I'm late today.
My biostatics class starts in 20 minutes, and I've got one shoe on my foot and a pore strip on my nose. My mother always gets on me about taking care of myself, even though I'm a man, I should still do proper care routines.
Standing by the front door is Mr. Pratt, phone in hand and a look of concern on his face.
"Hey, is everything alright?" I asked, leaning against the wall to put on my other shoe.
He stares at me, "I could ask the same thing about you. Late?"
"Very."
"Well, can you spare me 5 minutes?" He asked, opening the front door for both of us.
I would tell him no, but sometimes I find myself being scared of Mr. Pratt, and I guess I have 5 minutes to spare. I know I'll hear Megan's mouth today.
"Sure." I walk out the door, he follows behind shutting the door gently.
The weather is nice today, it's warm with cool breezes. Thank God for that, I have football practice later today and it's a bitch when it's hot out. I also think it will be good for Topolski, the guy swells up like a red tomato under the sun.
"I need to talk to you about something serious, and don't bullshit me."
I straighten, "I would never. Ask away."
He exhales a long breath, "How long have you been messing around with my daughter?"
"Bridget?" I question.
"You know I'm not talking about Bridget, the little one with the foul mouth." He says, being more specific.
"Ah, I figured you found out when I placed my hand on her back," I confess.
"And when she came out of your room with nothing but your shirt and underwear, I put two and two together. Elizabeth thinks herself being a good liar, but I know her like the back of my hand."
Oh fuck.
This is extremely awkward. Out of all the girls I've slept with, none of their fathers came to me and asked was I sleeping with them. I like and respect Mr. Pratt, and lying to him is something I'd never do. We've always had simple conversations, talking about football and classes, but this, this is a whole new part of our relationship.
"I don't know what to say."
He puts up a hand, "Don't, just listen to me."
I nod.
"When I found out I was having another daughter, I thought my heart was going to explode. Bridget was already a handful, and she was only 3 years old. Having a son is much easier, they don't get hurt easily, not like girls. You give them a condom, tell them to watch their back and everything is good, but daughters, a whole other world."
"They are more emotional, and the world's prey. Girls like Bridget and Elizabeth, beautiful rich girls, they can get taken advantage of really easily. I was scared for them, every time they left the house or went out of town with friends, I would sit by the window, by the phone, waiting for them to call, begging me to come and get them, but they never did."
He gulps, "Then when Elizabeth got into a car accident, I thought I would die. I thought she was dead, my heart felt heavy and I couldn't breathe, it was the first time I had a panic attack, Marlo explained to me. Thank the lord she came out with only bruises, so what I thought. Her bruises were internal, and as her father, her protector, I couldn't heal them. No Neosporin could help what she had. At one point, she wouldn't so much as walk near a car, she chopped up her driver's license and threw it away."
"Over the months, she got better and was able to ride in cars and not feel like she was going to swell up and die. My heart was elated, but eventually, it deflated. When Bridget left for college, I was scared for her but knew that she would be ok. Bridget has a certain. . .personality that she can handle people and difficult situations, I wasn't as afraid for her, but Elizabeth was a whole other thing. She was my youngest, my baby."
"In some ways, she's inexperienced. I know my daughter isn't a virgin, she had boyfriends what else would they be doing. And she thought I didn't see when she would hide condoms in her room. I didn't say anything, it's her body I have no jurisdiction over that, as long as she was safe, I was kind of fine with it. Sending her to college was scary for me, she was vulnerable in my eyes. She might come off as strong and sometimes a sarcastic ass, but she feels with her whole body. And when she hurts, it's something you never want to see, the look of pain across her face, it's haunts me at night."
"Sir, I would never hurt Elizabeth, trust me. I respect and love her too much to do that."
He looks at me surprised, "You love her?"
Oh wow, I guess I do. All the time I've spent with her, having sex and talking, I never thought it would lead down the road of me falling in love with her. But when she confessed to me in the kitchen about her car crash, and to see the tears in her eyes, it made my heart ache, and I realized something now: I never want to see her cry again, and I never want to be without her, it would hurt me too much.
I love her.
I love Elizabeth Pratt with every fiber in my being. And I would soon see to those fibers being ripped from my body if I ever stopped loving her if I ever hurt her.
"I do."
He smirks, "That, right there, is the problem. Love. It's a complicated matter, Andreas, one I don't think you understand. Elizabeth is someone to not be trifled with, and since you love her, you won't be looking to hurt her."
"No, I wouldn't."
"That's why I want you to break things off with her."
I look at him, bewildered. Break things off? I wish it was that easy, leaving Elizabeth would be like ripping out my tongue, too painful.
"I don't think I can do that, Mr. Pratt."
"Look, I know about Jessie. Monica told me everything. She hurt you, in a way that I don't think anyone would ever understand. Pain, Andreas, can rule over the emotions. It makes you say things, do things you wouldn't normally do, it's a dangerous emotion. I'm assuming you're not looking to eventually date my daughter, but just to stay the man she messes around with in the dead of night, am I correct?"
It takes every fiber in my being to bite my tongue, and instead say yes to his question. My fist balls up at my side, while my teeth grind themselves into powder dust. When he says it like that, it sounds so wrong and dirty.
"I promise you this, Andreas, Elizabeth will want more from you. She will want to dress pretty, paint her nails, and be taken on a fancy date. She'll want to hold hands with you and have late-night talks on the couch. She's a romantic, and you keeping her in the dark, hiding her behind your back, it will take a strain on her."
"She said she was fine with what we had." My words come out choked.
"Yes, she probably said it to keep you. She will never tell you what she wants, she doesn't want to lose you. Elizabeth will bend to someone's will, to be happy, it's one of her worst traits. She's smart and determined to be great, and without the distraction of men, she will be great, victorious even. Why do you think her mother and I named her Elizabeth. It was after Elizabeth the first, the Queen of England. She was strong, and never backed down, and that's what I want for my daughter. I want her to do the bending, not the other way around." He turns his back to me, looking up at the sky. "She's a bird, a hawk, a tiger. Not a jellyfish or ant."
"Sir, I-"
"I'm still talking Andreas." I shut my lips. "If you're not looking to make it something more with my daughter, then you need to leave her alone, because you will hurt her, unintentionally, and it will be too late."
He leaves without hearing anything I've got to stay. I look down at my phone, I'm officially late for my class. Instead of jumping in my truck and racing down the street, I walk back into the house, aimlessly walk upstairs, and lay on my bed.
Wallowing in my own pain.
Parting from Elizabeth, I don't think I can do that, I don't want to, I won't, it would be selfish of me to lead her on, knowing it won't be going anywhere.
I can't do that to her.