Even with the four-day weekend while the school started clean up and repairs, Rowan wasn't prepared for school to start again. She was completely and totally overwhelmed by everything; her mom;s overbearing worry, her brother's heartbreak that Rowan could somehow feel like it was her own, the impending doom that came with the realization that the Alpha could and would kill her if he got the chance.
It was all too much.
So, instead of going out with Scott and Stiles to drown herself in alcohol or even finishing her history paper, Rowan decided to try and calm her frayed nerves. Using the tried and true bath and music combo, Rowan started the water and set up her radio hoping to block out the world for just a little while.
Not even her soft purple loofah could scrub off the pain and fear from that night at the school. Not even her favorite song could block out the sound of her heart beating as she ran for her life. Rowan closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Maybe she could drown the memories instead, she thought as she dipped under the surface of the now lukewarm water.
Monday morning came and Rowan found herself tempted to take her mom up on the offer of another day off. Unfortunately, the need for some normality won out and she prepped for school.
She covered her irritated wound with a cardigan and wondered why it hadn't healed yet. The bite had healed practically overnight, why would this be any different? Rowan didn't know, so instead of ruminating she packed her backpack. She looked in her mirror on her way out of her room and decided that having a normal day meant that she should probably cover the dark circles under her eyes with some concealer.
She could do this. Everything would be fine.
Rowan locked the door behind her as she headed to the car with her mom waiting to take her to school. She hopped in and looked at her mom expectantly.
"Are you sure? I'm sure with your dominant hand out of commission, the school will understand you staying home for a few more days." Melissa tried convincing her.
Rowan shook her head. "It's just a little sore, it's not that serious. I can tough it out."
"You had to get stitches. It'll probably scar." Melissa reminds her. "That's serious."
"I feel fine, Mom." Rowan lied.
"If you're sure." Rowan nodded at her mom and took that as the subject dropped. Her mom sighed and backed out of the driveway. Rowan pulled out her phone and ignored the millions of texts from Kayla to look for any sign from Derek. He had promised to let her know if he learned anything new about the Alpha after she told Derek that he completely disregarded her.
Before she knew it, they had pulled into the school parking lot and it all came rushing back. Memories of that night played in her head like a horror movie. She could see the monster attacking Derek and the terrified faces of Scott and Stiles. She could feel the overwhelming pain in her arm as the monster dug its claws in and the fear for their lives. Her heartbeat raced faster and her breathing got heavier as she ran. She could vaguely hear a muffled voice saying her name. Tears ran down her face as she struggled to catch her breath. Someone fumbled with something at her feet and put something cold and plastic in her hand. Rowan looked down at it.
Her inhaler.
Rowan hadn't used it in weeks, but kept in on her out of habit. She looked to her left and was met with her mother's worried eyes. The dark forest melted away and she was grounded again. She wasn't being chased by a monster, she was in the car with her mom and everything was okay.
Rowan held her inhaler in her mouth with shaky hands, pressed down on the button, and breathed in. The medicine tasted bitter on her sensitive tongue, but it did the trick. She was grounded further and could finally breathe again. Rowan took deep breaths, like Derek had taught her during their meditation sessions, until she steadied.
She met her mom's teary eyes and relented.
"I want to go home." Rowan begged.
Melissa stayed with her girl for as long as she could, but work calls and an asthma attack is nothing new for either of her twins.
Rowan was content letting her mom think asthma was her only problem.
🐺
Derek's text finally came, asking her to meet him after school but since she was already home, she didn't see the harm in going early.
She ran to the address he sent her and arrived at an old warehouse. She walked through the front and followed the sound of his heartbeat down the stairs and into a basement.
"Where are we and whose junk is this?" Rowan asked, looking around at the dimly lit room. There were two rows of ceiling lights that casted strange shadows on all of the stuff surrounding them; plastic tubes, towers of tires, palettes, barrels, and other shelves full of weird knick knacks. The main attraction, though, was what looked like an old rusty subway car with busted windows and no doors.
Derek whipped around at the sound of her voice, surprised to find her there. He gained composure and stood from the wooden box he was digging through. "It's not just junk." He said and motioned for her to follow him further into the basement but she stayed where she was.
"Oh." Rowan smiled. "So it's your junk."
"Just...just come here." Derek sounded exasperated, amusing Rowan further. She moved from her spot in the doorway and walked to his side in front of the subway car.
"What are we doing here?" She asked.
"It's the full moon tonight."
"Yeah. Trust me, I'm aware."
"Well, you wanted me to be your teacher. Your next lesson is how to get through the full moon without hurting anyone, including yourself."
"You think you can teach me to control the shift?" Rowan asked, confused. "I thought you said it was different for bitten wolves."
"We don't know that for sure. I want to try before assuming anything. First, we'll use some of the techniques I was taught when I first shifted and if they don't work we'll go from there. We'll figure something out."
Rowan studied his determined face. He wasn't just doing this for his own benefit, she realized. He genuinely wanted to help her. She stepped inside the subway car and crossed her arms. "Alright, Mr. Hale, let's do this."
He shook his head at her and fiddled with some chains attached to the metal poles previously used by commuters. Rowan looked around and noticed there were even more attached to seats nearby.
"So, am I standing or sitting?" Rowan asked.
"It's your choice. You need to be as comfortable as you can given the circumstances." Derek said. Rowan nodded and walked past him to get to the seat. He followed and kneeled in front of her. He began attaching the cuffs to her wrists and ankles. "This is going to hurt and you'll probably lose control for the first full moon, but remember that I'm here and even if you do manage to get through the chains, I won't let you hurt anyone."
Rowan didn't have words to convey how grateful she was, so she settled for a simple 'thank you'. He nodded and finished with the cuffs. She rubbed her wrists where the cold metal met her skin while Derek went to the front of the car. He returned with the worst thing Rowan had ever seen. It was a circular piece of metal big enough for a head with pins all the way around it. She didn't know what it was, but she immediately shook her head.
"Absolutely not." She said.
"Rowan-"
"No!" She yelled. "I'm not letting you put that demented headband thing on me."
"It'll help." Derek insisted.
"It'll help what? Give me permanent brain damage? No!" Rowan tried to cross her arms, but the chains attached to her wouldn't let her arms get far enough. She awkwardly dropped her hands into her lap.
"Rowan-" Derek tried again.
"We do it without that thing or we don't do it at all." She said. Derek sighed and put it down, deciding he didn't want to argue anymore. Instead he grabbed a small wooden box and sat down in the seat across the aisle from her. Rowan turned her whole body to face him.
"Well, I have one more thing I hope will help." Derek opened the box, revealing a little circular disk with a swirly symbol on it. She couldn't quite put her finger on where she'd see it before, but remembered when she looked at Derek. It was the same symbol as his huge back tattoo. "It's called a triskele. Each of the spirals has a different meaning. Alpha, beta, and omega. These are the different kinds of werewolves and having them in this shape represents a balance of power. If you feel like you're going to turn, focus on this and remember the mantra, alpha, beta, omega. Okay?"
The seriousness on Derek's face kept her from asking about his tattoo. She nodded at him, just as serious. "Remember that and the meditation we did and maybe it'll be enough to keep you from turning." Derek said.
Rowan carefully took the triskele out of the box and flipped it over in her hand, saying the mantra in her head over and over. Derek leaned back against the wall of the car with his knees up so he could rest his feet on the seat. Rowan mirrored the position across from him.
"Thanks again for all of the help." Rowan said, rubbing her thumb over the symbol thoughtfully.
Derek shrugged. "Someone has to do it. And if you want to actually learn anything it's not going to be from Stiles."
Rowan laughed, and agreed. Stiles was the smartest guy she knew, but even he had trouble with the task of sorting through what was myth and what was real. An unnecessary task, in Rowan's opinion, when they have someone who knows more about being a werewolf than any of them put together.
"I still appreciate it, though." Rowan said. Derek seemed uncomfortable with her gratitude so she left it at that. She fiddled even more with the triskele medallion and waited for the full moon to begin rising.
When the change began, it came with a wave of crazy irrational anger. A headache crashed into her like a wave on the shore and her senses surged with it. It was so quiet in the warehouse that it was almost deafening. Even her pounding heart beating in her ears couldn't cover the sound of Derek's calm on across from her. His eyes were closed and his breathing was slow. Meditating.
Rowan closed her own eyes and repeated the mantra of the triskele in her head repeatedly, but it wasn't working. She could feel claws protruding from her fingertips, clacking against the medallion. She opened her eyes and knew that they were flickering between her normal brown eyes and the werewolf gold. She needed a different approach.
Rowan focused on Derek again. Everything about him was unwavering against the force of the full moon. She found herself matching his breathing. In for four, hold for five, out for six. She was almost in control when the rage hit her again. She screamed out in frustration.
Derek kept his eyes closed, but said in the most soothing voice he could muster. "Everything will be alright."
"No it won't. Not if I can't control this anger." Rowan said through clenched teeth. "Every time I begin to feel in control it's as if something fuels the fire and I'm lost all over again."
Rowan looked at her claws. She didn't want them there, she wanted her pretty green painted nails. She glared at her own hands, only letting up when the claws pulled back in. It was easy, so why wasn't controlling her anger. It wasn't like this last full moon.
Last full moon.
"What are you thinking?" Derek asked.
"Scott." Rowan muttered.
"What about him?"
"It's him." Rowan said, looking into his eyes. "He's the one that's angry. He's so angry."
Derek titled his head, not quite understanding.
"It's Scott. He's going to hurt someone. You need to stop him." Rowan explained. Derek stood up, but hesitated. Rowan tried to reach out, but the chains stopped her. "You have to go find him. I'll be okay here, I promise."
Derek stepped toward the door, but stopped. "I'll be right back, okay? I'll make sure he's alright." He promised. He ran out of the warehouse before she could thank him.
Now all she had to do was resist the full moon. Easy, right?
It was late when Derek finally got back. Rowan beamed at him.
"I did it!" Rowan exclaimed. "I lasted the whole night without fully shifting."
Derek smiled at her and started undoing her chains, warning her. "That doesn't mean that you'll be able to resist every full moon."
"It's a start, though. A step toward normal." Rowan said.
Derek nodded and moved from her wrists to her ankles. He was frowning, though. Was something wrong?
"Are you alright?" She asked.
"Everything's fine." He lied.
"Did something happen with Scott?" Rowan asked. She knew she was on the right track when his frown deepened. He closed his eyes and sighed, letting his face relax.
"Do you trust me?" He asked after a moment, eyes meeting her own.
"I have no reason not to." Rowan said after considering.
"I lied to Scott." Derek admitted. He fiddled with the chains, avoiding her eyes.
"Derek." Rowan said and he looked up at her. "I trust you."