Tw / ed
Lavenders Pov
We waited an hour for Billies driver to arrive and that whole hour Billie cussed Derick out . I however stayed out of it and held onto Billie the whole time laughing every now and then . Finally the very famous mr driver man pulled up and Billie dragged me over to the car leaving Derick behind . We got in the backseat and Billie slammed the door before Derick could get in . I turned my head to the side so she couldn't see me laughing and strapped myself in . Derick got in the passenger seat mumbling something to himself and Billie was huffing and puffing in annoyance . For once I'm the only one not being dramatic . Other than mr driver man who was driving as if the two most dramatic people in the word weren't making the biggest scene . Billie and mines interlocked hands were resting on the middle seat and her thumb was rubbing the back of my hand . She brought our hands up and kissed mine allowing her lips to linger on my hand for a while before setting our hand down in her lap. I smiled and leaned over to kiss her cheek and sat back in my seat looking out the window so she wouldn't see me blushing . Derick started taking to mr driver man about some bullshit and Billie stayed quiet just looking out her window with a mad expression . I have an idea
'Stop being mad stop being mad stop being mad stop being mad stop being mad stop being mad stop stop stop stop'
I poked her cheek repeatedly until she looked at me and pushed my hand off her face and covered my lips with her finger . She sighed closing her eyes and for a moment I thought I pissed her off
'I- I- I'm sorry I just wanted to make you laugh I'm- im-'
'Shhh I'm just messing with you babydoll'
She started laughing lightly and cupped my face . I hate her . She pulled my face over to her and pecked my lips and forehead before resting her forehead against mine . Still mad at her . I pouted and scrunched my eyebrows at her and tried to move my face away from hers . She only chuckled and held my face tighter before rubbing her nose against mine . She knows me too well . I finally stopped resisting and wrapped my arms around her neck to hold her head closer . After a while I pulled away but laid my head on her lap and pulled her hand down to play with her fingers . She allowed me to do this and stroked my hair with her other hand . We stayed like this for the rest of of the drive . I sat up when I felt the car stop to look up at where we where . Olive Garden
'Fuck yeah I love me some Olive Garden'
Billie chuckled and unbuckled her seat belt and mine . Mr driver man opens my door and I got out with Billie following behind me . When we where both out of the car she kissed my cheek and held onto my hand tightly . I started getting a bit worried about having to eat in front of all these damn people I'm just meeting and the small voice saying that I shouldn't eat and that I'm going to look fat while eating was starting to come back . I suppose I was standing there for a while because Billie squeezed my hand making me look up at her
'It's all gonna be alright please don't worry yourself about eating darling . Eat what you can and don't feel pressured to eat more than you want to'
I took a deep breath and smiled at her . I nodded and we started walking up to the building . Derick ran up to us and walked next to me . He opened the door for us allowing Billie and I to go in first . As soon as we walked in Billie waved at a group of people . The group started walking towards us which made me nervous and I held onto Billies hand tighter and moved to hide behind her a bit
'Billie ! Long time no see hun how have you been ?'
'Hi Mark I've been good how are you ?'
'Eh I've been fine . The wife's been driving me up the wall but I'm learning to tune her out . And who's this behind you ?'
I tensed up and prayed that Billie didn't draw any attention to me . And thankfully somebody heard my prayers I suppose because the lady next to him lightly hit him and started talking
'I'm the one driving you up the wall ? What's that suppose to mean Mark ? Hm ?'
Dramaaaaaa
'No-nothing love ...nothing'
The rest of the group next to him laughed including Billie . I thought I was tough to get away with hiding behind her but she lightly tugged on my hand and pulled me to stand next to her . Fuc-
'Everyone this is Lavender . Lavender this is Mark and his wife Margret , John , Bailey and her wife Melissa and Jim . They all work on my set and have since the beginning of the show !'
How the fuck at I suppose to remember all these damn peoples names dear god
'He-hey it's nice to meet y'all...'
I am going to throw up in my mouth I'm so scared right now . Billie laughed and pulled me closer to kiss the top of my head . I held her hand tighter and looked behind me at Derick for help . Thankfully he started talking with everyone until a waitress came over to tell us our table was ready . She walked us over to a more secluded table and we all sat . I sat in between Derick and Billie and quietly listened to everyone's conversation until a different waitress came over
'Hi I'm Daisy and I'll be your waitress for the night . What can I get you guys to drink ?'
Everyone said what they wanted until it was time for me to say what I wanted . My god
'What do you want to drink babydoll'
Thank god for Billie she's gonna order for me
'Diet coke please'
I whispered it to her so the others wouldn't hear that I can't even order for myself . Billie nodded and told the lady . She left and everyone went back to talking . The waitress came back with all our drinks on a tray and a basket of bread sticks . I love breadsticks oh my lord . She set down all our stuff and we wondered what we wanted to eat . I ended up getting a Cesar salad since it felt safest and Billie allowed me to get it . Derick started taking to me and ate breadsticks which made me really want to have one as well but I don't want to eat in front of these people I just met . So I didn't . I just talked with Derick while all the others takes amongst themselves . We talked about different shows and fun stuff while they talked about boring stuff about filming and about their lame lives . Talk about boring . Derick and I talked and laughed and made fun of other people we saw around the restaurant over their ugly outfits . My laugh must have caught billies attention because she looked over at me smiling but rolled her eyes when she saw Derick inhaling the breadsticks
'Slow down Derick save some for the rest of us damn'
He ignored her and continued talking to me and eating . Billie laid a napkin in front of me and placed a breadstick on it . She continued talking with her friends while she did this but I looked up at her slightly nervous . She looked down at me and smiled before taking a small piece and brought it up to my mouth . I ate it and she fed me like this until there was no more and she talked to everyone while doing so . This made me feel less nervous and I wrapped my arm around her to hug her side to say thank you . She wrapped her arm around me as well and kissed my head while rubbing my side . Derick and I went on talking until the food got here . When all our plates where in front of us I felt a bit embarrassed of how my plate looked compared to everyone else's but I felt better knowing that I was eating less than them all . We all started eating and I ate slowly so I wouldn't finish too fast . Once I saw most of the people done eating I finished my food and talking with Derick since he was done . We sat at the table for only 20 more minutes and the check came . Everyone spit the bill but billie wouldn't let Derick or I pay since she said she was paying for us . Ok rich bitch better for me . After the bill was paid we all left but walked outside together . Everyone said their goodbyes and billie Derick and I went back to mr driver man. He opened the door for billie and I and Derick went around to the front again . It's already a little late and I'm started to feel really sleepy . As soon as we where in the car I laid down across the seat and laid my head on Billies lap not bothering to buckle my seat belt . Billie allowed me to lay on her and rubbed my back and pulled my dress back down . When the car started driving the feeling of the car moving and the warmth and comfort coming from Billie made me feel even sleepier and I allowed myself to fall asleep
Billies Pov
After being in the car for only 2 minutes Lavender was already fast asleep on my lap . I smiled looked down at her and stroked her hair gently . It's already 11pm and past her bedtime so she must be exhausted . I'm hoping she'll stay asleep throughout the whole car ride and the night so she'll have more energy for tomorrow . I continued holding her and shushing her whenever she would start whimpering for the whole hour drive back to the hotel . Derick opened my door when he saw Lav asleep and helped me position her so I could get out of the car while still holding her . She stayed asleep during this whole ordeal and I slowly to the elevator so I wouldn't wake her up . We got to my room and Derick said bye before going next door to his room . I pulled the blankets back and laid her in bed but first took off her clothes and shoes . I left her on the bed and ran over to the other bed to get a diaper and oversized shirt so she would be more comfortable . I got her dressed and went to the bathroom to get makeup remover to take off her makeup . Once her face was free from makeup I slipped her pacifier in her mouth and tightly tucked her in . I laid her blankie under her arm and her stuffed animal next to her . I kissed her forehead before getting undressed and into my pajamas and to the bathroom to do my night routine . Once I was all done I turned off the light and laid next to her . I tightly held onto her and she moved to lay on her side and cuddled closer to me . She nuzzled her nose against my chest but stayed asleep . I rubbed her back and kissed her head before falling asleep myself .
Wilhemina's Pov (i can practically hear y'alls screams)
Dear god what did I do . I can't believe I let myself hit Lav and then yelled at Billie when she took her . This past week has been absolute shit without them and I can't focus at work . I just want my family back but I fucked it up . Walking around my house is painful since all of Lav's toys are still scattered around the living room , her bottles and sippy cups are still in the cupboards and all her other stuff is in our bedroom . It hurts to sleep in the same bed I shared with them only a week ago and seeing all the photos of us around the house always makes my heart skip a beat . It's 8pm and I got home for work and immediately ran up to my bedroom to let out the cries I've held in all day at work . Usually if I had a hard day at work I would have Billie to vent to and cry to and she would make me feel better but now I don't have her . After crying for an hour I sat up in bed and went to the bathroom to take my makeup off and wash my face . After that I took my hair down and brushed out my hair allowing it to just lay down my back . I got out of my work clothes and put on a pair of leggings and a hoodie since it's been cold . I laid back down in bed and thought about my girls . I miss both of them dearly but I can't help but miss Lav a little more . I love both of them with all my heart but with Lav it's different . I have a different type of love for her and it hurts not being able to care for her throughout the day . Not being able to make breakfast for her and feed her , not being able to play with her stuffed animals with her , not being able to watch her shows with her , not being able to make bottles for her and feed her while cradling her for her afternoon nap and then again when it's bedtime and most importantly not waking up with her in the middle of the night when she has a bad dream and holding her and reassuring her she's safe until she falls asleep in my arms . I don't know how she is or if she's ok since Billie won't respond to my texts but I don't blame her . I miss having Lav cradled on my lap on her phone while Billies next to me laying her head on my shoulder while we watch tv at midnight when we all can't sleep . I started crying again and reached over to grab the framed photo of all of us on my bedside table . It was a picture I took and she was sitting on my lap while Billie was standing behind us kissing Lav's cheek . We're all smiling in it other than Lav since it was taken at breakfast and she was upset over having to wake up early . I laid in my bed in the dark thinking about all we did . Most of my memories of Lav when she's not in her head space involve her on her phone or taking pictures of herself and I've always wondered what she would be doing on her phone . Social medias ? Maybe . I got my phone from under my pillow and downloaded Instagram hoping to find her account and maybe more photos of her and Billie that they're taking now . I made an account and tried to think of what her username could be . I typed in her first name and an account with a photo of her for the profile picture popped up . That was easy . Her account name is just Lavender . I clicked on the account and the first photo on her feed . It was from last week and it was of the night sky. Basic . I scrolled all the way to the bottle and clicked on the first picture she posted . It's from 6 years ago . Let me do some math real quick . So if she's 21 now 6 years ago she would have been....15 ? Wow . The photos of her sitting on the ground if what looks like an empty parking lot with a sweater that was unbuttoned and falling off her shoulder and a skirt on . She's smoking a cigarette and in front of her is a beer . Not much has changed about her I see . There's no one around her but someone had to have taken the photo of her since she's looking off to the side . It's dark so I'm guessing this is at night but the photos taken with flash so I can still make out all her features . She looks the same except she looks paler and her body thinner . There was in two in the post so I swiped to the next one and started laughing . She's not standing up holding the cigarette in one hand and holding the beer bottle with her legs and pulling her shirt and pushing her boobs together . She has a wide open mouth smile and she's holding up the peace sign with her free hand . She is the exact same . I looked at her more in the photo and she's clearly drunk out of her mind but also looking at her body in the photo her entire rib cage is showing and her legs look thinner than now . I went to the next photo and it's from the same year . It's a photo of her kneeling next to a cat and kissing it on its cheek . It looks like she took the photo and I tried looking behind her at her surroundings . From what I can see it looks like she's in a room with white walls but very dirty . There's a bed behind her with a million stuffed animals and that's all I can see . I looked at the caption and chucked a bit
'Hate the stepmom but love her cat xx'
The photo after it was from the same day and with another cat and the same type of caption
'Hate the dad but love his cat xx'
She's the exact same . The rest of her photos were all of her either taken by her or by someone else but they all had her in them . Most of them having been taken at night . In most of them she's smoking a cigarette or vaping . Or has a bottle of alcohol near her . A few photos from 3 years ago caught my eye . All from the same year but spread out though out the year . She looks to have out on a bit of weight in them but not much . And most of them include another girl . She looks to be no more than a year or two older than Lav and in most of them she's holding her . In one of them she's laying her head on the girls lap and the photo is taken by someone else . The girl is holding her the way I do when we're lounging and looks to be trying to place her knuckle in Lav's mouth the same way I do . Maybe this girl was Lav's last caregiver ? Maybe the one who abused her ? I'm not sure . I scrolled up a bit until I got to photos from last year . All of them have her and a much older man and some a child in them as well . I clicked on the first one and it was of her and the man hugging . Maybe that's her dad . The next photo in the post was of them kissing . Ok so not her dad . The next post was of her holding the child on her hip . Does she have a kid ? I kept going through photos from last year and none of them have a kid in them . Most of them are just of her and the man . One of them seems to be taken on his birthday
'My darlings 50 today how exciting !!'
He looks 90 . Gross . She looks happy in the photo though . The next one was of her standing in a basketball court holding a ball above her head . She's in a skirt and cropped tank top but since her arms are raised her shirt went high up . Once again her rib cage is fully on display and her legs look thinner than in the photos from when she was a teenager . She looks pale and like if you tapped her she would fall over . The next post was more concerning . She's standing in front of her blue ass house holding her key in her index finger . She's wearing shorts and a tank top that didn't go farther than her bra . Her whole body was practically on display but there wasn't much . She seems to have lost even more weight if that was even possible . Her legs where all bruised and there was a small bruise on her cheek one . There where cuts and scrapes all over her stomach but they don't look like bits she did to herself and neither do the bruises . Her collarbones where on full display and her ribcage was protruding out her stomach and if she fell on her stomach she would probably break every single one of her ribs .
'I finally have a home of my own ! MTV hit me up if you wanna do an episode of Cribs with me ;)'
I smiled reading her caption but frowned when I took in how she looked . Other than her deteriorating body her face looked sadder despite the smile . The next few posts where normal either pictures of her new home or of herself . Most of the photos included her holding a stuffed animal or pictures of just her stuffed animals . I could tell in some of the photos she was regressed and in others she looked like she was about to pass out . Most of them where taken outside her house at night . And then the photos from around the time we met. Most of those she looked happier and looked like she was regressed . I'm in very few of the photos and it's mostly Billie in them . In one from two weeks ago it was from when we where all watching Winnie the Pooh as per Lav's request . She loves this movie and all the characters so we watch it often . The first picture was of the screen with the movie playing . The next was of her chest with a stuffed animal on it and she was holding Billies finger . The next was of all three of us but I was asleep . The final photo was of Billie holding her bottle on her tummy and the movie playing in the background
'Convinced mommy to stop working and watch a movie with mama and me ! She was sleepy tho and fell asleep :( '
I felt sad reading that . Did I work too much ? I should have spent that time with my girls and doing things with the baby . But now I don't have the option . My poor girl just wanted to do things with me but I was too focused on working . I'm glad she has Billie to do things with when I can't . I liked the post and turned off my phone . I want to call Billie to beg her to forgive me but since it's already midnight here it's 3am in New York and I don't want to upset her anymore than I already have . I have to go to work tomorrow but I'll call her during my lunch break and to see if she can talk then . I miss Billie and Lav so much . I just want to be able to talk to Billie about our days and to hold my baby on my lap protectively and make her feel safe . I just wanted her to get well and eat but I lost my temper with her and the mix of the amount of wine I had consumed and my fear got the best of me and I hurt her . I hurt the person I'm suppose to take care of . The look on her face when she fell on the floor and the way she looked up at me will forever be tattooed on my mind . I started crying again when I thought about how she must have felt in that moment and the days after that . She looked at me like she was scared and also hurt by my actions . If I could take it back I would . I would just talk to her and figure out how I could help her instead of slapping her across the face . I opened my phone again and went to Lav's contact . I decided I would text her even though she was probably asleep
'Darling I'm so sorry I hit you I truly didn't mean to . I should have talked with you . I understand if you and Billie are upset with me but I just want to let you know that I love and care for you deeply . I love you and Billie with my whole heart and I feel so terrible for the pain I caused . I should have never laid a hand on you and I promise I never will again . I promise . Call me if you can I just want to hear your voice and apologize . I love you my darling girl'
I sent it and turned off my phone . I slid it under my pillow and laid on my side . I held onto one of Lav's stuffed animals that she left behind and held it close as I cried . All I could think of was her and these thoughts kept me up all night . I just want to hold my little girl and Billie but now I'm left in this bed alone .
A / n End is a bit sad I guess ? It'll get nicer between Lav and Mina dw but there might be some things in the way if then all being reunited .... Who knows ;) oh and if u read my one shots I'm gonna try to post safe pt 3 soon promise k bye xxx