAGINE WHAT WE CAN DO. ALL THE MOVIE NIGHTS, AND WE CAN PLAY BOARD GAMES. WHAT DO YOU LIKE BETTER: MONOPOLY OR CANDY LAND?
I laugh at the text; Jill is the only person I know who would own board games. As I sit on the edge of the bed, the phone blows up with text messages.
Bling. The phone.
Bang. My heart.
✏️✏️✏️✏️
I don't know how, but I manage to drag myself to the Alpha's frat house. My hand raps on the door. I look up to see a blow-up sex doll on the roof with frosting on her nipples, what the actual hell.
I don't have time to contemplate it more once the door opens. A white guy with Grey sweats and a black t-shirt opens the door. He's got an ice cream in one hand, staring at me like I interrupted something.
"What do you need, pretty lady." It didn't come out perverted, more of a country accent, and meant to be endearing.
"I was wondering, is Cross in?"
He nods his head, "Up the stairs, right down the hall, the last door."
He moves out the way, letting me in, "Thank you."
"Hey, you fuckers have better not have started that movie without me!" He screams to some people in the living room. I quietly shut the door.
I follow his directions, walking down the narrow hall, to the last door. I knock on it, waiting impatiently.
He opens the door and looks shocked, "Eliza, what are you doing here?" He wears no shirt, and black pajama pants hang on his hips. He looks like he just woke up. I hear his TV playing behind him, a girl lays on his bed.
"I didn't know where else to go. But I see you have company, I can go." I try to walk away, but he holds me in place.
"No, you need me or you wouldn't have come all this way. Connie's cool, she won't mind." He says, pointing to the half-naked girl on the bed, half his cover draped over her torso, showing me her back tattoo.
"Ok." My voice was small, and right in the middle of the hall, I break down into a hysterical cry.
He pulls me into his chest, not saying anything, but holding me like a small child as I let out every emotion I've been holding in since I've gotten the bad news from Andreas.
How could he do this to me? I can't only blame him, but myself also. I let myself be led on; I knew he didn't want anything more. I was a fool, an in-love fool.
Elizabeth Pratt was played for a fool, by no other than UC Berkeley's play toy, Andreas Chen.